Alcott, Louisa May - SSC 14 (18 page)

 
          
           
"May I know the name?"

 
          
           
"No! No! Let me go; I cannot bear this questioning!" And Jean's
distressful face warned him to ask no more.

 
          
           
"Forgive me, and let me do what I may. Rest here quietly. I'll write a
letter to a good friend of mine, who will find you a home, if you leave us."

 
          
           
As Sir John passed into his inner study, Jean watched him with despairing eyes
and wrung her hands, saying to
herself
, Has all my
skill deserted me when I need it most? How can I make him understand, yet not
overstep the bounds of maiden modesty? He is so blind, so timid, or so dull he
will not see, and time is going fast. What shall I do to open his eyes?

 
          
           
Her own eyes roved about the room, seeking for some aid from inanimate things,
and soon she found it. Close behind the couch where she sat hung a fine
miniature of Sir John. At first her eye rested on it as she contrasted its
placid comeliness with the unusual pallor and disquiet of the living face seen
through the open door, as the old man sat at his desk trying to write and
casting covert glances at the girlish figure he had left behind him. Affecting
unconsciousness of this, Jean gazed on as if forgetful of everything but the
picture, and suddenly, as if obeying an irresistible impulse, she took it down,
looked long and fondly at it, then, shaking her curls about her face, as if to
hide the act, pressed it to her lips and seemed to weep over it in an
uncontrollable paroxysm of tender grief. A sound startled her, and like a
guilty thing, she turned to replace the picture; but it dropped from her hand
as she uttered a faint cry and hid her face, for Sir John stood before her,
with an expression which she could not mistake.

 
          
           
"Jean, why did you do that?" he asked, in an eager, agitated voice.

 
          
           
No answer, as the girl sank lower, like one overwhelmed with shame. Laying his
hand on the bent head, and bending his own, he whispered, "Tell me,
is the name John Coventry?"  

 
          
           
Still no answer, but a stifled sound betrayed that his words had gone home.

 
          
           
"Jean, shall I go back and write the letter, or may I stay and tell you
that the old man loves you better than a daughter?"

 
          
           
She did not speak, but a little hand stole out from under the falling hair, as
if to keep him. With a broken exclamation he seized it, drew her up into his
arms, and laid his gray head on her fan: one, too happy for words. For a moment
Jean Muir enjoyed her success; then, fearing lest some sudden mishap should
destroy it, she hastened to make all secure. Looking up with well-feigned
timidity and half-confessed affection, she said softly, "Forgive me that I
could not hide this better. I meant to go away and never tell it, but you were
so kind it made the parting doubly hard. Why did you ask such dangerous
questions? Why did you look, when you should have been writing my
dismissal?"

 
          
           
"How could I dream that you loved me, Jean, when you refused the only
offer I dared make? Could I be presumptuous enough to fancy you would reject
young lovers for an old man like me?" asked Sir John, caressing her.

 
          
           
"You are not old, to me, but everything I love and honor!"
interrupted Jean, with a touch of genuine remorse, as this generous, honorable
gentleman gave her both heart and home, unconscious of deceit. "It is I
who am presumptuous, to dare to love one so far above me. But I did not know
how dear you were to me till I felt that I must go. I ought not to accept this
happiness. I am not worthy of it; and you will regret your kindness when the world
blames you for giving a home to one
so
poor, and
plain, and humble as I."

 
          
           
"Hush, my darling. I care nothing for the idle gossip of the world. If you
are happy here, let tongues wag as they will. I shall be too busy enjoying the
sunshine of your presence to heed anything that goes on about me. But, Jean,
you are sure you love me? It seems incredible that I should win the heart that
has been so cold to younger, better men than I."

 
          
           
"Dear Sir John, be sure of this, I love you truly. I will do my best to be
a good wife to you, and prove that, in spite of my many faults, I possess the
virtue of gratitude."

 
          
           
If he had known the strait she was in, he would have understood the cause of
the sudden fervor of her words, the intense thankfulness that shone in her
face, the real humility that made her stoop and kiss the generous hand that
gave so much. For a few moments she enjoyed and let him enjoy the happy
present, undisturbed. But the anxiety which devoured her, the danger which
menaced her, soon recalled her, and forced her to wring yet more from the
unsuspicious heart she had conquered.

 
          
           
"No need of letters now," said Sir John, as they sat side by side,
with the summer moonlight glorifying all the room. "You have found a home
for life; may it prove a happy one."

 
          
           
"It is not mine yet, and I have a strange foreboding that it never will
be," she answered sadly.

 
          
           
"Why, my child?"

 
          
           
"Because I have an enemy who will try to destroy my peace, to poison your
mind against me, and to drive me out from my paradise, to suffer again all I
have suffered this last year."

 
          
           
"You mean that mad Sydney of whom you told me?"

 
          
           
"Yes. As soon as he hears of this good fortune to poor little Jean, he
will hasten to mar it. He is my fate; I cannot escape him, and wherever he goes
my friends desert me; for he has the power and uses it for my destruction. Let
me go away and hide before he comes, for, having shared your confidence, it
will break my heart to see you distrust and turn from me, instead of loving and
protecting."

 
          
           
"My poor child, you are superstitious. Be easy. No one can harm you
now,
no one would dare attempt it. And as for my deserting
you, that will soon be out of my power, if I have my way."

 
          
           
"How, dear Sir John?" asked Jean, with a flutter of intense relief at
her heart, for the way seemed smoothing before her.

 
          
           
"I will make you my wife at once, if I may. This will free you from
Gerald's love, protect you from
Sydney
's persecution, give you a safe home, and me
the right to cherish and defend with heart and hand. Shall it be so, my
child?"

 
          
           
"Yes; but oh, remember that I have no friend but you! Promise me to be faithful
to the last—to believe in me, to trust me, protect and love me, in spite of all
misfortunes, faults, and follies. I will be true as steel to you, and make your
life as happy as it deserves to be. Let us promise these things now, and keep
the promises unbroken to the end."

 
          
           
Her solemn air touched Sir John. Too honorable and upright himself to suspect
falsehood in others, he saw only the natural impulse of a lovely girl in Jean's
words, and, taking the hand she gave him in both of his, he promised all she
asked, and kept that promise to the end. She
paused
an
instant, with a pale, absent expression, as if she searched herself, then
looked up clearly in the confiding face above her, and promised what she
faithfully performed in afteryears.

 
          
           
"When shall it be, little sweetheart?
I leave all
to you, only let it be soon, else some gay young lover will appear, and take
you from me," said Sir John, playfully, anxious to chase away the dark
expression which had stolen over Jean's face.

 
          
           
"Can you keep a secret?" asked the girl, smiling up at him, all her
charming self again.

 
          
           
"Try me."

 
          
           
"I will. Edward is coming home in three days. I must be gone before he
comes. Tell no one of this; he wishes to surprise them. And if you love me,
tell nobody of your approaching marriage. Do not betray that you care for me
until I am really yours. There will be such a stir, such remonstrances,
explanations, and reproaches that I shall be worn out, and run away from you
all to escape the trial. If I could have my wish, I would go to some quiet
place tomorrow and wait till you come for me. I know so little of such things,
I cannot tell how soon we may be married; not for some weeks, I think."

 
          
           
"Tomorrow, if we like. A special license permits people to marry when and
where they please. My plan is better than yours. Listen, and tell me if it can
be carried out. I will go to town tomorrow, get the license, invite my friend,
the Reverend Paul Fairfax, to return with me, and tomorrow evening you come at
your usual time, and, in the presence of my discreet old servants, make me the
happiest man in
England
. How does this suit you, my little Lady Coventry?"

 
          
           
The plan which seemed made to meet her ends, the name which was the height of
her ambition, and the blessed sense of safety which came to her filled Jean
Muir with such intense satisfaction that tears of real feeling stood in her
eyes, and the glad assent she gave was the truest word that had passed her lips
for months.

 
          
           
"We will go abroad or to Scotland for our honeymoon, till the storm blows
over," said Sir John, well knowing that this hasty marriage would surprise
or offend all his relations, and feeling as glad as Jean to escape the first
excitement.

 
          
           
"To
Scotland
, please. I long to see my father's
home," said Jean, who dreaded to meet
Sydney
on the continent.

 
          
           
They talked a little longer, arranging all things, Sir John so intent on
hurrying the event that Jean had nothing to do but give a ready assent to all
his suggestions. One fear alone disturbed her. If Sir John went to town, he
might meet Edward, might hear and believe his statements. Then all would be
lost. Yet this risk must be incurred, if the marriage was to be speedily and
safely accomplished; and to guard against the meeting was Jean's sole care. As
they went through the park—for Sir John insisted upon taking her home—she said,
clinging to his arm:

 
          
           
"Dear friend, bear one thing in mind, else we shall be much annoyed, and
all our plans disarranged. Avoid your nephews; you are so frank your face will
betray you. They
both love
me, are both hot-tempered,
and in the first excitement of the discovery might be violent. You must incur
no danger, no disrespect for my sake; so shun them both till we are
safe—particularly Edward. He will feel that his brother has wronged him, and
that you have succeeded where he failed. This will irritate him, and I fear a
stormy scene. Promise to avoid both for a day or two; do not listen to them, do
not see them, do not write to or receive letters from them. It is foolish, I
know; but you are all I have, and I am haunted by a strange foreboding that I
am to lose you."

 
          
           
Touched and flattered by her tender solicitude, Sir John promised everything,
even while he laughed at her fears. Love blinded the good gentleman to the
peculiarity of the request; the novelty, romance, and secrecy of the affair
rather bewildered though it charmed him; and the knowledge that he had
outrivaled three young and ardent lovers gratified his vanity more than he
would confess. Parting from the girl at the garden gate, he turned homeward,
feeling like a boy again, and loitered back, humming a love lay, quite
forgetful of evening damps, gout, and the five-and-fifty years which lay so
lightly on his shoulders since Jean's arms had rested there. She hurried toward
the house, anxious to escape
Coventry
; but he was waiting for her, and she was
forced to meet him.