Alice Next Door (7 page)

Chapter thirteen

W
e had a great afternoon in town.
Somehow
, everything seems much more fun when you know you’re breaking every rule your parents could ever think of. (Plus lots more they haven’t got around to thinking of yet.)

First stop was to get Alice a burger and chips. I wasn’t hungry of course, since I’d just had lunch,
but Alice acted as if she hadn’t seen food for days. She stuffed her face, and then very rudely spoke through a mouthful of chips.

‘Mmmm. This is so totally yum. I’d forgotten how good warm food could taste.’

I laughed. ‘Well, don’t get too used to it, we mightn’t be able to get out again in a hurry.’

I had the biggest cup of Coke available. (Mum and Dad never allowed me to have Coke, so it tasted extra-nice.)

When Al had finished eating, and I had drained my giant Coke, we wandered out onto the street. I had an idea.

‘Let’s go into the supermarket. Maybe we can find something for you to eat later.’ (I was feeling a bit guilty, because I knew we were having
shepherd’s
pie for dinner, and I couldn’t think of a way to smuggle some of that in to Alice.)

In the supermarket, we quickly found the shelf where all the instant-type foods were. I’d never been there before. My mum has a big thing
about wholefoods, and fresh fruit and vegetables and organic stuff. Once I heard her saying to Dad that feeding ready-meals to children should be recognised as a form of child cruelty. I picked up a pot of instant noodles, and put on my mum’s voice. ‘Eugh! Look at this. Full of e-numbers, and hydrogenated fats. Is this food? Or is it a chemistry experiment? How
are
they allowed to get away with this?’

Alice took the pot from me and shook it. She too imitated my mum’s voice. (So well that I felt a bit guilty.) ‘I think it’s just died. And look at this carton. How long will it take for this to
decompose
?’

I was glum for a moment. ‘About as long as it will take my parents to forgive me, if they find out I’m in town this afternoon.’

Alice shook my arm gently. ‘Don’t worry, Meg, they’ll never know. And anyway, we’ve
discussed
this. When my parents find me on Friday, I’m taking all the blame. I’ll say everything was
my fault. It was all my idea.’

I wasn’t sure. ‘Yes, I know you said that, but I still don’t think it’s fair.’

Alice spoke firmly. ‘Of course it’s fair. Remember, I’m the child from the broken home, not you. They’ll have to make allowances for my bad behaviour. I’m just acting out my trauma.’

We selected six pots of noodly things that could be heated by pouring boiling water over them, and I tried not to worry too much about how exactly I was going to get boiling water from the kitchen into my bedroom.

After that we did a tour of Cruise’s Street. In every shop that sold nail varnish, we each painted one fingernail. It took us about half an hour to get all of them done. We were slowed down quite a bit by the fact that security guards chased us out of three shops. You’d think we were ‘undesirables.’

Of course, even I knew there was nothing
terribly
cheeky or bad about trying on nail varnish
in shops, but without Alice, I wouldn’t have dared. That was the great thing about Alice. When I was with her, I became a better person. I was braver. And funnier. And happier. Life was so much more fun when she was around.

We looked at CDs for a while, then jewellery and clothes. The afternoon went much too quickly. We got the bus home at half four, because I knew it would soon be dark. I also knew that if I wasn’t home by dark, Mum would go to the tennis club to look for me. And if I wasn’t there, she would go into totally,
absolutely
, crazy panic-mode. She wouldn’t stop to think anything sensible, she’d just presume that I’d been kidnapped or murdered or something.

Once, in a shop, Rosie slipped out of sight for a moment and Mum nearly lost her reason. She screeched on the top of her voice. ‘Rosie! Rosie! Oh my baby, what’s happened to you?’ Two shop assistants came running, thinking someone was dead. Then Rosie appeared from behind a rack
of dresses. Mum picked her up and smothered her with big, wet, slobbery kisses. ‘Oh, baby, baby. Where were you?’ I thought I’d die of embarrassment, and even Rosie who should have been too young for that looked a little bit uneasy. Then, as if it wasn’t quite bad enough, Melissa, with her uncanny knack for being around during my most embarrassing moments, appeared with one of her meanest buddies. They both laughed out loud, and then Melissa whispered to her friend. The only words I could hear were ‘…
mad mother
…’ I felt like shouting at her. ‘
I
know she’s mad. But it’s not my fault. Why blame me? Do you think I picked her out of a catalogue?’
But of course I didn’t. I just put my head in the air and pretended not to care. (Even though of course I did. Very much.)

When we got home, Alice took the bag with the things we’d bought, and sneaked around the back of the house to wait for me to open my
bedroom window. I let myself in the back door, and ruffled my hair a bit to make it look like I’d been running around the tennis court. Mum was in the kitchen as usual. She seemed to live there – like some kind of enchanted princess,
condemned
to a life of endless drudgery. She was straining some potatoes.

‘Oh, Megan, you’re back. It will be dark soon, and I was just starting to wonder about you. Did you have a nice time?’

I nodded. ‘Yes, it was fine. I might go again tomorrow.’

Mum looked up this time, and smiled at me. ‘Well, that is good news. Now will you please mash these potatoes for me?’

I thought of poor Alice standing in the garden in the cold, waiting for me to let her in my
bedroom
window. ‘OK, Mum, but I’ll just run out and put my racquet in the hall cupboard.’

Mum took the racquet from me before I could protest. ‘It’s OK, I must go check on Rosie
anyway. I’ll put your racquet away for you. And when you’re finished the potatoes, will you empty the dishwasher, and set the table please? Dad will be home soon.’

I didn’t want to arouse her suspicions by arguing. It must have been twenty minutes before I got to my room. I opened the window, and gave the signal whistle. There was no reply. I whistled again. All I could hear in reply was the rustling of the trees at the end of the garden. Then I whispered as loudly as I dared. ‘Al, Al. Where are you?’

Still nothing. This was awful. Where could she have gone to?

I climbed out of the window, and ran to the bushes where Alice was supposed to wait for my whistle. She wasn’t there. I suddenly began to feel a sense of panic. Where could she be? I ran around the garden, whispering her name as loudly as I dared. At last I found her sitting in Rosie’s little old playhouse, right at the end of the garden. She was in a bit of a sulk, but I was so
glad to see her, I didn’t mind.

She spoke crossly. ‘Where were you all this time? I’m frozen.’

‘Sorry. Mum gave me loads of jobs. I couldn’t get out of the kitchen.’

‘You could have said you needed to go to the toilet, couldn’t you?’

Suddenly I felt very stupid. Why hadn’t I thought of that? Had I no imagination? ‘Sorry, Al. I’ll say that the next time.’

She brightened suddenly. ‘It’s OK. Now let’s go in, while I can still move my fingers and toes.’

Luckily, I was first to climb in the bedroom window. I was sitting on the window-sill ready to jump down, when I realised that Mum was on her hands and knees, looking under my bed. I had just time to be grateful that we’d hidden Alice’s sleeping bag and clothes in the back of my wardrobe, when Mum looked up in surprise.

‘Megan! What on earth are you doing there? Were you out in the garden?’

I nodded. ‘Er, yes.’

‘But it’s dark outside. What took you out there at this time of the evening? And why on earth are you climbing in through the window?’

I thought as quickly as my panicked brain would allow. Alice was much better at instant lies than me, but I could hardly shout out to her for ideas, could I? She was only a metre away, but I was very much on my own. I did my best.

‘Em …I …you see…I ….. well, actually I…. what happened was…..’ Even in my panic I knew I was being totally pathetic.

For once in her life Mum didn’t want a big long discussion. She stood up. ‘Well, whatever. I must finish off the dinner before Dad gets here. Just get down and shut the window, and don’t be so silly again.’

I jumped down and closed the window,
smiling
out into the darkness, just in case Alice was watching. Suddenly I was a bit worried. What had Mum been doing? Did she suddenly suspect
something strange? She didn’t normally look under my bed. I had to ask. ‘Er, Mum, why were you looking under my bed?’

She sighed. ‘I think Rosie’s hidden the television remote control again. Every time I ask for it, she just laughs. She’s being a right little monkey. And your dad will go crazy if it’s not there when he wants to watch TV tonight.’

I gave a small sigh of relief. ‘Oh, is that all? I’ll help you look for it later, will I?’

Mum smiled. ‘Thanks, love.’

Then she went out and closed the door, and when I was sure she wasn’t coming back, I opened the window once more and let Alice in. She sat down on my bed and she didn’t look
terribly
happy.

It was turning into a very long day.

Chapter fourteen

D
inner that evening seemed to take
forever
. Mum told Dad about me spending the day in the tennis club, and the two of them went on and on about it, like I’d just been awarded the Nobel Prize or something. They kept saying totally stupid things like:

‘Isn’t it lovely to see Megan getting some independence?’

And:

‘Physical activity is so important. And tennis is
such
a lovely game.’

And:

‘It’s such a sociable sport. If you play tennis you’ll never be without a friend.’

I was sure that if I didn’t get back to my bedroom quick, I’d be without Alice as a friend, she’d be so cross and fed-up. In the end, Rosie rescued me by throwing up all over the dinner table. It was totally gross, but at least it distracted Mum and Dad for a while, so I could
concentrate
on thinking of a way to get boiling water in to my bedroom for Alice’s noodles.

Much, much later, when I got back to my room, I still hadn’t any good ideas.

‘It’s not my fault, Al!’ I protested. ‘Mum never seems to leave the kitchen. She always says she’s chained to the kitchen sink, and I’m beginning to think she might be right.’

Alice wasn’t sympathetic. ‘Well, we’d better think of something. I’m starving.’

She picked up a pot of noodles and shook them. They made a nice rattly kind of sound. I wondered if Miss O’Herlihy would let me play
them in the school band.

Alice sighed. ‘This is torture. I could die of hunger here, in this very room.’

Things were getting desperate. I’d been best friends with Alice for nearly eight years, and I knew all there was to know about her. And one of the things I knew very well was that when Alice was tired or hungry, she wasn’t much fun to be with.

‘I know,’ I said brightly. ‘Mum has the hot water on for Rosie’s bath. Maybe if I fill your pot from the hot tap in the bathroom, it would work.’

Alice looked a bit doubtful.

‘I’m not so sure. But we’d better try
something
. I haven’t got long left.’ As she spoke she sucked her cheeks and her tummy in, and flopped onto the bed in a mock faint.

‘Very funny. You just lie there being totally dramatic, and I’ll do all the work,’ I muttered as I stuffed a pot of noodles into the pocket of my hoodie, and went into the bathroom. I ran the
hot tap for ages, but it never got that hot. Not
considering
I needed water that was actually boiling. In the end I got fed up, and I ripped the foil from the top of the carton anyway. Inside was really gross looking. Maybe Mum was right, it couldn’t have been good for you. It didn’t even look like food. It was a strange orangey colour, and was mostly dust with a layer of strange-looking brown things on top. I carefully filled the carton up to the mark on the side, and stirred it with the handle of my
toothbrush
. It actually smelt quite nice – a bit like pizza. I checked to see that the coast was clear, then I ran back to my room. Alice was lying on the bed, trying to look weak.

‘Oh, at last. You might have to feed me. I have no strength left.’

‘Here,’ I said. ‘Feed yourself. I worked hard for this.’

Alice took out the spoon we’d saved since breakfast, and dipped it into the pot. She stirred around, and sniffed for a while. ‘Mmmm. Smells
nice enough. A bit like pizza.’

I smiled to myself. ‘Try some then. Before it gets cold.’ What I really meant, of course, was ‘before it gets colder,’ since it was only barely warm to start with.

She gingerly scooped up some of the orange-brown stuff, and put it into her mouth. I smiled at her encouragingly. Behind my back I had all my fingers crossed.

‘Yeeurgh.’ She very rudely spat it back into its pot. ‘Yuck!The noodles are still rock hard. I can’t eat this. It’s like eating gravel.’

I was upset. ‘Come on, Al. Please try. You have to eat. It can’t be all that bad.’

She thrust the pot towards my face. ‘OK, You try it then.’

I shook my head. ‘Sorry, I’m quite full.’

‘Yeah. Full after your dinner. Was it nice? Did you have second helpings?’

All of a sudden Alice began to cry. She put her head in her hands, but I could see tears
squeezing between her fingertips.

I picked up the pot and put it on my dressing table. I really didn’t need to have that stuff spilled on my duvet. It looked like the kind of stuff that would make a stain that would never come out – even with the kind of biological washing powders my Mum refuses to use. ‘Oh, Al. I’m sorry. Don’t worry. I’ll get you some food. I’ll think of something, I promise. You won’t starve.’

She looked at me crossly, wiping away her tears. ‘I know I won’t starve. But I’m not just crying about the food. It’s everything. I don’t think this plan is going to work. We’re just going to be in terrible trouble, and then I’ll have to go back to Dublin, and it will be worse than ever. Mum won’t even let me visit here any more after this. Oh, Meg, this was all a huge mistake.’ She put her head down again and gave a succession of huge, sad sobs.

There was no way I was giving up though. No
way. There was too much at stake.

I took her by the shoulders. ‘Come on, Al. Don’t talk like that. Just wait till Mum brings Rosie upstairs for bed, and I’ll get some boiling water. You can have two pots of noodles, or three if you want, and you’ll feel better, and then we’ll plan for tomorrow. We’re going to make this work. You just wait and see.’

She looked at me closely. ‘Promise?’

I nodded, feeling a bit guilty because the truth of the matter was that I was no longer very sure of anything.

Later, when Mum took Rosie up for her bath, I persuaded Dad to go into the garage to look for some tennis balls for me, and I managed to get a huge jug of boiling water into my room. Alice ate three pots of noodles, and afterwards she was in much better form.

At about eight o’clock, it was time to phone Alice’s mother. She answered at once.

‘Alice, is that you? Where are you? I’ve been phoning the house for ages.’

Whew, I thought, that was lucky. Her dad must have gone out.

Alice spoke airily. ‘Oh, I’m home now. Dad took me to the doctor’s.’

Her mother sounded anxious. ‘Doctor’s? Are you that sick?’

‘No, Mum. The doctor says I’m fine. It’s just a bug. He says I’d better not travel for a few days yet.’ She hesitated. ‘Maybe I should wait until Friday, and travel up with Dad?’

She had no intention of doing that of course. The whole point was that her Dad would arrive in Dublin without her, and there would be a big panic, and her mother would be shocked into moving back to Limerick.

Her mum spoke. ‘Hmmm. I don’t know. It’s Tuesday now, isn’t it? I’ll have to see. I need to speak to your father, put me on to him.’

‘Well, actually, he had to go back into work. He
left early you see, to bring me to the doctor, so he had to go back in again. I think he’s going to be home very late.’

Her mother sounded cross again. ‘Typical. And of course the switchboard at work won’t be on, will it?’

Alice grinned at me. ‘No, Mum. Unfortunately not.’

Her mum made a cross, grunting kind of noise. ‘And I don’t suppose he’s entered the twenty-first century and bought himself a mobile phone since I saw him last, has he?’

Alice grinned at me again. ‘No, Mum. Sorry.’

‘You know what, Alice? I think he deliberately stays out of reach.’

I think she was right. If I was married to a cross woman like her, I’d want to be out of reach occasionally too.

Alice spoke softly, like to a child. ‘Don’t worry, Mum. It’s fine. Why don’t I just tell Dad I’ll stay here until Friday? He can drive me to Dublin
after work and we’ll see you then. Isn’t that the best thing?’

Her mother gave a big, long sigh. ‘Well, we’ll see. Don’t eat anything until you’re better, and tell Dad to get you some Seven-Up to drink, and I’ll ring you tomorrow.’

‘OK, Mum. I’ll phone you though. I’ve loads of credit on my mobile, and I might as well use it up.’

‘OK, bye darling.’

‘Bye Mum. Love you.’

Alice clicked off the phone, and grinned at me. I felt a lot better. With every passing day, and with every phone call, it seemed as if we were getting closer to our goal. If only things kept going like this, everything would be perfect. Soon Alice would be back living in Limerick where she belonged, and before long the dried noodles and the bathroom mountaineering would only be a distant memory.