All I Want Is Forever (4 page)

“Of course I will.  Denise…”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“I love you more,” she smiled.

“Whew!  Man, that was rough,” Roe admitted as he walked down the hallway and into the living room.

“Dude, you need to step outside and air out for about two minutes.”

Roe laughed.

“Roe, I’m serious.”

“Aw, man, you’re tripping.” 

Roe opened the door
and stepped into the hallway.  A couple of minutes later he re-entered.

“You happy?”

“Yep.  Even though you probably could’ve stayed out there a few minutes longer.”

“Man, whatever,” Roe sighed.

“So, what you got for me?”

“
Dude, I’ve been waiting all week for you to get in town.  I think I’m ready to release my single.”

“Cool.  Let me hear it.”

“Which one?”

“
What?”

“Which single you
wanna check out?  I have five.”

“Roe, come on now.  A single is just that…one. 
How do you have five singles?”

“I wasn’t sure which one I wanted to release.”

“You want to release the one that’s going to get you to the top of the charts.”

“Okay.  That could be all five.”

“I don’t believe you,” DJ laughed.

“What?  I’m serious.  They’re all
tight lyrically and the beats, well, you produced those so they’re fire too.”

DJ nodded. 

“Okay, here’s what I’m going to do.  Since they’re all number one singles why don’t we put the titles in a hat and draw one to push to the labels?”

“I mean that’s cool, but…”

“But what?  You just said they’re all tight with fire beats, right?”

Roe ran his hand across his head.

“Yeah, but…”

“No but’s Roe.  You have all the tracks on your flash drive?”

Roe reached in his backpack and pulled out the drive handing it to DJ.

“We’re going to sit here and go track by track, choosing the one that will appeal to the listeners.  For the record, you don’t need f
ive singles.  You only need one,” DJ explained as he inserted the flash drive into his computer.  “Here we go.”

They listened
to the tracks one by one.  When they were finished DJ ejected the drive and sat it on the desk.

“So?”

“I apologize.  You were right.  They’re all fire.”

“I told you!” 

“But you still only need one.  You’ve got your work cut out for you.”

“That’s how it is?  You leave me to do this by myself?  Black folk I swear.”

They laughed.

DJ’s phone began to ring and he looked at the display and held up one finger.

“Hello?”

“DJ,” he dragged.  “It’s Belma.  How’s it going?”

“Hey, long time no talk to.  Sorry we didn’t get to meet with you a few weeks back.  Our schedules have been hectic.”

“I certainly understand.  Well, I’m calling because I’ve been trying to reach Denise for the past several days and thought I’d call you.”

“Oh.  Well, she’s been trying to finish up some assignments and meet a couple of deadlines.  What’s up?”

“I wanted to touch base with you to see where we stood on the
project and if you still wanted to go through with it.  I think it’ll be a good look for TIA as a company and Denise individually.  I have some really great ideas that I’d like to shoot pass the two of you and get your thoughts on.  The company is ready to get started.  We’re just waiting for the ok.”

“
I agree it would definitely be a good look, but we want to make sure we’re doing what’s best for her and the company.  We’re actually going to talk it about it this weekend and I had hoped to meet with you next week.  What’s your schedule looking like for Wednesday?”  DJ asked placing Belma on speaker while he checked his iCalendar.

“I have a nine a.m., but I’m free any time after that.”

“How about we meet after lunch at the office on 5
th
?

“That sounds great!  I’d like to do a presentation for you guys regarding my ideas if that’s okay.”

“Yep.  This meeting is like your sales pitch.  You only get one shot,” he laughed.  “I hope it’s good.”

“It is.  You’ll be ready to shoot a.s.a.p.”

“I like that type of confidence, Belma,” DJ admitted.  “See you on Wednesday, my friend.”

“See you then and thanks again.”

DJ ended the call and placed the phone down on the desk.  “Sorry about that, Roe.  Now, where were we?”

CHAPTER FIVE

“I think I’ve accepted my call to single
hood.”

“Good for you,” Denise replied.

“Did you hear what I said?”

“Yes, I heard what you said!  What do you want me to say, Aprile?  I keep giving you the same spill over and over.  I know you’re getting tired of hearing it because I’m getting tired of saying it.”

“Oh, so you’re getting tired of listening to me and my problems, huh?  Well, thanks a lot
friend
,” she emphasized.  “Nice to know I’m getting on your damn nerves with my issues.”

“I didn’t say that I was getting tired of listening to you
or that you were getting on my nerves.  What I did say, however, is that I’m getting tired of telling you what I feel is the problem and offering possible solutions.  You don’t want my help and it’s obvious.  When you want something different, you’ll do something different.”

“
Oh, so now, you’re a relationship coach.”

Denise laughed.

“And I’m amusing you.”

“Aprile, stop it! 
I’ve told you what to do.  You keep saying what you don’t want instead of saying what you do and that’s why you continue getting what you’ve always gotten.  For once, can you speak into the universe what it is that you really want?

“I want what every woman wants.”

“The latest Prada bag?”

“I’m glad this is comical to you.”

“It’s not.  What I’m trying to get you to do is be specific.  Know exactly what it is that you’re looking for in a man and in a relationship and then speak it!  Stop saying, ‘I want what every woman wants’ because you don’t know what every woman wants.  Yeah, sure she wants to be loved, but does she want to be loved by a fat man with braces, a skinny man with Tourette Syndrome, a tall man, a short man, a bald man, a rich man…”

“Okay, I get it.  You can stop.”

“Thank you.  Maybe you’re not being called so singlehood.  Maybe God is working behind the scenes and crafting someone specifically for you.  You know how picky you are.”

Aprile
smiled.

“Seriously though, girl.  He could also be giving you a chance to heal.  One thing you don’t want to do is
jump heart first into a new relationship without properly healing from the last one.  That could be deadly.”

“I know, but all of my friends are happily married or in these story tale relationships.  Where’s my Prince Charming?  Where’s my knight in shining armor.  I want to be swept off my feet, leaving nothing but a
Jimmy Choo
behind as the only evidence of my existence.”

“You read too many
books.  However, I do understand what you mean.”

“Denise, please,” Aprile huffed.  “You are married to the man of your dreams.  He absolutely worships the ground you walk on.”

“And?”

Aprile shook her head as if to say,
whatever
.

“You act like one day I had a dream and the next day it came true.  I had to wait for my Prince Charming.  He didn’t magically appear in my life, contrary to popular beliefs.”

“I’m listening.”

“Well, we’re going to need another glass of wine for this.  Helen!”

Helen walked into the sitting room.  “Yes, ma’am.”

“Can you bring us two more glasses of wine, please?  On the other hand, bring the whole bottle.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“This
must be good,” Aprile commented.

Helen returned with the wine bottle
and a bucket of ice.  She sat them on the table.

“Will that be all, Mrs. Chatman?”

“Yes.  Thank you, Helen.  See you tomorrow?”

“Yes, ma’am.  You ladies have a wonderful evening,”
she winked, reminiscing her younger days.

“You too and be careful
going home.”

She smiled. 

They sat quietly until they heard the garage door lowering.

“Okay.  Spill it!”

Denise laughed as she got comfortable on the floor beside her friend.   She picked up the remote from the table and pressed a button.  Music began to play.

“
Come on, Denise.  Share the knowledge.”

“Now, what I’m about to disclose to you doesn’t leave this room.  Got it?”

“Alright, alright!”  Aprile laughed.

“People used to always wonder why I would always write about love.”

“Shoot, I wondered that myself.”

“Well, I always wrote about it because it was something that I always wanted, but never had.”

“That’s crazy, Denise.  DJ has always loved you.  Like I said he worships the very ground that you walk on.”

Denise chuckled.  “I’m talking even before DJ. 
I remember being in a real lonely place in life.  I wanted nothing more than to be loved and it seemed like everyone that I met was more than willing to give it to me.  Just not in the way I needed it.”

“Mmmppp.  That’s every woman’
s story,” Aprile added.

“Well, when I got tired of giving all of myself to people who seemed to
deplete and never replenish I told myself, ‘Self.  You should try something different’.  My grandmother used to say that if a person wanted something different then they should try something different.”

“I’ll drink to that.”

“You’re so silly.  Anyways, so I made a vow that I wasn’t going to give any more of my time or energy to men who didn’t deserve it.”

“I bet that was
hard.”

“It
was, especially when I was accustomed to showing love in a certain way.  DJ and I were friends, but that was all we were.  I would call him for spiritual advice and have him pray for me from time to time because I felt like God would hear his prayers before he would hear mine,” she laughed.  “I always had a special place in my heart for him though.  It was always something about him.  He was different from all the other men I knew.”

“I knew it!  You said you didn’t like him.  You’re such a liar.”

“Girl, hush.  Anyways, I used to wonder why life seemed so hard for me.  I couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong to the point that nothing was going right.  I prayed and cried, cried and prayed, but nothing changed.   That was the loneliest time of my life. ”

“I’m so confused.  You had friends.  There were tons of guys who were interested in dating you.”

“I didn’t want just
any guy
.  When all you’re meeting are liars, cheaters, and manipulators, you have to re-evaluate yourself.  You have to start analyzing the common denominator.  You!”

“You blame yourself for the jerks you encountered? Psst, that’s just the way the world is.  Full of no good men who prey on women who desire to be loved and in a relationship.”

“Aprile, it all sounds good, but at some point we have to take responsibility for the role we play in whatever is going on in our lives.  We make excuses for why we can’t find good men when I truly believe the men we get ourselves involved with are a reflection of who we are or how we see ourselves at that time.”

“
I rebuke that!”

Denise
shook her head.  “I don’t know that you can rebuke the truth, girl.  You don’t have to accept it, but think about it for a while and get back with me.  So, after those couple of years of being in and out of, what I considered to be, relationships I decided to chill for a minute.  Sitting still became my new best friend.  Work, school, church and home…that was my routine.”

“How’d that work out for you?”

“It was hard in the beginning, but it got easier as the months went by.  However, I suppose I was doing too well because men started coming out the wood work.  It was like moving a rock that had been sitting in the same spot for a long time – everything underneath it scatters.”

“I can attest to that.”

“After a while I started getting fed up.  Men were constantly promising me a love they couldn’t produce.  They wanted all the amenities of a relationship without the commitment of one.  I began to pray, asking for the man that I desired.  I wanted a loving and committed man.  One who would love me, not because he had to but because he chose to.  I wanted a man who wasn’t scared of commitment, wasn’t abusive and didn’t have any of the qualities the previous cats did.”

“You prayed for that?”

“I sure did.  You eventually get tired of trying things your way.  If you want something different you have to do something different.  I wanted something different and found it in DJ.  He was my breath of fresh air and I will thank God
every day
for him .  You want some more?”  Denise asked raising the bottle.

“
I have a confession,” Aprile stated as she held out her glass. 

Denise
filled it up before giving Aprile her undivided attention.

“Alex is back?”

“Back?  Back where?”

“Back at the house.”

“Aprile, no,” Denise said shaking her head.

“He called me last week and asked if we could meet for lunch.  I told him that we didn’t have anything to talk about.  He insisted that we did.  We met at Panera and he told me that he was really sorry and that he wanted to come home.”

“So, you gave him the key and laid out the ‘welcome home’ mat?”

“Denise, I love him.  I told you the last thing I want to do is die alone.”

“But you’re willing to settle for man who is manipulative, abusive and openly cheats on you.”

“He told me he was ready this time.  He promised that he was done cheating.”

“And you believed him?  Obviously.”

“What’s wrong with me wanting to be happy and loved?  I’m tired of feeling empty and incomplete.  I want someone to love, too.”

“There’s nothing wrong with it, but I don’t believe he’s capable of giving you the happiness and love you’re looking for.  He’s proven that time and time again.  Now, don’t get me wrong because I believe people have the ability to change.  Let me rephrase that.  I believe that
God
has the ability to change people.  Don’t put too much trust in man, especially not that man, Aprile.  You’re my best friend and the last thing I want is to see you hurt again.”

“He won’t hurt me again,” she stated taking a sip from her glass.

Denise shrugged.  “You know him better than I do.  All I ask is that you do me one favor, please.”

“What’s that?”

“Will you at least take some time and start loving Aprile?  Start believing that you deserve better and stop looking for men who can’t fill a void they weren’t created to fill.”

“No one can love me better than he
can.”

“But
somebody already does.”

***

“Do I even want to know what went down in here last night?”

“DJ!  Oh my gosh!  What time is it?”

“It’s after eleven.  Who all was invited to the party?”

Denise laughed.  “It wasn’t a party.  Aprile came over and we started talking.  One glass of wine led up to two
or three.  She left and I crashed.  Did daddy pick you up from the airport?”

“Yeah.  I tried calling you a couple of times, but you didn’t answer the phone.”

Denise looked over at the bedside table.  She grabbed her phone.

“The ringer is off.  I’m so sorry, baby.”

“Don’t worry about it.  Dad was out this way doing some work so he was cool.  What do you have planned for today?”

“I don’t have any plans.”

“Well, I’m going to take a shower real quick.  Can I treat you to lunch?”

Denise smiled.  “I would like that.”

“Good,” he smiled back.

“
You want me to iron you something to wear?”

“Do you mind?”

“Of course not.”

“Okay.  Well, I should have some jeans hanging inside the closet
door.  If you can run the iron over those and a white tee that would be great.”

“Got it.”

Denise rolled out of bed in search of something to wear.

I can’t believe I didn’t have
my ringer on
, she thought as a result of missing DJ’s call. 
No more wine the night before his return.  None!
 

She ironed their clothes and
then got into the shower.  Once they were both dressed they headed out to lunch.

“Thank you for joining me.  I know I was only gone for a day, but I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too, love. 
So, tell me about the meeting.  How’d it go?”

“The meeting was amazing.  I feel really good about it.  Now, the hard part is waiting.”

“Patience grasshopper.”

“I
know, baby.  Oh, Belma called me also.  I guess we need to decide whether or not we’re going to go through with this deal.”