All of Me (All Series Book 2) (7 page)

“You have to explain that.”

So much for him always understanding her. Of course, no one knew but her in regards to this. “Another time. Let’s go back to being friends for now. It’s a start, right?” She couldn’t tell him about her fear of being the rebound girl. He wouldn’t understand.

“If it’s the best I can get, I guess I’ll take it. Can you answer one question for me?”

“Depends on the question,” she said, smiling at him.

“What do you want?”

“What do you mean?”

“I want to know what you’re looking for. What do you want in a relationship? What do you want out of a guy?”

She froze. Not what she expected him to ask. “Does it matter?”

“Of course it does.”

“It doesn’t matter if you know or not. Or anyone for that matter. Either the person has it or he doesn’t. They have to have it
in
them, not be told what it is I want. Otherwise, I’ll never know if it’s true or not.”

“That makes no sense at all,” he said, frustrated.

“Did you expect any different?”

“Actually, yes. You’ve always been good at throwing out hints and never giving all the answers, but I’ve always seemed to understand what you were saying.” He shook his head and put a dangerous smirk on his face. “But I’ll get it out of you.”

“Is that a threat?” she asked, falling back into teasing and trying to push the seriousness away.

Her eyes grew wide when he reached over and placed his hand on her cheek, lowering his mouth to hers. What a wonderful mouth he had. All the memories of that night flashed through her brain, clouding her judgment as his lips moved over hers. Involuntarily her mouth opened and he swooped in, tasting her, and pulling her in.

Minutes dragged by. Finally lifting his head, he whispered, “It’s a fact.”

Closing the door behind him ten minutes later, she rested against it and groaned. Tonight did not go as well as planned.

Seriously though, what was she supposed to say when he asked her what she wanted? Was she supposed to say, “I want someone who wants all of me, for me? Not just my name, or my job, my looks, my brains or my connections. Just me, all of me, for me and for no other reason.”

He had to want her for that, without being told. Otherwise it was meaningless. She’d never know if it was truly her he wanted, or who he wanted her to be.

Remember Everything

Phil rolled over and opened his eyes. A tender look spread across his face as he extended a hand out and lightly traced his fingertips along a smooth thigh, over her hips, up her waist and cupped her breast—overfilling his hand.

Feeling her body come alive again, he shifted closer, trailing his lips along her collarbone and under her ear. His tongue came out to trace her lobe, then pulled it in by his teeth.

Her deep moan fueled the fire within him. Scooting closer, he pressed the length of his body to hers. He had to touch her, had to feel all of her.

Pushing her blonde hair away from her face and affectionately tucking it behind her ear, he whispered, “You’re so beautiful.”

She turned toward him, ran her hand down his whiskered jaw, moved her mouth closer to his and captured his lips with hers. Devouring him greedily, her hands moving faster, traveling the length of his body. Grasping him tight, stroking him softly. He moaned deep in his throat.

Beep, beep, beep
. “Shit.” Phil rolled over and hit his alarm clock, then flopped on his back staring at the ceiling. How many times was he going to remember that night and the next morning with Sophia?

He threw the covers back and stood up, sporting a pretty massive hard-on.
Looks like another cold shower.

Something was going to have to change soon. At least he was making progress. But that kiss Saturday brought everything back to the surface from that night three months ago.

The way she felt in his arms, her body next to his, every moan, groan and shout that came out of that gorgeous mouth of hers.

He’d thrown the gauntlet down—he knew that—by telling her he would get what she wanted in a relationship out of her. And he would. He could be as stubborn as the next guy if he wanted to be. He wanted her more than anything. Sophia was worth it.

Two hours later, Alec walked into his office with two coffees and a box of donuts in his hand. “You look like hell. Rough night?”

Reaching over, Phil grabbed one of the coffees out of Alec’s hand, set it down and then snatched the box of donuts and opened the top. Pulling out two, he set one on the desk and took a huge bite out of the other. “No. Just a lot on my mind. What’s the occasion?” he asked, holding up the coffee and tilting it toward Alec before taking a sip.

“I figured I owed you for going to Sophia’s on Saturday. So what was wrong? Who do I need to lay into for not doing his job right?”

Phil cringed. He didn’t want anyone to get in trouble. But he wasn’t going to let Alec know what caused the leak either. No need for anyone else to be aware of it. Alec would only bust her about it, not that Sophia would care. Still, he felt it was the least he could do. She did make dinner for him after all. He’d keep her little secret for now. “The washer ring on the hose was stripped. Must have been a freak thing. Easy enough fix,” he said casually.

“Okay, makes sense.” Alec dove into the box and pulled out a donut at random. “So how’s she doing?”

“Who?”

“Sophia,” Alec said confused. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing. I’m just tired.” There was no way in hell he was telling his brother what was going on with Sophia. First off, he wasn’t sure what
was
going on. Second of all, he wouldn’t be saying anything without talking to Sophia first.

“Are you sure?” Alec looked at him more thoughtfully.

Sometimes being a twin sucked. Phil had never been able to fool his brother. He knew Alec had been concerned with him at different points during his relationship with Linda, but held his tongue. And he appreciated that Alec did that. But in the last several months, Alec had decided to stop holding back. “I’m sure. I don’t bug you when you come in looking like hell.”

“That’s because I never do. I sleep like a baby. Nothing bothers me,” Alec said grinning like a fool.

Unfortunately for Phil, Alec always did sleep like a baby. And nothing ever did seem to ruffle his feathers. “Then get back to work, because I’ve got a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it.”

“Geez, don’t be so cranky. Maybe you should have some warm milk before bed tonight. I bet Mom would come over and make it for you, then tuck you in and read you a story.”

Phil laughed but still picked up a piece of paper, crinkled it up, and chucked it at Alec. One handed, Alec caught it and tossed it back, landing it right on Phil’s second donut.

***

After work on Tuesday, Sophia pulled into the garage, shut the car off, grabbed her briefcase from the passenger seat and climbed out. Opening the door to the mudroom that led to the back door, she came to a standstill.

In front of her were three trays of flowers. All different colors, shapes, and sizes, in varying stages of bloom, perking up the little room.

Placing her briefcase on the floor, she bent down and lifted the card lying on top. Hesitantly, she ran her nail under the edge, opened it up, pulled out a piece of paper, unfolded it and read.
I know you wanted to start off slow. Let me know if you want a hand with these. Phil.

Wow. Talk about sweet. And so typical of Phil—always finding a way to make another person smile. He knew how much she loved plants. Well, everyone knew that. But he remembered how she had always said she wanted to plant flowers outside in the spring and watch them bloom all summer long. That she couldn’t wait to have a place of her own and a little bit of yard to work in.

She held the letter close to her chest for a few moments, crouched down and touched a few of the flowers, running her fingertip over their petals.

Excitedly, she jumped up, grabbed her briefcase and dashed into the house. She couldn’t wait to get her laptop out and research everything he picked out. She had to know everything about them. Which ones needed sunlight, which ones needed more water and so on.

First she had to make a call. He picked up on the first ring. “Thank you,” she said, a huge smile filling her face. If she looked in the mirror right now she would bet her eyes were glossy, too.

“You’re welcome.”

“I can’t believe you remembered.”

“I remember everything,” he said softly.

No doubt, there was a double meaning there. “Are you still working?” she asked, hearing him chuckle. She knew he was on to her.

“I’m finishing up a few things. Hopefully no more than thirty minutes if I’m lucky.”

Before she could think better of it, she asked, “Do you have plans for dinner?”

“No.”

She wasn’t sure, but it sounded like there was some anticipation in his voice. “I’ve got more salad left over,” she offered, teasing.

“A salad sounds perfect.”

Smirking, she amended, “I wouldn’t torture you like that. Besides, you ate the rest of my steak. How about pizza instead?”

“Even better,” he said cheerfully.

“Well then, you can pick it up on your way,” she said. “I’ll place an order. Tell me where.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll order and get it. I promise no more than an hour.”

“An hour?” she said incredulously, though she added a hint of humor to it. “You just said thirty minutes. Now you’re telling me I’m being pushed back to an hour.”

“Forty-five minutes tops,” he stated.

“Deal.”

Hanging up the phone, she had enough time to change, take a quick shower and run down the road to the liquor store for a bottle of wine and grab some beer.

Now she needed to figure out what the heck she was going to do about Phil. Her time was running out. She couldn’t leave him hanging and didn’t want to either.

In all honesty, she didn’t think she could wait much longer. Not after that kiss on Saturday night. But they needed to come to terms on what they really had, or where they were going. Lay the groundwork.

She’d had all these expectations in her mind when it came to Phil and their relationship. Now she was so confused and had to reconcile her thoughts before she could proceed mentally.

Believed Him

Sophia opened the door to Phil almost forty-five minutes later. “Right on time.”

“I was afraid to be late,” he said with a trace of the dry humor she always loved from him.

“What, you aren’t afraid of me, are you?” she asked, batting her eyelashes.

“You don’t really think I’m going to answer that, do you? Even I know better than to give up any advantage.”

“What advantage is that?” she asked, following him to the kitchen where she’d already placed dishes on the kitchen island along with his favorite beer next to a glass.

He eyed the beer, then turned his attention back to her and put a smile on his face. “You won’t tell me what you want out of a relationship.” He kissed her briefly on her pouting lips. “I won’t tell you any advantages.”

The kiss threw her for a loop. But it felt nice just the same. Maybe this could be okay. The laid-back bantering they always had, mixed in with a little romance, alongside some sexual tension and flirtation. She would have to play it out some more.

Right now, though, she was hungry. “What kind of pizza did you get?” She pulled the box out of his hand and set it in front of the plates, then opened the top. “Mushroom,” she said appreciatively. She didn’t miss that the other half was pepperoni. He got points for that, splitting it the way he did.

He grabbed the bottle opener she laid next to his beer, opened it and poured. Holding the glass up to her, he said, “I’ll give this one away. Some advantages to knowing each other so well.”

“Very true.” For the heck of it, to throw him off, she reached up and gave him a little kiss on the lips too. He didn’t seem as startled by her action. If anything, the look of warmth he gave her had her heart racing for a whole different reason.

“Let’s eat while it’s still warm,” he suggested, pulling out a slice with mushroom and setting it on her plate, and one of the pepperoni for his. “So how was your day?” She suppressed the urge to giggle, but he saw. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Tell me,” he encouraged.

What the hell. “It just sounded so domestic. ‘Honey, how was your day?’”

He chuckled. “I guess.”

“Is that how you were with Linda?”

She couldn’t miss the change that came over him and regretted even bringing it up. But she wanted to know. Not everything, but parts. She needed to know to help her understand. There was no way she was telling him about her aversion to being the rebound girl. It couldn’t be avoided now. She
was
that girl. All she could do was try to keep control of the situation, if that was even possible. “Sorry.”

“No. It’s fine. Old news. It’s not like you didn’t know about my relationship with her. Or that she hasn’t changed much, based on the dinner last week.”

“As much as I find myself curious what finally broke you two up, I will refrain from asking details. It’s none of my business. And I apologize for the question. It actually came out without thought.” She took a sip of her wine and tried to form the next sentence in her head. “I can only explain it as letting myself lapse back into what we had before. That would have been a normal question in the past.”

“Don’t apologize. I want you to be like you were before with me. I want that connection back between us. That means you don’t have to guard what you say. You didn’t before and I don’t want you to again.”

He threaded his fingers through hers. “There are things that happened between Linda and me that are better left unsaid. The truth of the matter is, she wasn’t the person I thought she was. I suspect she felt the same way about me somewhere along the line, too.”

“Okay. I’ll accept that. I know there is more. I’ll be honest, because we’ve always been honest with each other. I don’t like to lie to anyone. Not saying I haven’t, or won’t, but I don’t like to. And I don’t want to lie to you. But it was pretty obvious she still wants to get back together with you.”

She held her breath, hoping he took that comment for what it was worth and offered her something. Anything that would make her believe there was no chance of him and Linda getting back together. Deep down she knew it, but she needed it confirmed.

“She does. She has been very obvious about it, and persistent. Just as clear as I have been about it not happening. If it makes you feel any better, I can tell you right now, there is no chance in hell I will have anything to do with Linda ever again.”

His tone, his mood, and his demeanor all took on a note of something dangerous. Almost dark. Something she had never witnessed from him before. And she believed him.

***

“Do you want some help planting your flowers?” he asked her after they both had eaten their fill and the leftovers were wrapped up. Pepperoni for him to take home, mushroom for her left in the fridge.

“I guess I could use some help,” she said coyly.

“So I’m making it past the second chance date?” He fought back his laugh when she choked on her wine. Sometimes knowing each other so well might not be the best thing, at least in her eyes.

When she was done coughing, she said, “I guess so.”

He knew all about her second chance dates. She had a rule that every person deserved a second chance. He never knew why, and never really asked. But plenty of instances she would tell him about the horrendous first dates she went on and then told him she would schedule a second one.

It made no sense to him at all. Really, the only thing he thought of at the time she brought them up was that he was glad he wasn’t on the dating scene. The thought of the things she encountered would be enough to make him go into seclusion.

“I can work around your schedule,” he offered.

“That’s nice, but I’m pretty swamped this week still. They’re getting plenty of light in the mudroom, and I’ll keep them watered. I’m thinking sometime this weekend. I’m flexible if you have plans.”

“I can be available for whenever you want me.” He didn’t miss the dilation of her eyes at that statement, the double meaning reaching her.

She nodded her head, then placed her empty glass of wine on the table. Her second and last one, she’d said earlier. And here it comes, he thought. “We need to figure out where we go from here,” she said, looking in his eyes and holding his stare.

“Do you need it in writing?” he asked, trying to make light of the situation. It wasn’t funny to him, but he didn’t see the need to plan it all out either.

“Of course not.” She smiled back at him. “I guess I need some guidelines. We keep talking about the way we were before, and about moving forward. What are we? Friends, dating, something in between?”

“We will always be friends. I think it’s more than dating. It’s way beyond that for me, at least. It always was, if you want to be honest. I asked you before what you wanted from someone out of a relationship. I understand not wanting to lay it all on the table, but I need to ask if you even want to be in a relationship right now?”

He watched her eyes wander over his face. Then she reached up and placed her hand on his cheek, gave him a soft caress, then dropped her hand away. That action, the softness in her, all those things he longed to see directed toward him filled him with emotions deeper than he thought possible. “I want to be in one, yes. But I don’t want to lose your friendship. You mean a lot to me. Your whole family does. I’m unsure of where to go, or how to handle this if something goes wrong.”

Those thoughts had crossed his mind also, but then he brushed them aside. He wasn’t looking for something to go wrong, not when he had been waiting for this for what seemed like forever. He refused to even consider the possibility of it.

It wasn’t the time to say that, not yet anyway. “You will never lose my friendship. Or my family. There is no worry there. Whatever happens to us, I will always be there for you, Sophia. I can promise you that.”

Her eyes watered and a gentle expression crossed her face. “Thank you for that. Your family means the world to me. You know enough about my family life to know I’ve never had anything stable before. I don’t want to risk losing the one stable family in my life.”

“You won’t.” He pulled her off her barstool until she was standing between his legs and held her close, his arms wrapped tightly around her, trying to reassure her.

A moment later she sat back down. “I’ll make the same promise to you.” She picked up her napkin and blotted her eyes, then laughed. “Great, you’ve seen me cry on only our second date. That’s a wonderful impression.”

He chuckled. “We aren’t dating,” he reminded her. “I’ve seen you do more than cry.”

There was no way to miss the shiver that ran through her body with that statement. “So you have.”

Before he got sidetracked, because he really wanted to address that comment, he had one more thing. “We need to tell my family.”

That got her attention fast. “So soon?”

“Yes. Hear me out,” he said when she started to speak again. “Kaitlin didn’t tell us about Ryan for almost a month. It was hard to accept that she had been dating him without anyone’s knowledge. My parents were hurt by it, but they never let on.”

She nodded. “Not everyone would accept it, and Kaitlin knew that going in.”

“We all accepted it. From the moment she told us. She had worried for nothing. My parents adored Ryan; he was one of the family.”

“Your brothers didn’t feel that way.”

“Don’t let them fool you. Alec was more hurt that Ryan kept it from him. They’ve always been close.”

“Not Ben,” she pointed out. “I know Ben gave Ryan a hard time for months.”

“Ben is Ben, and everyone knows how close he and Kaitlin are. But he came around too. Besides, that situation was different. Ryan didn’t have the best reputation with women, and we were all very protective of Kaitlin.”

“You still are,” she said, teasing him.

“True. Regardless, my parents would be thrilled about us. Are you afraid of Kaitlin’s reaction?”

“Honestly, no. I think she will be happy for both of us. I’m more afraid of if things go wrong between us. Kaitlin means the world to me. I don’t want to lose any of that.”

“Stop looking for problems that may never happen. Let’s take it one day at a time.” He hated to bring this up, but he had to. No use putting it off. “Besides, I think Ben knows about what happened after the wedding.”

“What?” she shrieked. “How?”

He flinched. “It’s Ben. Ben always knows everything. I’m not positive. Maybe it’s my imagination, but I’ve gotten some looks from him lately. Just odd looks, at odd times that make me feel guilty.”

“Like what?”

“Like the day Kaitlin and Cori announced their pregnancies. Did you notice that Ben looked at me when he asked if anyone else had an announcement to make?”

“No,” she said, drawing out the word.

“Yes. Then, since you’ve been in town he has made a few comments about you in passing. Nothing major, but they all had double meanings to them. I can’t put my finger on it, but if he doesn’t know, he at least suspects.”

“Okay. I’m going to try to block that out. I don’t want your family to know about that night.”

“Why? It’s not a night I’m likely to ever forget,” he added with a little smile, but then said more seriously, “Or the morning after.”

“I
really
want to forget that.”

“Accidents happen, Sophia. I will tell you because I want to clear the air…I didn’t appreciate you not answering my calls afterward. Maybe you would like to tell me why you didn’t?”

Squirming on the stool, she finally answered. “I didn’t know yet. And I was trying to block it all out. Phil, I was stressed. You can’t imagine how I felt. I’ve never had unprotected sex, or ever had a condom break before. And here I am having drunken sex with some guy when it happens.”

“Some guy?” That got his hackles up. “We were far from drunk on top of it.”

“Don’t take it personally. I didn’t mean it that way. I’m just saying that I wasn’t due to even get my period—” She paused when he cringed. “Sorry, you better get used to it, hearing about girly functions, if we’re in a relationship,” she added with a little giggle.

“Sorry, men cringe over that. But go on.”

“I wasn’t due to get my period yet. Then when I was due, I was a few days late,” she said looking away from him.

“And you didn’t think that was something I wanted to know?” He felt the frustration rising more and tried to block it out, but it was hard.

“Phil, I’ve never been regular before. A few days late
is
the norm for me. I told myself I would give it five days max before I took a pregnancy test. On the fourth day I knew I wasn’t pregnant. Between the stress of what happened that night, my promotion and the move, there was so much going on in my life. I told you the very next day.”

He thought back to when he saw her at Ryan and Kaitlin’s when Kaitlin made her pregnancy announcement, followed by Cori’s, and how he had barely heard a word of it. Because, minutes before, he was breathing a sigh of relief to know
he
wasn’t going to be a father too.

She had looked pale that day, shaken herself, but underneath it all, relieved. It made sense thinking back to the timeline of it all. Breaking through his thoughts, she added, “I was scared, Phil. I was wrong to avoid you, and the situation, but beneath it all, I was terrified.”