All for Maddie (25 page)

“Yeah sure, honey.”

I didn’t get to talk to Maddie, she was napping. Dana too
asked me how I was and informed me that she would have Maddie call when she
woke.

“What did you tell my family?” I yelled, slamming my phone
down.

“Whit, stop it. I thought maybe you went there last night.
Your dad is just worried about you. You’re fine now calm down.”

“You knew I didn’t go there. You knew I was with Matt.
Didn’t you, Alex?”

“Do you want to go shopping for Maddie?”

“No. Shop for what?”

“A new Easter dress. We’re having dinner at my parents
Sunday.”

I did want to do that. If I didn’t he would do it, and then
I would be mad because I didn’t get to pick it out and would hate it.

“I’ll go with Regan.”

“It’s Good Friday, Whit. Regan is spending the day with her
family. Get ready and we’ll get out of this house today and go shopping.”

“I want to go talk to Matt.”

“No. You’re not talking to Matt.”

“You can’t tell me what to do, Alex. I’m not your property. Hell,
I don’t even like you. What did you tell him? Why did I just get fired from the
job that I needed?”

“You don’t need that job. You need to be here with Maddie.”

“I’ve always worked. I can’t just sit around here and do
nothing. What did you tell Matt?” I asked again.

“I just told him how things were. How you’re not exactly
stable right now, how you took my daughter on Christmas morning with a fever
and ran away.”

“I’m not stable? You fucking tricked me into signing over
custody of my daughter. You think you’re stable?”

“You know, Whit. If you marry me that all goes out the
window. Your rights are instantly validated.”

And I was the unstable one…. “Marry you? You’re the one that
needs medication.”

Alex laughed. “Let’s get ready and go shopping. I’ll buy you
a new dress for Easter too. I think you look amazing in red. Maybe we’ll go to
the Castle and find Maddie something for her birthday.”

“I already know what I am getting Maddie, and you don’t wear
red on Easter.” I pouted, pushing my half empty plate of spaghetti away.

“I know, that’s all she talks about, but that thing is
nothing but cheap plastic. Let’s go to the Castle and by her a real zoo.” 

“What the hell is the castle?”

“It’s the most amazing toy store you’ve ever seen in your
life. I wanted to take you there at Christmas, but you wanted to do all of your
shopping with my trouble making sister.”

“She’s not the trouble maker,” I assured him. He laughed.
“Besides, I like her a whole lot more than I like you.”

I knew that I had no choice. I may as well stop trying to
get my life back. I was never going to have my own life with my daughter again.
Alex would never allow it. I was finished, and I wasn’t sure if I had anymore
fight in me.

“Hello,” I said, answering Dana’s call.

“Papaw’s gonna buy me a new fish a day.” I smiled, hearing
Maddie’s voice. I wanted to take her and run away from all this mess. I
couldn’t. I would never succeed in that mission. I knew it, knowing I wouldn’t
try again.

“Hi, baby. I miss you.”

“You want to come and buy a fish too?”

“No, mommy can’t. What are you going to name your fish?” I
asked, knowing that it was going to be Nemo.

“Um, I name him Tweety Bird,” she replied, surprising me.

I talked to Maddie for a whole three minutes before she
asked about her dad.

“Where my daddy go?”

“Daddy’s here,” I said, looking up to Alex. I hated that she
loved him so much. I wanted her to hate him too.

“I tell him I buy a fish.”

“Okay, baby. I love you. I’ll see you in a couple days,
okay?”

“How many sleeping days?”

“Two, baby.”

I handed Alex my phone and left him to get dressed.

Alex didn’t take me into Lincoln, the way I presumed he
would. He took me over an hour and a half a way to Omaha. It was nearly four in
the evening by the time we got there. He tried to engage in meaningless
conversation with me. I ignored him. This wasn’t a date. I answered his
questions with yes, no, or I don’t know, never giving any more information.

We went to a place called Trinity first. It was three stories
of nothing but designer clothing. I wanted the first pastel pink dress that I
saw. I’m sure my eyes showed it. It was adorable and would look so cute on
Maddie. I hated it once I saw that it was over two hundred dollars. She was
three. She would wear it once. I put it back and moved on.

“You don’t like this?” Alex said, picking it up as I placed
it back where it could stay until the next sucker came along. “She would look
absolutely adorable in this.”

“She’s three. I’m not buying that.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t like it,” I lied. If I told him it cost too
much he would just overpower me and buy it anyway, which is exactly what he
did. He held onto it and told me that I could pick something else, but he had
to get her that dress. I didn’t pick anything else. She was only going to wear
that one once. What was the point in buying two dresses that she wouldn’t wear?
I swore that man had no concept of money.

I picked out the too expensive shoes and little lace socks.
I was hoping to get out of there and move on to the toy store that I also knew
was going to be expensive. Alex wouldn’t let me. He made me take the escalator
to next floor to shop for a dress for myself. I didn’t want to, but of course I
did what he wanted. That was my life. Do what Alex wants and maybe people
wouldn’t think I was crazy.

I did pick a red dress, refusing to look at the price tag. I
didn’t want new shoes, I had a pair that would go perfect with the dress. Alex
insisted that I buy shoes. I did against my will, secretly loving them. I
wasn’t about to let him know that though. We moved onto the third floor where I
did see the price tag of Alex’s new suit. I could have made my house payment
with what he spent on his suit alone. Oh wait, I didn’t have a house payment or
a house.

His suit had to be fitted and then altered. I couldn’t
believe the two men that were sucking up to him. It was sickening.

“What do you think, Mrs. Wesson?” Alex asked, turning to me.

“Oh no, don’t you even start that,” I demanded, not caring
about the spectators waiting for my reaction. My reaction was confused. Had it
not been Alex, I’m sure I would have been checking him out. He was undeniably
hot. He needed a haircut, but the sophistication that bled from his persona was
irrefutable.

He laughed. “Do you like the suit? How about the pink tie?
Will it match with you and Maddie okay?”

“The tie is fine. The suit is fine. Can we go? I’m hungry.”

Alex laughed and turned his attention back to the two men,
sucking up to him. “Can you have it altered and sent to the Marriott this
evening?”  

“Marriott?” I asked. He ignored me.
Son of a bitch
. He
was taking me to a hotel. I was glad that I was in jeans. At least I wouldn’t
be expected to go out to some romantic dinner with him.

“Alex, no, this is ridiculous,” I protested as we walked
around the massive zoo display from the Castle. It was ludicrous. I thought the
cheap one that I wanted to get her was expensive. This thing came assembled on
a huge round table with a split in the middle so that she could reach every part
of the zoo. It also came with a three thousand dollar price tag.

“You can’t tell me this thing isn’t the coolest zoo you’ve
ever seen,” he argued. “Look at this aquarium, she will love this. And look at
all the people. I want this.” His excitement was what I imagined Maddie’s to
be.

“Alex, she will be happy with the one from the magazine. I
assure you, she’ll love it.”

“Can I get this delivered and setup?” he turned asking the
salesman, of course ignoring my objections.

“Absolutely, sir. Would you like to see some accessories?”

“Yes,” Alex replied. Another three hundred dollars later we
had bunnies, jeeps, flowerpots, fake food, trollies, food stands, you name it.
If it was in a zoo, Maddie was going to have it. That thing cost more than my
truck. It was unfathomable. I was the twenty-one year old irresponsible one. I was
supposed to be the one to waste money, not him.

“Will you stop pouting? It’s only money. What’s the point in
having it if you don’t spend it?” Alex asked back in the car, heading to God
only knew where. I knew where. I just wasn’t saying a word about it. If he
wanted to go to a hotel room and be ignored. I could do that.

“Just drop it, Alex. It doesn’t matter what I say. You’re
going to disregard it anyway.”

“Why do you think I don’t care about what you say? I care
very much about how you feel.”

I replied with a grunt. Sure he did. I didn’t even try to
protest the elaborate hotel. I walked in front of him as he held the door for
me and led me to the fifth floor. I should have known. I should have known we
wouldn’t be ordering pizza and staying in.

“Get ready. We have an eight o’clock dinner reservation.”

“I’m a little confused here, Alex,” I admitted, looking at
the black evening gown carefully laid out on the king size bed for me.

“About?”

“You didn’t just decide to do this today, did you?” It
didn’t make sense. I had some sort of mental or drug induced breakdown not even
twenty-four hours ago. He surely wouldn’t have planned this on the spur of the
moment after that. Would he?

“No, I’ve had it planned for a couple weeks now.”

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to take you out and show you a good time.
Is there something wrong with that?”

“I’m not having a good time.”

He smiled and took a step toward me. “How about you try to
have a good time. I’m not such a bad guy. Really, I’m not.”

I snorted. I wasn’t even going there. I bit my tongue trying
not to remind him of our first meeting or any of the other stuff that he had
done over the past few months.

“Can I drink?”

He laughed. “You can have a couple drinks. You can’t get
drunk.”

“What’s the point in drinking if you don’t get drunk?”

“Go take a shower and get ready,” he demanded.

            I did as I was told and
showered against my will. I had no makeup, no curling iron, and no perfume. All
I had was a beautiful gown that I didn’t want to wear.

            Alex wasn’t in the room
when I emerged wearing the hotel robe and griping about not wanting to go to
some fancy restaurant. Two young ladies had a whole table setup with everything
needed to make a girl pretty. I should have been shocked, but I really wasn’t.
This was just like Alex. I wasn’t surprised a bit.

I sat in the chair and let the two women make me over. I
didn’t want to wear my hair down. I liked it up but I wasn’t given a choice.
They never asked me about anything, not even the dark eye liner with the smoke
gray shades on my eyelids. I was starving I hadn’t had anything all day except
for Alex’s spaghetti. They were taking forever. I didn’t even argue when my
robe was untied and I was handed the sexiest set of under garments that I had
ever worn. What the hell was he up to? He was never going to see me in them.

Oh my God, I thought as I looked in the mirror. I couldn’t
go out looking like this. It didn’t even look like me. I loved my hair. I loved
the dress. I loved the heels and even the expensive perfume. It just wasn’t me.
I wasn’t comfortable showing this much skin. The back had a circle cut out and
dipped low. The slit running up my leg ran all the way up. I wasn’t about to
leave the room looking like that. My phone beeped. I read the text message.

THE CAR IS READY. MEET ME IN THE LOBY
.  

ALEX!!! NO!!! I CAN’T.

Of course he didn’t reply. Why would he. That wasn’t Alex.

I took one more glance in the mirror. I wanted something
over my bare shoulders. I wondered what Alex would say if I came down in my
jean jacket. I laughed a nervous laugh thinking about it and took the matching
handbag from one of the ladies, leaving the jean jacket behind.

Alex was standing just outside the elevator when I stepped
out. His eyes scanned my body as I walked toward him. Where the hell did he get
a suit and tie? Better question: where did he get dressed? I kept my eyes on
his, trying not to scan his body too. I didn’t want to come off like that, but
damnit all the way to hell, did he ever look good.

“Don’t even look at me like that, Alex. What the hell are
you doing?”

“I would tell you to stop cussing like that, because you
look too pretty to be angry, but FUCK, Whitley, you’re breathtaking.”

“That’s because I’m hungry,” I replied. I couldn’t think of
anything else to say. He smelled as good as he looked. I was distracted. I
couldn’t think clear.

I jerked my arm away when he tried to loop his through mine,
giving him a stern glare, looking up as he smirked with that half grin amused
at me. Ah hell, I was doomed. I couldn’t drink. That’s all there was to it. I
had to stay away from alcohol. I was sure I’d be taking my clothes off for him
if I didn’t.

“You’re bipolar or something,” I accused, sliding into the
limousine. Really…a limousine?

He laughed and sat across from me. I didn’t want him in
front of me. I wanted him on the same side, clear against the door. I didn’t
want to be forced to stare at him. He was causing something that I didn’t want.
What the hell is wrong with me? The man took my child. I hated him. He wouldn’t
be touching me tonight or any night. I turned my eyes out the dark tinted
window and then right back to him when the soft piano music started.

“What are you up to, Alex?” I asked in some sort of soft
seductive tone. Where the hell did that come from? I’m not sure where or who’s
voice it even was, but I heard it loud and clear in my own mind.
You’ve got
his attention…Use it.
What did that even mean? Use it?