All I Believe (18 page)

I really did have a nice buzz going by the time he served dinner maybe an hour later. He’d been pretty ambitious. His first course was a large Vietnamese summer roll, served with two little round ramekins filled with different dipping sauces. I fought back a chuckle and decided not to be immature enough to point out the fact that it looked exactly like a cock and balls. It actually tasted good, even if it did explode when I tried to take a bite out of it. Luca frowned a little and handed me a fork.

The main course was a long, thin fillet of some sort of local white fish, served with two round, red potatoes. He’d garnished it with a few sprigs of chives, which jutted out of the fillet at the end opposite the potatoes. I slammed down another glass of wine and worked on maintaining my composure. He seemed completely oblivious to the fact that it looked like an erupting penis. Comedic value aside, it tasted pretty good.

I completely lost it when he served dessert though, and fell off my stool as I doubled over with laughter. He’d gone to a bakery and purchased two fat, long cannoli, which he’d served by embedding each one in two small scoops of strawberry gelato, so they stood upright. Luca grinned as he watched me. I looked up at him from my spot on the kitchen floor and reached under my glasses to wipe away my tears. “You need to have a guest spot on my grandmother’s cooking show,” I said, still chuckling. “That meal was epic.”

He started laughing too, and offered me his hand. When he pulled me up, he gave my bare bottom a playful swat. “Mission accomplished,” he said.

“It was your mission to serve me the most phallic meal possible?”

“It was my mission to make you laugh and distract you from my subpar cooking.”

“So, you knew you were serving me an international dick parade?”

“Of course! I loved watching you trying to keep a straight face through all of that, it was hilarious.” He flashed me a brilliant smile.

“You were so serious about it,” I said. “I didn’t think you realized.”

“It was pretty hard to miss.”

I sat on his lap, picked up a cannoli and offered it to him, and he took a big bite as I said, “You did a good job cooking everything. Thank you.”

“The fish was dry.”

“No it wasn’t.”

“The potatoes looked like balls.”

“Yes. Intentionally, as it turns out.”

He grinned at me, and I leaned in and licked some cannoli cream from his lower lip. We ate all of our dessert by feeding it to each other, interspersed with slow, tender kisses. When all the food was gone, I stayed on his lap with my arms around his neck and we went right on kissing.

Eventually he said, “Come on
mio tesoro
, let’s have some after-dinner drinks by the pool,” and picked up another bottle of wine and a couple glasses from the counter. On the way to the roof, he tossed a fleece blanket over his shoulder.

The pool and patio were breathtaking. We settled onto a padded lounge chair, wrapped up in the blanket and one another. I sat between his legs, and leaned back against Luca as I looked up at the indigo night sky. There wasn’t another building in sight, and the only sound was the waves crashing on the rocky shore far below us. “It’s so peaceful,” I said. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

“I had hoped you’d like it. A lot of this country is densely populated, but this remote corner appealed to me.”

“It was a great choice. What made you pick Malta, anyway?”

“I’d never been here before, even with all my traveling. I liked the idea of someplace brand new, a place that could just be ours. Have you been here?”

I shook my head and said, “It’s new to me, too.”

I shivered a little as the breeze picked up. Luca pulled up the throw blanket and made sure I was tucked in. “If it’s still too cold we can go back inside,” he said as he wrapped his arms around me.

“Let’s stay a little longer. I love it out here.”

“Sure, Nicky.” He rubbed his cheek against my hair and held me securely.

“You’re so kind,” I said softly after a while. “Kinder than anyone I’ve ever known. Thank you for being so nice to me and treating me like I matter.”

“You matter more than anything.” He kissed the top of my head, and I twisted around in his arms and kissed him deeply.

Both of us were aroused in a matter of minutes, and as I stroked Luca’s hard-on through his jeans he said, “That thing you mentioned earlier that you’ve always wanted to try? I, um, I’d be willing if you are.” Vulnerability wasn’t something I associated with Luca, and to see it in his eyes as he offered himself to me made me feel so protective of him.

“You sure?” When he nodded, I said, “Maybe we should move to the bedroom so we can do this properly.”

When we got there, I sat on the edge of the mattress and he stood in front of me and kept his eyes locked with mine as he stripped himself. He pulled the white t-shirt over his head first and tossed it aside, then took off his jeans and threw them in the direction of the shirt. He removed his black briefs slowly, sliding them down his thighs before letting them fall to the floor and stepping out of them. When I drew in a breath, it was ragged with desire.

He climbed onto the bed and said a bit embarrassedly as he stretched out on his back, “I, um, cleaned up earlier in case you wanted to do this tonight. So I’m, you know, all good to go.”

I climbed up beside him and ran a line of kisses up his muscular thigh, then picked up his cock and stroked it lightly as I asked, “How long has it been since you bottomed, Luca?”

“It’s been years. It kind of makes me nervous, because it hasn’t always gone so well in the past. But I trust you to go slowly.”

I took my time worshipping Luca’s strong, beautiful body with my hands and lips and tongue, licking and caressing him as I fingered his incredibly tight opening with lots of lube. I returned to his cock again and again, rubbing, sucking, and licking it while he moaned and squirmed. He kept his eyes open, watching everything I was doing to him, reaching down to stroke my hair periodically but otherwise remaining passive and letting me do whatever I wanted.

I climbed between his legs and kept stroking his cock with two fingers inside him, and I could feel him beginning to open up, just a little. When I bent down and began licking his balls and the sensitive spot beneath them, Luca threw his head back and moaned. He had been trying to lie still, but it was a losing battle.

My cock jumped and leaked precum in response to that moan. I was achingly hard, the briefs pulled down beneath my balls and my erection pressing against my stomach, but I kept all the attention focused on him as I pleasured him with my hands and mouth. After a while, I looked up at him from between his legs as I slid my fingers from him and wiped my hand on the towel, and said softly, “Thank you for trusting me and offering yourself to me like this, Luca. But you know, just because you’re allowing me to top you doesn’t mean you can’t actively participate.”

He thought about that for a moment, then said, “You’re absolutely right.”

In the next instant, he grabbed me and threw me onto the bed. He took hold of the back of my thighs and pushed my legs apart, exposing my ass, and dove onto my hole. I cried out as he began eating my ass, shoving his tongue in me, his lips meeting my opening, both of us wild with need. “Flip around,” I managed, and Luca quickly repositioned himself so he was straddling my head, then grabbed my ass with both hands and went right back to tongue-fucking me. I grabbed his ass too and began sucking his cock, his precum salty on my tongue. I loved the taste of him.

We continued in that lust-driven sixty-nine for a few minutes before Luca quickly repositioned us again, flipping around and pulling me on top of him. “Fuck me, Nicky.” His voice was gravel. I dove for the condoms and put one on quickly, then slicked it with one hand while my other worked more lube into his hole. His cock remained rock hard, precum dripping steadily onto his belly as I lined up my tip with his opening and began to push into him.

I met with resistance and told him, “Bear down, Luca, as if you’re trying to push me back out.” As soon as he did that, he opened up just enough for the tip of my cock to slide into him. “Oh God,” I moaned as I carefully eased myself into his hot, tight hole. It felt so insanely good, but I made myself go slowly.

Luca relaxed underneath me, opening up just enough to let me in, and I held his gaze as I bottomed out in him. He wrapped his legs around my hips as I began to move in him, sliding in and out slowly. The more he opened up, the harder I thrust. “You feel so good,” I told him. I propped myself up with a hand on either side of his head so I could watch his reactions. It was easy to tell when he started enjoying it. He began rocking his hips, milking my cock with his tight ass, his breath coming in short, quick gasps as he grasped the sheets.

I reached between us and began jerking him off as I thrust into him. After several minutes, Luca moaned loudly, rocking his hips even harder, fucking himself with my cock. In the next moment he arched his back and yelled as he came, shooting all over his naked body. As he did that, his already tight ass clamped down on my cock, and that set me off too. I cried out, pushing into him as I filled the condom. I came incredibly hard, my heart pounding and my head spinning, and when it was over, all I could do was collapse on top of him.

Luca’s arms came up to embrace me. We both were gasping for breath, sweating, and shaking. I couldn’t have formed sentences even if I’d wanted to.

When he shifted slightly, my cock slid from his body. He rolled me into the crook of his left arm and peeled off the condom, which he tossed aside before quickly wiping both of us down with the towel. Luca pulled the blanket over us and held me against him, and when I could finally speak I managed, “You okay?”

“Perfect. That was wonderful, Nicky.”

I hugged him tightly. “I was afraid of hurting you.”

“There was no chance of that. You took good care of me.” I felt so content as I fell asleep in his arms.

Life at the house on the cliffs was perfection. I was happier than I’d ever been, happier than I’d even realized was possible. Luca was not only great in bed, he was also a terrific companion. There was no need to go anywhere, since he’d thoroughly stocked the refrigerator and pantry before I arrived, so we spent our days swimming, sunbathing, going for long walks along the coast, and having sex whenever and wherever the mood struck us. For the most part, we stuck with me bottoming, but we did change it up now and then.

Every afternoon, we’d cook dinner together. Luca was slowly gaining some skills and confidence in the kitchen, and it was fun teaching him. Then each evening, we’d make a fire in the huge, white tile fireplace and curl up in the ‘nest’ we’d made by piling a bunch of pillows and blankets on the couch and moving it close to the hearth. We’d talk, or read, or play board games, and I found out Luca was one hell of a chess player, though I gave him a run for his money. I loved that time with him so much. I felt safe and at peace, as if I was exactly where I belonged.

On one of those evenings, ten days into our two-week getaway, I looked up from the book I was reading. My feet were on Luca’s lap and his book rested on my legs, but he wasn’t paying attention to it. Instead, he was watching me, and when I looked up at him he asked quietly, “How committed are you to law school?”

“I plan to see it through.”

“So, you have a couple more years of school ahead of you.”

I nodded. “Why do you ask?”

“I’m wondering how I fit with your plans.”

“Couldn’t you make San Francisco your home base instead of Rome? Your job doesn’t tie you to any one location. You could just as easily do it from California, right?”

He said, “I can’t move to San Francisco.”

“Why not?”

Luca hesitated for a long moment before admitting, “I have too many enemies there.”

That startled me, and I asked, “Why would an art dealer have enemies?”

“Because of the family I was born into.”

“Oh.” I could understand that, actually, given my own family’s mafia legacy, but I was surprised to learn Luca shared a similar reality. “I guess I don’t know what our options are, then.”

“Would you consider transferring to a different school?”

“Sure, but it would take time.” It scared me to ask the next question. “If I did that, what were you imagining, us living together?”

“I’d gladly take that leap. I know you were badly burned by your last relationship, coupled with the fact that you’re already a cautious person, so I’d leave it completely up to you. Just know though that if you want to move in together, I’m all for it. If you just want us in the same city while we keep building our relationship, I’ll go along with that, too. I just need you in my life, Nico.”

I shifted around so I was sitting right beside him and kissed him tenderly before saying, “I need you in mine, too.” That was a huge understatement. I wanted Luca with every part of me, and couldn’t imagine my life without him. In a short time, he’d become incredibly important to me. He made me feel safe and cared for and happier than I’d ever been. I couldn’t tell him all of that, but I hoped it wasn’t actually news to him.

“We’re going to figure this out, Nicky. I promise.” I nodded and kissed him again.

*****

The next morning was glorious and sunny. I awoke early and swam for an hour before showering and starting breakfast. Luca definitely wasn’t an early riser, and he looked adorably disheveled when he stumbled into the kitchen sometime later. I handed him a cup of coffee and said, “Good morning, handsome.”

“I can only assume you’re using that term ironically,” he said, taking the cup from me and flashing me a half-smile. “I must look like the walking dead right about now.”

“You make zombies look good,” I told him, kissing his scruffy cheek before going back to the frittata I was assembling. “We should run into town later. I know we’re only here for a few more days, but this is the last of the produce and the eggs.”

“Not a problem. There’s a village half an hour from here with a nice market. It’s where I bought our supplies when I first arrived.”

“It’s going to be tough to transition back to reality,” I said as I put a chopped onion in a pan to sauté. “I’ve loved living in this little bubble with you, where I have nothing to worry about aside from how to beat you at chess.” It happened rarely, but it
had
happened.

“Shhh,” Luca said, coming up right behind me and sliding his hand over my mouth. “No talking about reality. We have four more blissful days here, maybe a few more if I can talk you into remaining in Malta until the very last minute before classes start.”

I kissed his fingers before he took his hand away and said, “I could easily be persuaded to do that.”

He put his coffee cup down and hugged me while I cooked, resting his head on my shoulder. “Is this my t-shirt?” he asked idly, running a palm down my belly and feeling the soft, black cotton.

“Yup. It’s the one you were wearing yesterday afternoon.”

“It’s so cute when you do that.”

“Raiding your wardrobe?”

“Wrapping yourself in my scent. You never go for the clean stuff in the closet, only the things I’ve worn. It makes me absurdly happy,” he said, and kissed my shoulder.

I chuckled self-consciously and said, “It sounds weird when you put it that way.”

“Now that I’ve pointed it out, don’t stop doing it.”

“No worries there.” I shut off the stove and placed the pan on another burner to cool a bit, then turned and took Luca in my arms. I knew as soon as I kissed him and his hands slid to my ass that breakfast was going to be delayed. I smiled against his lips and pulled him closer.

*****

We made it into town a little before noon and I treated us to cappuccinos at a quaint café, then insisted on buying the next round of groceries. Luca tried to talk me into letting him pay, but I told him as I handed my credit card to the checker, “You’ve already done so much. This is a drop in the bucket compared to what you’ve shelled out over the last week and a half, but at least it lets me feel like I’m contributing in some small way.”

He frowned and said, “But you’re getting into debt for me. You shouldn’t have to do that.”

“Oh believe me, this won’t make a bit of difference, considering how far in debt I already am.” The little frown line between his brows deepened, but he let it go.

When we got back to the house and were putting groceries away, I glanced at Luca and found him staring out the kitchen window, a forgotten bag of apples in his hands. Since he was clearly lost in thought, I didn’t interrupt him and continued loading the refrigerator. A couple minutes later he said quietly, “I wish I could buy this house and stay here forever with you. It’s perfect. There’s just you and me, and yet my life’s never felt fuller. If the rest of the world fell away, I wouldn’t mind one bit. I have everything I need right here.”

*****

Later that night, we were both reading on the couch, bundled up with a fluffy blanket. Luca’s head was on my chest, and his arm was draped across my stomach while I embraced him. He’d put his own book aside and was reading from mine. It was incredibly cozy, and I was filled with a wonderful sense of well-being. I could easily imagine a thousand more nights exactly like this one. I could imagine a lifetime.

It was peaceful, too. The only sounds were the wood crackling in the fireplace and the ever-present rhythm of the waves meeting the shore, muted from our cliff-top vantage point. I’d stopped reading, but kept advancing the pages on my e-reader with a flick of my thumb, because Luca was engrossed in the mystery. Watching him was far more interesting than the story.

The sound of a distant car engine caught my attention after a while. It was always so quiet at the cliff house that it stood out. “Who do you think that could be?” I asked. It was definitely getting closer.

“No clue.”

“I’d better get dressed,” I said as I rolled off the couch, since I wore only a pair of briefs. Luca got up too. He was wearing pajama pants, and put on a hoodie that was draped over the back of a chair.

I went upstairs and pulled on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a crew-neck sweater. By the time I was tying the laces on my sneakers, the car had parked in front of the house. A minute later, I heard yelling outside and rushed back downstairs and out the front door. Luca’s fists were clenched at his sides, and he was facing off against a tall, muscle-bound man of about thirty-five with light brown hair and a square jaw, dressed in a dark suit that seemed barely able to contain his huge shoulders. I looked from one to the other and asked, “What’s going on?”

The large man turned to face me. He seemed familiar, but I didn’t know why. “Get your things,” he said. “You’re coming with me.”

“Like hell I am!” All of a sudden, recognition dawned on me. “You’re Andreo, right? Luca’s brother?” The man nodded, his hazel eyes appraising me, taking in every detail. I flinched under his gaze and asked, “Would someone please tell me what’s going on?” I looked at Luca, who was ashen and staring at the ground. He didn’t move, didn’t respond at all.

Andreo knit his brows. “My brother made a grave mistake by continuing to see you after he learned who you were. I came here to try to talk some sense into him, which of course is proving to be impossible. But perhaps you can be made to understand how dangerous this game is that you’re both playing.”

“You’re making no sense right now,” I said.

“My brother told you who our father is, yes?” Andreo asked. When I shook my head, his frown deepened.

“Please, just tell me what’s going on,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. Luca still hadn’t moved, hadn’t responded. He just kept staring at the ground, a muscle working in his jaw as he ground his teeth.

Andreo’s voice was clipped when he said, “Our father was a man named Sal Natori. I assume you know that name.”

I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. For a long moment, I just stood there, shell-shocked, staring at Andreo. I wanted to believe I’d misheard him, but I knew I hadn’t. Eventually I whispered, my throat dry and tight, “He can’t be.” I turned to Luca for confirmation that this was all a big misunderstanding. Why wouldn’t he look at me? “Your last name is Caruso. I know that for a fact, I’ve seen your passport.”

“He was given his mother’s surname in order to keep him safe from your family,” Andreo said, his voice quieter. “That’s also why our father never married Luca’s mother. They wanted to keep him a secret, so he wouldn’t be a target in the blood feud with the Dombrusos.”

“No way can that be true,” I stammered. “He can’t be the son of the man who murdered my uncle and aunt and their baby daughter in cold blood. Right, Luca?” He turned his face away from me. “You’re not, are you? Tell me you’re not.”

He still wouldn’t look at me. He couldn’t, and that confirmed his brother’s words beyond a doubt. I felt sick. I felt like screaming, or crying, or throwing up. Maybe all three. My voice sounded choked when I asked him, “How could you keep something like that from me?”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

An ice cold feeling of betrayal washed over me. It literally left a bad taste in my mouth, sharp and bitter. “You’re sorry? I trusted you. Do you know how hard it was for me to let you in? And then you keep a secret that big from me?”

Luca turned his back to me, and I took a couple steps backwards, away from him. He felt like a stranger all of a sudden. I looked around me, feeling so lost. It was almost impossible to think clearly when a hundred emotions were flooding me, overwhelming me. I was breathing hard, on the verge of becoming light-headed, my heart pounding in my ears. I looked at Andreo and he said, his voice surprisingly gentle, “Get your things. I’ll take you to the airport.”

Yes. That was what I needed, to go home. I turned and dashed into the house and up the stairs, and grabbed my backpack and wallet with shaking hands. I then ran to the closet and did the fastest packing job of my life, flinging my clothes into my suitcase, stuffing them down and zipping it shut in about thirty seconds flat. It was a mess, but whatever. I just needed to get out of there.

I ran back down the stairs and out of the house, luggage in hand. Luca hadn’t moved from his spot, and he kept his back to me. My heart felt like it was actually breaking.

I ran to the grey sedan Andreo had arrived in, but then I hesitated and looked up at the six-foot-six stranger as he opened the trunk for me. His expression was sympathetic, and he held my gaze steadily. I had to make a decision. Should I really get in the car with the son of Sal Natori?

But then I had to force back a bitter laugh. I’d just spent days alone with his other son. At least Andreo had been honest with me, and it wasn’t like I had a lot of options right then. We were in the middle of nowhere, and the other alternative was letting Luca drive me back to town. Oh
hell
no.

I stuffed the suitcase in the trunk and slammed it shut before getting in the passenger seat and hugging my backpack to my chest. Andreo got behind the wheel and started the engine, and I kept my eyes on the dashboard as we drove off. I didn’t want to watch the house where I’d been so happy disappearing into the night.