AGThanksgiving_JCSmith (6 page)

“I’m working on it. Since
Autumn needs a mate, I guess I’ll be venturing out of the house a bit more than
I had planned at first. Anyone who hopes to snag her will have to go through me
first.”

Ramsey studied him a moment and
Gabriel wasn’t sure he liked the wolf’s look. He could see the gears turning
and wondered what it was Ramsey saw. Or thought he saw. Maybe he should explain
things a bit better?

“Only the family knows this,
but Autumn is Kiera’s cousin,” Gabriel said. “She’s staying here because she’s
family and I promised to watch over her.”

Ramsey looked Autumn over. “I
guess I can see it. Around the eyes maybe.”

“She’s her own person and is
to be treated as such,” Gabriel said. “But she’s also to be treated with the respect
you would give anyone in my family.”

“Think you should pass that
along?” Ramsey asked.

“Not yet. I don’t want wolves
coming forward to be her mate just because they want to be part of the alphas’
family. They’d gain both Connor and me as cousins, making them related to both
alphas. I don’t want this to be a popularity contest.”

Autumn reached over and took
Gabriel’s hand. “I’ll be fine, Gabriel. I’m sure there are plenty of
respectable wolves in the pack who would never think of doing such a thing.”

“Better safe than sorry,” he
muttered.

“With her staying here, you
might have trouble finding her a mate,” Ramsey said. “At least, without telling
them she’s family. If they knew she was a cousin by marriage, then that would
change things.”

Gabriel shook his head. “I
don’t want them to know the connection until I know for sure they want her for
her, and not because she’s related to the alphas.”

“Fair enough.” Ramsey stood.
“If you don’t need me for anything else, Harper was going to hold dinner for
me. Since she’s eating for two, I don’t want to keep her waiting.”

“Of course. Thank you for
stopping by.” Gabriel got up and followed Ramsey to the door, letting the wolf
out. “If there are any single males you think stand out more than the others,
I’d appreciate it if you’d let me know.”

“I’ll review my files and get
back to you. But there’s one I know right away you could trust with your life,
and that’s Deacon. He’s a bit older than her, but that’s not necessarily a bad
thing. There’s an age difference between Harper and me and our relationship has
worked out just fine.”

Gabriel nodded. “I’ll keep
that in mind.”

Ramsey smiled and headed down
the stairs. Gabriel shut the door and returned to Autumn’s side. She’d returned
her attention to the television and was flipping channels again. He watched her
and wondered why he wasn’t jumping at the chance to introduce her to Deacon. He
was familiar with the wolf and believed Ramsey when he said the man was
trustworthy. But something held him back. As Gabriel analyzed his thoughts and
reaction to the situation, he realized that no one would ever be good enough
for Autumn. He didn’t understand it, but he felt close to her already and he
didn’t want to let her go.

It was a ridiculous thought,
of course. He would have to let her go when she found her mate. It wasn’t like
he could move them both into his home. It would show favoritism. Besides, she
would want a place of her own. And yet, the thought of not sitting with her in
the evenings, not sharing a meal with her, left him feeling empty again. He
hadn’t felt empty since she’d shown up on his doorstep. If she left, he was
worried he’d go back into hiding. He told himself that’s all it was, but there
was a small part of him that didn’t believe that.

He studied her profile. Her long
auburn hair hung in waves down past her shoulders to the middle of her back.
Her nose was long and straight, but tipped up on the end just the tiniest bit.
He’d noticed she had a tendency to nibble on her full lower lip, the top a
perfect cupid’s bow. Her face was softly rounded, her cheeks blooming with
color. Gabriel’s gaze took in the rest of her. She was more endowed than Kiera
had been, but her ample bosom was proportionate to the rest of her. Her stomach
was rounded, her hips were flared. There was the smallest indentation where her
waist nipped in a bit on the sides. Her figure wasn’t quite an hourglass, but
she definitely had curves. She was petite like Kiera, barely reaching his
shoulder even in the high heeled boots she’d worn that morning.

Hell. He didn’t understand
how, or why, but he was attracted to her. He still loved Kiera, and knew he
always would, but he couldn’t deny the warmth he felt when he was in Autumn’s
presence. Maybe his alpha senses had been out of whack, but the longer he looked
at her the more certain he became that she was meant to be part of their pack.
Even more startling was the clarity that she was supposed to be part of his
family.

No. He wouldn’t go there.
Couldn’t go there. Kiera and Radha had only been buried four months ago. If he
ever moved on, he would wait at least a year or two, give himself a proper
amount of time to grieve their loss. He would just have to fight the attraction
he felt for Autumn and help her find a nice, safe mate. Someone who wouldn’t
break her heart, who could love her one day. Surely he was capable of doing
that.

When the doorbell rang again,
he went to pay for the pizza and determined that he would put more distance
between Autumn and himself. It was for the best, for the good of all involved.
And if he missed her when she was gone, that was his problem. Even if he were
ready to take a new mate, she deserved someone whole, someone who could give
themselves to her completely. Gabriel wasn’t sure he could ever be that man. He
didn’t know if he
wanted
to be that
man. If he moved on, that would mean he’d let Kiera go. He wasn’t sure he’d
ever be ready to do that. Even if a voice did whisper that it’s what she would
have wanted.

Chapter Seven

Over the next week, Autumn met
several pack members and spent more time with Marin. She’d found that she
thoroughly enjoyed her time with Cole’s mate. The woman made her laugh and made
her feel like she was part of something special. Autumn hadn’t felt that way
since her mother died. Sitting in a chair on Marin’s patio, she looked out over
the group of wolves who had gathered there for an impromptu barbeque. Gabriel
had hovered nearby all afternoon but, so far, he hadn’t scared anyone away.
She’d heard a few rumbles from him a time or two, but he hadn’t chased anyone
off.

Unfortunately.

It wasn’t that Autumn wasn’t
enjoying herself, but she felt like the males were trying too hard. Men, who
hadn’t given her a second look over the first few weeks she’d been in Ashton
Grove, suddenly found her interesting? She didn’t buy it. No, she couldn’t deny
that the word must be out she was looking for a mate. Were they so desperate to
be with someone that they would just take whoever came along? It was insulting.

Morgan, a wolf who had joined
the pack the same week as her, brought her another drink. She supposed he was
good looking with that dark, sable hair and milk chocolate eyes. There was
kindness in him, but she wanted more than that. She didn’t feel so much as a
spark between them and wondered if she’d ever feel it. The closest she came was
the feel of Gabriel’s touch. A warmth suffused her from head to toe whenever he
touched her, a touch that made her think of home. It figured, the only male
she’d responded to was one she couldn’t have.

“Thank you, Morgan,” she said
as she accepted the drink.

He looked around at the crowd
before returning his gaze to her. “You should know, there’s talk. About you.”

“Let me guess. Everyone is
wondering why I’m staying at Gabriel’s house.”

He smiled. “They stopped
speculating after the next rumor began.”

“And what would that be?”

“That you’re in need of a
mate. There are a lot of males in this pack who want to settle down. It’s no
secret you’re friends with Marin and are close to the alphas’ family. I think
most are hoping to elevate their status by claiming you.”

She frowned. This was what
Gabriel had hoped to avoid by not claiming her as family in front of the pack.
It seemed it hadn’t worked.

“And you?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I’ve wanted to
settle down for a while. There are quite a few single women in the pack, but
most are holding out for their true mates. But you’re human, and humans don’t
have true mates.”

“Tell that to Marin or Chloe.
They’re both human, yet they have true mates.”

“I’ll concede that point. I
guess what I’m saying is that no one here feels you’re their true mate. So
either you have one in another pack, or you’re just a regular human who can
fall in love with whomever you please.”

Autumn felt her temper spark.
“So you’ve decided since I don’t have a true mate that I’ll be good enough for
you. That you can settle with me, knowing your true mate is still out there
somewhere.”

He shrugged. “Lots of wolves
settle down with someone other than their mate.”

“How big of you,” she snarled.
“Well, you can save yourself some time because I won’t be mating with you. Now
or ever. If a man, or wolf, wants me, they’re going to have to be worthy of me,
and they have to want
me
not just
think that anyone will do.”

She felt Gabriel move closer
to her and realized she’d raised her voice. More than a few people were looking
their way.

Morgan’s jaw tightened. “I was
willing to overlook the fact you don’t take care of yourself, but maybe that
was a mistake.”

Autumn gasped in outrage. “How
dare you!”

Gabriel placed a hand on her
shoulder. “Everything okay?”

“He called me fat! And thought
he would be doing me a favor by settling with me, a mere human.”

Gabriel growled. “If you like
your head attached to your shoulders, you’ll walk away. Quickly.”

Morgan looked pissed as he
stormed off. Even after he was gone, Autumn still felt angry and hurt by his
words. Is that how all the males saw her? As some fat human who would be lucky
to have them because no one wanted her? The thought made her ill. She’d hoped
for Prince Charming and instead had found a bunch of frogs. And not the kind
that turned into a handsome prince, but the slimy kind with warts.

“Do you think everyone feels
that way?” she asked Gabriel softly. “Am I just a joke to them?”

His hand tightened on her
shoulder before he knelt at her side. “You could never be a joke. Don’t paint
everyone in the pack with the same brush as that asshole. Connor is here and
saw the whole thing. I’m sure he’ll be having words with the wolf before the
week is over.”

“It doesn’t matter. You can’t
change someone. I’m sure he’s a perfectly nice guy, to everyone else. Maybe I
just rub people the wrong way.”

“Don’t think that way. I love
spending time with you, and one of these wolves will feel the same way about
you. I’m sure your mate is here somewhere.”

“Gabriel, I’ve met nearly
every single wolf, and some non-wolves, in the pack. Most have been polite, but
there hasn’t been even the teensiest spark. I haven’t met a single one that I
would want to kiss, much less spend the rest of my life with.”

“Then we’ll hope Eric returns
soon with good news. I’m not above kicking a little fairy ass if that’s what it
takes to keep you safe.”

She smiled. “Then I can forget
these meetings and just carry on with my day to day life?”

“If that’s what you want.”

“It is. I’d rather spend my
mornings writing, my afternoons with you, and my weekends with Marin. I like
Ashton Grove, Gabriel. It feels like home to me, but trying to force a
relationship between one of your pack members and me just isn’t going to work.
I truly believe my grandfather was right and that my mate is a wolf, but maybe
we just weren’t meant to be together.”

His gaze caressed her face.
“You’ve met him, haven’t you? Your mate.”

“I think so,” she said softly.
“But I can’t have him.”

They stared at one another and
she knew the exact moment he realized she was speaking of him. There was a
brief look of yearning in his gaze before he shuttered it and stood, breaking
their contact. She knew he wasn’t ready for another mate, might never be ready
for one. But she was selfish and still wanted to spend time with him. She would
take whatever crumbs of affection he could give her.

“If you want me to move out,”
she said, “I can have my things packed in a day. Most of it is still in boxes
at the garage anyway. I’m sure my apartment is still vacant.”

Pain flashed in his eyes and
it gave her hope that he didn’t want her to leave.

“You can stay,” he said. “I’m
not going to throw you out because you have feelings for me.”

“Is it going to make things
weird between us?”

“I need some time to think.”

She nodded. “If you want to go
home, I’m sure Chloe and Michael would drop me off on their way home.”

“I don’t want to leave you
here alone.”

“Gabriel, I’m surrounded by
your family. I’m hardly alone.” She smiled softly. “I’m sure I’ll be fine for
an hour or two.”

He looked like he wanted to
say more, but he merely nodded his head and walked off. After he was gone, the
single wolves talked to her a bit more freely, but she’d already made up her
mind that she wouldn’t be taking a mate. They were all nice, but they weren’t
the one
. The only man she could love had
left to deal with his inner demons, demons that she wasn’t sure he would ever
conquer.

***

The fallen leaves crunched
under Gabriel’s booted feet as he made his way across the cemetery. It wasn’t
hard to find the gravesite he sought, the sword wielding angel on top marking
the way. He stopped in front of it and fell to his knees. It had been so long
since he’d been here, but he saw that both Kiera’s and Radha’s graves had fresh
flowers. He supposed he had his family to thank for that, since he hadn’t been
able to make himself leave the Victorian even long enough to come here. It was
his first time seeing the graves since that first week after the demon attack.
He’d thought emotions would choke him as he kneeled here, but all he felt was a
sense of peace.

“Ah, Kiera. I’m in a mess,
love. My life has been a wreck without you. I’ve been so lost, so empty. But
then your cousin showed up on my doorstep.” He smiled. “You’d like her.”

He reached out and traced the
letters of her name in the marble.

“What am I supposed to do,
sweetheart? In my heart, I know you would want me to move on, to find love
again. There wasn’t a selfish bone in your body and I know you would want only
the best for me. But how do I give myself permission to love again? I feel like
I’m betraying your memory when I enjoy holding her hand or just spending time
with her.”

He tipped his face up the sun,
letting it warm his skin as a cool fall breeze rustled what was left of the
leaves in a nearby tree.

“If only I could see you one
more time, could talk to you. I need to hear your voice again, even if it’s
just for you to threaten to kick my ass. And I have no doubt you would if you
knew how I’d been living my life for the past four months. I know the pack
understood why I distanced myself, but I feel like I’ve brought shame on our
family with my behavior. I’m the alpha; I’m supposed to be stronger than
everyone else. I’m supposed to lead them no matter my losses.”

He sighed and stared at her
name some more, as if it would conjure her spirit.

“Just spending a week with
Autumn has made me feel better, made me feel almost whole again. Is it wrong
that I wonder if her body is as soft as it looks? If her pink lips would taste
like strawberries? Part of me yearns for her touch while the other half feels
guilty for thinking about another woman that way. I swore I would never forget
you, would never stop loving you. Is it possible to love more than one woman at
the same time?”

The wind blew a handful of
dead leaves across her grave and he shoved them away.

“I told her she didn’t have to
move out. God knows the mere thought of her leaving made me want to cry. You
were the only woman who ever made me feel weak like that.” He smiled. “Must run
in the family.”

The thought of Autumn’s family
sobered him.

“She’s in trouble, Kiera, and
I’m terrified I won’t be able to save her – just like I couldn’t save you. I
don’t know a lot about fairies, but the outcasts sound every bit as ruthless as
the demons. I don’t know if I can stand there and watch another woman die, a
woman I care about. I can’t lie to myself anymore. Whether I want to admit it
or not, I have feelings for her. I’d like to think you’d approve of me being
with her. If you could hand pick my next mate, I truly think you would choose
Autumn.

“She’s sweet, sometimes shy,
and has a wicked sense of humor once you draw her out of her shell. And she’s
survived so much. All I want to do is wrap her up and hide her away so that
nothing can hurt her ever again. I’m not sure I even felt this protective of
you, as much as I hate to admit that. I guess I knew you could take care of
yourself.” He grimaced. “Or I thought you could. I should have listened to
Colin when he insisted that you train to fight. Maybe if I hadn’t been so
blind, so arrogant that things would go my way, maybe you’d still be here with
me. But then, if you were here, would I be helping Autumn now? Or would we have
even noticed she was here?”

Gabriel took a deep breath.
“Autumn says that she believes everything happens for a reason. She said if she
hadn’t been abused by her mate, and if she hadn’t been fearful her alpha would
force her to mate someone not of her choosing, she never would have come to
Ashton Grove. What I saw as chance she saw as fate. Was she destined to come
here? Did the fates realize that she would need me? I’d like to kick their
asses for taking you away from me, but Adriel assures me that
Radha
and you are in heaven. That thought gives me
comfort.”

Tears gathered in his eyes. “I
wish I could see you. Just one more time. I’d give anything to just look at you
one last time.”

He closed his eyes and the
tears slipped down his cheeks. The air around him warmed and he opened his eyes
to a brilliant light. He lifted an arm to shield his eyes until the light
dissipated. As his gaze focused again, his eyes widened and his jaw went slack.

“The archangel Gabriel decided
to honor your request,” the angel,
Remiel
, said.

Gabriel heard the words, but
he barely acknowledged the angel’s presence. Standing next to him, in flowing
white robes, was his beloved wife. More tears slid down his cheeks as he looked
at her smiling face.

“Kiera.”

She moved forward and ran her
fingers through his hair. “I’m here.”

“I’ve missed you.”

“I know. I’ve been watching
you and it broke my heart, watching you hide out in the house, haunting
Radha’s
and our room. I was happy when Autumn arrived and
drew you out into the sunshine again.”