Alex's Angel (16 page)

Having tasted freedom, if it came to choosing between love and liberty, she’d always choose liberty. She’d been exactly right to fear him.

And just how long could a girl like herself, barely passing pretty, keep the interest of a gentleman like Alex? After so many years without male attention, to suddenly be the object of
his
attentions was too heady. When it came to an end and she knew it would, she would be devastated—that was, if she let herself become accustomed to it.

Anyway, she didn’t have time for such nonsense as having a lover. Why, she had so much she needed to do with her life yet. Not the least of which was getting her book printed. Her first priority would be to find new boarding house rooms with the money she’d earned last night.

Last night.

She remembered the pleasure, the pain, his exquisite gentleness afterwards and his tender care. How good it had felt to just turn herself over to it.

How would she ever bring herself to leave him after that? Her mouth went dry and she curled into a ball.

Grandfather, her father, Grandmother. The people she had depended on. Now all gone forever.

And they had all cosseted her, spoilt and sheltered her so that she hadn’t known how to function without them. She had depended on them so much and none of them had even seen her. Not truly. They hadn’t let her show her true self.

Grandfather had wanted a substitute for the grandson he would never have, a model student of Latin, Greek and history. He and Grandmother had fought hard over her, over what she should be—scholar or proper lady—when in reality she was neither. She was an artist.

Not just any artist, but an artist with a mission. A mission she intended to live and die for.

This gentleman, while kind and patient, didn’t seem to be the type who wanted to sponsor an artist on a mission. He seemed to want a playmate to warm his bed and probably wanted a woman who would cater to him alone.

Yet she craved his touch and his caring. And he had such force of personality—he had such power over her. How was she to resist, to maintain her self and sense of purpose?

Well, obviously, it would be best to avoid finding herself beneath him again. She’d better be fully dressed before she faced him. She jolted from the bed, ran to thrust the curtains open wide and blinked as the bright light assaulted her eyes. Then she went to the mirror and saw her hopelessly mussed hair and kiss-bruised lips. She’d better get herself together, and soon.

She splashed her face with cold water from the pitcher. Then she stumbled about the chamber, searching for her clothes and pulling them on. She brushed and braided her hair and coiled it at the back of her neck. Having done that, she gathered as much of her clothing as she could into her old valise. She’d have to leave everything else, even her precious store of books. Well, there was no help for it. Hopefully, this benefactor that Mr Jefferson had found her would have an extensive library and he might not mind her borrowing from it. She pictured a kindly old man, someone with jowls and a merry laugh. Or someone tall, lean and sober, like Grandfather.

“What the devil do you think you are doing?” Alex’s deep voice cut into her thoughts.

Chapter Seven

Emily span around to face Alex, then sucked in her breath. Heavens, he was so handsome—every line and plane of his face washed in the stark sunlight was gorgeous. She’d be obsessed with sketching his likeness, every perfect part of him, for months, maybe years, trying to adequately capture on paper the perfection that nature had so effortlessly created.

“It’s morning now. I should be getting on my way.”

“Morning is long gone. It’s half past noon,” he said with a slight yawn. He approached her. “I have sent Zachariah for some hot water and some breakfast.” He stopped in front of her and reached out to grasp her waist and pull her close.

At his touch, her whole body melted. By the time his caressing hand worked its way down to her bottom, she was practically jelly. No, no, this wasn’t the way to remain detached. She stiffened herself against the sensation and looked up at him.

His eyes were warmer than the sunshine. “I have some business this afternoon and a damned supper party tonight but I could come here by two in the morning. And I have nothing to do tomorrow morning.”

She forced a laugh and pulled away from him. “I can’t possibly stay here.”

“Of course not. Not for any length of time. I can find you a little house.”

A house. Temptation beat through her. A house of her very own. She would have comfort and security and she would make all the decisions— But no, that wasn’t how it worked, was it? No. Surely if he gifted her with a house that would come with all his rules and demands. All right, so some of those demands would be pleasurable—heavens, she feared that before long, she’d find it hard to deny him anything.

No, no, no. That would be no good at all. If she let anything distract from the time and freedom she needed for her art and her mission—she flickered a glance at his handsome face—no matter how agreeable such a distraction proved to be. Having a handsome, charming, wealthy gentleman offer her protection—she’d never expected to be faced with such a dilemma! How to handle this? Best to pretend to have misunderstood him. She looked away to avoid his gaze. “I can’t afford a house.”

“I mean to provide you with a house.”

“Provide me with a house? Why ever would you do such a thing?”

“Emily, I can’t help but feel you’re being deliberately obtuse here.”

Caught, she glanced up at him.

The irritation in his expression sliced right into her. “I am offering you my protection.”

The last word had a ribbon of warmth winding through her. Warmth so seductive that for a moment she wanted to throw herself at his body. Let him wrap his strong, protective arms about her and never let go. This was dangerous business here. “Protection?” She forced another laugh and turned from his persuasive gaze. “I don’t need anyone’s protection.”

“After last night, I have an obligation.”

“You owe me nothing more than you would any other girl you met in the Blue Duck.”

He touched her arm. “All right—let me say also that, after last night, I
desire
to offer my protection to you.”

“And what would you expect in return?”

“The usual things, Emily. Your time and your company—nothing more.”

“Oh, yes, and when you snap your fingers, I shall be expected to strip off and fall into your bed or onto my knees as the mood strikes you.”

Long wrinkles creased his high, broad brow. “It’s not like that at all. You shall share your person or not as the mood strikes you. I’ll never force anything. I simply want to make you comfortable, to spend time with you.”

Don’t you believe him. He wants only to make you dependent on him, emotionally and financially. Once he has you used to luxury and his affection, when you can’t live without either, he will bring the crop down on you.

She raised her eyes back to his. “No. I’ll not accept anything more from you than my one hundred and fifty dollars. And, Alex, I think I would like to have it now, if you don’t mind.”

Alex stared down at her open hand. “Do you realise what you’re so casually tossing aside? I’ll give you a personal account in any shop in this town, your own carriage, your own house with servants.”

She compressed her lips and her eyes narrowed. “I just want the money I have already earned and the liberty to go my own way.”

This had not occurred to him. He hadn’t even imagined that she would turn such an offer down. God, she was going to flee into the city like the frightened, lost girl he’d first taken her for.

He took a deep breath, then went to find his jacket and procured the money she was waiting for. He returned to her.

“At least stay here until I can find you rooms of your own that you can afford.”

“Mr Dalton,” she said in patient tones, as if speaking to a child. “I didn’t suddenly, by the loss of my virginity, lose the capacity to see to my own affairs. I can manage quite well on my own.”

He flinched. Despite himself, her words stung. Who the devil was this thin scrap of a girl with the too-long nose to reject his protection? Did she have any idea how many other women would have jumped at the chance to be his mistress? “As of last night, you weren’t exactly doing such a capable job of maintaining your own affairs. You were penniless, turned out of your boarding house, everything you owned held hostage by a ragman and you had resorted to harlotry to sell the last remaining thing you held of value.”

She straightened her spine, drawing his attention to her small, high breasts. Her nipples were like those of other women with such small breasts—quite prominent and seeming always to be half erect. Their sweetness had been like exotic fruit against his tongue. She’d been every bit as sensual as he’d suspected and he wanted more with a hunger that was pain.

“Yes, well, it is my life to live, not yours,” she said in stiff tones, so obviously trying to be pretend to be indifferent. Yet her sherry-brown eyes shone with wildness. He should take care not to provoke her. He needed to remain in control.

“I’ll have the money now, if you please.” Her expression hardened, her tone was cool, as if now that she’d earned her money, he was dismissed. As if that was all he had been to her, a means to a monetary end. As if they hadn’t shared the most earth-shattering, never-before-known pleasures and closeness the night before.

His control snapped.

“By all means.” He dropped the bills into her waiting hand. “Welcome to the world of harlotry.”

The wildness in her eyes became flames.

“You—you…” She closed her mouth and pressed her lips so tightly together that the edges grew white.

“You can’t accept the truth of the matter? Believe me, this is going to be the least of the insults you’ll be dealt in your new life.”

“I hate you.” She spoke the words with deadly softness and the hand holding the bills began to tremble.

She reminded him so much of a hissing, spitting little kitten that he lost his anger. She was inexperienced—the next thing to a virgin. He’d hurt her. He had her at an economic disadvantage. She was scared of him, and probably more of her own reactions, as all virgins were when having their first sexual experiences.

And it was the worst of all signs. She really was a soft-hearted thing. He had no business tangling with her. But they were too deep into things now.

She was volatile, her reactions would be unpredictable.

He did not want to chance letting her walk out of his door. He shuddered inside thinking of what trouble she might stumble into unawares. But what else could he do? He couldn’t hold her hostage here. He suppressed a groan of frustration. He knew from past experience that if he only had more time with her, he could seduce her into letting him protect and take care of her. And at that point, he could make sure she was well set-up enough to take care of herself.

But he had to have that time. He glanced at the stack of bills there upon her hand. He pictured Alicia McConnell, decking herself out like the finest French courtesan with Peter’s congé. Purchasing herself the best wines, opiates and God knew what else. Running wild among the elite of Philadelphia. Her expensive tastes bringing her to desperation to gain more funds to supply them. Becoming hardened, willing to do the most perverse acts…

Money in the hands of one who had never had it before could be a very dangerous thing.

On a rash impulse, he scooped the bills from Emily’s hand.

“What the devil?” she cried.

He took the money and counted out enough for decent lodgings and food for a month and a few items of clothing, and placed it in her hand.

“B—but we had an agreement.” Her eyes shone with disbelief.

“I changed my mind. You can stay with me and have your every whim answered. I shall provide you with your own rooms and a carriage. A wardrobe. But if you leave, you shall only have enough to get by in the near term.”

Her lovely mouth dropped open, her lower, dark pink lip quivering. “Don’t you have any honour?”

“I refuse to fund your ruin.”

“Y—you’re a man of business—we had an agreement.”

“If you want to play at being a harlot, then you’d better get used to having the terms change after the fact.”

She stepped back from him, paling. His heart gave a pang. Christ, he wanted to relent. She was simply scared. This was scaring her further. But, no—he had to remain firm with her. He couldn’t let her just run out of that door. He wouldn’t fail. Not this time. Not Emily.

“You’re doing this because I am poor, because I am a harlot—just because you can.”

“I am doing this so you won’t make further mistakes.”

Her face flushed bright red, her eyes sparking as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, you cannot manipulate me into staying—I won’t be forced into being yours.”

Her eyes glittered, suspiciously wet.

He closed the distance between them and touched her shoulders. She grew stiff, making it hard to draw her into his embrace. He embraced her anyway, rocking her resisting body gently as he pressed his hands to her back. “It won’t be so terrible, being mine, as you put it. You won’t even have to lie with me again, if that’s your wish. I just want to take care of you and help you.”