All Saints: Love and Intrigue in the Stunning New Zealand Wilderness (The New Zealand Soccer Referee Series Book 1) (3 page)

“I’m sorry. I don’t
mean to be so...” I scratched around for the word but only
hostile
presented itself. Teina Fox watched as I rose, picking my way around the coffee
table until I stood before him, my face blank and expressionless as I worked to
keep the empty need at bay. My eyes betrayed me and he read it there instead.
“Will you hold me again?” I asked, desperate to touch the rippling muscle and
feel his strength wrap around my body. He moved and I inhaled a heady breath of
his masculine scent. My calves pressed against the coffee table as he stood,
occupying the remaining floor space between me and the sofa. I swallowed, waiting
for rejection.

It didn’t come.
Teina said nothing, drawing me into his chest and enfolding me in his arms. He
squeezed and the breath went out of me in a whoosh. I snaked my arms around his
waist and held on, desperate for it not to end. Safety enveloped me and I
wished I could stay there suffocating in the clean smell of his shirt, my cheek
pressed against the soft, expensive fabric. “Are you married? Or with someone?”
I whispered, sparing a thought for the woman he belonged to, being thrust into
my position of jilted wife and knowing I wouldn’t be able to follow through and
seat her on my victim’s throne.

“No.” His voice
sounded muffled as my ear nestled against his chest, my makeup transferring
itself to the white cloth with abandon. I pulled his left hand towards me,
searching for the gold evidence and saw nothing as I slipped my fingers through
his, mine tiny in comparison. When I tipped my head up and let his lips find
mine, I tasted the merlot on his tongue and he explored my mouth with tenderness.
He teased my senses, touching my tongue with his and then withdrawing it,
kissing as though we were teenagers who hadn’t worked out the mechanics of it
yet. I bit his lower lip and he groaned and released his tongue into my mouth
again, letting me connect with him and taste his essence. My common sense
screamed out a warning but for once, I ignored it, wanting to expunge my former
life with an illusion of how it could have been; one night stands, beer fuelled
holidays. And babies.

The first time was
a frenzied, mechanical union of lustful bodies and we undressed only the
necessary parts of each other. My sofa creaked and groaned under our activity
and I blocked out the distracting noises as I satiated myself in the intimate
live connection with another human being. We each took what we wanted from the
other and lay exhausted in the afterglow, neither one of us wanting to break
the atmosphere with futile platitudes as we waited for our heartbeats to return
to normal.

“You ok?” Teina
whispered eventually, surprising me with his caring. My foot rested against his
calf and I felt the dark hair tickling my toes. He stroked my cheek and fixed a
gentle kiss over my lips, his own trembling with the adrenaline withdrawal. The
pressure of his body over mine pinned me to the sofa cushions and the
uncomfortable gap between them, but it didn’t matter and I dreaded him starting
to move away in the ultimate rejection. I wound my arms around his neck like a
baby monkey and tried to make the moment last, my face pushed against his
shoulder. To my surprise he stroked my curls and kissed my neck and the
underside of my jaw. He’d leave soon; walking out of my life as though I didn’t
matter. Because I didn’t, not to him. Not to many people really.

“I’ve never done
this before,” I whispered and he smiled with his eyes.

“Never?”

I buried my face in
his shirt to hide my embarrassment and shook my head. “Not like this. I don’t
know you.”

Teina ran his thumb
down my jaw line and his expression looked kind. He leaned up on one elbow and
nodded, the movement slow and calculating. “Would you like to know me?” he
asked, the crinkles in the outer corners of his eyes softening his angular
face.

“You’re a referee,”
I said, chewing my bottom lip in mischief. “I just broke a Saint rule.”

“A cardinal rule
too,” Teina said with a low snort. He kissed my cheek, the end of my nose and
then my lips as his eyelashes fluttered against my skin like falling rose
petals. When he moved I felt the hardness of his interest against my inner
thigh and saw a vision of myself; falling like a loose stone into the swirling
lava of volcanic lust. It served as a warning and I should have heeded it. I
shouldn’t have led the dark stranger through the apartment to my sterile
bedroom and I certainly shouldn’t have slipped out of my summer dress with such
a frisson of excitement mixed with fear. I shouldn’t have delighted in the way
he undid the buttons of his shirt or the sound of it fluttering to the floor.
From the first moment I invited him into my tiny flat, I suspected I was in
trouble. I shouldn’t have been surprised by its outworking.

I woke with the taste of wine in my mouth, mingled with the masculine
tang of Teina. I lay for a while listening to him breathe and feeling his arms
tighten when I tried to shift. He’d moved his leg over me in the night and he
lay awkwardly, his arms sheltering me. In the semi-darkness I examined his
tattoo, watching the black lines morph into patterns and words across his skin.
The sheet cut across his midsection and I watched him for signs of waking as I
pushed it away with care, needing to see the man who gave me so much pleasure a
few hours ago.

He disturbed and I
felt myself tense, afraid of his reaction when he woke in my bed. Me; a
stranger.

“About last night,”
he began. I scooted up the bed and covered his lips with mine. His hands
clasped my waist and he kissed me back, inducing a sense of relief. The last
thing I needed was rejection and the slamming of Pandora’s Box lid on my
fingers. “I don’t want to talk about last night,” I breathed. “I just want to
do it again, without talking.”

“Fine. Because I’m
not sorry.” He bent his head and kissed me. I groaned and ran my hand across his
torso, surprised when he froze under me. “What’s the time,” he asked and I
heard the panic in his voice. “I’ve got a game.”

I glanced at the
bedside table and saw the digital numbers flash to 5.35, relaying the time back
to him. “We’ve got ages. Where do you have to go?”

Guilt slid across
Teina’s expression and he pursed his lips. “I’m reffing your guys at 3
o’clock.” He frowned. “I should cry off the game and ask them to get someone
else.”

“I’m not affiliated
to the club anymore,” I breathed, sliding down his body to take one of the
delectable nipples in my mouth. Teina groaned. I released the raised bulb and
watched it lose some of the erectness as the pressure ended. “I’m the widow of
last year’s captain, that’s all.”

My words stung him
and Teina tutted, strengthening his resolve. His determination to leave
frightened me and I held him in place, needing to explore his body more. He’d
given me a glimpse at a gripping book and threatened to steal it before I’d
read the final page. “Stay?” I said, hating the edge of begging in my voice.
“Just a little while longer.” I sat up and settled my knees either side of his
waist, nestling them into his soft skin. His hip bones dug into my calves and
the discomfort excited me. When he flipped me over, the deep kiss frigged the
electrical components in my brain, shorting out all good sense as his tongue
caressed my lips and probed the depths of my mouth. Our teeth banged together
and woke me from the stupor. “Not like this!” I gasped, fighting to remove the
memory of Pete’s missionary fumble and afraid of ever reading duty and
disinterest in another lover’s eyes.

Teina’s eyes
weren’t indifferent. He kept me pinned in position, his body over mine as his
finger traced the outline of my face. He kissed the end of my nose and walked
his lips up to my forehead and over my right eye. “You’re so perfect,” he
whispered and I opened my mouth to contradict him. “He never deserved you.”
Teina’s allusion to my husband caused a stiffening to begin in my spine and I
raked his eyes with mine, searching for the knowledge I feared he had.

Compassion and need
channelled into me from the deep brown eyes and I panicked. Raising a hand to
push him away, I found my ready fist gripped in a strong vice and Teina drew my
arm above my head. He nuzzled my neck and fixed my free wrist in his other hand
raising it to join the other. “Sshhh,” he commanded, authority in his tone. I
pushed my fretting to one side for later and leaned into the sensations he drew
from my inexperienced body.

“You won’t hurt
me?” My voice wavered in the half-light and Teina’s eyes widened.

“No! Hell, no!” His
body covered mine and he pulled my arms down, wrapping them around his neck as
he smothered my lips with his. “I promise,” he whispered and I believed him.

I trusted him
enough to relax and an hour later he pushed me, giggling into the shower. “I
have to go to church tomorrow,” I said, running my hands through the dark
curls. “But I’ll be struck by lightning.” My laughter sounded as fake as it
was. I believed I’d be crimped the second I walked through the doors.

“A good Christian
girl, hey?” he asked, rubbing shower gel onto my back.

“I thought I was.”
My voice sounded sad, even to me and I felt a sickness in my gut, as though I’d
crossed a line and couldn’t retrace my steps. My brain latched onto a vision of
the vicar’s face as he stood in front of the altar and smiled at me, genuine
concern in his upturned lips and twinkling green eyes. Maybe I wouldn’t go
tomorrow after all. He wouldn’t know what I’d done but God did. I chewed my lip
and grew quiet.

“Are you ok?” Teina
wrapped his arms around me from behind and his hairy chest felt safe against my
back. I nodded and forced a smile onto my lips.

“This is new to
me,” I stammered. “I don’t know what happens next.”

“What do you want
to happen?” he asked, his lips quirking at the edges as he turned me and
pressed me into his body.

“I don’t know.” The
fear returned and a tremor began in my fingers, working its way up my arms and
into my spine.

“What are you
scared of?” he asked, his voice a whisper as he pressed a soft kiss to my damp
forehead.

“Them,” I breathed.
“They won’t allow it.”

A moment of
confusion crossed Teina’s face as he held me at arm’s length and studied me.
“Who?”

I pushed past him
and left the shower, almost breaking my neck on the slippery tiles. Teina
rinsed soap from his chest and shoved his head under the water while I snagged
a towel from the rail and covered my nakedness in a heightened flush of
embarrassment. The muscles covering his buttocks attracted my gaze as I dried
my face, using the towel to hide behind while I regained control. Teina stepped
from the shower onto the mat, naked and unashamed. He tugged at my towel,
making me giggle as he wiped his wet face on a corner of it and attacked me with
tickles and kisses.

We shared the towel
although he got the raw end of the deal after I’d dried myself on it. I
relented and fetched a clean one from the airing cupboard in the hall, watching
as he smoothed the fabric down his body. “I’ve never met anyone like you,” he
said, following me to the bedroom to dress. The rumpled bedding scratched
bloody wounds in my conscience and I cringed and sat down on the mattress to
avoid seeing it.

Teina’s trousers
slipped over his hips and he squinted to fasten the zipper. I swallowed and
dreaded his answer to my question. “What does that mean?”

He sat on the bed
next to me and pulled on his socks. “Everything about you is a paradox,” he
said. “You’re funny and crazy at the same time.” He pulled my face towards his and
kissed me. “You love with fearlessness and then get so terrified. I can’t work
you out.”

“Best not to try.”
I chewed my lip and reached for my discarded clothing, eying it before throwing
it at the laundry basket in the corner. Teina shrugged into his shirt and I
used his distraction with the buttons to dive into clean underwear and cover up
in jeans and a sweatshirt.

“Can I see you
again?” he asked, his tone light as he stroked a gentle finger along my nose
and over the swell of my lips.

I nodded, an
unconvincing action which made his brow furrow and his lips twitch. “You don’t
want to.” He sounded cut and I closed my eyes against his misery.

“It’s not that.
They won’t let me.”

His lips quirked.
“If I want to see you, I’ll see you,” he countered, his expression serious.

I felt my
temperature hike and an ugly flush creep up my chest and encroach on my neck.
“You’re not getting it,” I said, my teeth gritted. “I do as I’m told. If they
find out about this; I’ll be in massive trouble.”

Teina tutted and
drew my face into his chest. “Geez Ursula. Massive trouble with who?”

“Uncle Terry and
Dad.” My voice sounded muffled and he released the pressure on the back of my
head.

“Seriously? How old
are you?” I heard the scorn in his voice and knew my heart mirrored it. Anger
flowered and I gave his chest a shove, feeling the muscle tense beneath my
palm.

“Mind your own
business!” I snapped.

He nodded and took
a step backwards. “If you don’t want to see me again, you only have to say.”

“I do,” I groaned,
hiding my face behind shaking hands. “But you’ll never understand.”

Teina looked at his
watch and frustration burgeoned on his handsome, angular face. “I have to
leave, but I intend to keep seeing you. You said you weren’t affiliated to the
club anymore.”

I nodded, at the
same time grateful and terrified. “I lied. My father owns a half share of the
club.”

“Shit!” he
exclaimed and ran a hand through the dark wavy fringe. Then he laughed. “Ursula
Saint. Of course he does.”

I writhed my hands
in my lap and watched him finish dressing. “Uncle Terry acted as chairman last
year, but he doesn’t want to after...” I couldn’t say the words,
after his
son died and he blamed me
. “Dad’s chairman this season; while he still can.
The brothers all used to have a quarter each but Terry and Dad bought out the
others.”

Teina wrestled with
some inner demon and came to his own place of reckoning. “I don’t care,” he
said. His lips brushed mine before he laced up his shoes and afterwards too,
lingering as he tasted me and drew me in for more. I tried to read his face and
discovered I couldn’t; sensing something unpredictable and dangerous behind the
piercing brown eyes. “See you at All Saints later,” he whispered. My eyes grew
wide and I inhaled, but Teina placed a finger over my pursed lips. “I know, I
know. I’ll pretend I didn’t just spend the night in your bed, or that I want to
stay there for the rest of the weekend.” His smile looked sad as the mask of
bravado slipped and I read his face like an open book in the millisecond of
grace it afforded me. “I’ll talk to the convener and I won’t ref All Saints’
games again. Then there’s no conflict.”

I closed the door
behind Teina Fox with a frown and leaned against it, knowing I’d seen something
genuine in his eyes. It terrified me, promising hope while threatening heart
ache. “You should know better,” I told myself, tying my long curls back into a
pony tail. “People like you don’t end up with guys like him.”