What was he thanking her for? She giggled.
Stupid giggle!
“No one’s ever asked me that before,” he explained. “When I think of how I’m able to help a seed grow into all of nature’s colors just by giving it the love and attention it needs, it makes me feel so…alive.”
Did he just say “love?” How many boys did she know could say the word “love” without sounding like they were trying on a dress? None. Jack said “love” like it was the most comfortable part of his life. He conveyed his feelings with such ease.
“And the results of my affection,” Jack plucked a red tomato from the bush, “taste incredible.”
He held the red fruit to Alice’s lips. She closed her eyes and bit into the warm fruit, tasting in its juices Jack’s love and affection.
She opened her eyes. There were his baby blues. Alice lost herself in them.
She stopped herself from saying “I love you,” and giggled instead.
Jack turned away. He picked off the dead leaves on the plant in front of him, and without looking at Alice, he said, “You’re a good friend. A sweet, little girl.”
Alice choked.
A sweet, little girl? As in “I-love-you-like-a-sister sweet, little girl”?
That’s when it hit her. Jack would never love her.
Really
love her. She wasn’t pretty enough. She was just a sweet, little girl. Not beautiful, not attractive. Probably loved his stupid plants more than her.
Damn! Damn! Damn!
“Is something wrong?” Jack asked.
“What? No! Nothing! I just got some dirt…” Choking on her words, Alice wiped her eyes and ran off.
That painful realization was the best thing for her, as far as Alice was concerned. At least she knew how Jack felt. Knowing she could never be in a relationship with him was better than not knowing how he felt. She was able to get on with her life. Over the years she even flirted with Jack. Flirting came easy knowing that nothing she said could ruin the chance of them being together. Because there
was
no chance of them being together. They were just friends. Jack had made that quite clear.
She had spent the next few years convincing herself there were other men out in the world. And when she went to university, Alice knew she’d have the opportunity to admire many young men in the nearby coed colleges in Cambridge.
But after coming home from those first several months at university, right in front of her was Jack passing through the garden in the middle of the night and she couldn’t deny how her heart still sped up at the shadowy sight of him. It looked as though Jack might be noticing her standing at the window.
She reached with her free hand to caress her breast through the soft fabric of her silk nightgown. Such a bold action, it surprised even her that she was doing it. She lifted her head back as though relishing the sensation. With her eyes half-closed she kept an eye on Jack.
Yes. He was still looking at her. Knowing he was watching her made her pulse quicken. But she then realized the consequence of her game. What had she done? Their relationship was now going to completely change, and there was no way to undo her hand-on-breast stunt.
If you’re going to play,
as her classmates would often tell her,
play all the way!
Alice pretended not to notice as she placed the hairbrush on the table beside her and used both hands to massage her chest.
Am I a sweet little girl now, Jack? Is this what sweet girls do? Do these look like they belong to a little girl?
Her hands squeezed and tweaked creating familiar sensations among an all too unfamiliar audience.
I am not a sweet little girl. No way. Are you watching me Jack? Are you seeing me?
Alice breathed hard. She peeked. He was watching her. And maybe, just maybe, he was seeing her, too.
Her nipples hardened. She wanted to touch them directly, but Alice was afraid that if she stopped what she was doing, even to take off her nightgown, it would scare Jack off. So she continued to press her breasts, squeeze them, pet them. Anything to make this moment last as long as possible.
She thought about what Jack was seeing.
Was he hard? Was he turned on?
But perhaps the more important question was, did he like her body?
Alice panted.
Lord, was his breathing as heavy as mine?
She pictured Jack touching her, caressing her breasts, pinching her nipples, telling her how stunning she was, how he’d always loved her and had always wanted her forever.
Alice peeked again. Oh! Unless her eyes deceived her, Jack had his hand down his pants! He was actually turned on by what she was doing!
She wondered what his cock looked like. Or, for that matter, what any cock looked like. Alice had never seen one before. One time, her older sister’s friend Carol had described one to her at Alice’s insistence. But even Carol’s description wasn’t very helpful. Alice bet Jack’s was big and hard.
This is for you, Jack. Only for you.
Alice wanted to feel him, entering her, pushing into her, thrusting through her, holding her in his arms.
She’d never had a boyfriend and wanted Jack more than any man she ever knew.
Especially now. Because right now she needed someone inside her.
Moving a hand down the front of her chest, to her belly, to her thigh, she made sure to glide her hand down her body slowly and not frighten Jack away. She knew that if she moved too quickly, he may think the show’s over and leave. A smile slipped across her face. She realized that moving slowly would not only maintain the illusion that she wasn’t stopping anytime soon, but also be as sexy as hell to Jack.
Curiosity overcame her and she peeked at him again. He was still there. His arm was moving up and down in his pants. She imagined that strong hand stroking himself.
With her own seductive hand, she inched up her nightgown and placed a bare foot on the low window ledge. Lots of leg had to be showing through the window, to Jack. She moved her hands between her thighs and separated the folds with a finger, feeling herself open to the window, to the garden, to Jack. It must have been a surprise for him, because his arm was moving faster now as though he were desperately pumping the well for water. Alice let a finger dip inside of her, imagining it was Jack’s beautiful shaft filling her. She felt her wetness.
It wasn’t enough.
Keeping a finger stimulating her clit, she slowly reached for her hairbrush. She reversed the hairbrush and put the tip of the handle to her pussy.
Do you like this, Jack? Do you like what you’re seeing?
Alice daydreamed he liked it very much, indeed. That it was him inching into her at this very moment.
“I love you, Alice,” he was saying. “I love you so much.”
He went in deeper. Filling her.
Alice clutched her breast, felt the handle of the brush open her. Moving it out felt just as good.
She checked. Jack was still there gazing up at her. She felt so big above him as he stroked his gorgeous cock for her.
And it was for her.
She moved the handle faster, letting it touch her deep inside. Faster. Having it be Jack. He was pushing into her. Faster. Jack thrusting his cock inside of her.
Alice moaned. She loved being watched by him.
Could this be the moment? Could this be the night she found out what an orgasm feels like? Even without a real cock inside her?
She put all her attention on rubbing her clit, feeling the brush handle inside of her.
Forget about Jack,
she told herself,
and just focus on achieving the big O. Focus on the climax. Focus on the climax.
But the faster she rubbed and thrust the hairbrush inside of her, the further from that peak she felt. She slowed down her efforts. As usual, it wasn’t going to happen.
Was Jack still watching?
She opened her eyes to look at him directly.
Jack froze, then turned away. In a flash, he disappeared into the shadows.
The moment was gone.
Dammit! Why did I look at him so brazenly?
But Alice was thrilled. She had connected with Jack in a wonderful and new way. Was it really possible? Could Jack fall for her, after all? How was this going to play out tomorrow? What would it be like talking to him? Would he ignore her? Would he stare at her with a knowing smile? Would he stutter every time he tried to talk to her? Would she end up the stutterer and spit out another stupid giggle like she had so many years ago?
She released a delightful sigh and tossed the tired, moistened hairbrush on the table. After turning off the lights she fell backwards onto her bed laughing. What a problem she created for herself! Such an exquisite problem! Just when she thought there wasn’t any chance of Jack being attracted to her, her entire world changed. She snuggled under the covers and tried to go to sleep, but couldn’t put it out of her mind. Hours would go by before she fell asleep.
*****
Alice lay in bed feeling a need to be touched. Cupping her hand between her legs, she massaged her nub with a determined finger. She’d made a connection with Jack unlike ever before. This time, she was certain that memory could help her reach orgasm. She could finally know what it’d be like to come.
Her fingers rubbed harder, faster, worrying her clit. It felt good but she wasn’t getting any higher. What was wrong with her?
There was a noise at the door. The door opened and Jack strolled into her darkened bedroom.
Alice stopped moving her hand. What was he doing in her room? The better question was, what was he going to do with her in her room?
Jack ignored her. He went to the window and looked out just as she had done. The moonlight revealed his stern face.
Since Alice’s hand was under the covers and the room was so dark, she figured she could keep moving without Jack noticing.
Here he was in her bedroom. A dream come true.
With Alice’s other hand she discreetly slipped two fingers inside of her. She probed herself deeply trying to find that elusive climax. She thrummed and twirled at her impatient yet stubborn clit.
Jack turned to her. Was that repulsion in his face?
Alice continued her fervent mission, her hands shaking visibly underneath the sheets.
Jack pointed an angry finger at her. “You don’t know a thing about how to please a man, do you? Why I bet you wouldn’t know what to do with a cock if one were in front of your face.”
Alice worked harder, grinding her hips against her hands, hungry for satisfaction and only getting hungrier.
“Look at you,” Jack sneered. “You can’t even have an orgasm. Why would any man bother with you?”
Alice woke up in a sweat. She found herself needing to catch her breath.
She looked around the bedroom. Her hairbrush still glistened from her juices in the moonlight. But Jack being inside her room? That was just a nightmare.
No, not just a nightmare. It was the truth.
Chapter 2
Alice and her sister’s friend Carol sat outside the manor in the back garden by the lake. They had parked themselves under the shade of an oak tree whose leaves painted a pointillist display of sun dots on the earth. The two of them were separated from the lake by a well-trimmed meadow. A constant cool breeze blew against them. Alice supposed Carol’s sundress struggled to keep Carol warm, as much as Alice’s own blue dress and white apron rippled and fought the breeze.
“Have you ever had an orgasm?” Alice asked her sister’s friend.
“Alice!” Carol laughed and plopped the history book down in her lap causing a subtle breeze to blow against the grass they sat in. Carol straightened her beautiful orange dress over her ankles, though it truly did not seem to need any straightening at all.
True, Alice’s choice of question to change the subject was not the most polite one, but listening to Carol read a history lesson to prepare for an exam was as exciting as watching the trees race to see which would be the first to grow the tallest.
“Honestly, Carol. Now that we’re on Christmas break from university, I don’t want to listen to your stupid history book.”
“Alice, your sister may be a wiz at Victorian history, but right now I need a study partner if I want to even
hope
to pass. And since Lois is off with your parents going shopping, you have the honor of being my study partner until they return.”
“That’s another thing,” Alice said. “You’ve been spending so much time here that I’ve probably seen more of you than your parents have. I mean, I know Lois is your best friend and all that, but don’t you think your ma and pa are missing you?”
“My mother and father are on their own Christmas vacation in France. Let them have their fun. Besides, I wouldn’t want you to miss the privilege of my precious company. Now back to my Victorian history book.”
Alice grabbed the book out of Carol’s hands and placed it far out of Carol’s reach.