Alienated (22 page)

“I discovered a problem,” he told her, “two weeks ago—something your government has been hiding from you for years. My ambassador asked me to keep it to myself, but I think you deserve to know.” He quickly clarified, “Only you, though. Nobody else can find out, or it would incite panic.”

While Cara pulled a pillow onto her lap and hugged it, he told her everything he’d learned about the growth particles affecting Earth’s water supply…with two major omissions: that mankind’s survival was contingent on the alliance and that the contamination had spread worldwide.

She sat there in silence a while, then asked, “Are you sure? I mean, I can’t believe nobody else has noticed.”

“Some humans
have
noticed. It’s just been covered up.” He took her hand, which had grown cold, and pressed it between both of his to warm it. “At first, I didn’t believe it, either. I took two more samples before I contacted the ambassador.”

“And you’re positive L’eihrs can fix it, right?”

“Absolutely,” he promised. “It’ll be easier than manipulating the weather.”

“Are they going to start working on it soon?” With her free hand, she rubbed the cotton fabric of her pillowcase between her fingers. “Ten years might sound like a while, but why not nip it in the bud now?”

“They’ve already put together an action plan.” Which, Aelyx supposed, wasn’t a total lie. “There’s nothing to worry about, but we can’t tell anyone.” He delivered a pointed look. “You understand, right?”

“Totally.” And then she said something that twisted his heart. “You can trust me.”

If only the reverse were true.

“Wait.” There was one thing Cara didn’t understand—why did Aelyx’s guilt cause him to push her away? “In a nutshell, you blew me off because you felt horrible over a small contamination that L’eihrs can fix with a snap of their fingers?”

A flicker of surprise sparked behind his gaze. When he parted his lips to speak and nothing came out, she knew he was stalling for an excuse.

“Don’t,” she ordered. In the past few months, she’d suspected he was in trouble. What about all those trips into the woods? Maybe he’d gotten caught breaking a rule. Maybe his leaders were waiting back home with that horrible electric whip. “Tell me what’s going on. No more hiding. What did you do?”

He shook his head frantically and swore, “Nothing. I told you—”

“Just stop.” She tried blocking his words with her palm. “I’m tired of your lies.”

“They’re not lies,” he argued. “Why can’t you believe me?”

“How do I know what to believe?” As long as he was keeping things from her, she had no way of trusting him or knowing how he really felt about her. If their brains were more compatible, she could delve inside his mind for the truth, but so far, all she’d managed to do was hear his painfully loud voice inside her head. That was no help to her now. “I’m not a L’eihr. I can’t just use telepathy and know what you’re thinking.”

Realization dawned in his eyes and he scooted forward, reaching for her.

She tensed. “What’re you doing?”

He took her face between his hands and refused to let go. Peering deeply at her, he whispered, “This is how I feel every time I’m with you.”

She wasn’t prepared for what came next. A split-second rush of chest-swelling desire inflated her lungs, lifting her rib cage until her body felt melded with his. Sensations of devotion and tenderness flashed through her in an instant, forcing her to exhale or burst. Every inch of her skin flashed hot and prickled into gooseflesh while her heart fluttered like hummingbird wings. Her limbs lightened, and she grasped two handfuls of his shirt to stay grounded. It was both terrifying and glorious in its intensity.

It was love.

The dull ache at her temples barely registered. All her doubts vanished.
Oh my God, he loves me.

“You love me,” she repeated aloud. The breathy words tasted sweeter than icing on her tongue.

“Is it really that hard to believe?”

“Do it again!”

“No.” He smiled and kissed the tip of her nose. “It’s your turn.”

She let out a snort that would have embarrassed her had she not just catapulted over the moon with joy. “I love you, too, but that’s pretty anticlimactic compared to Silent Speech.”

His answering smile lit him up so beautifully it almost hurt to look at him. “Not to me.”

“Then I love you.” She twirled one finger around a loose tendril of his hair and unfastened his leather cord to comb her fingers through the soft strands. “Now show me more.”

“But you might get a headache.”

She reclined against a heap of pillows and turned her body to face him. “Do it again.”

He nodded, peering deeply into her eyes while his warm breath stirred against her lips. Soon she felt the same rush of emotion as before, the same warm tingles bubbling across her flesh.

“Mmm.” Closing her eyes, she held on to the sensation, treasuring it before it melted away. “That’s worth a thousand headaches.”

When she glanced at Aelyx again, he was watching her with a new hunger that loosed a swarm of fireflies inside her belly. She’d seen that look before, and she knew what it meant. Curling one hand around his neck, she pulled him down, expecting a slow kiss. Instead, his mouth came hard against her and melted her bones.

They picked up where they’d left off weeks ago as if no time had passed, and within minutes, both their shirts lay in a heap on the floor.

She wrapped one leg around his waist and let her hands explore the smooth planes of his back, and he responded in turn, moving his palm up the length of her ribs.

His breaths were deep and shuddering now. A few moments later, he tipped their heads together, squeezed his eyes shut, and chanted, “Silicone, phosphorous, sulfur, um…chlorine.” Then, wrinkling his forehead in concentration, “Um…argon…um…”

“Potassium?” she offered, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m sorry.” Eyes still closed, he shook his head. “We have to stop for a minute.”

“Why?”

“Because there aren’t enough elements.”

This was nothing like the times with Eric, who was always pressuring her for more. For the first time she
did
want more—but she wanted it with Aelyx and no one else. She’d never felt so desperate to be close to someone.

“I don’t want you to stop,” she said, then kissed his chest. “But we probably should. It’s too soon, don’t you think?”

He wrapped one arm around her shoulders and drew her nearer. “I don’t know. It’s kind of hard to think right now.”

She understood the feeling. “It’s just, I’ve never…uh…”
Done this before, and I’m a little scared.
Why was it so hard to say it out loud?

“Me neither.” He hesitated a moment before adding, “Do you think…” He met her gaze, a question in his eyes.

She shook her head. “Not yet.”

“Okay,” he replied simply. No pouting, no whining, no guilt trips.

God, she loved this boy. She hugged him tighter to show how much.

They lay in contented silence a while, Cara listening to the slow, steady beat of his heart and Aelyx raining occasional kisses atop her head. Eventually, the recent sleepless nights caught up with her and she drifted off, wrapped in his arms.

She dreamed of floating in black space, hand-in-hand with Aelyx as the pinpricks of distant stars winked all around them. She snapped her fingers and an angel nebula swirled into view, tentacles of twinkling light permeating the darkness like a glowing specter. At her command, a sleek ship appeared, a floating colossus to jettison her to a new home, but just as she reached for the hatch, a thumping echo pulled her back toward Earth. Aelyx disappeared, and then she was falling, falling, falling while the noise grew louder inside her head. Cold wind whipped her hair in her face and she spread her arms wide, watching the verdant grass rise up to meet her at a thousand feet per second.

Just before hitting the ground, she awoke with a start to the sound of her father pounding on the bedroom door and calling, “Cara?”

“
C
ara!” Bill shouted, startling Aelyx out of a dead sleep. Bill jiggled the doorknob from the outside and knocked again. “Why’s the door locked?”

It took a moment for Aelyx to free his mind from the haze of deep slumber, but when he did, he bolted upright in bed, squinted against the afternoon sun, and whipped around to face a petrified Cara, half naked beside him and clutching one arm over her chest.

Oh, leaping gods! Bill was going to kill him!

“Pepper?” Her father’s voice sounded closer, as if he’d pressed his lips to the crack between the door and the wall. “You okay?”

“I’m fine!” She leaped out of bed, but Aelyx didn’t give her exposed body the slightest glance. He was too busy scrambling to find his own shirt. Curse it all, where was it? “I just fell asleep.”

“Where’s Aelyx?”

Their eyes met in panic from opposite sides of the bed. “Uh,” she stalled, pulling her sweater over her head while he snatched his shoes from the floor and crammed his feet inside. “He’s right here. We were studying and we dozed off.”

“With the door locked?” Bill turned the knob with more force, and Aelyx thought his heart might actually beat out of his chest.

Cara hurled his shirt at him, and he pulled it on with one hand while helping her smooth the comforter.

“Cara Mary-Katherine Sweeney,” Bill said in the most bone-chilling voice Aelyx had heard in two galaxies, “open this door now!”

While Aelyx fluffed the pillows, Cara Mary-Katherine Sweeney faced the mirror, frantically finger-combing her tangled hair.

“Okay, Dad.” She tried to use a carefree, singsong voice, but it cracked on the last note. “Coming.” She turned to scan the room one last time and flinched, pointing to the bedside table and silently communicating with her widened eyes.

Glancing down, he noticed her tank top, but when he tried to snatch it off the table, he wound up knocking it to the floor with his trembling fingers. Kicking it under the bed, he nodded for Cara to open the door, and then he leaned casually against the far wall, trying to look like he’d just been doing homework.

Cara opened the door, and Bill glowered from the other side, his body stiff and trembling with all the pent-up rage of a bull ready to charge. He stepped inside and scanned the room, taking in the rumpled bed before his burning gaze settled on Aelyx.

“Fell asleep studying, huh?” The control in Bill’s voice brought chills to the surface of Aelyx’s skin. This wasn’t a man who’d lose his mind and attack in the heat of passion. He’d premeditate the murder and carry it out with a steady hand and clocklike precision.

“Yeah,” Cara said. “We’re homeschooled now, remember?”

Bill swept his hand toward the polka-dotted comforter, crooked and draped across the mattress at an odd angle. “Where’re your books?”

“At school,” Cara said without missing a beat. “We used the Internet.” Thank the gods she was such a skilled liar, because his own tongue had decided to play dead in the interest of self-preservation.

“I see.” Bill walked slowly to Cara’s dresser and leaned on the edge, folding his arms as the pine creaked under his weight. Even the furniture feared this man. He studied Aelyx for a few interminable seconds before asking, “Do you usually study in bed? With girls?”

Still unable to speak, Aelyx shook his head.

“Da-aad!”
Cara charged ahead, standing toe-to-toe with her father. “Leave him alone. You’re making a big deal out of nothing!”

“Fine.” Bill’s voice was smooth as cream, but he couldn’t conceal the redness rising up his neck and seeping into his cheeks. “Just two questions and I’ll go.”

Cara gripped her hips, mirroring her father’s stubborn stance.

“First,” Bill began, “what were you studying?”

“The periodic table.”

“And second.” He stood, rising to his full height like an angry bear and flicking the tag that protruded from the front of Cara’s sweater. “Why’s your shirt on
inside out and
backward
?”

Midtown’s debate champion couldn’t produce an explanation for that. As Cara would say, they were busted.

“I’m calling your mother.” Bill stalked to the door and paused, glaring at them one last time. “You two stay in your rooms until she gets here. Your
own
rooms.”

Aelyx and Cara shared a commiserating glance, and then he joined her father in the doorway. Bill stepped aside, barely allowing Aelyx to pass, remaining close enough for him to feel the heat and scarcely contained rage rolling off his body. Slowly, Aelyx made the walk of shame to his room, closing the door behind him and leaning against it to steady his breathing.

Sacred Mother, short of Bill catching them “making out,” that couldn’t have gone any worse. But despite the heaviness in his lungs, a smile spread across Aelyx’s lips, and he pressed a hand over his mouth to muffle a laugh. He didn’t understand his body’s reaction—there was no humor in this predicament—but his smile wouldn’t fade.

Two hours later, he wasn’t smiling as he sat beside Cara on the living room sofa facing Bill and Eileen, who’d perched atop chairs they’d brought in from the kitchen. Aside from Sharon Taylor’s absence, the scene reminded him of their weekly interviews, minus the friendly banter. Minus
any
banter, actually. The only sound in the room was the distant hum of the refrigerator and occasional laughter from the soldiers stationed outside.

Finally, Bill broke the silence. “How far did it go?”

“Gross, Dad!” Cara covered her face with one hand. “This is sick! I’m not discussing my sex life with you!”

Bill shook an accusing finger at his daughter. “There better not be anything
to
discuss!”

“I’m practically an adult, and it’s none of your business what I—”

“Stop.” Eileen held one palm forward, and Cara clamped her lips together. Resting her elbows on her knees, Eileen spoke to her daughter in a firm but gentle voice. “It doesn’t matter how old you are. You’ll still be our little girl when you’re eighty.”

“Nothing happened, Mom. And even if it did, this isn’t just some hookup.” Cara linked her arm through his, and Aelyx noticed her father’s grip tighten on his chair’s wooden armrest. “We love each other.”

“Okay,” Eileen said with a nod. “But it has to end sometime, and then what? I don’t want to see either of you get hurt.”

“But it doesn’t have to end.” Cara turned to him and whispered, “Can you tell them?”

Nodding, he entwined their fingers in a show of solidarity. He wanted to send a clear message to Cara’s parents that this was no game—he’d chosen their daughter to be his
l’ihan
, if she’d have him.

“It’s true,” he said. “If the Elders approve the alliance, we’ll recruit colonists. Then Cara can come be with me on L’eihr.”

“Wait.” She stiffened beside him on the sofa. “L’eihr? I thought you’d stay here.”

“On Earth?” he asked. And spend every moment of his life guarding against attack? Out of the question. “No, they want to set up the first colony on our planet.” Her stunned silence told him this wasn’t welcome news, so he added, “But we could visit every couple years.” That didn’t seem to help, either.

He glanced at her parents—Bill, whose flushed face drained of color right before his eyes, and Eileen, who’d frozen in place with her head tipped in contemplation. The idea of losing their only daughter to a foreign galaxy obviously disturbed them, and he understood. He couldn’t bear parting from Cara, either.

“W-well,” Bill sputtered, “we’ll talk about that another time. She can’t even go until she graduates. Till then,” Bill continued, “no fooling around in my house. Are we clear?”

“Of course, sir.”

As Bill and Eileen returned their chairs to the kitchen, arguing over which of them would be responsible for supervising “the kids” during the day, he studied Cara’s blank expression and tried to discern her thoughts.

“You all right?” he eventually asked, stroking her forearm.

She jerked to attention and shook her head as if to clear it. “Yeah, sorry. Just thinking.”

“About?”

When she nibbled her thumbnail, her gaze flickered up and down, never holding his own.

“Talk to me,” he pressed, smoothing his palm over her hair.

“It’s just…We didn’t even discuss it. Why do I have to be the one to leave everyone behind? Why not set up the first colony here? It kind of makes sense.”

He dropped his hand, feeling a prickle of shame. It was selfish to assume she’d follow him to an alien planet and leave behind everything familiar. Most humans her age wouldn’t make a commitment of that magnitude for at least another five years. Cara was mature beyond her chronological age, but of course she would worry. However, the colony was already under construction. He couldn’t relocate to Earth, even if he wanted to. If Cara refused to leave her home, they couldn’t be together. The thought left him cold.

“Hey.” She squeezed his knee. “You’re almost as pale as I am, and that’s saying a lot.” Reaching up, she tapped one finger against his forehead. “What’s happening in there?”

“I’m sorry. I thought you understood.” The words sounded distant to his own ears. “I shouldn’t have—”

Two sharp knocks rattled the front door, and a stern-faced soldier rushed inside without waiting to be admitted. “Turn on the TV,” he ordered Cara. “Channel Five, and hurry.”

While she crawled to the coffee table for the remote control, the soldier, a middle-age male with cropped gray hair, began calling for the Sweeneys. In seconds, they ran into the living room, and then everyone turned their attention to the sixty-inch screen mounted on the wall, where a national news reel showed a HALO protest twice the size of what they’d seen in Midtown.

“.…coming to you live from Lanzhou,” a woman’s voice reported, “where the Patriots of Earth have claimed responsibility for the murder of a L’eihr exchange student, an eighteen-year-old boy known only as Aaron…”

“Eron,” Aelyx whispered, standing from the sofa.

“…after he evaded military escorts and wandered from his home. According to unnamed sources, the boy was found contaminating the soil and taken by Patriots to an undisclosed location, where he confessed under torture to blighting the local wheat crop…”

Aelyx gravitated toward the television, his limbs heavy as if moving underwater.

“…when an armed militia stormed the boy’s home, they found scientific equipment and samples to indicate he’d tampered with the water supply…”

Oh, gods, Eron must’ve snuck away from his guards to uproot his
sh’alear
.

“…no news on the whereabouts of the female student in Bordeaux, who fled her home and disappeared after learning the news…”

Syrine had evacuated to her shuttle and Eron was dead.

“…the L’eihr ambassador has ended alliance negotiations and called for the immediate removal of the two remaining students…”

And without the alliance, mankind would perish. Aelyx’s stomach churned, and he bolted to the bathroom just in time to heave into the toilet.

Beads of sweat covered his forehead and upper lip while dry sobs racked his whole body. Every one of his muscles ached from holding the grief inside. Sacred Mother, what had he done? Turning to the sink, he splashed cool water on his face and rinsed his mouth of the sour taste of vomit, flinching when a fist pounded on the bathroom door.

“Aelyx!” Cara rushed inside, half hysterical, with tears streaking her cheeks, her parents following closely behind. “You have to take me with you! They’re getting ready to—” She sobbed, choking on the next words, and he grasped her upper arms to steady her.

“Getting ready to what?”

Bill leaned one shoulder against the doorjamb. “They’re taking you to the nearest post. Right now. Another mob’s on the way.”

If Aelyx listened over the pulse rushing in his ears, he could barely discern soldiers barking frenzied orders and the sound of armored vehicles roaring to life.

“The alliance will never happen now,” Cara said in a blubbering rush. “If you don’t take me, I’ll never see you again.”

Eileen wrapped one arm around Cara’s waist, but she pushed it away and threw herself at him, grabbing his shirt with both hands. “Please.” Her eyes brimmed with terror. “Take me with you.”

“Think about it,” he told her. “Everything’s changed. If you go with me, you might never come back.” He bent low until they were level, delivering a solemn look. “Is that really what you want?”

Tears leaked down her face, dripping from her chin in great turrets, but she didn’t hesitate to say, “Yes.”

“Pepper, you don’t mean that.” Bill’s imposing form lost six inches as he deflated and turned to his wife for support.

Cara spun around and buried her face in her father’s chest, her body quaking with sobs and apologies. “I want to go.”

“No,” Bill said, still in a stupor. “Just…no.”

“It wasn’t a question.” Cara’s voice hitched, but she met her father’s gaze. “I’m going, one way or another. At least I can make sure Troy’s okay.”

Aelyx couldn’t let the Sweeneys think there was any danger of retaliation. “He’s safe. I give you my word.”

“The sergeant wants to take us somewhere else,” Cara told him. “To a safe house.”

And Aelyx knew Stepha would never allow Cara to board an official transport. That left only one way to bring her to the main ship—his emergency shuttle. “Do you remember what I said a couple weeks ago? Where to meet if we ever got separated?”

She nodded vigorously.

“Go there now and wait for me. It might take a while, but I’ll get away and meet you.”

While Bill clutched his daughter tightly with one arm, he studied Aelyx in disbelief, scanning his face and surely calculating whether to trust him with her future. In the silence, Aelyx noticed the distant roar of frantic voices. The mob was approaching—they didn’t have much time.

“Let’s go!” shouted a voice from the hall. A soldier shoved Bill aside and threw an oversize camouflaged coat and a black ski mask at Aelyx. “Put that on and get outside!”

“Give us a minute to say good-bye,” Bill said as he ushered the whole family completely inside the bathroom.

“I’ll give you five seconds.”