All That Matters (21 page)

“I'll try.”

“Don't try. Do, or I'll have to kick your ass.” He moved his hand down, swatted her ass playfully. She jolted but didn't move away. Train took that as an invitation and drew back the covers. She was warm beneath them, dressed in a tee shirt and nothing else.

“How was your day?” she asked when he'd settled down behind her with his hand on her hip.

“I didn't get to work until late, there was some Nightshade stuff that needed attention. The new place is coming along good. I was thinking I'd start putting in a few extra hours a day, get it done quicker. The whole second floor is pretty much framed out. It should be pretty easy from here on out. Maybe I'll take Leo with me, let him learn how to swing a hammer.”

“He'd like that a lot. And I've shown him how to use a hammer,” she said with a huff.

“Meg, I've seen you hammer. I'm surprised that you haven't managed to maim yourself or someone else. How about you let me, the expert, teach him the right way? Who knows? Maybe he'll like it and we won't have to worry about money for college.”

“You said we.”

“Yeah, what's your point? I'm all fucking in, Meg.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too. I probably won't take him for a few days, let this shit with Info get straightened out first.” Train realized after he spoke that he'd probably said too much.

“Info? He's back?”

“Yeah,” Train sighed. “He's back and he's a fucking idiot. He went to this porn guy we deal with, used his connection to us to arrange a date, but he never brought her back. She's one of those barely legal, girl next door types. Figure he's thinking he might have found the new Peaches.”

“He's disgusting.”

“I couldn't agree more.” Train slid closer to her, let his hand slide under her shirt. “And like I said, a stupid fucker. If he wants to make himself the perfect old lady, he can't just pick a porn ho up and try to turn her into anything but a porn ho. A girl like that, she's good for fucking and not a whole lot more.”

“It doesn't surprise me that he's stupid,” she said after a long pause. “I think that the sleepy medicine is starting to work again.”

“It's time to shut your eyes, then. Come here.” Train wrapped his arms around her as she came to him. He'd never been one to cuddle, but there was nothing in the world like holding her. It was as satisfying as sex for him to feel her pressed against him, to smell the sweet scent of the gardenia soap she liked to use and know that she was with him, really with him.

He'd spent a lifetime thinking that he didn't want what was in his arms right now, the woman and a family. Train still wasn't sure if he was capable of not fucking up somehow, but he was going to try his damnedest not to hurt her more than she'd already been hurt. He didn't know how she'd been hurt or who had hurt her, but it was there and it was more than just her dickhead brother.

“Can't breathe,” she gasped and Train realized he'd tightened his grip on her. Immediately he loosened his grip.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“I like it when you hold me tight, just not that tight.” Her lips pressed against his chest. “I really do love you. You know that, don't you?”

Train looked down at her. She looked so sad that it caused a sharp pain in his chest. “Of course I know that, Meg. You sure that it's just things with Joshua that have you down? Is there something else?” A look crossed her face so quickly that he couldn't be sure what it was but it felt like fear. “You can talk to me if there is. Whatever it is, we'll figure something out, whatever it takes.”

“I think I'm just stressing myself out,” she replied after a pause. “I do that sometimes.”

“Yeah, I figured that out already.” Train stroked his hand over her arm. “You've got to relax. I've got you.”

<#<#<#<#

“You've got your homework, your lunch and all that other stuff you've just got to have for school?” Train had learned the hard way that he needed to make sure and ask; he was done having to turn around and come back home after they were already at the school.

“No lunch,” Leo replied. “Meg didn't pack me one.”

“School lunch it is.” Train took out his wallet; the smallest bill he had was a twenty. “I want change from that, kiddo. Not like the last time. Let's get moving, you're going to be late. Don't slam the door, we don't want to wake Meg up.”

“She's still upset about Joshua, right? He was crazy yesterday. Like he really wanted to hurt her. I told her that we shouldn't go back ever, but she said that we're his family and we've got to stand by him, whatever it takes.” Leo looked less than pleased by Meg's determination.

“Meg's a smart lady,” Train replied. He felt proud of her for being so loyal but hoped it wouldn't come back to bite her in the ass. “Smart enough that I think she'll understand if you want to take a break from going to visit Joshua for a while.” It would hurt her, but for Leo's best interest she would agree.

“Would you talk to her? I don't want to make her feel bad.” Leo looked both relieved and ashamed.

“So I can make her feel bad?” Train let out a laugh. “Thanks for throwing me under the bus, kiddo. I'll talk to her, though.” He thought that it would be good for both of them to take a break, probably good for Joshua, too, so that the doctors could figure out something that would work.

The ride to the school was a short one. Leo chatted the entire way about what he was looking forward to that day. Train never remembered being that excited to go to school. He'd only gone because it was usually somewhere he could get something to eat and got him out of the house. When they pulled up in front of the school, the scene was one of controlled chaos. Train parked the car, got out and walked up with Leo. “You sure that you've got everything?”

“Yes,” Leo answered. “There's Javi, can I go and walk in with him?” He pointed over to where a group of boys stood.

Train had heard the name numerous times; Javi was one of Leo's closest friends. “Sure, I'll see you after school, okay?”

“Alright. Are you picking me up or Meg?” Leo asked.

“I'm not sure.”

“I like to be sure,” Leo said seriously.

“I know that you do, kiddo.” Train wished that Leo wasn't already a world-class worrier, but he was. He liked routine, liked to know what to expect. “I'll pick you up, unless something comes up with the club.” Train knew that the mention of it being Nightshade business would ease any anxiety Leo had about not knowing who to look for in the crowd after school.

“Okay. Bye, Train. Love you.” Leo took off like a shot towards a tall boy with close cropped black hair, who he assumed was Javi.

“Love you too, kiddo.” Train knew that Leo couldn't have heard him, but he said it anyway. He looked past Leo and Javi, spotted Manuel holding a pink princess backpack. He remembered that Manuel had kids, figured that he was doing the drop-off thing as well. Train turned to walk away, but Manuel noticed him, waved with the hand that wasn't holding the glittery pink bag. He'd promised Buster that he'd think about patching the Street Kings over; doing so implied that he was going to play nice, so he waved back instead of walking away.

Apparently that was all the encouragement Manuel needed to approach him. “Morning.” Manuel held out his hand in greeting.

“Morning,” Train replied. “Dropping the kids off, or are you trying out a new style?” He motioned to the bag with a smirk.

“My daughter, Zoe, is the one who likes pink things and sparkles. She's the hyper one over there checking out her friend's baby brother. My son Javi is over there. You're dropping off Leo? Where's Meg?”

“She's not feeling so hot,” Train replied. “Never seen you dropping off the kids before.”

“My old lady usually does it, but she had to work a double today, so here I am. Zoe,” he called out, “come and get your bag before you're late for homeroom.” He turned his attention back to Train. “You got time for a cup of coffee before you head to work? I'd like for us to talk.”

“I've got time.” Train had enough respect for Manuel to hear what he had to say. “Where?”

“There's a diner down the block, The Lunch Box. Meet you there in five?”

“Alright.” Train made sure to watch Leo go into the building. “See you there.” He got back in the truck, felt lazy for driving the three blocks but did it anyway. Manuel had to be right behind him, so he went inside.

“Good morning.” The chipper looking hostess smiled at him. “Table or counter?”

“A booth if you've got it, in the back would be good.” Train followed her to the back. “Thanks.” He took the side of the booth facing the door and waited. It gave him time to organize his thoughts. They were getting pretty jumbled; it wasn't a surprise because everything kept changing. He didn't like when things were fluid. Things should be what they were.

The hostess approached again. “Hey. You ready to order or are you waiting on someone?”

“I'll take a coffee for now,” he replied. “Thanks.”

“Not a problem. I'll be back in a minute.” She smiled at him but didn't linger. He was glad for that as he saw Manuel walk in.

“Thanks again for meeting me. I appreciate it.”

“Hey, Manuel,” the waitress was back before he had a chance to say more. “You want the usual?”

“Yeah, Nydia. Thanks.”

“No problem. How about you, hon? You ready to order?”

Train hadn't planned on eating, but the aromas that drifted out of the kitchen had made him hungry. “I'll take scrambled eggs, rye toast and bacon, please.”

“Home fries or hash browns?”

“Neither,” he answered.

“I'll take his hash browns,” Manuel offered.

“Alright, I'll be right back with the coffee. Give me ten minutes on the food.” She walked away from the table.

“So, what's on your mind?” Train didn't want to force out small talk. They might as well get down to the meat of the issue, get it out of the way. “I'm figuring it has something to do with the proposed patch-over.”

“You'd be right about that. You're a smart guy, a thinker. I've always respected that about you.” Manuel tapped his fingers against the table. “I know you're not on board with us patching over. I just don't know why, and I'd like to.”

It was a direct question; Train appreciated that. “You and your guys are strong, tough. You've had our back when you said you would, and I appreciate that, but The Street Kings have always operated on a different level from Nightshade. We're a brotherhood.” The Street Kings dealt in drugs without hesitation, recruited members at young ages and, for the most part, didn't give a flying fuck for the community they lived in.

“And we're a bunch of street thugs,” Manuel spoke up. His eyes flashed with anger, but his expression remained passive.

“You said it, not me.” Train took a sip of his coffee.

“I'm not arguing with it, either.” Manuel cleared his throat. “I started with The Street Kings when I was twelve, not much older than Javi or Leo. By the time I was thirteen, well, let's just say my mother spent most of her days praying for me. We stopped recruiting kids when I took over. I had really high hopes that I could change things. I tried. I really did, but as you know, our numbers have thinned over the years, and so has business. Members have left, unhappy that I'm not going back to old ways to keep us alive.”

“And you're like rats off of a sinking ship, trying to jump on ours,” Train said.

“That's harsh.”

“Life is harsh,” Train replied with a shrug. “You really ready to give up every tie to The Street Kings? The ink? Are your guys? Are you ready for what comes with being Nightshade? Riding your miles? Paying your dues and everything else that comes along with it?” It was disturbing to Train that they were ready to cut ties, lose ink and just go to another side. He couldn't imagine any circumstances under which he'd up and leave Nightshade. The club was a part of who he was.