Aim For Love (30 page)

“
Stacy
?”

Her head felt light. She dropped down into a crouch and pulled off the red wig. The odd dizziness didn’t go away. She ran her fingers along the tight braids and pins holding her hair to her scalp.

Kaz knelt beside her.

“You okay?”

He was close. She smelled the lemon verbena aftershave he wore and under it, everything that was Kaz. She nodded. “I’m fine.”

“I’ll get you that water.”

He started to rise.

She grabbed his wrist, closed her fingers around it. “No. If it wasn’t Stacy that made you pull away from me, then what? And don’t tell me you didn’t. I saw it. I
felt
it. Whatever
it
was, it was real. I want to know. I
need
to know.”

He knelt on the ground and ran his hand up her arm, across her neck. She guessed he didn’t know what he was doing.

But then he opened his hand against her throat, catching it in the vee between his thumb and fingers. She felt the heat of every finger on her skin. He slowly stroked the exact spot Derrick’s fangs had been aiming for.

And Sabrina understood that he knew exactly what he was doing.

“It’s a bit of a saga,” he said.

“Does it have a happy ending?”

“That, Sabrina, depends on you.”

She stood up and crossed her arms. Her heart beat so furiously that she was sure he could hear it. But this was one story she wasn’t about to cut short. “Then it’s a saga I should hear.”

He pushed back on his heels and stood.

He told her about Stacy, how they’d been infatuated with one another in high school, about her run-ins with drugs and rehab, about how he tried to help until her father sent her away.

“I saw Stacy for the first time in five years the night you and I went to Hallie’s Place. Before she was sent away, she’d made a deal with her family not to communicate with any of us back home. A deal she kept. I admire her for that. But I knew when I saw her that night that although I no longer loved her—not the way I’d thought I had—I also knew we were still friends. The kind of friends that have each other’s backs. The kind of friendship that time doesn’t touch.”

Sabrina was aware that he was watching her face closely, as if reading the condition of her heart. His jaw twitched, and she felt a perverse satisfaction that he was as on edge as she was.

“She came over the morning after we made love, the morning you left, to tell me that she wanted me to be proud of her. That she wanted to show me that she’d learned from me. I didn’t know she was planning something as rash as going after Ortega herself. She knew I would’ve tried to stop her.”

Kaz took her hand in his. The warmth she felt was more than skin against skin. But she wanted the whole story and didn’t want to be distracted by the feel of him. Couldn’t be distracted. If she wasn’t careful and read more into his words than he was actually saying, he could break her heart in ways she didn’t dare to imagine.

“If it wasn’t Stacy, then what was it that walled you off?”

The muscles around his eyes tightened, and he winced as he slid his gaze from hers.

“It wasn’t just the Valley and the temptation of the drugs that her family sent her away from. Stacy’s father—”

He let go of her hand. Her heart tumbled at the pain in his eyes. She braced herself for the worst sort of news.

“Stacy’s father sent her away from
me
.” Kaz riveted his eyes on her face.

She fought to keep her features composed, but her racing heart made it nearly impossible. Kaz stepped back from her. She’d seen him angry, she’d seen him aroused, she’d seen him struggling with the weight of his responsibilities—but she’d never seen him as distraught as she was seeing him now. But she had to know the truth. So she waited, even though she wanted to wrap her arms around him and ease his pain.

He hauled in a ragged breath, his shoulders braced and tensed. “Stacy’s father sent her away because he didn’t want her falling for a Jap.”

Sabrina opened her mouth to protest such a ridiculous, racist prejudice, but Kaz held up his hand, stopping her.

“That’s what I am to him. He lost grandfathers in World War Two. The Tokugawas—all of the Japanese families in the Valley—in his eyes we’ll always be the enemy. And maybe what was even harder to swallow was that he didn’t want her linking her life to a peach farmer’s son with no prospects.”

“But, Kaz, your family—”

“No, Sabrina, hear me out. When I realized I loved you, all the shame my own family tried to shelter me from fought its way into me. Until I made the team last week, I couldn’t even pay the bills for the farm—none of us could. Now, maybe now, there’s a future.”

He loved her. She heard the rest of the words, the explanations, but her heart held on to those precious words. He raised a hand and cupped her shoulder. She nearly melted under his touch. But the hard look in his eyes had her stepping back.

“There’s more,” he said. He stroked his hand down her arm as if he were memorizing her.

He told her about his grandfather’s deathbed requests. About his vow to marry a Japanese woman.

The revelation hit her like a blow. Kaz had made a
vow
.

A vow that meant the world to him, to his family. She knew what a vow meant to a samurai—he’d told her its importance. It was all part of the code, part of what made a warrior what he was.

How could she stand against all of that? Against any of that?

“And how has that changed in three weeks?” She didn’t mean to sound strident, but her heart was breaking all over again.

“My grandmother took the bus all the way to Arizona to tell me what an ass I’d been. To tell me that walls and prejudice had cut our family off from our destinies long enough.”

Sweat beaded on his brow. He looked uncomfortable, miserable.

“She told me to aim for love,” he added, his eyes searching hers.

He rested his palms on her shoulders. “I almost lost the most precious person in my life due to those walls, to that vow, not to mention my shame and pride. I love you, Sabrina. I can’t offer you the world you’re accustomed to. Not yet, and maybe never. But I can offer myself. And I can promise that I will love you with all that I am, all that I have.”

He loved her. She let the words sink in again. The man she loved, loved her. But the words didn’t immediately seam up the wound in her heart or do away with the defenses her mind wasn’t ready to drop.

“Pinch me,” she said, “because this feels more like a movie than the scene that just played out on the set.”

“This is no fiction, Sabrina. It’s not make-believe or pretend. This is me telling you that I love you. No artifice, nothing for the cameras, though I’ll announce it to the world if you want me to.”

“Kaz…”

“And I’ll do more than pinch you if that will help.”

As his lips met hers, words and thoughts faded until they no longer mattered. Her body convinced her she was home.

A food truck pulled up right in front of them, heedless of their locked embrace.

She leaned away. “I tried not to love you. You were my teacher, my healer. It wasn’t supposed to happen. We crossed a line, Kaz.”

He tugged her back to him. And she liked it, liked being surrounded by his body.

“We sure did. More than you knew.” Then he kissed her so deeply that the noises and commotion around them disappeared. It took the applause and cheers of the film crew to draw her back to reality.

“Bring that energy to the set,” one of the grips teased with a friendly grin.

“Isn’t it time for you to tell me something?” Kaz asked. “I might be able to read body language, but I rather think I’m going to need the words.” He trailed his thumb across her bottom lip. “I want to hear the words.”

Sabrina’s face heated and she lowered her head, butting it against Kaz’s chest. He wanted her to say it in front of the cast and crew? In front of men and women who were strangers to him?

Well, why not? She wasn’t ashamed. Not of him and not of her love. She lifted her head. Their careers were both very public, and she had no intention of reserving expressions of love to moments when they were alone. Yes, that love was private, not part of their public personas. But the love she felt for Kaz was very much a part of her. And if others were embarrassed by an honest expression of emotion, then they needed to get—

“So you
don’t
have something to tell me?”

“What?” She stared at his face, saw his laughing eyes. And she smiled back at him. “I do have something to say. Something I hope you never get tired of hearing. I love you, Kaz Tokugawa. And I will love you until the day I die. This is
my
vow to you.”

He went completely still. Not even his chest moved, as if she’d stolen his breath.

Had she said something wrong?

“Sabrina, I…” He shook his head.

She was shocked when he hauled her close and then lifted her to twirl her around and around. The crew once again broke into cheers and whistles, and Kaz was grinning when he put her gently on the ground.

“Forever love,” he said. “I accept your vow and I offer it back to you. Forever, Sabrina.”

He stepped away from her, and she let her arms fall. He took another step back. She bit her lip, unsure what he wanted her to do. The intensity in his eyes would not let her look away.

He brought one hand to his heart, and then did the same with the second. When her gaze lifted from the hands at his chest, he offered a slight smile. Then, one arm at a time, he reached wide to each side with a sweeping motion of those very long arms. And then he continued the movement, reaching behind her and wrapping his arms around her back and pulling her close again.

“I accept your heart, Sabrina Tavonesi. And give mine into your care. I call the power of our love to us, to always be the center of our relationship.”

She hugged him tightly, her nails digging into his shirt, while her tears fell freely.

“Sabrina, do you remember when I told you to put your soul into the katana, that that’s what a samurai does?”

She nodded without letting go.

“I’ve discovered that giving my soul to a piece of steel isn’t enough. I won’t turn my back on tradition, on passing part of myself to future warriors and to Bushido, but my soul, like my heart, is yours.”

How could she not want this man?

Her stomach growled. And then it growled again.

“L–lunch?” Sabrina said, breaking their embrace as embarrassment flooded her. “I have to work this afternoon and I can’t work on an empty stomach.” She put her hands to her hips. “And judging from your reaction to the
pre
-lovemaking scene, I think you’d better not watch the full monty. You might do mortal harm to my co-star.”

“You haven’t answered my question,” Kaz said, ignoring the gawking crew.

She lifted up on her toes and kissed him lightly on the lips. “Yes, I have, although you never actually asked me a question,” she said as she pulled away and wiped the lipstick from his lips and cheek with her thumb. “Weren’t you the one who told me that the body knows before the mind?” She wrinkled her nose. “I’m going to think very, very carefully about your proposal as we get to know each other better, but I think”—she ran a hand in front of her body—“no, I
know
just about all I need to.” She put her hand over her heart. “In here.”

He smiled. A smile she could read. A smile that spoke straight to the quick of her. He leaned in to kiss her again.

She put out a hand to hold him at arm’s length. “You should know something about me before you decide you want to marry me. I’m not leaving the business—I’ve discovered it suits me.” She looked up at him from under her lashes. “Well, I
should
say that thanks to you and your grandmother helping me clear my head, I’ve discovered this business of acting suits me. Not to say I’ll never need another of her tune-ups.” She dropped her hands to her sides. “I took a part in another film—it starts shooting in October.”

He hauled in a breath and narrowed his eyes.

“Don’t worry, it’s a romantic comedy.” She held out a hand and led him around to the group of curious crewmembers waiting in line for the food truck, each of them watching her and Kaz’s every move. “No dark forces other than the usual drama that apparently comes with falling in love.”

“Comedy,” he repeated almost blankly.

“I realize people have to laugh or they’ll never make it through the hard times.”

“Comedy,” he said again. Then he smiled. “Maybe your dreams will improve.”

She squeezed his hand and couldn’t ignore the flutter in her heart. “With you beside me,” she said with a wink, “I’m sure they will.”

Epilogue

On opening day two weeks later, Sabrina sat in the stadium with Jackie, Kaz’s grandmother and his sister in seats that Alex had reserved four rows up from first base. It was an exquisite April afternoon, although there was a nip in the air. But after a week of early fog, the blue skies added to the sizzle of excitement as the pre-game ceremonies wound up and the teams were introduced. After a touching rendition of the National Anthem by a group of local fifth-graders, the Giants took the field.

Kaz walked to the mound without looking their way. The Giants’ scheduled starter had injured himself roughhousing with his son the day before, and just that morning Kaz had been tapped for the honor of pitching the opening game.

Alex turned from where he stood on first base and shot Jackie a dazzling smile and then tipped his hat to Sabrina. Sabrina had a pretty good idea that Alex had had a hand in Kaz being on the mound today, but her rascal brother would never admit it. He was so happy that Derrick Ainsley was out of her personal life that he probably would let Kaz name his and Jackie’s firstborn if and when they had one. And though no one talked about it, he’d had a hand in tracking down and putting the paparazzo who’d attacked her behind bars. The guy had a record and accosted one star too many.

Kaz’s grandmother pointed to left field. “See that young man, over there? He’s from Tokyo. I read about him in the paper. He’s a good boy, but he doesn’t speak a word of English.”