All The Glory (31 page)

The coach’s wife was there along with two of his three grown sons. When they turned around their red-rimmed eyes practically glowed with pain. When they noticed me, they shot me looks of pure hatred that made me want to shrink down inside myself and disappear.

I guess everyone knew who I was by then. Jason and I were pretty similar in that way; both of us had exactly two friends left in the world. Bobby hadn’t come with me today, but he’d already sent me eight text messages of support. My parents had no idea I was here but there was nothing they could say to keep me away.

When other people noticed the coach’s family hating on me, it seemed to give out some sort of blanket permission for everyone to stare me down. To avoid all their mean looks I kept my eyes focused straight ahead on the back of Jason’s head and his attorney’s sagging shoulders. Jason’s dad was in my line of sight too, sitting in the front row just behind Jason. I could tell he was tense by the way he wouldn’t lean back in his bench seat. His head was bowed and he never moved.

Finally the door behind the bench opened and the judge came out in a black robe. The bailiff dressed in a cop’s uniform said in a booming voice, “All rise, the honorable Judge Melanie Radcliff is now presiding.”

I didn’t even have time to get up before she started talking.

“Have a seat,” she said, without even looking at us. She picked up some papers on her desk, put on some reading glasses, and proceeded to ignore the entire room. The power wave she was sending out was palpable. It made me sick to my stomach. I hoped she hadn’t read the papers and already decided Jason was guilty and should be put away for life.

No one spoke. There were sounds of people moving around in their seats, a lady coughing, and camera shutters going off, but that was it.

“No cameras in here,” she said without looking up. She sounded pissed. “You want to illustrate, be my guest, but no photography or filming. If I catch you, you’ll be in contempt and you won’t be welcome in my courtroom for a year.”

I didn’t hear any more cameras after that. This woman apparently scared everyone, not just me.

She finally looked up maybe ten minutes later and addressed the bailiff. “Ralph, please bring the jury in.”

He walked over to a door that was next to the jury seats and knocked on it before opening it. Fourteen people of various ages, sizes, colors, and gender filed out and took their seats in the jury box.

I knew from reading on the court’s website that two of them were alternates, whose opinions about Jason would only matter if one or two of the real twelve jurors were dismissed for any reason. I wondered who they were, but there was no way for me to know.

I searched the jury members’ faces, clothing choices, and body language with eagle eyes, imagining I could determine their character and the way their minds would work during the trial by how they looked to me. Were they fair people? Open-minded? Already set against Jason from things they’d invariably seen on the news?

Jason’s attorney had tried to get the court to move the trial out of town for fear of a tainted jury pool, but his request was denied. I wondered if these people who would decide his fate were football fans or anti-sweating types like I used to be. I wondered if any of them would look at Jason’s perfect face and decide before they even heard a word that he had to be guilty, that a boy that good-looking with that much going for him could never have a valid reason to kill a person.

Once the jury settled in, the judge addressed the whole room. “We are here for the case of the State of Florida versus Jason Bradley, the accused being charged with murder in the first degree.”

My heart cracked hearing that from her. She looked like God herself up there on that high pedestal where she sat, her stern face and black robes looking so
final
. A glance at Jason told me nothing. He faced her with his hands folded on the table in front of him, his suit jacket pulled tight against his back. I wanted to tell him it was all going to be okay, even if I knew in my heart it was a lie. Nothing was going to be okay ever again. My throat burned and my stomach churned. If I didn’t barf today it would be a miracle.

She turned her attention to the jury. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you have been sworn in already. You are here to listen and observe. Do not speak unless you are in the jury room. Do not ask questions. Do not make any signals or gestures to anyone in this courtroom. You may take notes about what you hear today and you will be allowed to take those notes into the deliberation room along with all of the evidence. You are charged with determining whether the prosecutor has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that Mr. Bradley committed the crime of which he’s been accused, which is murder in the first degree. Before we send you in for deliberations, I will give you specific instructions guiding you in following the law.”

She didn’t wait for any response before turning to face the two tables in front of her. “Attorneys for the prosecution and for the defense, be warned, I’m not in a good mood today. The last trial I had in here was a three-ring circus and I’m not going to stand for it with this one. No histrionics, no games, no dancing the line, are we clear?”

“Yes, Your Honor,” they both said in unison.

“Good. Opening arguments, then, Mr. Prosecutor?”

I watched with a vague sense of unease as the two attorneys laid out their cases summary-style, telling the jury what they were going to prove. The prosecutor said that Jason had gone to the stadium early with the express purpose to confront the coach about a disagreement they were having about the way he was coaching the team and that he killed the coach in a fit of rage. It wasn’t an accident, it was something he planned to do when the coach didn’t respond the way he had wanted.

Jason’s attorney responded by saying that the prosecution had to prove without any doubt that Jason had gone there and meant to kill someone. That he had intended to do it. He kept talking about
intent
, like it mattered. It seemed to be what his entire case hinged on. He mentioned self-defense, but he didn’t focus on it like I thought he should have.

To me, it didn’t sound all that convincing. Whether Jason had meant to do it or not, he had done it, so it seemed as if this stupid defense attorney was setting Jason up for a big fall. I hated him immediately. He was weak and stupid, I could tell by his sloping shoulders and the ugly green tie he’d worn. I’m no fashionista, but even I knew to wear an honorable-colored tie when facing a jury looking for a murderer. Puke green? Bad, bad choice, asshole. He might as well have tattooed
ignore everything I say
on his forehead.

As the lawyer droned on and on, I scanned the crowd. Not one of Jason’s old friends was here. I knew no one other than Jason’s dad. I was just about to twist back around in my seat to face the front again, when I noticed the doors opening in the back of the room. A small figure slipped in and sat in the back row.

Leo?
I squinted my eyes to see better, but there was a big fat man in my way blocking my view. I was sure it was him, though.

Impatience started eating away at me. I had to talk to Leo and ask him why he’d finally come. Had he re-established his friendship with Jason while I was away? Is that part of the reason why Jason blew me off, because he had his friend back and he only had room for one? I knew it was silly, but I was willing to give Jason any possible excuse for breaking my heart that I could. If he wanted Leo to be his friend instead of me, I could live with that; as long as he had a friend, I would be able to sleep at night again.

The judge called for a lunch break and everyone stood. Looking at my watch, I was shocked to see it was one o’clock already. I couldn’t believe those lawyers had talked for so long. Quickly making my way out of the bench seat to the back of the room, I scanned the crowd for a little person, but Leo was already gone by the time I got to the doors.

“Katy!” said a voice from behind me. It was Jason’s dad.

“I’ll be right back!” I said, running out the door as fast as I could without looking like a lunatic. I felt bad that he might think I was running from him, but there was nothing I could do about it. Something told me Leo being here was an occurrence I wouldn’t be seeing again. If I didn’t love Jason so much I wouldn’t have wanted to come back either; the lawyers were as dry as over-cooked toast.

The hallway was filled with people who’d left the courtroom. Leo was nowhere in sight, but I took off towards the front hall of the courthouse to see if he was on his way out.

I caught sight of him as he was going through the turnstiles at the exit to the main building, but I waited until he was outside and just a few feet in front of me before I said his name.

“Leo!”

He turned to me, his face frozen in shock.

“Don’t run away, I’m not going to do anything to you.” I held my hands out, hoping it would make me look less threatening.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“Same thing you are. Watching Jason’s trial. Hoping they don’t send him to prison for the rest of his life.”

Leo moved on and I caught up to walk next to him.

“I have to go. I’m s’posed to be in school,” he mumbled.

“Me too. How’d you get here?”

He looked up, facing where he was walking. “Bus.”

We were quickly approaching the stop and a bus was waiting there. I panicked, thinking I’d never see him again.

“Jason’s life is ruined,” I blurted out, tears filling my eyes. “Have you talked to him?”

Leo stopped. He wouldn’t look at me. “No.”

“Me neither. He won’t talk to me anymore.”

Leo looked up at me. “Why not?”

“I don’t know.” It was embarrassing to be crying in front of this kid, but I couldn’t stop. My heart was broken for about ten different reasons. “After I talked to you, he got so mad at me, he told me I couldn’t be his friend anymore.”

“You serious?” Leo looked as if he didn’t believe me. The bus pulled away.

“Yes.” I looked down at him. “And I was the only friend he had left.”

Leo’s chin started to quiver.

“Why didn’t he want me talking to you, Leo? Why did he cut me off for that? Was it about the shoes?”

I don’t know why I was so fixated on those damn shoes. I just kept seeing their bright color and the flashy look they had on those little boy’s feet. Shoes meant for an older guy. Shoes meant for a serious athlete who spent a lot of money on his equipment. Shoes that looked so out of place on a twelve year old who lived behind a chain-link fence.

Leo surprised me when he started bawling. Right there on the sidewalk, his face collapsed in tears and snot started running out of his nose. He wrapped his arms around himself and turned away, but the sounds coming from him were devastating to hear. He sounded like a tortured animal.

Something came over me and I forgot society’s rule that I keep my distance. I put my arms around him and squeezed him tight. “Please don’t cry,” I said through my own tears. “It’s going to be okay.”

“It’s never going to be okay!” he yelled. “Never! Do you hear me! Never!”

“I hear you, I hear you, but I don’t understand.” I released my grip enough to turn him around. Bending down so I could get on my knees in front of him, I looked him in the eye. We were a mess, both us covered in tears and boogers and pain.

“I don’t understand, Leo. Please tell me what happened. Were you there? Did you see it happen?”

Leo shook his head. “I wasn’t there.”

“You weren’t? Are you sure?” I so wanted him to be a witness, to save Jason from this horrible fate.

“I’m sure.” He nodded. But tears kept coming, and his face was a mess of misery.

“Tell me what’s on your mind. I know there’s something wrong.”

“I can’t.”

I squeezed his arms hard. “Yes, you can, Leo! Tell me!”

“Excuse me,” said a voice behind me, “is there a problem here?”

It was a police officer with his hand on his hip, his feet spread apart a little. He looked ready for action.

I stood up and stepped to the side of Leo. “No, no problem here. I was just talking to my friend, Leo.” I wiped my nose with the back of my wrist.

He looked at Leo. “Sounded more like you were yelling at him and being a little rough about it.”

Leo’s chin came up. “No, she wasn’t. We were jus’ talkin’. We’re friends.” His hand slid into mine and I squeezed it, my heart filling with hope.

“Yes, we’re friends having a conversation about someone we care about, that’s it. We got a little over-emotional, and I’m sorry if that freaked you out.”

The cop smiled. “Happens at the courthouse. Have a good day.” He walked away and left us standing there. Our tears had mostly dried but there was an acre of unspoken terrain between us.

I looked down at Leo and our clasped hands. “Leo, you really need to tell me what’s going on.”

He looked down at our hands. “I know,” he whispered. “But I’m afraid.”

I let him go so I could put my arm over his shoulders. We turned to face the courthouse. “You don’t have to be afraid. Jason’s your friend and he’s fearless. And I’m your friend too.”

“You seem pretty fearless,” he said, sounding much younger than his twelve years.

“Nah. I’m scared shitless most of the time, but I go into things anyway. I guess that makes me brave.”

“Or maybe stupid,” he said.

I laughed. “Or that.” I started walking with him next to me. “Come on. Let’s go get a Coke and we can talk.”

“I’m not going to talk in there,” he said, tensing up as we got closer to the courthouse.

“We can talk outside. Look, there’s a vending machine. Sit here on this bench and I’ll get you a drink.”

He sat down and I walked over to get a drink, but by the time I had two cans in hand and had turned around, he was gone. I collapsed to the ground in tears.

Chapter Fifty

THE TRIAL ENDED THAT DAY with the prosecutor questioning a witness, the guy who maintained the stadium and who’d opened it up early for the coach. Other than Jason, he was the last one to see Coach Fielding alive. He testified that the coach acted totally normal that day, that nothing was amiss before Jason arrived. The defense attorney didn’t cross-examine him.