All Living : A Seedvision Saga (9781621473923) (35 page)

“They can be with us,” Kole countered. “I would never ask you to abandon your children, Kes.”

“No. They cannot be with us. They cannot be with
you
, Kole. You are a stranger here to them. They have their father and this city. They have their families, and they have me. I will not abandon them no matter how sweet the dream of being reunited with you might seem, and I will not ask them to abandon Cain.” She paused and swallowed hard, getting her emotions under control.

“My life has not been entirely unpleasant. There have been moments of joy, of happiness. Granted there have been struggles, but I have endured them, and have found a form of contentment. All is not lost, Kole, only the illusion of being together. There is still happiness to be had. For you and for me. But I know now that we will have to find that joy separately, without each other. I believe this, my sweet Kole. I have prayed upon this for years and then prayed even more fervently for strength once the answer to my prayers had settle on my heart.”

“Kes…”

“Please, Kole, if you have ever loved me, if you still love me, don’t make this any harder than it already is. I am not strong, Kole. I feel my resolve weakening even as I say these words. But they are truth, my love. If you force me, I will surely go with you. And together we would tear this family apart and destroy it. We would disgrace our Creator by placing our love for each other before Him. Our family would despise us, and we would live out the rest of our lives in suffering, watching as our love for each other slowly died from shame and guilt.”

“Never!”

“Maybe not for you, Kole, you have always been so strong and sure. But for me, this is exactly what would happen. I would grow to hate you. I would shift from dreaming about what might have been with you to what might have been with them. I am not strong, Kole. I am weak. I don’t want to hate you. I love you now as I have never loved before, and I am content with that. Please do not force me to love you less.”

Kole was stunned to silence. He recalled once when he had been twelve summers old, climbing a tree with Cain. The two of them had tried to see who could climb the highest. Kole had been in the lead over his younger brother when his foot had snapped a branch too small to support his weight. His hands slipped, and he had fallen, hitting branches all the way down until finally he had landed hard on the unforgiving ground. The breath had been knocked out of him, and he had lain beneath that tree gasping, thinking he might die. It seemed as if that branch had just broken again.

When Kole found enough wind to form words he looked up into Kesitah’s eyes. “I have never felt strong and sure,” he said.

“You
are
strong, Kole. You will find someone to love, and you will love her. You will have a family, and you will remember this day with gladness; this day when you found freedom, when you found that love cannot be confined. You will always have a place in my heart, Kole. I will think of you fondly and hope to see you from time to time. We will laugh again together, but it will be proper and appropriate. Not poisoned by the past. Please Kole, you must let me go. You must. It is the only right resolution in God’s sight.”

Kole sighed, so broken and beaten down by each word she said. He had viable arguments and persuasions yet to use. He wanted to fight her resolve, to change her mind, to display for her the error of her decision. The
seedvision
showed him the purple coloring of her remorse and sorrow, and he could not bear to see it. Had the Gardener given him these gifts only to taunt him with them? If he could see what someone was feeling but that person forbade him to help them feel better, what use were they then to him? Had he misunderstood? Were these gifts from the garden not gifts at all, but a bargain struck when Kole was distracted? Trade his life with Kesitah for a life without her? Trade happiness and love and children for inaudible music and invisible colors? How was that fair? How was that a good deal?

Kole’s emotions ran wild. His face was slack but did serve to hide his agony, and in truth, only a few seconds passed while these multitudes of thoughts raced through his mind—dejection, hurt, shock, self-pity. But then without warning a sense of peace entered him, from outside himself, like a cool breeze through a fevered dream.
Kesitah said that she had prayed!

As much as Kole longed to believe that the Lord had not answered her, he knew that was not so. He was not the only one whom the Lord listened to and spoke with. Kesitah was beloved by the Creator. He had heard her cries and granted her a reprieve from her grief although it came with a difficult calling. She must be the one to share that truth with Kole. But she had found fortitude and the Lord’s grace and had been able to accomplish His purpose for her. She had freed Kole from his own anger and sadness, offering him instead her comfort and trust; trust that he too would make the right choice.

The words of his father Adam came back to him, words that Adam had whispered in his ear to be sure that he heard them. “Remember, Kole Chay, to choose right when the moment is upon you. Rarely are we given a second opportunity.”

This must be the moment that Adam foresaw, a moment when Kole stood at a split in his life. To choose one way, to follow his heart, to have Kesitah by his side and bring down the Lord’s wrath upon them or to choose the difficult path of releasing her, thereby showing a greater love, albeit a more painful one.

Kole remembered the thoughts that he had had while lying in the wet grass on the morning of the hunt. It had occurred to Kole to understand that even while the mind might supply warming and pleasant thoughts, the body’s actions, like lying in the wet, morning grass among other things, could cause discomfort. The significance of this had escaped him then but now became clear. If he chose wrong, even though it was what he wanted, it might make him feel good for a while, but in the end it would cause problems. And not only for himself, for everyone. It was as if he were in the garden again staring at the forbidden fruit, hungry for it yet knowing that even a small taste would bring disaster.

Kesitah watched him, hesitant, pensive. Kole smiled at her, and her face lit up in understanding. He had heard her. He had trusted her. Kole reached inside the neck of his tunic and pulled out a leather strap. He lifted it up and over his head and took a step toward her. Dangling from the leather was a small wooden bird, carved carefully by the hand of a young man in love with a girl.

“This belongs to you,” said Kole, placing it over her head and lowering it around her neck. “I made it for you on my journey to the garden. I did not realize that it would take me so long to give it to you.”

“Oh, Kole, it’s beautiful,” whispered Kesitah. “I will wear it always to remind me of you when we are far apart. When I see it, I will pray for you, for your safety and happiness.”

“You are my happiness, Kesitah. I never meant to hurt you. I am so sorry to have caused you so much anguish. I know you have forgiven me and I may have even started to forgive myself, but I cannot quit loving you, Kes. I will love you for a thousand summers, and then I will love you longer.”

“Oh,” Kesitah gasped, flinging herself into his arms. “I will love you too, Kole. I will never not love you.”

They held each other tightly, and Kole could feel her crying once more in his arms. He pulled his head back to look into her face. “Did I do something to make you sad again?” Kole asked tentatively.

“No, Kole. No you didn’t. These are the happy tears,” and she smiled up at him, and he felt his heart melt inside his chest.

The door to the room banged open and Kole and Kesitah spun around in surprise.

“Oh, what a touching scene between brother and sister,” said Cain, with venom in his breath and thunderclouds on his brow.

Kesitah took a step forward. “Cain, this is not what you think.”

“Ah, my perceptive wife, now you know what I think, do you?” Cain spat. “Kole, you should count yourself fortunate not to be burdened with a woman who is always second guessing your thoughts.”

“Cain,” interjected Kole, “I’m glad you’re here. Kesitah and I were just talking.”

“Just talking, were you? Do you think me so naive, Brother? I have had conversations before, and rarely do I find myself with my arms around my audience. So, as intriguing as your story sounds, sibling, I have very little interest in conversations that occur between loose women and backstabbing betrayers. You have made your intentions perfectly clear, Kole. You intended to come to my city, seduce my wife, and establish yourself upon the throne of my family.”

“You have missed the mark, Cain. I had no intentions at all concerning your family. I had hoped to hear you express remorse over the death of our brother and your part in that travesty. I had also come to claim the wife that you had stolen from me.”

“Stolen?” roared Cain, stepping forward with threatening menace. “So now I am a murderer and a thief? Is that what you think? I assumed you’d be too much of a coward to voice those views aloud. But I see that I have underestimated you, Brother. You are no coward. You are a fool.”

Kole felt the blood drain from his face. This would not remain a mere talking fight for long. Kesitah cringed in a corner and more of Cain’s men spilled into the room, Enoch and Irad among them. Kole could smell their sweat and sensed the intensity of their hatred.

“That is my purpose no longer, Cain, I assure you.”

Cain laughed. “You scare so easily, Brother? I had hoped you would make this a bit more challenging. Enoch, stay here, but send the men outside. Have two of them escort my wife to her chambers. And see to it that she stays put until I deem it necessary to deal with her. My brother and I have some unfinished business to attend to. And be sure the whipping posts are prepared. It seems we will have need of them again today.”

“You heard Father,” said Enoch. “Get moving.”

The men filed out of the room, gently prodding Kesitah ahead of them and Cain spun on his heel toward Kole.

“It would seem, Brother, that you find yourself in a bit of a dilemma, does it not? For your crimes against the city you have earned the privilege of public flogging. However, since you are not a citizen of Enoch, you may elect to have Kesitah take your punishment for you. Her whipping or yours. Or both.”

Kole felt his blood burn in his mouth as he bit his lip in shock and fury. “You blasphemous dog,” shouted Kole. “You inhuman outrage. Have you forgotten everything good that Father and Mother taught us? Should not a brother and sister, long parted, embrace when reunited? Should not a man and a woman who have loved and lost be allowed a moment to come to peace with the past? Should not two brothers, equally abhorred at the others actions, allow mercy to triumph over judgment? Speak, Cain, and choose wisely. You proudly displayed for me your weights and scales earlier this morning. But now the afternoon has descended and I have taken
your
measure, Brother, and found you wanting. What possible ballast can you bear to bring balance back to your mind, Cain? I beseech you to seek it quickly, for we stand at the brink of a precipice, and if this matter is pushed, one or the other of us will plummet from it.”

“Well, on that account, Kole, I wholeheartedly agree with you, but I am chagrinned that you will not address this in the manner of men. Here in the city of Enoch, I teach my children that if something is worth having it’s worth fighting for. Isn’t that right, Enoch?”

“Yes, Father,” growled Enoch, flashing Kole a toothy smile.

“So you see, Brother, my son seems to be
having
a good time at your expense, and if I read him correctly, he believes it is a
having
worth fighting for. I’ll tell you what, why don’t we add a bit of entertainment to tonight’s festivities. Prior to breaking bread between brothers, perhaps you’d like to test your mettle against Enoch here, with the winner earning a place of honor at the table and the loser going hungry. I will warn you though, Brother, your nephew is tough as old leather, unbeaten… except by me.”

“I think not,” said Kole.

“I am disappointed then but not overly surprised. Perhaps you’d rather take my first offer and flee back to Mother’s lap. Your dignity will suffer, but your backside will remain unscathed.”

“That too is unacceptable,” said Kole patiently. He already knew how the outcome of this encounter would end, but it could not be helped. Cain had a lesson to learn today, and it was long overdue.

“Well, there is one other option then, Brother, but in light of your negativity, I don’t think you’ll like it.”

“You seem enchanted by the sound of your own voice, Cain,” said Kole, “I will grant you one more opportunity to hear it. What is this final choice that you have saved for last?”

“You will stay here Kole, in my city. You will become second only to me in power and authority.”

Enoch looked up at his father in stunned surprise, but Cain continued without taking notice. “You will, however, have to be taught the laws of the land, but you will forego your punishment and spare Kesitah hers. A very generous offer, if I do say so myself. And all you have to do is kneel before me and swear your allegiance to the city of Cain. You may demonstrate your sincerity, to spare your sister her humiliation and to not go back on your word, with but a single kiss upon my ring.”