All I Want Is Forever (15 page)

“Long as I'm suckin' air, I got me!” Monette slapped a palm against her chest. “Unlike most of my classmates up in here, I
really didn't do it
.”

She knew this Monette only too well. “Yeah,” Talia said shortly.

Monette grunted. “You think I'm lyin' again. Whatever. I been on my own all my life with nobody watchin' my back.”

“You were with those guys, and they had three kilos of cocaine. They were your party pals.” Talia ticked off her points on the fingers of one hand. “You had been arrested before on a drug charge. And your ‘friends' gave you up.”

Talia stared at her hard. She expected Monette to get angry. Instead, Monette waved a hand as though brushing away a small pesky insect.

“First of all, running drugs is dangerous.” Monette looked around, then lowered her voice. “Them dudes don't play. One speck of their stuff comes up missin' and so do you.”

“Then why—”

“Let me finish Miss Know-it-damn-all,” she snapped. Monette took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Sorry. It's this place.”

“What did you expect?” Talia said heatedly. “I'm supposed to just throw my arms around you and believe every word you say? I don't think so.”

“Okay, okay. I got that comin'.” Monette drummed her fingers on the table as silence stretched between them.

Candy walked over. “Here ya go, Monette. Got y'all some snacks.” She put two soft drinks, a bag of Fritos, and a bag of oatmeal cookies between Talia and Monette.

“Thanks,” Monette said in a subdued tone.

“Yeah, your favorites. Y'all been talkin', so I figured time might be up and you'd miss the goodies.” Candy gazed at Monette with a question in her green eyes.

“It's cool, Can.” Monette nodded at her to leave.

“Okay.” Candy glanced at Talia, then strolled off.

Monette looked at Talia for a few seconds more, then gave a sharp laugh. “You somethin' else. I like you, girl. Mama Rose done a good job raisin' you.”

“She did a fantastic job,” Talia tossed back.

“Considerin' she had to deal with how I messed you up.” Monette bit her lower lip. “You're right.”

Talia sighed. “I didn't come here to fight with you.”

“Yes you did. I got it comin', too.” Monette shook her head with a grin. “Not like your little sister. That child so sweet, I wonder if there wasn't some mix-up at the hospital.”

“Alyssa has had a great life. She's a kind, forgiving kid.” Talia really had grown to love her sister.

“I'm glad you get to keep in touch. Best thing I did was not to fight her adoption.”

Talia marveled at her selective memory. Monette implied she'd given Alyssa up for her own good. Still, she decided to let that one pass. “So, what about this evidence that impressed Jim Rand.”

Her mother smiled at her with fondness. “Now you ain't like your baby sister. Uh-uh, you like them red and yellow hot peppers my tante Pauline used to grow in her backyard. They look all pretty 'til you bite down on 'em. Then they bite your ass right back!”

“Monette, the case you're building to get out of here?”

“I can't tell you too much. But I got the goods on some big people, and I'm gettin' outta here,” she whispered.

“You mean Barron?” Talia whispered back.

“What do you know, Talia?” Monette's brown eyes widened in alarm. “Somebody botherin' you?”

Talia's eyes narrowed. “Why would you think someone is bothering me, Monette? He doesn't know I'm your daughter.”

“And I intend to keep it that way,” Monette said. “I don't want you involved. Period.”

“Monette, I'm not just looking after Mama Rose. My firm is helping Senator Jackson with his effort to change Louisiana's mandatory-sentencing laws. Since I had to come down here, I'm on the assignment.”

“Act like you don't know me.” Monette wore an intense expression. “Got it? You don't know me.”

“At least tell me
something
.”

“Look, it shouldn't be hard. You been ashamed of me all you life, with good reason,” she added quickly to cut off Talia's reply. “Just pretend we ain't kin.”

“But I want to know—”

“Good thing you got your daddy's last name. You the only one was with me back then,” she mumbled to herself as though alone.

“Hey!” Talia waved a hand in front of Monette's face to get her attention. “I've got a bad feeling you're in over your head.”

“Just do what I tell ya.” Monette touched Talia's cheek briefly, then drew her hand back. “I've done enough to you for one lifetime.”

“I'm tough like you, remember? Besides, I'm going to find out anyway.” Talia squinted at her.

Monette shook her head. “Not this you won't. This ain't the time to be all in my business, Talia,” Monette said with a fierce expression. “Things gonna get hot and heavy one of these days.”

“I should have known. You've got some con game working. This is another one of your dramatic productions, a ploy to grab attention and put the parole board on the spot.” Talia scowled at her mother, hoping to bait her into revealing more.

Monette glared at her as the minutes ticked by and neither spoke. The rumble of dozens of voices talking at once filled the space between them. A male guard
walked by slowly. He eyed them as they stared each other down, but kept going.

“Well?” Talia said finally.

“I'm not tellin' you anything. The less you know, the better I'll sleep at night.” Monette's tone made it clear she wouldn't budge.

“You're scaring me, Monette,” Talia whispered. Indeed, the hairs on the back of her neck stood at attention. “If you're into something so dangerous, you need help.”

Monette grabbed both Talia's hands. “My bold girl. Hell, you're a woman now.”

“That's right, and I know about swimming with sharks. One thing you did teach me was survival in a hard world.” Talia's voice shook unexpectedly.

“Humph, yeah and in the worst way. But not anymore,” Monette mumbled. Then her glum expression brightened. “I'm gonna be all right, sugar.”

“I want to know if someone is threatening you,” Talia persisted. “You hung out with some dangerous people.”

“I don't have to worry 'bout them. Half of 'em dead, the other half in prison.”

“Monette—”

“I want you far away when the you-know-what hits the fan.” Monette smiled. “That's all.”

“Really?” Talia let skepticism drip from her tone as she raised both eyebrows.

“Really. And you know me. It will hit the fan and hard.”

“Yeah, I know you very well.” Talia tilted her head to one side, eyebrows still raised in suspicion.

“Then you know I land on my feet.” Monette leaned across the table with an intense expression. “You've got a beautiful life. The last thing I want is to drag you
down again. I can't undo all the hurt. But I can damn sure keep from hurtin' you now.”

“So you won't tell me. You're going to keep secrets from me.” Talia frowned at her.

“Just knowing you
want
to help is more than enough, baby.” Monette picked up the bag of chips and tore it open. “Want some?”

Talia knew it was no use. She threw up both hands. “Fine. You've got a good point.”

“Oh yeah.” Monette wore a skeptical expression. “Just like that?”

“I've tried sentimentality, guilt, and getting pissed off.” Talia wore a crooked smile. “I can't play a player.”

“Don't you try nothin', Talia René.” Monette pointed a forefinger at her.

“I spent the last sixteen years putting distance between us. You're right. I'm going to leave well enough alone.” Talia smoothed down the pearl gray sweater she'd worn over black jeans. She brushed back her hair.

Monette smiled. “There ya go. Don't risk nothin' you don't have to. I'll take care of myself like I said.” She popped a corn chip in her mouth.

“Ten minutes left. Start packin' up and wrappin' up. Thank y'all for comin',” Officer Landers announced over a loudspeaker.

Monette and Talia stood at the same time. They looked at each other, both awkward about how to end this first visit in years. Then Monette took one of Talia's hands.

“Damn, it was good to see you.” Monette's eyes glittered with tears. She blinked and lifted her chin. “Don't come back.”

“Okay.” Talia took a deep breath to fight off her own emotions. “Good-bye, Monette.”

“Bye, sugar.” Monette touched the tips of her fingers to Talia's hair. “Be good. And let Derrick take care of you.”

“I don't need anyone to take care of me.” Talia picked up her purse.

Monette smiled wisely. “I know you don't. But it ain't about
need
.”

“What does that mean?”

“You real smart. Think about it.” Monette winked at her. She strolled off and was joined by Candy and two other inmates. They lined up at the door leading back to the cellblocks.

Talia followed the other visitors toward the exit. She glanced over her shoulder to see Monette looking at her intently. She waved, but Monette didn't wave back. Monette had her game, but this time so did Talia. She had every intention of finding out exactly what had Monette so paranoid. Despite the still-potent anger from her childhood, Talia found she cared what happened to her mother. Her research on the consequences of mandatory sentencing had helped her understand the problems. Now the issue hit close to home for her. Derrick's question bounced around her head. What if Monette
was
innocent?

Talia stared at the screen of the microfilm reader in the small New Roads library branch. The old newspaper accounts of Monette's trial were a piece of her life as well. She scanned the headlines and pressed a button to print out a copy. Somewhere in these articles might be clues to help her understand.

“Hey,” Derrick said over her shoulder. “This is a strange lunch date.” He kissed her forehead and sat in the empty chair next to her.

“We can eat at Po-Boy Heaven in a few minutes.” Talia continued to stare at grainy black-and-white pictures.

“I had something different in mind. Maybe we could get a table at Morel's with a view of False River.”

“No way. I've got to get back to work.” Talia shook her head. “And so do you.”

“Right.” Derrick gave an exaggerated sigh. “So I can forget about a little lunchtime delight.”

Talia looked at him from the corner of her eye. “I didn't say that. I figure we'll save time eating at a fast-food place.”

“Why eat at all?” Derrick whispered close to her ear.

Talia shivered. “This is the last article.” She punched
the button. A soft buzzing sound came as the printer worked.

Derrick helped her gather up the papers. In minutes they left the library in his SUV. Bright autumn sunshine painted the scenery around them. They passed antiques shops on the small town's main street.

“So what have you found out?” Derrick glanced at her, then looked back at the road.

“I'm not sure.” Talia opened the folder and shuffled through the sheets until she found an article. “Maybe nothing. Monette and her pals didn't make for sympathetic defendants I'll tell you that much.”

“Yeah, their lawyers tried the ‘bad childhood' defense for all of them,” Derrick replied. “Most of the time that strategy doesn't fly.”

“I thought jurors would feel sorry for them, you know, think ‘There but for the grace of God.'”

“You kidding? Black folks are the toughest jurors.” Derrick steered the 4Runner down the drive through a lane of Po-Boy Heaven.

“Interesting.” Talia glanced up with a slight frown. “Wonder why?”

“Jurors are mostly working-class, some have even grown up in poverty. To them being poor isn't a license to steal or sell drugs.”

“Makes sense.” Talia started when a male voice jumped from the speaker.

“Welcome to Po-Boy Heaven. How can I help ya?”

Talia ordered a turkey sandwich and Derrick got a roast beef po-boy with fries and a large chocolate shake. He merely shrugged when Talia clucked with disapproval.

“Do you have any idea how much fat you're about to ingest?” Talia said.

“Sure do. Hmmm, can't beat fat when it comes to good taste!” Derrick laughed when she made a face.

“All that heavy food will slow you down for
hours
,” Talia peered at him over the rim of her sunglasses.

Derrick glanced at her with his brows drawn together for a couple of beats. “Make that two turkey sandwiches and two diet lemon-lime sodas.”

“Smart move. I'd prefer not to have you burping beef aroma during a special moment,” Talia teased.

“Very funny.” Derrick pretended to frown at her, yet a smile tugged at his full lips.

They drove to Mama Rose's house. Talia suggested they eat in the backyard to take advantage of the pretty weather. After getting napkins and a tablecloth from the house, she led the way to a redwood picnic table with attached benches. Two tall elm trees swayed in a cooling breeze. Their branches stretched out over the table in a leafy canopy. Seated side by side, they ate in silence for ten minutes. Both were lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Derrick spoke after wiping his mouth with a napkin.

“I'll tell you what I think about Monette's claim.”

“Claim is right.” Talia put in. “Monette is a smooth operator.”

“Agreed, but I don't like what I'm seeing. The main evidence against her was the circumstantial and self-serving testimony of her co-defendants.” Derrick finished his sandwich in two more large bites and looked at his wristwatch. “I'm gonna be hungry in thirty minutes.”

“You'll be distracted in thirty minutes, trust me.” Talia winked at him saucily, then slid away when he reached for her. “I'm eating. Now back to Monette's case.”

Derrick smiled, but continued. “She happened to be with these guys, which implied she must have known about the drugs.”

“Based on her history, believing she didn't know
about the coke would have been hard. I mean, dealers partied at her house.”

“For sure. But it's still circumstantial. So she helped them find the house once they got to town. Doesn't mean she knew.”

“Monette has never been that clueless, Derrick.” Talia wore a sardonic expression.

“She was high. And we both know she was just as addicted to risky behavior.” Derrick used the damp paper towel Talia provided to wipe his hands.

“True, and she's still in love with drama.” Talia took a swig of soda. “I've got the feeling she's got a major production in the works.”

“Life is never boring with Monette on the scene.” Derrick wore a half grin.

“One day she's going to use up all her lucky chances.” Talia felt a chill. “Monette is about to push the wrong buttons. I can feel it.”

Derrick's grin turned now into a frown. “Yeah,” he said.

Talia glanced at him. “You know something.”

“Nothing more than I've told you already.” He stared ahead at the woods, with one large fist on his right thigh.

“But you've got a theory.” Talia put down the half of her sandwich she hadn't eaten yet.

“Not exactly. It's more like a feeling reading the case file. Why is Winn Barron taking her parole hearing so personally?” He glanced at her.

“Because he convicted her, and he wants to impress the voters,” Talia said.

She had seen enough political posturing to recognize the moves. Still, Derrick's use of the word “personal” struck a chord. She studied the frown on his handsome face.

“Well, describe this feeling,” Talia prompted, when he didn't respond.

“Barron could have just made some speeches using her as an example. I don't understand why he's making a trip to testify. He could have sent a letter to the parole board.”

“Not as effective. Besides, you can't get the same attention from the media.” Talia gave a cynical laugh. “I'll bet he makes sure television cameras capture the moment.”

“Maybe. Or maybe he's trying to cover himself.” Derrick looked at her. “I may be stretching now, but if Monette is telling the truth then…”

Talia picked up his line of reasoning in seconds. “Then his sterling record could lose its shine.”

“I'm no lawyer, but he missed holes in the witness testimonies.” Derrick crossed his muscular arms. “What if he knew they were lying? He could get her off the streets. It's not like anyone would care.”

Talia felt a mixture of anger and shame. She'd turned her back on Monette then. Monette's family had made noisy protests, but their voices didn't count. Just as many family and friends washed their hands of the whole business. With their own legal problems, the last thing they wanted was to be visible. The police and DA might turn their attention on them. The family members who didn't have trouble with the police were disgusted with Monette's lifestyle. The result was she'd pretty much gone through it all alone.

“Like me,” she said.

Derrick took her hand. “You were just a kid, and you were hurting.”

“I was fifteen,” she said quietly. Still she had a sour taste in her mouth. “She was still my mother.”

“Don't beat yourself up over Monette's mistakes,” Derrick said.

Talia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “With all she's done, my mother deserves justice.”

“Look, I'm not saying Barron did anything wrong on purpose. The man's full of it, but Larry swears by him.”

“And you trust Larry.” Talia looked at Derrick hard. She had her doubts given how closely he seemed tied to Barron.

“Absolutely,” Derrick said with a nod. “I've worked with the guy for six years. They may be hunting pals, but they're not alike in some important ways.

“I don't know, Derrick.” Talia drank the last of her soda. “Larry sure jumped to help him prepare for this parole hearing.”

“It's not unusual for a prosecutor to testify.” Derrick rubbed his chin. “But I don't know. His vibe was funny about it. Like he had some reason he wants Monette to stay in prison, and it's not just to protect the public.”

“So he doesn't want his political future to crash and burn. How far would he go?” Talia's brow furrowed. “Monette tried to hide it, but she's jittery.”

Derrick looked at her with a frown. “She mentioned Barron?”

“No, and I tried to pry it out of her.” Talia ground her teeth in frustration. “She drives me up the wall!”

“That mother-daughter thing, huh?” Derrick's voice held a note of sympathy.

“Complicated by a lot of crap.” Talia waved a hand. “But enough of that. I'm going to talk to her lawyer. Monette will throw a fit, but I'll help if I can.”

“So will I.”

“No!” Talia snapped.

“What about you?” Derrick wore a calm expression. “I thought you wanted to put miles between your old life and the new one.”

“Trust me, I'm not doing this with a song in my
heart,” she retorted. “But I can't leave Louisiana without doing something.”

“I see.” Derrick let go of her hand.

“My favorite answer to the question ‘What's up?' is being able to say ‘Nothing much.' I don't want the roller-coaster soap opera kind of life anymore.”

“What's that got to do with me?” Derrick's jaw muscle tightened.

Talia chewed her bottom lip. She had to be honest with him. “You're a wonderful man. I care a lot about you. But chasing down crooks and creeps reminds me of living with Monette.”

“C'mon, Talia!” he said angrily. “This isn't some ghetto lifestyle! This is my career.”

“You crave the thrill, the excitement. The only fight I want is over the check with a client.” Talia shook her head slowly. “I've had my fill of wondering if someone I love will come home alive.”

“My job isn't dangerous.” Derrick turned to her with a stiff expression. “You care about me, but not enough.”

“That's not true at all.” Talia put her arms around his neck, but he remained rigid in her embrace.

“Am I just keeping you warm until you get back to Jarrod?” Derrick carefully took her hands in his and took her arms off his neck.

“I can't believe you!” Talia stared at him in shock.

“Then what's your game? I thought you felt something real for me.” Derrick's full mouth twisted into a bitter smile. “I'm feeling used right now.”

Talia saw the hurt in his brown eyes. “Rougon isn't my home anymore. Being away has helped me to heal.”

“Okay.” Derrick stood up. He stuffed the empty wrappers and paper cups into the bag, then crumpled
it between his large hands. “I've gotta get back to the office.”

“Derrick, don't be angry with me.” Talia stood, grabbed his arm to keep him from walking away.

“You made yourself clear for the hundredth time.” Derrick handed her the bag, then put on his sunglasses. “Throw this away. I'm not coming inside.”

“Yes, you are.” Talia tightened her grip on his arm. “I'm not going to let go.”

“You already have, Talia. Too bad it isn't so easy for me,” he said in a strangled voice.

“It was hard for me to leave,” Talia said. “I wanted to come back, but you know why I couldn't.”

Talia inched toward him, afraid he would bolt if she moved too fast. When he didn't, she put her arms around his waist. They stood together for a long time. She could feel the warmth of his body through the light blue cotton dress shirt he wore. His hard muscles made her feel safe. After a while his chest rose as he inhaled deeply, then exhaled. Derrick relaxed in her arms.

“I know, baby. Guess I'm more of a dreamer than I ever thought I was.” Derrick kissed the top of her head.

Talia trembled with regret at the despair in his tone. She hated being the source of his unhappiness. Yet something deep down felt a panic at staying in Rougon. She'd come close to kidding herself she could. Monette's dramatic behavior brought back all the reasons she'd stayed away. She would do what she could to help her mother, but at a distance.

“I truly want to help her, Derrick. I'm going to do a bit of digging on my own.”

“I've got access to files and can—”

She glanced up at him. “Your whole career would be screwed.”

“Then I'll give you what I find out,” he insisted.

“Perrilloux and Barron will know.” Talia put a hand
on his cheek. “Honey, please. Keep away from Monette.”

“Most of what I tell you will be public record. The rest, well, any good reporter could get it with a little luck and inside sources.” Derrick kissed her forehead. “Face it, we're in this together already.”

Talia let go of him and walked around the table to stand in the shade of an oak tree. “See, this is what I didn't want. We have to think of all kinds of ins and outs.”

“Life is always complicated,” Derrick said.

She turned to face him. “Not everyone's life is about prisons and sensational scandals.”

Derrick gave a short laugh. “Talia, you work in Washington, D.C., the capital of scandal and double-dealing.”

“But not in
my personal life
!” Talia spread her arms out. “Most of the people who live there just work, play, and spend time with their families.”

“And that's what you want,” Derrick said.