All About Me (29 page)

“
I know that this sounds bad, but I
’
m glad that Christian is dead. I can
’
t imagine how my life would have turned out if that accident had not happened.
”

I nod because I know exactly what she is talking about. It
’
s like a heavy load had been lifted off both our shoulders when he crashed that car.

“
Maybe this is bad timing, but I don
’
t want to hide anymore,
”
I say.
“
My mother told me some stuff, about her past and my father.
”
 

“
Your mother didn
’
t have an easy life. I know that you might disagree because of the way she treated you.
”

“
He beat her up and raped her
—
and nine months later I was born. That
’
s why she treated me the way she did. It was her illness, yes, but that
’
s an additional reason.
”

India stops playing with her fork and looks at me with those large eyes that are full of regret and worry.

“
Oliver, how
…
oh, my God.
”

I tense my jaw, looking at the love of my life as she finally starts putting all the pieces together. Yeah, it all started because my father was a wanker. He infected my brother with his shit.
“
I just wanted to tell you so it
’
s all in the open. We are both honest now. She hated me because she couldn
’
t hate anyone else.
”

“
What you did to me was horrible, but I owe you an apology.
”

“
No,
”
I say, pushing my plate forward, trying to stay calm and collected.
“
You don
’
t need to apologise. That fucker shouldn
’
t have touched you.
”

“
Let
’
s not talk about this. Your father is dead, so your mother doesn
’
t need to remember. Christian is in the past. That
’
s it. You organised this trip especially for me. I didn
’
t want to give you another chance. You need to know that Russell isn
’
t just a stopgap and I
’
m going to sort things between us. He was there for me when you hurt me the most.
”

“
I
’
m sorry. I don
’
t know how many times I have to tell you.
”

“
Stop apologising. I
’
ve heard enough. It
’
s all going be fine from now on, but I don
’
t know what you expect.
”

“
I just want us be friends, that
’
s all.
”

“
I
’
m happy with that arrangement, but the questions is
—
can you tolerate another man in my life?
”

I tense my jaw, trying to eat my food.
“
Why wouldn
’
t I? Of course. That
’
s what friendship is about.
”

Yeah, she is right. It
’
s going to be fucking hard to accept that India doesn
’
t belong to me. I can tell that she is scared of what
’
s going to happen to us. The next couple of weeks will tell how I
’
m imagining my relationship with her. Evans is going to be there. He cares for her and I have no right to demand that she give me another shot when it comes to a relationship. I have to show her that her new love doesn
’
t bother me at all, even if I
’
m dying inside.

Chapter Twenty-eight

Vacationers.

Present

Our main courses finally arrive and for a while we enjoy delicious fish courses, ditching the uncomfortable subject. Within a few minutes, an older Italian man approaches our table, playing a guitar and singing a romantic tune. The restaurant is busy, but all of a sudden everyone stops eating to listen to his magical music. India smiles, relaxing even more, and the stranger enchants the whole restaurant with his deep voice. The food is mouthwatering and in the end we both try at least three different desserts with a couple more drinks.

It
’
s late when we get back to the hotel. Under our hotel door is a little note from Michael about an early start tomorrow. Then we both go to our separate beds, but I
’
m not tired and I know that India is not either. Outside I hear the busy road. It sounds like Italy doesn
’
t fall asleep even in the evening. I want to get up and slide into bed with her, but I know that this would completely contradict everything I said earlier on. Her feelings are the most important and I can
’
t screw this up again. I fall asleep eventually, knowing that I have to make more of an effort. She won
’
t see me as a changed man otherwise.

When morning arrives, I wake up refreshed and ready for another day of adventure, but India isn
’
t in the room. I slept like a baby last night and she probably didn
’
t want to wake me, so she went for breakfast on her own. It
’
s just after nine when I dress, wondering how to make this day special for her.

Most people from our group are already in the restaurant. India is sitting amongst a few girls, talking and laughing. I load my plate with lots of yummy meat and anything that I haven
’
t tried yet and sit by a few blokes I sort of know. India gives me a smile and I wink at her, knowing that it
’
s just a matter of time. Her attitude towards me has already shifted.

“
Okay, ladies and gentleman, listen up. It
’
s a busy day, so I don
’
t want to repeat myself,
”
Michael says, as I
’
m stuffing my face with food. Even in the morning, everything is so fresh.

 
Michael talks about the day ahead of us. The bus will take us to downtown Palermo, where we will meet our guide. The plan is to see as much as we can and taste even more delicious food.
  

“
Morning, sleeping beauty,
”
India teases me as we get back to the room.

“
Morning. I see that you
’
re making friends.
”

She caught some sun yesterday and looks very sexy wearing white shorts and a short top that shows off her cleavage.

“
Lidia and Chloe invited me over to a party. They are going to the club later on.
”

“
In that case, I
’
m going to invite myself along.
”

She frowns, so I quickly add,
“
Someone needs to keep an eye on you ladies. Palermo is the heart of the mafia.
”

“
I
’
m sure we will be fine.
”

“
I
’
ll be there as your own personal bodyguard.
”
I chuckle, sending her my classic wink that normally can bring any girl to my side, but India doesn
’
t look too happy with the fact that I insist on going with them. There is no way on this earth that I
’
m letting her go alone to downtown Palermo clubbing. It
’
s still a foreign city and danger awaits at every corner. We don
’
t have a chance to discuss anything because we have to pack and meet outside with the rest of the group in five minutes.

The mornings are the worst because I keep waking up with a constant hard-on. I try to tell myself that we are not together, but my dick twitches every time she touches me.

As I suspected, the day ahead of us is fucking busy. This time our guide is male, a quite good-looking one, so all the girls are melting as he starts talking. He isn
’
t very popular amongst us men. Shortly after that we all get squeezed into a smaller bus without air conditioning, and we visit Monreale Norman Cathedral, Stanze al Genio, Santa Maria dell'Ammiraglio (La Martorana), Palazzo Chiaramonte, Monte Pellegrino and many other sites. After two o
’
clock, I lose count of the places we are seeing. My camera is full of snaps of India. I love travelling and seeing different places, but our day is a little too hectic for my liking. Palermo has too much to offer. India looks impressed, trying to take as many pictures as she can. We have a light bite to eat later on before getting back to the bus. It
’
s after six when we get back to the hotel and everyone is pretty much knackered. My legs are fucking aching and I want to spend the rest of the evening with a cold lager on the terrace or having a long nap.

“
How about a small nap before your clubbing idea?
”
I ask, as we come back in the room.
 

“
Yeah, that was pretty exhausting.
”

I take my shoes and move.
“
Come here sexy, cuddle with me. I promise not to try anything,
”
I suggest.

She looks at me for a long time, probably contemplating if it
’
s a good idea; then she takes her dress off and slides inside my sheets, wearing only a white bra and knickers. I can hear her heartbeat as her body teases mine. We stay like that until she falls asleep, but I
’
m hard and it is so much trouble. She fits perfectly against my body and I want to have her right now.

I don
’
t know how I
did it,
but eventually the exhaustion from the heat and the day takes over and I fall asleep as I listen to her even breaths.

We don
’
t wake up in time to go out. From what I hear the next day, the girls tried to knock on our door, but we were fast asleep, so we didn
’
t hear them. I wake up sometime in the early morning with a body on top of me. For a split second I have no idea that I
’
m moving my hands over bare legs, thinking that I
’
m still dreaming. India
’
s sweet perfume reaches me, making my heart beat faster. My body goes rigid as I realise that between our naked bodies there is only a thin layer of clothing. My heart skips a beat as I inhale.

She is flat out spread over me and my cock is pressed against the entrance to her core. I
’
m breathing heavily, and then out of nowhere she wakes up staring at me, surprised.

“
Oliver, what are you doing in my bed?
”

I laugh.
“
You
’
re actually in my bed. We fell asleep and we didn
’
t wake up to go out clubbing,
”
I tell her while still holding her close between my legs. She is hot and I want to make love to her deep and slow until she begs me to stop. She doesn
’
t move for a long time tensing her body and taking rigid breaths. My head swims with images and memories of her lips pressed against mine.

Before I do something that I
’
m going to regret later, I flip her next to me and jump out of bed, disappearing into the bathroom. I run my hands through my hair, breathing hard. Falling asleep together was a bad idea and now I need a cold shower. If it wasn
’
t for the fact that I made a commitment to her, I
’
d have taken advantage of the situation in bed already. She is so sexy and turns me on, but I have to stick to my original plan. Friendship, that
’
s all I
’
m aiming for.

I have a cold shower in the middle of the night. India has her lamp on when I come back to the room. Surprise, surprise; I thought that she would be sleeping.

“
Are you all right?
”
I ask her, sitting on the bed.

“
So you
’
re serious about us being friends? You really are okay with me dating Russell?
”

Fuck, why does she need to keep asking me this? I want to roar that I
’
m not, that I don
’
t want that fucker even touching her, but this won
’
t get me anywhere. We tried being in a relationship and I failed. Now I want her to understand that it
’
s her decision. If she chose to leave Evans for me then, yeah, I would be in fucking heaven; otherwise I can go with the friendship.

“
India, I
’
m happy with whatever you want,
”
I sigh.

“
He didn
’
t want to talk to me earlier on.
”

“
Yeah, I get it. He is probably still pissed off with what happened.
”

“
He is a nice guy.
”

I don
’
t say anything to that. India switches off the light and goes to sleep. I sit on my bed, clenching my fists. I bloody know that Evans is decent, but that doesn
’
t make me feel any fucking better. Maybe she is surprised that I didn
’
t go ahead and kiss her earlier on. Either way, I have a boner. I know that I won
’
t sleep anymore tonight. We both keep tossing and turning and eventually get back to sleep just after six in the morning.

The next day, after a very delicious breakfast, we are leaving Palermo behind and driving towards Tempio Di Sagesta. India is sitting next to me, but she has barely spoken to me all morning. Things are a little tense between us and I think it
’
s something to do with the phone call India took this morning. I heard her briefly arguing with Evans. He doesn
’
t like that India is with me in Italy, and I don
’
t blame him.