Alice 1 (7 page)

But so did Skinny Santa.

I didn’t cry, I just stared at him, lying
face down on the cold stone floor. David turned him over and tried
heart pump and mouth to mouth.

____________________

Back at the hotel we just sat, saying nothing.
There was a knock and David and I went to opposite sides of the
door. Maggie asked who it was.

“Greg’s friend, who invited you to Oaxaca.”

Karla looks like Jimmie Stewart, easy going and
friendly, but cold steel just beneath the warm fuzzy. That must be
the description of a master spy.

“Greg and I have been good friends for many
years and I will miss him. The Mexican government is very pleased
the grave robbers will rob no more, and that a major section of
Monte Alban has been discovered. Please take this package home as a
gift from the US and Mexican governments. It has a State Department
seal and will go through customs unexamined. With your permission I
will have the two bodies flown back to Carmel.

“Is there anything I can do for you now? Here is
my Berkeley phone number. You may have made serious enemies, and I
can be of help if you find more trouble than you can handle.”

And that is how my childhood ended.

CHAPTER 14

After we buried Linda and Skinny Santa beneath a
cypress by the sea, I spent a couple of days sitting on a rock,
watching waves churn sand. What’s the point? Yes, that is the
question, what is the point? Yeah, yeah, I know. I’ve heard all
those wonderful, wondrous stories about the meaning of life. Fairy
tales for the stupid and gullible.

Hunger, sex, pleasure, pain---that‘s the meaning
of life, and old great-granddaddy Darwin showed how it all works.
God bless his honest soul. All the rest is honey-coated elephant
shit, piled higher than your eyeballs.

Bottom line? I need food, shelter, and guys.
What could be simpler than that? And it would be best not to get in
my way.

The missions are pointless. What the hell do I
care if a bunch of grave robbers cop a few? If they have the guts
and competence to pull it off, my hat goes off to them. The Mexican
government just got pissed because they didn’t get there first. And
what did our government do with that list of spies we found under
the floorboard at Camp Hale? Probably blackmailed the poor bastards
themselves.

We gave the $100,000. in Karla’s package to
Doctors Without Borders.

I’m going back to school and learn more about
intermittent reinforcement and associative conditioning. How about
Berkeley? It’s Karla’s home base and the University of California
is where the smart, beautiful people go. I’ll major in psychology,
with a minor in philosophy. Yes, I’m an over-sexed, foul-mouthed
brat. And a deep, deep thinker. With no humility.

One tiny problem. I didn’t really apply myself
all that well in high school. Actually, I skipped most of the time.
My school records would not put me high on the list of applicants.
So, I’ll have to lie, steal, sleep around, bribe, whatever. It’s
the end of October so I have two months before the start of spring
semester.

Piece of cake.

____________________

I stayed in Carmel long enough to make sure
Molly, Maggie and Johnny can protect themselves against the
Squeeze, and off to Berkeley.

I’m playing poor little waif so I took the
Greyhound from Carmel to San Francisco to Berkeley and got off
seven in the morning at San Pablo and University. Quite a hike up
University Avenue but it was nice weather and I figured somebody
would come along and ask if I wanted a ride. I look pretty needy in
my semi-shabby clothes and heavy suitcase. My modestly tight
sweater won’t hurt if it’s a guy.

I’m so excited. A wonderful new world of
knowledge, wisdom, and hundreds of healthy, horny males.

After only a couple of blocks an old guy in a
black Mercedes stopped and offered a ride. I was shy and reluctant,
and let him assure me he’s ok. Put my suitcase on the back seat,
and hopped in.

“Where you going?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never been here before.
Berkeley is so big.”

“Where you from?”

“Three Rivers, a little place up from
Visalia.”

“Oh I know where that is, I go through there
sometimes. It’s just outside Sequoia National Park. You have a
place to stay?”

“Well no, I just want so bad to go to school
here. I just got on the bus and came. I’m sure I can find
something.”

And now the interesting part. Is he going to
take advantage or be helpful? He looked over and it’s a fatherly
look.

“It might not be so easy mid-semester.”

“Oh? You think I might have a hard time?”

“Well there’s Arlene’s, not too far from campus.
It’s pretty cheap and she sometimes has a room, but I have to tell
you it’s because her place isn’t all that nice. People move out
when they find something better.”

“Are you going nearby?”

“Sure.”

Nice guy. I thanked him and zipped a $500 bill
into his glove compartment. Wish I could watch his reaction when he
finds it.

Bet you didn’t know whose ugly face is on
the front.

WILLIAM MCKINLEY

Yep, Arlene’s is a dump. I pushed the buzzer and
a 40-something, mildly unattractive, over-worked woman with a sour
puss opened the door.

“Yeah?”

“I was wondering, I was wondering if you had a
room for rent.”

She looked me over and decided I wasn’t going to
be much of a cash cow.

“I have a room, but it’s pretty expensive.”

“How expensive?”

“360 a month.”

“Oh my, that’s a lot of money. Is there any way
I can get it cheaper, maybe help you out sometimes?”

“No, I’m sorry.” I waited and looked pitiable.
“Well ok, I can let you have it for 330 if you keep your room clean
and don’t play loud music.”

Let the bargaining begin!

“Oh thank you so much, that is so kind, but I
don’t have much money. Is there any way you can let me have it for
250?”

“Good heavens no, 330 is a very low price! I
can’t go any lower.”

Oh I was so pathetic and disappointed, and
whimpered a little as I slowly picked up my heavy suitcase. The
moment of truth.

“Wait! Ok. If you water the outside plants twice
a week I can let you have it for 295.”

I was so grateful, effusive is the fancy word I
believe you super sophisticated people use. I could have gotten her
down to 275, but I’m not greedy. I love to bargain.

I unpacked and watered all the outside
plants. That surprised her and her sour puss became a little less
sour. Then I washed up, put on better clothes, and out the door to
explore my new world.

CHAPTER 15

It was still early in the morning and fog had
not yet completely burned off the hills of Berkeley. Lovely white
strands slowly moved across the dark green. So delicate. Like a
Japanese landscape.

People were heading to campus for morning
classes and I joined the herd. Picked up a Daily Californian from
the bin at Sather Gate and sat down on one of the benches in Sproul
Plaza. I know all about UC Berkeley because I googled to get the
skinny. I particularly liked old photographs of crowds of students
demanding that the administration allow free speech in Sproul
Plaza. Those are my kind of people. Not the tight-ass, PC nannies
going around trying to shut up anybody not as wonderfully sensitive
to the feelings of others as themselves. I hope Berkeley hasn’t
forgotten the fight for freedom of speech fought and won so long
ago.

Click
UC Berkeley

I closed my eyes and tilted my head back to let
the sun warm my face. The Campanile, the high bell tower in the
middle of campus, rang the hour. So peaceful. So far from the cold
stone darkness of Monte Alban.

I opened my eyes and lazily watched the world go
by. Women can be anything they want here. Moving past in a steady
stream were sorority princesses at one end of the possibilities, to
way out-of-date hippies with no makeup and lots of jiggling. I
prefer minimal make-up, modest clothes, and maybe a little jiggle
now and then to snap a guy’s head around.

Lots of foreigners. Arab men? Nah, too
authoritarian. Might try a Frenchmen to see if they really are
superior lovers, and a hot blooded guy from Spain. I suspect
Frenchmen and Spaniards are riding their reps but I might be wrong
so better triple-check that out. If I want orgy, I’ll spend a long
weekend at a friendly fraternity.

Lots of nerdy guys---shy, not much pizzazz, and
fumbling lovers. I seduced a few to boost their egos and give them
a few lessons. They’re fun for a while but then fall too hard, too
fast, and get too hurt when they realize I don’t want a long
relationship. I warn them. Doesn’t do any good.

Walked across the Plaza to the Bear’s Lair. The
burger and fries weren’t too bad, and the two chocolate donuts were
delicious. A couple guys tried to get my attention but my top
priority, at the moment, is to get enrolled not laid.

Start at the admissions office? No. Better to be
already registered. Have to find where the student data base is
kept and add my name. Went across the Plaza to the administration
building and told the guy at the front desk I was doing a paper on
how UC keeps its student records up to date. I smiled nicely,
jiggled a little, and he took me to see Ms. Grayson, in charge of
student records. She’s proud of her work, but not many eager
students come her way.

“Thank you for taking time to see me, Ms.
Grayson. I assume you have a master data base listing all enrolled
students. How do you keep it up to date?”

“I get this form. See? It lets me know whether
to add or remove a name from the data base. All those forms in my
work box over there are going into the computer today.”

I zipped a couple of blanks into my purse, asked
a few more questions, and thanked her for her time.

Found a cubbyhole at the library and made out
the form. It asked what you would expect---name, address, age, sex,
etc. I wrote in date of admission and checked ENTERING FRESHMAN and
TRANSCRIPTS ON FILE. No signature at the bottom. Pretty loose
system, easy to game. Maybe I’ll speed up my college career and
enter graduate school next year, and get a PhD the year after
that.

Went back to ask Ms. Grayson a couple more
questions and zipped the form into her work box. Done, and didn’t
have to bribe or sleep with anybody. Just lie and steal a little. I
zipped a McKinley underneath the stack of forms in her work box
just before I left.

There are dozens of tables set up on the edges
of Sproul Plaza, manned by super-sincere, super-dedicated young
people with causes to hawk. I never saw so many signs pushing the
three most beautiful, empty buzzwords in the English language.

FREEDOM

JUSTICE

EQUALITY

And so many signs threatening the end of the
world unless you join the cause. They pump guilt, anger and fear to
get your attention, support, and money. Well at least there’s
passion here, and looked around for a guy who might want to share.
It’s been a while.

Ah, there’s a nicely shaped young man with fire
in his eyes. Let’s see if I can move the heat a little lower. Oh
my, he’s pushing the scary that mother earth will burn with the
fires of hell unless we stop breathing. He’s arguing with an
equally sincere young man who feels he might be exaggerating a
little. No exaggeration. ”Don’t you care about your children and
grandchildren?!” And then they started arguing who cared more for
the children and grandchildren they didn’t yet have. Oh God, I hope
his sex is better than his rhetoric.

Aaaah, forget him. He’d waste all that wonderful
energy and passion trying to convert me to the cause.

There’s a quiet young man sitting behind a small
table. Sometimes the quiet ones surprise you. He’s shilling
libertarianism with Ayn Rand books for sale. My handsome, Scottish
foster father was a randy Randian, and indoctrinated me into her
world. You really pick up a lot of stuff bouncing from foster home
to foster home.

He looked up as I came to his table and I did my
shy-innocent. Guys like him can be fun if you’re not in a hurry.
Libertarian Charlie was so grateful to talk to a pretty girl who
knew who Ayn Rand was. We continued the conversation over dinner
and then wine at his place.

He was a little too gentle, but sweet. I so
enjoyed bringing out a level of passion he didn’t know he had.
Gently squeezing a guy’s prostate with my Shadow fingers just as he
cums is very, very effective.

He asked me to stay the night but I said no. I
felt so guilty letting him have me so soon. He would think I was
easy, maybe even a slut. He very sincerely assured me he would
never think that. He was so sorry he took advantage of me, but I
was just so beautiful, so innocent. He lost control.