All of Me (12 page)

Jake studied him with measured intensity. “Does she know that?”

“It was her idea.”

Jake opened his mouth as if he wanted to say more, but shook his head instead and rose from his seat. He walked to the steps and turned. “Tell her about Laura. She deserves to know.”

Alec stared out at the yard, barren and waiting to be landscaped, until night fell and the mosquitoes started biting.

What had started out as an impromptu powwow about Lacey’s wedding had evolved into drinking wine in Adirondack chairs on the beach and laughing themselves silly. Faith leaned back in her chair and sighed into the night. This was perfect. Together with two new friends, a good Chianti—not that she would know if it were a bad one—and laughter. Her stomach hurt from the hysterics, but it was a good ache.

A gentle, moist breeze blew in off the ocean, bringing the scent of salt and brine. The seagulls had grown quiet. The only sound was her friends’ fading laughter and the crush of waves on the beach.

Faith’s phone vibrated in her pocket as she took another sip of wine. She quickly pulled it out and stared at the screen, both excited and frustrated to see the text was from Alec. Excited because she hadn’t heard from him since her admission on the beach a few nights ago, and frustrated because the message wasn’t from her parents.

I want to see you tonight.

That was it. Nothing else. Was he going to make it official and end things? Without the knock-her-off-her-feet kiss he had promised?

“You look disappointed,” Mia said.

Faith glanced up to find both Mia and Lacey staring at her. “Alec texted that he wants to see me tonight.”

“Why is that disappointing?” Mia asked, her soft voice barely registering over the waves.

Faith wanted to talk to them, the way normal friends did with each other. Share both joy and troubles. But opening up to people was hard for her, especially after the way Alec had reacted when she’d taken a chance with him.

“I think he might break up with me.” It shouldn’t hurt so much. They’d barely gotten off the ground. Yet she liked him. A lot. His humor was dry and sarcastic, his mind sharp. Their conversations never lagged. And then there was the kissing . . .

“Why do you say that?” Lacey wanted to know, sitting forward in her chair to pat Faith’s knee. The touch didn’t create anything like the heat Alec instilled, but it was comforting.

“A few nights ago he found me on the beach. We talked for a while and I told him a few things about my family. He was pretty angry after, so I went back to the guesthouse. This is the first I’ve heard from him since then.”

Mia and Lacey shared a look before Lacey spoke. “None of us are strangers to family issues. It couldn’t have been that bad.”

Faith chewed over the idea of whether to confide in them, and decided to go for broke. Maybe the girls would understand better than Alec. She gave them a version of what she’d told Alec and then took a sip of wine to cool her throat.

“The thing is,” Faith said, “it never bothered me how detached my parents were until I came here. Well, it bothered
me a little. Honestly, I don’t think I even noticed how bad it was until I met you guys.” She looked at both women, who stared at her intently. “I shouldn’t have told Alec.”

Mia shook her head. “I’m glad you did. Even if you guys aren’t in a serious relationship, you should be honest.”

“He was so angry, though.”

“Of course he was,” Lacey said. “I’m angry. That’s a terrible thing to do to a child.”

It never crossed Faith’s mind that Alec’s anger might be directed at her parents. She thought he was mad at her for saying too much or perhaps feeling sorry for herself. Maybe he wasn’t going to end things. Was it too much to hope for that he just wanted to see her? Her heart rate accelerated at the thought.

“My mama was the same way with Ginny.” Mia set her wine aside and straightened. “She just never formed a bond with her. I tried to make up for it, but I think Ginny knew.”

“Ginny had you,” Lacey said before returning her gaze to Faith. “Who did you have?”

Faith tried to rub away the pressure in her chest, but it didn’t work. “I had Hope. Every treatment and surgery was worth it to have her as long as I did.” They didn’t look convinced. “I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. I just wish my parents felt something toward me, too, you know?” Ashamed to find tears in her eyes, she swiped them away angrily. “It doesn’t matter. I’m here now and starting over.”

“Good for you,” Mia affirmed with a nod.

“And you have us.” Lacey reached for her hand and squeezed. After a moment, she sat back in her chair. “I always wanted friends. Real friends.”

Mia nodded. “I wanted the stability of friends. It just never happened until . . . I came home.” She looked back at the house behind them and smiled.

Home. Faith always thought of home as her parents’ house, but maybe home wasn’t there. Maybe she had yet to find it. “What do you think I should tell Alec?”

Mia shrugged. “That depends. Do you want to see him?”

Lacey laughed. “That smile on your face says yes. Do it, Faith. Have a glorious hot affair and enjoy your summer. Who knows, maybe something will come from it.”

Dangerous thinking, that. To view their relationship as anything more than two ships passing in the night would only give her a broken heart. Alec himself had said he couldn’t do more. They lived in separate states, had very different lives. No, Alec wasn’t long term. But she would enjoy her brief time with him.

She unlocked her phone and thumbed out a text.

*   *   *

The moment Faith opened the door and Alec saw her, he knew his suspicions were right on the mark. He felt differently about her than he had about anyone in a long time. More so, if he dug deep enough into his memory. She chased away the dark. And somehow, since he’d known her, his writing had grown stronger.

Yet she acted like she could take him or leave him. Faith may have seemed aloof, but he suspected that under the surface there was strength and heart. Right next to insecurity and uncertainty. In fact, she seemed like someone hell-bent on taking care of herself, but failing.

That did funny things to his chest.

She gestured him inside, but he stayed rooted to the spot, taking in the sight of her. If he’d texted any other woman and said he was coming over, they’d be wearing ten pounds of makeup, high heels, and nothing else. That wasn’t arrogance on his part, just stone-cold truth. Women wanted his money, his fame, or his body. No in-betweens or exceptions.

And then there was Faith. A haphazard ponytail left wisps of brown hair around her face. The loose cotton shorts and white tee she wore shouldn’t be sexy. The lamplight behind her hid most of her freckles, but he still wanted to kiss each one, strip her to see if she had more. And where.

“Hi,” he forced out.

“Hello. Are you going to come inside or should we talk through the doorway?”

The last thing he wanted to do was talk. He crossed the threshold and fit his lips over hers, reaching out and tugging her flush against his chest. And damn, the spark wasn’t a fluke. The same heat and need flared to life. Consumed.

Tightening his hold on her, he lifted her enough to back her away from the entry and kicked the door shut, all the while keeping his mouth fused to hers. He spun her around and pressed her back against the door, planting his palms on either side of her head. If he kept his hands off her, he could stop this before the house went up in flames. Probably.

Faith didn’t get the memo. Her fingers drove into his hair and tugged. Her tongue warred with his for dominance and he was damn tempted to let her win. Just for the hell of it. To let himself be conquered for once.

When one of her legs snaked around his hips, drawing his jean-clad erection snug against the apex of her thighs, he groaned and rested his forehead against hers. Tried to breathe. “You’re a sleeper,” he mumbled, head still somewhere in the vicinity of that kiss.

“Sleeper?” she breathed.

God, that voice of hers got to him in ways he couldn’t possibly explain. “Yeah. A sleeper. You seem all reserved and calm on the surface, lying in wait until the moment of initiation, and then you strike.”

Her amber eyes lifted to his, her dilated pupils telling him she was just as affected. “That was a compliment, right?”

He laughed and dropped a kiss on her shoulder.
Smelled so good
. “Yes, that was a compliment.” He’d come over here for something other than this, hadn’t he? He couldn’t seem to remember.

“So, you’re not breaking up with me?”

He ceased his nibbling on the tendon in her neck and looked at her. Just as he suspected. Insecurity shone in her
eyes, not needy attention-seeking manipulation. “Why would I do that?”

She shrugged, one of her hands still fisted in his hair. “You were mad out on the beach when I talked about . . .”

As she trailed off, he stared, wondering how to put into words the emotions she’d brought out in him with her admission a few nights back. He shouldn’t care. If they were nothing more than a summer fling, he shouldn’t care.

She blinked slowly. “You wanted to know about my past. I don’t talk about it very often, mostly because no one’s asked before, but . . .”

She was killing him. “There’s no excuse for what your parents did. You should never feel bad for being put on the back burner because of someone else’s faults. You hear me, Faith?”

Her head tilted, taking in his words. “Lacey was right. You’re mad at my parents, not me.”

She talked about him with Lacey? That was a good sign that she thought about him half as much as he did her.

Her hands dropped to his chest. “I don’t . . .”

“You don’t what?”

“I don’t think anyone’s been mad on my behalf before.”

Killing him dead.

He sucked in a breath and suddenly remembered why he came over. She’d never been to the beach before Mia and Cole hired her, which made it likely she hadn’t traveled at all. “Come with me to New York next Saturday.”

The back of her head hit the door when she startled. “What?”

He removed his palms from the door to cup her chin. “My publisher is throwing a release party I have to attend. It’ll just be for one night, but I can show you around the city beforehand. Have you ever been to New York?”

“No. But why do I need to go, too?”

Alec wondered if she’d ever get out of the habit of questioning the motivation behind others wanting to be in her
company. “You don’t
need
to go. I
want
you to go. I’d like you there.”

“Oh.”

Again with the
oh
. “What do you say?”

Her gaze drifted over his shoulder as she contemplated. “Okay. As long as Mia doesn’t need me in town.”

“You don’t work weekends.” Why the hell was he trying so hard to convince her? He never brought dates to release parties.

“I’m sure it won’t be a problem,” she said, staring at him as if wanting to say more. She opened and closed her mouth several times before finally speaking. “If you change your mind about this thing between us, just tell me. I’d like to stay on friendly terms afterward. If you drag it out—”

“I’ll tell you.” A sour sensation formed in his gut, and he had to wonder why the thought of ending things made him sick. “I’m happy with the way things are, for now.”

She nodded and drew in a slow breath, causing her breasts to brush temptingly against his chest. “Is that why you wanted to see me? To ask about New York?”

No. “Yes. How about a walk on the beach before you go to bed?”

Bed. Christ, he wanted her in bed, beneath him, more than he cared to analyze. Some distance was needed. After nothing more than a few kisses, Faith was in his head. Practically all he thought about. Which made no sense because he’d had sex with more women than he could count, had gotten hot and heavy with them, and none of them had him this . . . enthralled.

Maybe Faith was right. Maybe this had to do with how she’d helped him write again.

Or not.

She dropped her forehead to his chest. The move brought out something deep and protective inside him. Before he could scrutinize the sensation she smiled against his chest and straightened.

“Sure. Let’s go for a walk.”

They made their way outside, where the humidity had faded after sunset and the breeze was warm. Once they were past the dunes and walking in the surf, he took her hand. The action surprised even him. He wasn’t a romantic by nature.

“Hi. I’m Alec and I like long walks on the beach.”

That got the desired reaction because she laughed. A smooth, smoky sound that slid over his skin.

“You don’t strike me as the type.”

He wasn’t usually, which just made his conversation with Jake all the more pressing. No matter why or when this ended, Faith deserved to know about his history. She’d shared a part of hers and needed to know what she was getting into, however brief a time they stayed together.

Except he didn’t have a clue how to tell her about Laura. Before meeting Faith, women were just a string of random hookups with whom he had no intention of a repeat offense. Safer that way.

“What’s on your mind?”

Alec smiled. How could he not? Faith had an uncanny ability to know things, read people. Unless it involved herself, anyway. Then she was oblivious.

He paused their walk by tugging on her hand and sat in the sand, gesturing for her to join him. When she complied, he lay back and stared at the stars. After a moment, she laid next to him, their arms and thighs touching.

“The sky looks different like this,” she said, turning her head to face him. “Doesn’t it? It looks bigger. Vast.”

He murmured in agreement. “I take it you never did this. Laid down and watched the sky? Jake and I used to do it all the time as kids. I haven’t in a long time.”

“No, I haven’t. There’s a lot of things I haven’t done, but I’m trying to make up for that.” She turned her head and stared at the sky again. “I can’t help but think that Hope would be disappointed in me for not living.”

Not for the first time, her brutal honesty gutted him. “You
can’t think that way. You missed her and followed the routine you were accustomed to living. No one can fault you for that.”

“So that’s not what’s bothering you? My inexperience?”

What?
“What?”

“You kiss me like you can’t help it and then back away to cool things down. You’ve done it twice now. I told you I’m not a virgin—”

“Stop.” He held up his hand and turned on his side to face her. “I’m trying not to rush things here.”