All Over but the Shoutin' (28 page)

We made it to a block that the police had more or less secured. Some jackass television reporter tried to interview me, and I said no, I don’t think so. There were other people there who had been through the same thing, and they were black. In the dark, in their anger, people had thrown rocks at anything that moved. I was a little fuzzy-headed, but fine. I went looking for a phone, to call in the story.

It would not be much of a riot, by Miami standards, just that one night of anger. Once again black leaders like H. T. Smith, a prominent lawyer, stepped in and went neighborhood to neighborhood, calling for peace. This time it held, until the anger subsided to a low boil, which is about normal.

We found two rocks in the car, one beside my seat, the one that hit me. I put it in my pocket.

The next day I put it on my desk, as a paperweight, as a reminder.

T
he morning after, daylight revealed the old and new scars that covered Overtown and Liberty City, the burned-out and boarded-up hulks, vacant lots with a stub of a wall left standing, weeds where there used to be a store. I drove through the neighborhoods and tried not to be afraid anymore. Once, a man walked quickly out the front of a store and I jerked the wheel so hard I almost ran off the road. I had to remind myself that I was not weaving through a war zone but riding through a place where people lived. That was the story I tried to write for the next day’s paper with a young black woman named Janita Poe, who came down to help.

I remember the hopeless words of Willie R. Colman, who had moved to Overtown with his wife in 1968. He had seen black and non-black businesses leave because of the riots, rips in the fabric of Miami that were never mended.

“Why they going to come back?” asked Colman, a seventy-one-year-old retired construction worker. “Ain’t nothing to come back to but ashes.”

But it was the anger and hopelessness in the words of one young black man, an eighteen-year-old named Tony Fox, that I remember most. To him, rioting was a way to get even, to make people listen. He said he would trash and loot with others, because in his neighborhood blacks owned nothing. They just lived in the hot houses with the two-inch-long palmetto bugs, almost in sight of the condos of the more prosperous Hispanics who came to Miami and flourished, leaving black people behind. In their eyes, they had been subjugated by the old Crackers, and now they were subjugated again by people who were not even born there.

“It ain’t right. We ain’t got no money. That’s why they destroy the buildings. It’s a way to get even.”

T
his is a business, this journalism, that likes a good trend. We can examine it from four different directions and get some college professors to tell us what we ought to think, and we pass it on to the readers. Over the years, it became fashionable to talk about hope in Miami’s black community, about growth. There has been some.

The years of violent public reaction to injustice are over, one black leader promised. Miami burned for the last time, and only a little, that night Sean and I took our ride in the unfortunate Lois’s Toyota.

Sean Rowe and I were close friends for the time I spent in Miami. When I moved away we drifted apart, and when we did talk we seldom talked about that night. Men, especially where I was raised, don’t like other men to see them so afraid.

I kept the rock on my desk for a long time. One day I looked at it and just didn’t like remembering anymore, and dropped it in the trash can.

I
called Sean some time back, after years. I did not apologize for not calling sooner and he did not apologize for not calling me. I told him what I was writing about that night, and asked if I could read him what I had put down. I needed to know whether I had gotten it right. He listened, and told me he thought that, yes, it was right, it was true. But he said I was too tentative in what it might have turned into that night. “I have no doubt that, if they had ever gotten us out of that car, they would have killed us,” he told me. I guess so.

He told me some things I didn’t know. He told me he had kept the other rock we found in the car, as I had kept mine, as a morbid souvenir. And like me, one day he just didn’t like looking at it anymore, and he dropped it in the trash.

25
Eating life

S
ome places you exist. You live and die in Miami. In one month, when I was covering the place: a sixth-grader shot a homeless man over a slice of pizza; an Eckerd pharmacist shot and killed another pharmacist in the store; a trash hauler was shot in the spine when he refused to stop for a robber; a homeless man was doused with gasoline and set on fire; assorted tourists perished. I would drive to my stories on a pitch-black interstate, because the homeless and other poor like to strip the power lines for copper. On any given day, a hundred people stood in line for food in Bicentennial Park, in the lee of skyscrapers partially financed with cocaine money. I once rode around the city at night with a state law enforcement agent who stopped every few hours to call his wife and tell her he was alive. He made sure I knew how to use the pump 12-gauge before we pulled away from the curb. “We took a forty-five off a guy the other night. Six in the magazine, one in the chamber,” he said. It was one of those good days in paradise. No one was killed, not even a tourist.

You could whiz by it all, of course, with your windows rolled up tight, and whip into your gated community and pretend to be in Sarasota. Most people did. It was irrelevant that they lived in a city where the corpses in the morgue had bar codes on their toes, to keep up with them. I could have lived in Coral Gables with them, I guess, but that would be like tasting food without taking the Saran wrap off.

That one bad night in Overtown was with me for a long time. It still is, I guess. But I did not let it sour my love of Miami. If you were young, if you had any sense of adventure, then there was no better place in the whole world to live, to do what I did for a living. There were days when I would get my paycheck and laugh out loud, not because there was so much money, merely because they paid me at all.

I lived in Coconut Grove most of my time there, first in a concrete-block duplex where I lost three car stereos in the initial three months, then in a little house, on a less crime-ridden street, surrounded by giant oaks and palms and assorted crawling vines. The trees sang with birds, even parrots—escapees—and I forgot for long weeks to feel guilty about running even farther away from home. My momma worried about me in such a sinful place, but I assured her that, unless I forgot to put on my sunblock, I was just fine. Once, she sent my aunt Edna down to check on me, and I took her to a yard sale in the rich folks’ part of the Grove to throw her off the scent. We found some nice saltshakers.

I called my momma on Sundays and told her I was writing about the models on South Beach—and I actually did, once—and promised not to go anywhere near Cuba. I told her I was getting fat on chicken and yellow rice and croquetas de jamón, which is about as much fun as you can have with your clothes on. I told her I wrote about art shows, and forgot to mention that the only reason I went there was because a rabidly anti-Castro group had condemned the gallery operators as dung-eating communistas and planted a bomb. I told her I was in mad, never-ending love with this place, with the café con leche that was like melted Hershey bars, with the music, with the excitement. But I made sure that I made it sound like it couldn’t hurt me, unless I died of joy.

The truth was that I was elbow-deep in some of the darkest stories of my life. I spent long days under an Interstate overpass with homeless men and women who had created an alternative culture, with laws and punishments. They would gang up and beat a man if the accused was caught taking someone else’s stuff or messing with someone else’s mate. They had no court, just laws and punishment. Daytime existence was a constant merry-go-round of begging, napping and begging some more, for a dollar, a dime, a little attention.

They dreaded the setting sun. I talked to a thin man with a raggedy cat who said he went to sleep every night afraid some crackhead would crawl into a refrigerator box he called “my condominium” and cut his throat for pocket change. After midnight, as people gathered around big fires made from trash and tires, women who looked freshly dead filed into surrounding streets and Interstate exit ramps, selling sex for three dollars, one dollar, less. One woman offered herself in exchange for a ride in a car.

There were roving bands of homeless transvestites—six-foot-tall black men in blond wigs and high heels who slept on the ground—and an old man the other homeless called the Invisible Man because, in mid-conversation, he would just announce, “I am not here,” and pretend he was invisible. You could shout in his ear, but he stared straight ahead. Most people under that overpass were afraid of becoming invisible—many people already treated them as if they were—but he had embraced it.

Walking the shantytown, even in daylight, was like walking through some Baptist Bible Camp’s film show of hell. The dirt, pounded into powder, was dotted with evil-smelling mattresses. A skeletal man stared up at the trembling highway above him, still as marble. On another mattress, two teenage girls in their underwear, both pregnant, motioned to you, beckoned, offering.

A very normal-looking homeless man, Ed Washington, pulled back his blankets to show me a long, thin knife. He had never been hurt and he had never hurt anyone, “but the only reason it ain’t happened is the right fool just ain’t come along. Things happen here. Things you wouldn’t believe. There was this one guy got cut up real bad one time, and this cop comes up. He looks at the guy and says, ‘Look, if you die here it’s my problem.’ So the guy walks on down the road. We never did see that guy again.”

One man, Rollo Williams, had just become a father. “My woman had a baby here last week, the prettiest thing you ever saw. But I don’t know about keeping it. Not here. If I had a place I would. All I got is a box. But it is a pretty baby.”

There was a young man Alex Wright, a tall, thin guitar picker from California, cool as the other side of your pillow. He said he played for Carlos Santana once in San Francisco, but had to pawn his guitar. When I asked if he was homeless he seemed insulted. “I’m a musician, an artist. I’m not homeless, I’m just here until I get my guitar. I’m not homeless. I’m just camping out.”

They were the first thing the tourists saw when they exited the Interstate in the downtown: Welcome to paradise. Do you want your windshield washed? Sure you do.

But the closest to chaos I had ever been, except for that one bad night in Overtown, was in a little migrant workers’ town on the edge of the Everglades. In the mornings the legals and illegals queued up to beg for work. The crew bosses picked the strongest and the youngest and loaded them, a United Nations of cheap labor from Guatemala, Haiti, El Salvador, on death-trap buses that had a bad habit of running off into the canals. The bosses worked them for twelve hours, then sometimes neglected to pay them at all.

They lived somewhere outside the basic decencies of America. Babies came to the county health department with ant bites that looked like measles. Others came with TB. Then they just disappeared again as their migrant parents moved on, chasing the seasons, leaving doctors to wonder what ever happened to the sick children. Twelve men lived crammed into a trailer meant for two. Prostitution was allowed, out of mercy. There had to be some relief. The people, fresh from the rain forests and death squads and endless slums, did not mind it so much. The town was called Immokalee. It means “home.”

I got there as the season died, as the rains started to fall. The Haitians, who knew something about suffering and survival, had a beautiful phrase for it. The translation is not perfect, but the nut of it was: “The season of pain is never over until the sky begins to cry.” One night I sat in my car and watched a man stagger out of one bar—there was no name on the door, no sign, just a line of drunks inside—and begin cursing the air. He flicked open a pocketknife, waving it insanely through the air like a sodden Zorro, and then sat down in the dirt to weep into his hands.

Another man, a man named Gallo I found staggering dog drunk from a whorehouse, told me a joke. In it, he dies in the field and a crew boss tells his body to go back to work.

“But I am dead,” his spirit shouts down, from somewhere in the clouds.

“You cannot die,” the boss says.

“Why?” the spirit asks.

“Because God is too busy with the living,” the boss answers.

“Not in Immokalee,” the spirit says. “God don’t know where that is.”

But it is easy to write about suffering on that scale, because it is less personal. A story north of Miami, in Fort Lauderdale, tested my objectivity.

It was about a little boy named Dirty Red, who lived with his momma in a treeless, hopeless housing project just outside Lauderdale. His saga began on May 20, 1990, when a police car came and took him away for a dirty little crime he didn’t do. He was six, but the Broward County deputy said he had sexually assaulted a seven-year-old girl. They said he had poked her between her legs with a stick. All his momma could see of him as they drove away in the police car was the top of his head.

They fingerprinted him and took his mug shot, and scared him to death. Red just kept shaking his head, NO.

It would turn out to be a lie, the accusation, drummed up by a man who had sexually abused the little girl, but somehow the Broward deputies never bothered to come back and tell people in the housing project that Red was innocent, that it was all a mistake. The people in the project treated him like a pervert. They made him an outcast. Most of the children wouldn’t play with him, and chanted “Dirty Red, Dirty Red, Dirty Red,” whenever he walked by. Grown men slapped him when he came close.

His momma had started calling him “Dirty Red” long before that, but it was a good nickname then. She called him that because his skin had a red tint, and because he was always going out in the yard to play and getting dirty right after she gave him a bath. But after his arrest, the people turned it into something dirty, something mean, and the little boy, the one who roamed the project free as a bird and wrapped his momma’s dish rag around his head for a turban, was lost.