All Fall Down (38 page)

I could not give her the truth—not the whole truth, at any rate. My feelings for Shaine of Donnishold were my own concern, and I would not burden her with them. “This is how the life of a physician of the Golden Palm is ordered. I am a free woman, and I must return to the work for which I was trained. I did not leave ere this because I wanted to make sure we were all out of danger, and then travel still would have been treacherous because of the weather. But now spring is here, and I can tarry in Donnishold no longer.”

She nodded, although I saw her bite her lip and look away, her eyes unable to meet mine. I suppose I had been her mainstay during all her months here—with me gone, there would be no one to protect her. Not that I expected any ill to come to her, but the life of a slave is a difficult thing even in a household as civilized as Lord Shaine’s, and of course she did not know what was next intended for her.

Speaking more gently than I thought I could manage, given the circumstances, I said, “I will speak with Lord Shaine before I leave, tell him of the good work you are doing in the stillroom. I am certain he will allow you to remain in the house, and not go to the fields.”

Obviously this was the fear that had been preying on her, for she grasped my hands then and breathed, “Oh, thank you, Mistress Merys! It is too much—but if you would!”

I assured her that I would see she was taken care of. Then I picked up my satchel and left to descend the stairs for what I guessed would be the last time.

Despite the early hour, I found Lord Shaine in the hall before me, Markh the overseer at his elbow. Spring was a busy time at the estate, what with the preparation of the fields, the plowing, the sorting of the seed. No wonder Shaine had been up even before me. Of Brahn, however, there was no sign.

“Mistress,” Lord Shaine said formally. I had expected no less, but still that painful tightness rose up in my throat, and suddenly I found it difficult to reply.

“Good morning, Lord Shaine,” I managed, and somehow gathered the strength to force a few breaths into my lungs.
 

“Eager to be away?” he inquired then, with a glance down at my satchel.

That was not the word I would have used. Rather, I had approached my departure as any other unpleasant task—something I wanted to get over with quickly. “It is always best to get an early start when one is faced with a long ride.”

“Ah. Yes, I suppose it is. You may take Surefoot with you—he is a good and sturdy mount, and will bear you safely home.”

“Thank you, my lord.” I replied. That was all I trusted myself to say, for although I appreciated the gesture, it seemed only another means for him to rid himself of me as quickly as possible.

“It is the least I can do, considering the service you have rendered here.”
 

As he spoke, I thought I glimpsed the slightest flicker in his eyes, the smallest tightening of his mouth. Was he regretting his coldness to me over the past few weeks? Impossible to say, and I did not have the strength to press the issue. A clean break always heals the easiest.

Then I heard Brahn’s voice as he called out, “Good morrow, Lord Shaine—and Mistress Merys. Ready for the journey, I see!”

I looked away from Shaine and saw Brahn descending the last few steps into the hall, the pert Alinne darting away with a giggle. No mystery as to where she had spent her night. I had the feeling she might regret those hours of pleasure. While Lord Shaine did not meddle in the affairs of the slaves, it was quite another thing for one of them to take a tumble with an honored guest while under his roof.
 

“We have a long day ahead of us,” I said simply, choosing to ignore Alinne, who had already slipped off to the kitchen.
 

“Ah, that is true enough,” he agreed, although he appeared less than eager to be off. Most likely he would have preferred to stay a night or so more to enjoy Donnishold’s “hospitality” before he set forth again.
 

“Allow me to send a guard with you, to see you safely to the border,” Shaine said then, and I noted yet another of those diffident glances before he shifted slightly toward Brahn.

“No need of that, my lord. As I said, most of the population appears to be gone. There are always some few survivors, of course, but I encountered no one bold enough to approach me. And of course, I took my own precautions.” And his hand rested briefly on the long dagger he wore at his waist.
 

Some of the Order did ride armed. I had never done so, save for the knife I used to cut my meat—although I supposed in a pinch my scalpels could have also served as weapons.
 

Lord Shaine nodded, but his eyes narrowed slightly, as if he were not wholly convinced. He said nothing more, however, but only bade us accompany him to the table, where we broke our fast together on fresh bread and honey and some of the last rashers of bacon. What we spoke of, to this day I cannot recall—inconsequential things, I believe, the weather, and the condition of the roads. I said very little, glad that Brahn loved the sound of his own voice so much. It saved me from having to put forth much effort.

Afterward the horses were brought around, and we were given packs filled with as much food as Donnishold’s larders could spare. Lord Shaine said only, “Goddess go with you, Merys, and guide you on your journey.”

I believe I mumbled some thanks before I turned the horse around. The courtyard dissolved into a wash of tears, and I blinked against the brisk wind as we rode forth, glad the horse knew his way, for I was unable to guide him. I could only sit in the saddle as each step took me farther from Donnishold, farther from the man I loved.
 

I did not allow myself to look back.

Blessedly, we rode for some time before Brahn spoke. “You must be glad to be away, Mistress Merys.”

I blinked, and kept my face forward as I replied, “Brahn, there’s no need for the ‘Mistress.’”

He chuckled. “Very well, then, Merys. What an ordeal that must have been for you!”

Oh, yes, quite the ordeal, although that which had caused me the most suffering was a matter I would never discuss with him. “It was…trying…at times.”

“Trying!” The word came out as almost a snort, and his mount tossed its head a little at the sound. He patted the mare’s neck. “Only you, Merys, could describe living through the plague while a slave at a Selddish estate as ‘trying.’”

“I was not a slave,” I said at once. “Lord Shaine freed me on Midwinter Night.”

“He did, eh? Why?”

“I had saved his life, and the life of his daughter. I suppose he thought he owed me that much.”

“Never knew a Selddishman to be so honorable. Daughter, eh?” Brahn shot me a sideways, silver-tinted glance. “I didn’t see her.”

“She died of the plague,” I said shortly, almost biting out the words.
 

He appeared to take the hint and looked off into the distance. We rode at an easy pace, for we had a long way to go, and no place to obtain fresh horses if we tired these ones overmuch. Despite my heartache, I could not help glancing about me, as this was the first time I had ventured farther than a few hundred yards outside Donnishold’s walls since the plague had swept over the countryside.

Truly it did seem as if Lord Shaine’s estate was an island of life in an ocean of desolation. I saw no other human soul, and not even signs of life such as smoke rising from chimneys. From time to time I spotted the bones of plague victims along the side of the road or lying in a field; the birds had long since stripped the flesh away. And I saw as well the skeletons of horses and cattle, who must have perished in the harsh winter weather with no one to care for them.
 

The enormity of it all came to me then, and I felt once again the useless tears stinging at my eyes. What good would my tears do, after all? Weeping would not Brahng back the dead. I wondered, though, how Seldd could ever continue after such devastation. We had heard nothing, so I did not know whether the king and his family survived. I did know that Myalme had been decimated, but the true seat of government was farther north and west, in Tyrlanne, and perhaps it had fared better than the regions of the country closer to the disease as it spread out from Purth.
 

Despite all that, the day was finer than it had any right to be—birds called riotously from all sides, and wildflowers blossomed in yellow and blue and pale pink from either side of the roadway. The land would heal, although whether its population could manage to do the same was still unknown.

From behind us I heard a dull thudding sound, and at first could not guess what it might be. Then it resolved itself into the rhythm of a horse being ridden at a hard gallop, and Brahn cried out, “Someone is coming!” He dug his heels into his horse’s sides, spurring her to a gallop, and after a brief hesitation, during which I finally understood that anyone coming toward us in such a fashion most likely meant no good, I did the same.

We had barely picked up speed, however, before I heard a familiar voice call out, “Merys!”

I yanked on the reins, so abruptly that my mount half-reared. Somehow I managed to cling to the saddle and then wheel the horse around, so that I faced Lord Shaine.

His own stallion breathed hard, flanks shining with sweat. They must have ridden the whole way at a gallop.

Uncertainly, I said, “My lord?”

By that point Brahn had stopped as well and had begun to turn his horse toward us. He was still almost a furlong away, however.

Blue eyes met mine, and held. Shaine opened his mouth, paused, shook his head, and then spurred his horse closer. “Call me a fool, Merys.”

“I would never do that, my lord.” Somehow I kept my voice steady, but an unreasoning joy had begun to blossom in my heart. Surely there must be only one reason why he had ridden after us.
 

“If you will not, then I must.” His gaze did not waver. “I have been a fool all these weeks, and all because I did not want to accept what fate had sent my way. I have wronged you, and I will understand if you cannot forgive me. But when I watched you ride off, it was as if the truth of my heart was finally revealed, and I knew I could not live without you. Don’t leave me, Merys. Tell me you’ll stay.”

Somehow words seemed inadequate. Instead, I leapt down from my horse and ran toward him, even as he dismounted as well. And then I was in his arms, feeling them around me in an embrace I thought I would never know, as his mouth rained down kisses on my hair, my cheeks, my brow. And his mouth was on mine, and my body pressed against his, as an astonished Brahn paused a few feet away and stared at us in bemusement.

At last I regained my breath and pulled away—just a little—so I could meet his eyes as I gave him my answer. What would come next I did not know, but one thing was truer than all the rest, and it was that I loved him, and he, by some miracle, had realized he loved me in return. As the goddess told me once, love must be the guide.

“Yes, Shaine of Donnishold,” I said. “Oh, yes, I will stay with you.”

The End

Other Books by Christine Pope Available at Barnes & Noble

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