All of You (37 page)

Gigi and Stella sighed in dreamy unison.

“I actually thought about calling one of you last night…right before…” Kat shook her head. “I was so freaked out because I had no idea what to do or what the hell he was going to try to do to me…” The grin returned. “But it all worked out fine.”

“Well, I’m not even going to ask if you love him, because I see it all over your face,” Gigi said, a soft smile tugging at her lips. “And we all saw the way he was looking at you last night, so that answers that.”

“Did he tell you he loves you?” When Kat nodded, Stella did, too. “He told Nathan, too. Thursday night.”

“He did? Nathan didn’t mention that to me on the ride home,” Kat replied. Her eyes narrowed. “And you didn’t mention it to me, either.”

Stella rolled her eyes. “Yeah, well, I was sworn to secrecy. Which is why I pulled that stunt at the club last night. I needed you guys hooked up – and fast – before I exploded!”

They all laughed.

Gigi rubbed the back of Kat’s hand, studying her with a warm, bemused smile. “Danny and Kat, huh?” She nodded. “Yep. I can see it…in fact, I think you two might just be perfect for each other.”

Soul-zapping thoughts and insidious doubts suddenly tried busting into Kat’s brain, but she pushed them away as hard as she could.

Kat was happier than she’d ever been and she refused to lose that to logic and eventuality.

Not today.

“Fi is going to be so pissed she missed all this drama,” Stella said, grinning. “You know how she hates hearing about stuff after we all already know.”

Kat cringed. “Speaking of Fi, missing drama, and secrecy…” She inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. “Our apartment was broken into on Tuesday.” She shot Stella a look. “Nathan has known for a few days, but I made him promise not to say anything until I had a chance to talk to you. So don’t get pissed at him.”

Kat turned back to Gigi. “And I’m sorry for not telling you earlier, but I didn’t want you guys worrying. Danny made a report, cleaned up the mess, and let me stay with him that night.” Kat flushed, another stupid smile pulling at her lips. “That’s how it all got started.”

Stella huffed, eyes narrowed. But then a slow smile spread across her face. “Well, you’re lucky I’m so damn thrilled about your crazy sex last night or I’d be really pissed at you for keeping that from me.”

“What happened, Kat? You weren’t home, right? What was stolen? Are you okay to stay there?” Gigi’s voice and eyes were so full of concern that Kat felt doubly guilty about keeping it from her.

“No, I wasn’t home. They only took some of the electronics and made a huge mess of everything else,” Kat said. “I had the locks changed that night, so we’ll be perfectly safe from now on.”

“I’m assuming you haven’t told Nina, Fi, or Pops yet, either?” Stella asked.

“Uh, no. I’ll tell Fi when she gets home tomorrow and…” Kat shot Gigi an imploring look. “I’m hoping Gigi loves me enough to break it to Nina and Pops.”

Gigi sighed. “Yeah, I’ll tell them. And then I’ll send you bills for the therapy I’ll be needing afterwards.”

Nathan and Danny
managed to huddle up in a corner of the basement while the kids ran around and Pops and Marco watched a re-run of
Jeopardy
. The tour of the new water heater had taken all of five minutes, even with Nathan and Pops expounding on each feature like they were in a damn Home Depot showroom.

Danny felt agitated. Antsy. He was itching to get back to Kat.

No, scratch that. He wanted to get Kat home as soon as possible, because being close to her without being able to touch her was driving him slowly insane.

Nathan blew a raspberry on the hand Gia was trying to shove in his mouth. She laughed and tried again, squealing with joy when Nathan went crazy blowing raspberries against her palm.

Danny smiled, but it was forced. He rolled his shoulders, leaned his head back and forth, stretching his neck, and cracked his knuckles. He shot a quick glance over his shoulder at the staircase, wondering how much longer Kat would be.

“She’s not going anywhere, you know,” Nathan said dryly. He glanced at his watch. “And they shouldn’t be too much longer. Kat’s probably pretty damn close to reaching her interrogation threshold by now.”

Danny nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. He glanced over his shoulder, again, then back at Nathan, who was eyeing him, brow quirked. “
What?
”

Nathan lifted a shoulder. “Nothing, nothing. Just never thought I’d live to see the day, that’s all.” His lips curled slightly. “Daniel MacDonough…” Nathan brows dropped, head tilted. “What was it you called me? ‘Nauseatingly p-whipped?’”

“Well, you were. And
are
.”

“And you’re not?” Nathan snorted. “You were so puppy-dog eyed all through dinner, I half-thought you might start humping my leg.”

Danny covered Gia’s ears and whispered, “
Fuck. You
.”

Nathan grinned.

Danny grabbed the back of his neck, squeezed, and reflexively cast yet another look toward the staircase. “I’m about to just go up there and grab her,” he grumbled. “What the hell is taking so long, anyway?”

“Stella and Gigi, that’s what.” Nathan shifted Gia to his other arm and tried dodging her face-smacks. “If they had their way, this little pow-wow would go on for a week.” He shrugged. “Although, in their defenses, all this with you and Kat
is
very sudden. You two didn’t say two words to each other at dinner last week and then you show up today all in love. Her sisters are bound to have a million questions.”

Danny huffed. “They ever heard of eff-ing email? Or texting?”

Nathan laughed. “Man, you got it bad, brother.” He shook his head, smile fading. “Eff-ing sucks, doesn’t it?”

Danny nodded miserably. “When does it get better? When does it…” Danny rolled his shoulders again. “I don’t know…wear off, I guess?”

“Hell, if I know. It’s been eighteen months and I’m still waiting.”

Danny groaned.

“Hey, Uncle Nathan, put Gia down,” Gabby called over. “We’re going to get out the Duplos for her.”

Nathan set Gia down and she crawled away like hell on wheels, heading toward where her cousins were dumping out a bucket of plastic building blocks. “Make sure there aren’t any small pieces in there, okay, Gabs?” Nathan watched Gia playing like a hawk. “I can’t stand letting her out of my sight,” he muttered. “So afraid she’s going to stick something in her mouth or bang her head on something.” He exhaled a hard breath, crossing his arms over his chest. “I wish I could hold her forever. Or wrap her up in some damn bubble wrap, at least.”

Danny scoffed. “This coming from a guy who didn’t want kids.”

“Yeah, well, shit changes, doesn’t it?” Nathan watched Gia play, a tiny smile curling his lips. “And thank God for that, brother…” He met Danny’s eyes, his own so full of emotion. “Thank God for that.”

As Nathan walked away to watch over Gia, Danny thought about what he’d said.

Which brought him right back to all the long, scary, heartbreaking years they’d spent together in those foster homes and state juvenile facility.

The years of never bothering to unpack their bags because there was no way of knowing how long they’d live someplace. The not knowing what wolves they might be thrown to next and if they’d be worse or better than the ones they were currently fighting off. The not having enough to eat, a bed to sleep in, or any type of physical or emotional affection for days, weeks, months, years.

The loneliness. The fear. The certainty that, if things didn’t get better, you
would
kill yourself, if only to end the nightmarish cycle of deprivation, isolation, and abuse.

Danny was pretty sure Nathan had never once considered suicide, but Danny had.

And he’d attempted it a lot of different ways, a hundred different times.

No loaded guns, handfuls of pills, bridges, or knives…just lots of alcohol, narcotics, indiscriminate sex, and reckless behavior.

The slow path to suicide hadn’t ended the day he walked out of New Beginnings Home for Boys and into his last foster home, either. Danny had earned his independence, educated himself, and entered into a well-respected profession, but the never-ending cycle of self-destruction had only continued. Worsened even, because, once he became an adult, the shit he did was considered acceptable. No one other than Nathan had ever really noticed or cared, anyway, so Danny had never had any reason to even think about changing.

Or had the balls to wonder if change was even possible.

Danny cast another long look at the staircase, suddenly overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy, doubt, and the painful knowledge that Kat deserved so much better…and that one day – maybe even today – she’d most certainly realize it.

And then what?

‡

K
at didn’t quite
know what to make of Danny’s sudden mood change. He’d been fine before they’d all gone down to Pops’ basement, but, by the time he’d come up half an hour later, Danny had seemed different somehow.

Reserved. Distant. Sort of cold.

He’d smiled at her amiably enough upon his return, but he hadn’t touched her. Or stood by her. Or sat by her.

Danny had definitely been keeping his distance, choosing to talk to everyone but her, and that had Kat all turned around.

She briefly wondered if Marco or Nathan had said something negative to him, but quickly dismissed that thought. Kat knew Nathan was fine with their relationship and Marco would never be so unkind or judgmental as to interfere when it was obvious Kat was happy.

She glanced over at Danny leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest as he talked to Stella, and foolishly willed him to look at her.

Smile at me.

Come stand by me.

Touch me.

But, he didn’t.

“We should go, Stella,” Nathan said, carrying a writhing, fussy Gia into the living room. “This baby is tired. And I’ve gotta go home and get ready for work.”

As soon as she saw Stella, Gia extended her arms and Stella took her. “Oh, come here,
tesora mia
.” Stella held Gia, kissing her cheek and rocking back and forth. “
Shhh…
”

Gia quickly settled down, burying her face into Stella’s neck and closing her eyes.

Stella glanced at Nathan. “Wanna grab the stuff, hon?”

Nathan and Stella’s departure was everyone else’s cue to gather shoes and coats and say their good-byes, too. Kat watched Danny grab their coats out of the closet.

When he turned and walked toward her, Kat met his eyes, hoping his coldness had been all in her head.

It wasn’t.

The smile Danny gave her was tight, at best, and the way he slipped on her jacket from nearly two feet away wasn’t very comforting, either.

Kat knew he wasn’t angry with her – why would he be? Plus, he didn’t seem angry or irritated, anyway. Danny seemed more…rattled, maybe? Shaken?

Kat wondered again what went on down there. She considered asking Stella to interrogate Nathan and get to the bottom of things, but, by the looks of fussy baby, that would take a while and Kat kind of wanted to know now.

Which means you’ll just have to ask him yourself, wimp.

Except touchy-feely stuff wasn’t really Kat’s forte. And confrontational touchy-feely stuff was akin to torture. She was also more than a little anxious about what his answer would be.

After they’d said their good-byes, Danny helped Kat into the passenger side of his car before sliding in behind the wheel. They drove in total silence…no noise in the car except the blasting of heat through the vents.

About three quarters of the way to Kat’s house (yes, she’d noticed he’d headed there instead of his place), Danny cleared his throat and spoke. “Fi’s home tomorrow, huh?”

Kat nodded. “Yeah, I think her flight gets in sometime in the afternoon.”

She clutched her purse even tighter to her midsection and stared out the passenger side window, willing the muscles in her throat and the knots in her stomach to loosen a bit – preferably before she turned into one tightly-wound, giant pretzel.

“You’re probably looking forward to that. Must be lonely at the apartment all by yourself,” Danny said evenly. Kat looked over at him and he turned to meet her eyes, the corner of his mouth pulling up. “I guess you haven’t been alone too often, though, right? Between your family, Ben, the club…” His faded smile pulled tight again as his eyes searched hers. “Oh, and me bugging you every second.”

And then Kat saw it.

Heard it in his voice.

Read it in his stiffened body language.

Danny wasn’t angry or irritated. He wasn’t second-guessing anything and he wasn’t pushing her away.

He was just feeling very, very insecure about where they stood.

Kat didn’t know if what was going on in his head had been prompted by something that had happened downstairs or not, but whatever it was had gotten to him good.

Of course, Kat understood his feelings entirely. She was nowhere near feeling settled about what had gone down between them, especially since nothing had been discussed and no plans had been made.