Alex Anderson The Last Son of Zeus (9 page)

BOOK SIXTEEN

THE MAGIC TAMPON

Fiona reached behind her back and pulled a four-foot sword from under her t-shirt. It hummed with each movement. There was no way--no way--she could have hidden the thing in her shirt. But, somehow, there it was.

And there she was.

Fiona, the vulgar little
goth
-girl Alex had known for half his life, twirled a sword above her head like she was auditioning for a Conan movie. Alex knew her, but had no idea who she was.

The floor rumbled. Alex grabbed the nearest bookcase. "What was that?"

"Don't know, dude," Bos said. "Sounds like a freaking
Sarlacc
."

Fiona never took her gaze off Hera. "What have you
done,
stepmother?"

Something underneath them screamed. It sounded like a cross between a woman and the Incredible Hulk. The floor rumbled again. Books fell off shelves and book carts rolled in random directions.

Fiona looked at the floor. "Surely you did not. Not even you would be so..."

Hera smiled. "So what? Cruel? What an
unwise
judgment of me, Athena."

Fiona's lips curled into a snarl. She took three quick steps to Hera, raised her sword…

And the floor exploded.

Floorboards smacked Alex in the face and chest. Some unseen force flung him into a bookcase. He caught a glimpse of Bos going over another shelf yelling, "
Fuckin
' A!" as he went.

Muffled screams came from the floor below. Alarms wailed through Athens Central, and sprinklers hissed in another room.

Alex slowly stood. He watched something rise from the hole with its back turned. It had a girl-like shape from the waist up, but the rest of it looked like a thirty-foot snake. Dark green scales covered its entire body, and a nest of snakes ranging from six to eighteen inches sat where its hair should have been.

At least thirty snake heads looked his way. The creature's entire body went rigid. It raised its tail and Alex saw a huge rattler on the end. The sound it produced was crazy loud and Alex felt it in his chest. The creature jerked its head around and faced Alex.

Fiona slammed into Alex. The two of them went tumbling behind a bookcase in a tangle of arms, legs, and sword. Fiona held him against the floor. Her strength surprised him. Alex didn't think he could have resisted her if he wanted to. "Don't look at it!" She moved to the far end of the bookcase.

Alex peaked around the corner. "What the hell is…?"

Fiona yanked his shirt collar. "What part of 'don't look at it' perplexes you?"

Fiona raised the sword--Jesus Christ, the fucking sword--to her face. "It's a Gorgon, like Medusa of old. One look in her eyes and you become stone. Got it?"

For the second time today, Alex's mouth moved but no sound came out.

Fiona grabbed his collar again. "GOT IT?"

"Got it! Yes, for Christ's sake got it. What's with you people? You never give me just two goddamn seconds to process--"

Bos screamed from the other side of the library.

~ * ~

Bos coughed up dry wall. He spotted his bowler next to him, picked it up and rose to his feet.

Or rather, he tried to get to his feet.

He found himself pinned underneath a bookcase two times bigger than he was. He shoved the thing, but all he managed to do was dump a few more books on his head.

"Okay, game face time." Bos put on his hat and gave the case another shove. He bit his lower lip and made a spitting sound, Two indications to anyone who knew him he was giving his maximum effort. In the end, it became a sound that told him exactly how futile his efforts were.

He heard and felt a rattling sound.

"That can't be good."

He squirmed but only managed to make himself feel more helpless. His back now faced the sound.

A hissing noise joined the rattling.

"Oh God."

It came closer. "Oh God." He felt warm breath on the back of his neck. The hissing turned into a growl.

Bos screamed.

Just when Bos knew he was about to go out like a red-shirt on Star Trek, he saw Alex running towards him. His buddy made a leap over his face and slammed into something big and meaty behind him. "Alex! Oh thank God! Alex, you're so beautiful, but not in a gay way!"

Bos saw a huge snake rattle whip by his head then disappear. He heard sounds of a fight on the other side of the library. Bos had to help his friend. He didn't have any deuces handy, but he knew he could think of something. If only this motherfucking bookcase would…

The bookcase lifted right up.

Fiona stood over Bos, holding the bookcase with one hand and her sword in the other.

"I'd so do you right now."

"Up, mortal! Move!"

He shoved at the blanket of books covering him. "Okay, gotcha, creepy Fiona-type person." Bos put his legs under him for the second time only to have Fiona drop the bookcase on him again.

"Fiona, what the fuck?"

Her attention was already on the other side of the library. "Wait here, and sorry." Fiona leaped over him.

"Fuck!"

~ * ~

The she-bitch
Gongoza
thing had been about three inches from
Bos's
head before Alex slammed into it. He never looked her in the eye. He just wrapped his arms around its chest and let his momentum carry them away from Bos.

They hit the ground ten feet away and slid on a pile of books. The she-bitch screamed and punched Alex in the stomach. Alex found fighting hard enough while looking at his opponent. Not being able to look at her made fighting damn near impossible. The only thing he could see was its tail.

So he grabbed it.

Alex didn't know how strong he was yet. He never had chance to test it. Alex knew he was, at least, lift a car strong, which, in his mind, was pretty goddamn strong. The creature writhed, flipped and tried to toss Alex off her tail. He had hoped to somehow get the upper hand, but at that moment all he could do was hang on.

The creature screamed in anger. Alex screamed in terror. She slithered past the hole at impossible speed, twisted and slammed Alex into the wall. It twisted again and sent him into the ceiling. The library instantly became the inside of a pinball machine with rows and rows bumpers shaped like bookcases.

Still, he refused to let go. As long as the she-bitch focused her attention on him, it wasn't going after Bos. Alex looked up, trying to figure out what to do.

That's when he made eye contact with it.

~ * ~

After dropping the bookcase on Bos, Fiona ran across the back of it. The bookcase became a springboard and
Bos's
belly the spring as she jumped off its edge. Fiona cleared the thirty-foot hole in the floor and landed on the other side.

She turned in time to see the Gorgon slam Alex into the ceiling.
Why in Zeus's beard did he grab the thing by the tail?

The Gorgon writhed with Alex on its tail. It paid no attention to her or Bos. She smiled. Maybe Alex did know what he was doing. With any luck, the Gorgon's flailing path will carry them right past her and--

The library door opened.

Fiona sighed. Most of humanity simply did not have the facilities to deal with what currently occurred on the floor of the Athens Central High School Library. Alex was of godly descent, and he barely had the equipment deal with it, or everyday life for that matter.

She looked at her hero and friend, looked at the doors of the library twenty feet away, and dashed for the doors. She one handed the railing and kicked the door shut before it opened all the way. Blankenship howled in pain on the other side.

Fiona grabbed the metal handles on the double doors and twisted them into a knot.

She looked back at the hero.

~ * ~

Alex looked right in the she-bitch's face and nothing happened. Their gazes fell to Alex's hands.
As long as I'm touching it...

The
Galaganzo
screamed and bolted to the left. He heard breaking glass and felt his forehead hit brick. The next thing he knew, his butt sat on the floor of the library. In front of him was a broken window with an indention in the brick wall above it that looked oddly enough like his face.

"Hey, dude," came
Bos's
muffled voice from underneath the bookcase. "Was it just me or did that thing have like a tampon sticking out of its ass?"

BOOK SEVENTEEN

LOVE AND HATE

"So, why am I here?"

Aphrodite stood beside Hera with her arms crossed. Policeman, firemen, and paramedics buzzed around them in the parking lot of Athens Central High School. Most of them helped wounded teachers and students. Others--much like Aphrodite--were trying to figure out what the hell happened.

Hera's invisibility curse kept the goddesses from being noticed, which annoyed the hell out of Aphrodite. She had to step sideways every time a mortal walked past her for fear of being bumped. But that wasn't the real reason why the spell annoyed her.

She simply liked being seen.

"I wanted you to witness this," Hera said. None of the mortals came around her for some reason. Maybe it was another curse.
She could at least cast it on both of us.

"
This?
What is
this?"
Aphrodite looked at the rubble that used to be a good portion of the school. A cool looking statue of a student stood in front of the entrance. He was life size and wore a letterman jacket. "Looks like a Gorgon tore through here."

"One did and still continues to do so."

Aphrodite whipped her head around. "Shut-up! Really?"

"I sent it after your father's most recent dissemination."

Aphrodite sighed and let another mortal pass between them. "What's dad
gonna
say? You know the rules. That's why I sent Twiddles Dee after Anderson in the first place."

"That's why I told you to send him."

Aphrodite froze. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I lied, you twit. What has Zeus done to deserve my
protection,
or yours for that matter?"

Aphrodite found it difficult to breath. She thought a mortal bumped into her.

Hera spread her arms. "He passed his 'rules' on us to prevent any unnatural interference with humanity. And look at him! Look at what he has caused! Look at what he has created! They are a bunch of sniffling, stinking, self-absorbed idiots who piss away their world and time in equal measure."

Hera shoved a stretcher carrying a fat man with a think mustache and broken nose out of the way. It did a one-eighty while surprised paramedics chased after it. "Then, the moment our heads are turned, the moment we are distracted with apathy, what does he do? He couples. AGAIN!"

"But it's just been the one..."

"That we know of. I assure you there have been many more."

There was a loud crash from inside the school where firemen carried away rubble. People screamed and massive amounts of dust rolled into the parking lot.

"Can't we just,
y'know
, talk to him?"

"Not anymore."

Aphrodite blinked and tears touched her cheeks.

"I wanted you to be the first to know. After everything he has done to the children, I thought it the least I could do." Hera curled her lip. "It's far more than he would have given had the roles been reversed in some way."

Sirens wailed as more police cars pulled into the parking lot. Aphrodite sniffed and laughed a little. "Do you know what he always found funny about police sirens?"

"I had hoped more of you, Aphrodite."

In a flash of black smoke, Hera disappeared.

"Excuse me, ma'am." Aphrodite heard the paramedic but didn't listen. "You can't be here. You need to step back."

Aphrodite didn't even realize she had dropped the visibility curse. "Which way did the thing go?"

"Ma'am, once again, I need you to step--"

Aphrodite kissed the paramedic. It wasn't especially passionate or long, but it was more than enough to love curse him.

"Which way did the big snake thingy go?"

He grinned and pointed west.