Authors: Adele Abbott
Kathy had invited me over because Peter and his new employee were going to be working late. As I was already in the city centre, I thought I’d pop into Ever A Wool Moment to meet her there.
When I arrived at the wool shop, I noticed two familiar faces in the tea room. It was Grandma with Miles Best. They were enjoying a beverage, and seemed to be having a good old chinwag. Grandma was actually smiling.
I grabbed Kathy. “What’s going on with those two?”
“They’re BFFs now.”
“Grandma and Miles Best? Are you serious?”
“Yes, ever since the incident with the Never-ending Wool, he’s been coming over here to chat with your grandmother. At first, she wasn’t very enthusiastic, but he seems to have won her over. He does have a certain charm about him.”
“He must have if he’s managed to talk Grandma around.”
“From the few snippets of conversation I’ve caught, it sounds as though they’re discussing a number of joint ventures. They’ve been talking about initiatives whereby they can cross-sell between the two shops.”
I had to hand it to Miles. Ever since he’d begged me to get Grandma to reverse the spell on the Never-ending Wool, he’d kept his promise to change his ways. Not only had he closed down Best P.I. Services, but he’d also offered to share his circus acts with the twins, and now he was looking to go into joint ventures with Grandma. It was such a complete turnaround that I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Had the leopard really changed its spots or was he just luring us into a false sense of security?
After Miles and Grandma had left, I waited until Kathy had locked up. One of her friends had collected the kids from school, so they were already home when we arrived.
“Auntie Jill! Auntie Jill!” Lizzie came running up to me. “Don’t forget, it’s my talent competition soon. You are coming, aren’t you?”
“Of course she’s coming,” Kathy said, before I could come up with an excuse. “You’ve been looking forward to it, haven’t you, Auntie Jill?”
“Yes, I’m counting the minutes.”
Thump, bang, thump, bang, thump, bang. Mikey appeared with his drum.
“I thought you weren’t allowed to play the drum in the house?”
“I keep telling you, Auntie Jill, it’s not my birthday yet. When I get my new drum kit, I have to play it in the shop.”
“You can’t expect your Auntie Jill to remember when your birthday is, Mikey.” Kathy gave me
that
look. “After all, she has so many nephews and nieces to keep track of.”
I ignored the cutting (but thoroughly deserved) remark.
“Have you heard any more about the Madge Hick murder?” Kathy asked, after she’d given the kids their microwave pizza (hmm, yummy cardboard!)
“Didn’t I mention it? We’re working on the case.”
“No you didn’t mention it. And who is ‘
we
’?”
“I’ve been working on it with Myrtle Turtle from Middle Tweaking.”
“Myrtle Turtle?” Kathy laughed.
“She’s an amateur investigator.”
“Like you, then?”
“Cheek. I’ll have you know I’m the consummate professional.”
“I thought you preferred to work solo?”
“Generally I do, but Myrtle knows her stuff. And besides, she knows the locals. I’m going over there tonight. We’re going to a lock-in at The Old Trout.”
“A lock-in? Isn’t that just an excuse to drink until the early hours of the morning?”
“Technically, yes. But that’s not why we’re going.”
“Hmm? According to you.”
Just then, the front door opened.
“It’s me,” Peter shouted. “I’ve brought someone with me for dinner, I hope you don’t mind.”
Kathy looked at me, and rolled her eyes. “I hate it when he does this. He’ll expect me to magic up dinner from somewhere, with no warning at all.”
Peter looked hot and sweaty after his day’s endeavours. “Jill, I didn’t realise you were here. Look Kathy, I’m sorry I didn’t give you any warning, but as we’ve been working late, I told Jethro he could have dinner with us.”
Jethro? It couldn’t be. Could it?
I only had to glance at Kathy’s expression to have my answer. She was practically salivating. It was the man who until recently had worked for Aunt Lucy. The man who was adored by every female who saw him, including the twins and Aunt Lucy. Not me though, obviously. I’m not so shallow. He’d given up his gardening job to pursue a career as a male model, and the last time I’d seen him had been in ‘Hunk’, where he’d been part of a male dance troupe.
He glanced across at me, and I saw a hint of recognition in his eyes. Neither of us said anything to indicate that we knew one another, and obviously, Peter and Kathy had no idea that he was actually a wizard.
“This is Jethro,” Peter said. “Jethro, this is Kathy, my wife, and this is Jill, Kathy’s sister.”
“Pleased to meet you both.” He shook our hands.
Kathy took forever to release his hand; she was well and truly smitten.
“We’ll get washed up while you make us something to eat.” Peter gestured for Jethro to follow him. “Burger and chips maybe?”
“Of course.” Kathy whimpered. “Will burger be enough for you, Jethro? I can do something else if you’d prefer it?”
“Burger will be fine, thanks.”
Once the two men had left, I turned to Kathy. “
Will burger be enough for you, Jethro?
” I mocked.
“What?”
“You soon changed your tune. One minute, you’re moaning about Peter bringing someone home for dinner, and the next you’re fawning all over him.”
“I was not
fawning
.”
“Do me a favour. That was world-class fawning.”
“Did you see him, though?”
“What about him?” I shrugged.
“Are you blind? He’s possibly the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. And what a body!”
“I can’t say I noticed. I’m far more interested in a man’s personality than his looks or physique.”
“Of course you are. Do you think I should get changed for dinner?”
“No, just make the burgers.”
By the time I left, Kathy had changed into her best dress. It was pathetic, I’d never go to all that trouble just to impress a man.
What do you mean my date with Luther? That was totally different. Obviously.
***
Just after nine, I drove over to Middle Tweaking where I checked in with Myrtle, to make sure that the plans hadn’t changed. She confirmed I was to ensure I was included in the ‘lock-in’, and that I should keep Trevor distracted once the doors had been locked.
“Hello again,” Trevor greeted me. “You’re becoming a bit of a regular.”
“I’m actually thinking of buying a property in the village, so I thought I should stay over for a few days.”
Once I had my drink, I found a quiet corner, and waited. Just before eleven, Trevor came over.
“It’s Jill, isn’t it?”
“That’s right.”
“Look Jill, the pub will be closing shortly, but we’re having what’s known locally, as a ‘lock-in’.”
“Oh? What’s that?” Again, with the Oscar worthy performance.
“A few regulars stay behind, and carry on drinking after the doors have been locked. Seeing as you’re thinking of moving here, you’re welcome to stay, if you like?”
“Thanks. That’s very kind. I wouldn’t mind staying a little longer if that’s all right.”
Only a couple of people left before the doors were locked; everyone else simply carried on as before. Myrtle and her sidekicks would be putting their plan into action about now, so I needed to make sure Trevor didn’t disturb them.
“Trevor, could I get a lime and soda, please?”
“Are you sure? Wouldn’t you like something a little stronger?”
“No, thanks. Lime and soda will be fine. I see you’re something of a fisherman.” I pointed to the photos on the wall.
“Yes, all my life really. Are you interested in fishing, Jill?”
“My father was a keen fisherman, and he used to take me from time to time.”
“Did he go in for competitions?”
“No. He wasn’t all that good. It was just his way of relaxing. You’ve obviously had a lot of success, though.”
“Yes, indeed.”
“What’s that photo over there?” I pointed.
“That was when I won the cup for fly-fishing in Cumbria in 1997.”
“And that one?”
And that’s how it continued for the next three quarters of an hour. I pointed to a photo, and Trevor bored me to death telling me where, when and how he’d won the cup. He only broke off occasionally to serve drinks to the other customers who had remained behind.
My brain was about to melt and come pouring out of my nose. I was so bored. The sheer effort of trying to look interested was beginning to wear me down.
Suddenly, from a door behind the bar, Myrtle appeared.
Trevor turned around, obviously surprised. “Myrtle? Where did you come from?”
“Upstairs.”
“What were you doing up there? How did you get in?”
Just then, there was a knock on the door.
“I think you should get that, Trevor,” Myrtle said.
He glanced back and forth between Myrtle and the door—not really knowing what to do. There was another knock—louder this time. That made his mind up.
It was Sergeant Charlie Cross. “Can I come in Trevor?”
“This isn’t what it looks like. Just a few friends over for drinks.”
“I’m not here about the lock-in. I’m here to arrest you for the murder of Madge Hick.”
“What? Is this some kind of joke?”
“It’s hardly a joking matter.” He turned to Myrtle. “Ready?”
“Yes. Follow me.”
“Wait!” Trevor shouted. “You can’t go up there.”
“This warrant says I can.” The sergeant flashed a sheet of paper at Trevor. It could have been a shopping list, for all I could tell.
Sergeant Cross took hold of Trevor’s arm, and led him to the door where Myrtle was waiting. She gestured for me to follow. When we got to the top of the stairs, Myrtle stopped, and said, “You almost got away with it, Trevor.”
“Got away with what? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Of course you do.” She pressed one of the wooden panels, which then slid open to reveal a ‘secret’ room. Inside, there were rows of shelves on which were glass cages containing all manner of creepy crawlies and reptiles. It was incredibly hot inside the cramped room.
“After you left your job at the zoo, you missed the exotic creatures that you’d looked after, didn’t you?”
“What of it? There’s no law against keeping these.”
“Actually, I think you’ll find there is,” Sergeant Cross said. “I suspect some of these are dangerous, and require a special licence. I’ve checked, and you don’t have one. You probably knew you’d never be granted a licence to keep them above a pub.”
“I look after them; they’re all perfectly healthy.”
“I’m sure they are,” Myrtle said. “But, that’s not really the point, is it? My guess is some of the snakes have a lethal venom. I suspect that if you were to mix the venom of several of these, you’d probably end up with a poison similar to that found in Madge Hick’s bloodstream.”
“That’s just wild speculation.” Trevor protested.
“Maybe, but once the scientists know which snakes they’re dealing with, it shouldn’t be difficult to test that theory.”
“And how am I meant to have administered the poison? I was in the pub all night.”
“You’re right, of course,” Myrtle conceded. “But that’s where you were clever. Follow me.” She led the way to the beer garden on the roof.
“It’s a great view from here, isn’t it Trevor? Look, that’s Madge’s kitchen. It’s easy to spot; it’s the room with the window which is half open.”
“What are you suggesting? That I threw a poisoned dart at her? Or maybe used a blowpipe?” He laughed, but it was unconvincing. “I might be on the pub’s dart team, but I’m not that good a shot. And besides, the dart would have been found.”
Myrtle smiled the smile of a woman who knew she had her man.
“You didn’t need a dart, Trevor. You used a rod and line. You coated the hook with venom, and then cast the line. You’re an expert—the photos downstairs are proof of that. Getting the line through Madge’s window would have been a trivial matter for you. Once the hook had delivered its poison you simply pulled it back.”
The colour drained from Trevor’s face. He knew the game was up.
“Trevor Total, I’m arresting you for the murder of Madge Hick.” The sergeant clamped handcuffs around Trevor’s wrists, and led him away.
“That was brilliant, Myrtle,” I said, once we were outside.
“I’ve got you to thank for it, Jill.”
“Me? What did
I
do?”
“It was when you mentioned the fly-fishing that it all started to make sense. Madge tried to tell us who murdered her. That’s why she wrote ‘FL’ in the flour. She knew Trevor was known as ‘The Fly’. And, do you remember that Harry complained about the smell of old frogs? That was the exotic animals. From there, it wasn’t difficult to put two and two together. Trevor had the means to deliver the poison—casting a line through that open window would have been child’s play for him. I just had to work out where the animals were. Once Hodd and Jobbs were able to get me inside, the smell soon led me to them.”