All Snug (4 page)

so good when trying to make friends.

And where had that come from? This wasn’t about

making friends. Shawn and I were both accounted for, and

the last thing we needed was to get any more involved than

B.G. Thomas

Al Snug [27]

we already were. Distance. I needed to maintain a

professional distance.

That’s when we got to Carter’s stable. He was waiting for

us. Shawn got out of the car all sweetness and light, like

nothing had happened. I decided to play right along with it.

“I’m dying to know how you got yourself into this,”

Carter said with a smirk after I’d made introductions, and he

had a moment to pull me aside. “You trying to get that little

fox in bed?”

“You know I’m seeing someone,” I told him. “And I don’t

cheat.” That and bedding Shawn would be just about the

worst mistake I could make.

“No. No you don’t cheat, I’ll give you that,” Carter

acknowledged and led us to the large stable. Inside, I

realized I might have gotten in over my head. The place was

a lot bigger than I remembered. Carter showed us what to

do. This was going to be a messy job.

“This won’t be that bad,” Shawn said. “Not much

different than my Grandpa’s barn.”

“Barn?” I asked turning to face him. “I thought you said

you had never been around horses.”

He shook his head. “I never said that. I used to visit my

Grandpa every summer, and he had a horse. I guess I

figured stables were a lot different. Shadow’s stall isn’t really

any different than these.”

Carter gave a high laugh. “I am going to enjoy this,” he

said.

B.G. Thomas

Al Snug [28]

I did get horseshit on my hands. Under my nails, and

even on my face when I forgot and swatted one of the

seeming million flies that swarmed around that place. Who

would have imagined that Carter would have allowed flies in

his stables? It was fucking sweaty work, too, even though it

was December. It had been unseasonably warm the last

week. In no time I’d taken my shirt off, and when I saw

Shawn was bare-chested, I took off my undershirt as well.

“Jesus,” said Shawn when we met in the main aisle at

one point. “Look at your chest!” he exclaimed.

I felt a little thrill at his admiration of my body. I think

anyone who spends a lot of time working out enjoys finding

out their efforts haven’t been for nothing. And I liked the fact

that it was Shawn who was doing the admiring. I also found

I was staring at Shawn as well. For a man who didn’t work

out, Shawn looked mighty fine. He had a nice chest with a

little triangle of hair nestled between his pecs and small

brown nipples that just begged to be touched, and he was

glistening with sweat. “You don’t have anything to be worried

about,” I said, and tore my eyes away before he gave me a

boner. Carter would never let me hear the end of that.

When I finally finished my last stall and went to

proclaim my victory, I found Shawn sharing a Coke with

Carter. What the fuck?

“He wins,” Carter said pointing at Shawn.

“Want a Coke?” Shawn asked and had the good grace

not to gloat.

B.G. Thomas

Al Snug [29]

SO WE were back at The Radiant Cup, and Shawn had

insisted on paying this time. I wanted to argue, but I also

knew not to step on a man’s ego. It was like stepping on his

dick. The only reason I even saw the look of distress on his

face when the barista gave him the total was because I was

watching him carefully.

Invading his privacy, came my inner voice again, and I

hushed it. Privacy? Ridiculous.

The look was only on Shawn’s face for a fraction of an

instant, but it was there all the same, and I knew he was

thinking about Aldi’s again. Hopefully it wouldn’t spoil his

enjoyment of his coffee.

It didn’t seem to. He’d printed out an article on the

Labors of Heracles, and we were looking them over.

“Slaying the Hydra?” he asked. “I don’t think we should

kill anything.”

“That eliminates three out of the twelve then,” I said

counting.

“And what’s this one about capturing the golden hind of

Artemis? What’s a hind? I refuse to believe it’s talking about

her butt.”

This time I did spit out my coffee. It came out of my

nose as well. “A hind is an animal,” I finally managed. “It’s

like an antelope or a deer. The kind that can climb real high

and on these really sheer surfaces, like a mountain goat.”

“So is it a goat or a deer?” he asked.

“Just picture a big stag,” I offered.

B.G. Thomas

Al Snug [30]

He nodded. “Except I don’t think we’ll be capturing any

animals.”

“That’s going to eliminate quite a few more,” I pointed

out.

“And I don’t think we should steal anything either,” he

said.

“Does that leave anything?” I asked.

He shrugged and finished his coffee.

“You want some more?” I asked him.

“Nah,” he replied.

“You get a second cup for free,” I explained.

His eyes lit up. “Oh! Sure,” he said with a grin.

I took his cup and went and got us seconds, trying not

to think about his cash flow and worries about the cost of

second cups of coffee. I hoped his man appreciated what he

had in Shawn.

When I got back, I of course had to open my mouth and

ask him if his man was worth all this.

“You bet,” Shawn stated, voice filled with confidence.

“He taught me that what I’d begun to suspect wasn’t true.”

“I’m not following you,” I remarked.

“Oh!” He laughed. “I mustn’t forget to tell you my great

coming-out story!” He took a sip of his coffee and rolled his

eyes. “So after I get to Kansas City, I finally build up the

nerve to find some gay bars. Now, I don’t do this until I get

my own apartment. That took a few months, too, finding a

job and everything. I just couldn’t take some guy home with

B.G. Thomas

Al Snug [31]

me while I was living with my aunt. She knew I was gay, and

she was supportive and everything, but there was no way I

was going to have sex with a man with her just down the

hall. I would have been mortified.”

I nodded. I couldn’t really picture myself fucking Steve

with my aunt within listening distance either. Of course, she

was a nun.

“So I meet this guy in a bar,” Shawn continued, “and we

went home, and I finally had sex with a man. Oh hell! It was

fireworks and tidal waves and everything Karin never was. It

was fucking incredible. If I hadn’t known I was gay before, I

sure knew then. And he was a stranger. I just knew I was in

love, and I practically stalked him. He let me hang around

for a while, and then I caught him with this other guy. He

didn’t even try to hide it. He wanted to be caught, because

he didn’t have the balls to explain the gay birds and bees to

me.”

“Gay birds and bees?” I said and managed not to laugh.

“That men just fuck. That’s what we do. We fuck. No

love, no home building. I left a home and a loving wife to

discover you can’t have love with another man.”

“Oh shit,” I said.

“But then it happened, El! I found it. I fucked for a year,

and then I found love. I really did. He’s not perfect, believe

me. I don’t get to see him much; he works a lot. But I found

love, and that’s why I want that bed. I just know if I get him

that bed, he will be so shocked, and he’ll see how much I

love him, and then we can really be together.”

B.G. Thomas

Al Snug [32]

Damn, and there were so many holes in that philosophy

I couldn’t even begin to tell him. It was also the last thing I

was going to do. How had things gotten so serious?

Because you went and got nosy, said my inner voice.

You should have just left things alone.

But I didn’t believe that. Because now I knew why

Shawn wanted that bed. Who cares if it was for the wrong

reasons? How did I know it was for the wrong reasons?

Maybe he was right. Just because I’d never found love didn’t

mean it wasn’t there to be found.

“I guess we better get back to your list, then,” I

suggested.

Shawn nodded and looked back down at the sheet of

paper.

“You know we don’t have to steal anything,” I said. “We

can alter that.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“This one about the girdle of the Amazonian Queen…?”

“What about it?” he asked, a boyish expression on his

face. “This I gotta hear.”

“Well,” I explained, “what if instead of stealing it, we talk

her out of it?”

“The Amazonian Queen? So where are we going to find

her?”

“There are certainly plenty of queens around Kansas

City. What if we have one night to talk a drag queen into

giving us her girdle? The first of us to get one is the winner.”

B.G. Thomas

Al Snug [33]

Shawn burst into laughter, and it was like music to my

ears. “Oh my God!” he said. “That’s hilarious!”

“Well?” I asked. “Is that a yes or a no?” I bobbed my

eyebrows. “You brave enough to try it?”

“Sure,” he all but squealed. “Let’s go for it.”

“I’ll pick you up again,” I said. “That way we’ll both get

there at the same time.”

“Okay,” he said. “And tonight would be a good night.

Sunday is when The Male Box has The Liddle Awful Annie

Show.”

“I’ve never heard of it,” I said, and I hadn’t.

Shawn

rolled

his

eyes.

“You’re

probably

too

sophisticated. It would be way beneath you.”

“I’ve enjoyed a good drag show,” I said offended.

“Then you’ll love this one. Pick me up at nine, and we’ll

get good seats. And drinks are only two bucks,” he added.

“Well drinks that is,” I reminded him.

“Snob!” he said, and we both almost fell into each

other’s arms laughing.

SO I picked Shawn up at nine, as per our plans, and we

were back at The Male Box. To my surprise, The Liddle Awful

Annie Show was everything Shawn had said, and more. The

hostess was this buxom and very funny lesbian dressed as a

naughty version of Little Orphan Annie. Wild wig, eyes

painted to look like the blank eyes of the famous comic strip,

B.G. Thomas

Al Snug [34]

and tits that threatened to explode out of her red velvet dress

and corset.

She could sing too. Not lip-syncing, but actual singing.

She did this filthy version of “Tomorrow” from the musical

Annie, and then followed it with that hilarious radio song

“Walkin’ ’Round in Women’s Underwear.” She was joined in

the second number by the rest of her cast: a huge man

known as Billy the Bear and two drag queens with the

names Dixie Wrecked and Gena Talia.

“There we go,” I said. “Which one do you want?”

Shawn laughed. “I don’t want either one of them,” he

remarked. “But for girdles I guess I’ll go for Gena?”

“Okay,” I replied. Dixie was the smaller of the two. I

couldn’t imagine why Shawn had picked Gena. Maybe Karin

hadn’t been the petite thing I’d conjured up in my mind?

The show went on, and it was crazy sexy. Why, just at

the beginning Annie pulled two very hot men up on stage,

and I thought they were going to have sex right there in front

of us. How would Shawn have reacted to that? But the sex

didn’t happen. Annie broke it up, and the hotties hightailed

it out of there, presumably to go and have the sex we weren’t

going to get to witness.

So we watched the rest of the show and had a ball. The

only weird moment was when Shawn went off to the

bathroom and came back with drinks for us both. He had a

hell of a shell-shocked look on his face too. Shit! He’d bought

me the Lagavulin, and I knew it was about the price of six of

his two-dollar drinks. So I had a car that cost as much as

fifteen houses in the town he came from, and I drank a

whisky that cost as much as six of his drinks. What was he

B.G. Thomas

Al Snug [35]

thinking of me? Was I turning into a major ass in his mind?

A complete and total snob? For some reason, his opinion of

me had become really important to me.

“I want to pay for this,” I told him, and he turned and