Age Before Beauty (17 page)

“I like this one.” Joan slid the catalog across the mattress and tapped on Soft Sienna.

Allie hopped off the bed. “I have that one in stock.”

She retrieved the appropriate box and handed it to Joan, then made a note of the item number on the sales receipt.

“Thanks.” Joan pushed the papers out of the way and laid Joanie down on the mattress. She spoke without looking at Allie. “Listen, I wanted to apologize for getting upset about you not bringing Joanie to church. Mom’s right. This is totally yours and Eric’s decision.”

Allie scooped the papers up and shuffled them into a stack before shoving them back in the folder. She’d known Joan was upset, and the fact that she hadn’t called or come by for two whole days proved it. From the time they were little, Joan always took a while to work through her emotions, whereas Allie reacted in a flash and got over things just as quickly.

“I appreciate that,” Allie said.

Joan put an index finger inside a tiny fist and absently caressed the little fingers that closed around it. “But listen, I do think it’s important that Joanie is raised going to church. Even going to the nursery every Sunday is important, because she’ll grow up comfortable there. The nursery workers are godly women, so it would be good for her to be around them.” She ducked her head toward the baby so Allie couldn’t see her face.

Allie studied her sister’s profile through the straight brown hair spilling forward to tickle Joanie’s skin. Joan must feel really strongly about this, though Allie couldn’t imagine why. True, Mom and Daddy had taken them to church every Sunday when they were kids, but she couldn’t see that it had made that much difference. Their lives weren’t any better off than people who didn’t go to church. Daddy still had affair after affair, and her parents’ marriage still ended in divorce.

She shook her head. “I don’t get it, Joan. You act like there’s something mystical about that building. There isn’t. Just going to a meeting every Sunday and sitting in a pew to listen to a sermon doesn’t change anything. You can look at our own family and see that.”

Joan’s head snapped up and she caught Allie’s gaze. “Listening to a sermon doesn’t change anything. Jesus does. I wonder if Daddy ever really knew Jesus.”

Now it was Allie’s turn to look away. In the past few months Joan had started to use that name so familiarly. She talked about Jesus like he was a regular guy you could walk up to on the street. It made Allie feel weird. She was okay with praying before meals and all that, but this was getting a little too personal. “Well, if he didn’t, then that proves my point. Daddy went to church. It didn’t make a difference. It didn’t stop him from wrecking his marriage and our lives.” She got up from the bed and stepped toward the desk, her back to Joan. “Actually, he’s still wrecking our lives.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Allie put the folder down and reached up to pull the curtains aside. Clouds covered the sky from one horizon to another, creating a white ceiling that left everything below looking dismal. The October wind blew dead leaves down the street in front of her house. “Just that our parents’ relationship continues to affect us even though we’re adults. That’s a psychological fact.”

“Are you and Eric having problems?”

Nothing slow about that reaction. Allie wished she had kept her mouth shut. She was just being paranoid, and now Joan would know it. But this Molly thing was starting to worry her. Maybe talking about it with a totally sympathetic person would help her sort out her feelings.

She turned and faced Joan. “I’m sure it’s nothing. A baby changes the family dynamics, you know. I’ve read up on it. Now that Eric is a father, he’s starting to reevaluate himself and his life in terms of his definition of what a father is.”

A grin flashed on Joan’s face. “You’re always psychoanalyzing everyone.”

“It’s true,” Allie insisted.

“I’m sure it is. But I don’t think you’re concerned with Eric’s definition. What is
your
definition of a father?”

The room became quiet as Joan’s question echoed in Allie’s mind. Her sister was right. Allie had married a fun-loving guy, her best friend, a man who cared about others and loved to help anyone in need, and who shared her passion for life. With the birth of their child, Eric had become something else in her mind. Allie suddenly found herself married to a father. Since her own father had hurt her so much, being married to one was emotionally risky for her.

“Okay.” She struggled to sort out her thoughts as she spoke. “That’s a valid question. Here’s another one. Do you think I’ve unconsciously married someone just like Daddy? You know, tried to replicate my childhood in some weird way.”

“No.” The speed of Joan’s answer gave Allie comfort. Then she went on. “Daddy wasn’t all bad, you know. We had a lot of good times as a family before he and Mom divorced. So if Eric does have a few of Daddy’s characteristics, that doesn’t mean he’s going to end up having an affair and divorcing you.” Her voice softened. “That’s what you’re worried about, isn’t it?”

Tears stung Allie’s eyes, which surprised her. Did she really think Eric was having an affair? No. Not really. But she couldn’t deny the fact that their relationship the past few weeks was stormier than it had ever been. Some of that was her fault, of course. If she was going to make a go of her Varie Cose business, she had to pour a lot of effort into it. Why couldn’t he understand that? Why couldn’t he be supportive instead of demanding more attention than she could give him right now?

“Listen.” Joan reached out and took Allie’s hand. “I don’t know exactly what you’re going through, but we had the same father, remember? You’re asking the same questions I asked a couple of months ago. I found the answer. We have a perfect heavenly Father, Allie, one with none of the faults of our earthly father.”

Allie looked into Joan’s eyes. She was so earnest, so passionate about her religion. And she had found something a few months ago. The difference in her was noticeable. Joan was more peaceful, more at ease. Happier than Allie could ever remember. Tori attributed that change to Joan’s developing relationship with Ken, but Allie wasn’t so sure. The changes in Joan went too deep to be rooted in a relationship with a man.

She squeezed her sister’s hand. “I’m so glad you’ve found your answer, Joan. But that doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. I think we all have to work out our own way around life’s problems.”

Joan hesitated, then gave a very slight nod. “You’re right. We all have to come to our own decisions. Just know that I’m praying for you and Eric. If there’s anything I can do, you only have to ask.”

Gratitude washed over Allie. She might lack a good father, but she was lucky enough to have a couple of incredibly supportive sisters. She put her arms around Joan and hugged. “Thank you.”

Allie spent hours that day in front of her computer. She took a couple of breaks to nurse Joanie and after lunch bundled her up for a walk in the stroller around the neighborhood to give them both a breath of fresh air. The rest of the time Betty seemed more than happy to tend her granddaughter while Allie worked, and Allie gratefully let her. When she finally sat back in her desk chair and smiled at her monitor, her shoulders ached from sitting so long.

Her database was a work of art. She even designed easy-to-use data entry screens and keyed in all her customers’ names and contact information, along with the specific Varie Cose products they’d ordered. She could print reports that listed and totaled all the orders by hostess, customer, or product. And she’d had a flash of genius when she realized she could scan in the original order forms with her little all-in-one printer, eliminating the need to keep paper copies. She might have a bug or two to work out over the next few days, but all in all, she thought her database was a breathtaking work of sheer brilliance.

But an examination of her new sales report revealed a disappointing truth. She had not sold as much as she thought. Though she’d conducted a couple of big events, when she totaled up all the sales, she was averaging less than a hundred and fifty dollars per party. Her cost on the product was 50 percent, which meant her profit was less than seventy-five dollars per party. Considering the number of hours she spent preparing for each one and doing the follow-up work, she didn’t want to think about how much she was making on an hourly basis. A look at her expenses showed her that she wasn’t as close to becoming profitable as she’d hoped. In fact, she was still a long way from breaking even.

The phone rang, and she jumped up to grab the extension on the nightstand before the second ring. Her youngest sister’s voice cut her off before she could even finish saying, “Hello?”

“Listen, you have got to stop calling my co-workers. It’s getting so I can’t walk into the break room without someone telling me you’ve left a ton of messages on their answering machine.”

Allie winced at the irritation in Tori’s voice. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t called anyone except Heidi, and that’s because of her makeover party.”

“So you haven’t called Diana or Fran?”

“Well, yes, but they came to Heidi’s party, not yours.”

“Doesn’t matter. They all know you’re my sister, so when you start acting like a used car salesman, they blame me.”

Allie dropped to perch on the edge of the bed. “I’m not acting like a used car salesman! They all indicated on their customer cards that they might be interested in hosting a party themselves. I’m just following up like any good businesswoman would do.”

A grunt of Tori’s aggravated breath sounded through the phone. “Do me a favor, would you? Stop trying to do business with the people at my office. It’s becoming awkward for me. I wish I’d never had that party for you.”

Tori really sounded angry. Allie had never heard that edge in her voice before. Mom did say the other day that Tori was under a lot of pressure at work. The last thing Allie wanted to do was cause more stress for her sister, even though Sally Jo insisted constant follow-up was the only way to ensure that your business continued to expand. “Sure, Tori. I won’t call any of your friends anymore if you don’t want me to.”

“Well.” Tori relented a bit. “You don’t have to go that far. You can call the girls at my apartment complex. Carrie booked a party, didn’t she?”

“It’s tomorrow night, in fact. I thought you might be there.”

“I have to work.” She lowered her voice. “Honestly, Allie, this job is starting to get to me. I didn’t get out of here until after nine last night and had to be back for a meeting this morning at eight thirty. When I get home, I’m so keyed up I can’t sleep.”

Allie knew what she meant. Sometimes she lay in bed at night, and all she could think about were a million and one things she wanted to do with her business. But that would calm down after she got everything running smoothly. Maybe Tori’s job was the same.

“Are you in the middle of a big project or something?”

“Yes. There’s an account my new boss is trying to land, a big one.”

“Then maybe when it’s over things will calm down for you.”

“Maybe.” She sounded uncertain. “I hope so. Listen, I need to go. Uh …” A pause. “Thanks for understanding about the phone calls. Sorry I was snippy.”

Allie smiled. “Hey, if you can’t be snippy with your big sister, who can you be snippy with?”

After she hung up, Allie stayed on the bed and stared at the phone. Her closing words to Tori held a lot of truth. A girl knew where she stood with her sisters. After all, they were stuck with you. No matter how ill-tempered or annoying you acted toward them, they couldn’t divorce you. And they always forgave you when you came to your senses.

She heaved herself off the bed and returned to her computer. She wanted to do one more thing before Eric got home. Her new credit card allowed online account access, and she wanted to cross-check that against the records of her purchases. Just to make sure everything balanced out.

The computer took a second to pull up her account after she entered her user ID and password. When it did, Allie let out an involuntary cry of alarm. The balance displayed on the screen was huge, much more than she thought she’d spent. That had to be wrong. She clicked the link to display the detail and scanned down the list of transactions. Had she used the card that many times? A quick review told her that every one of the purchases on the list were valid.

She collapsed against the back of the chair. Why hadn’t she kept a running total of her expenditures? She didn’t have any idea they would add up to so much money.

If Eric found out, he would be furious. Allie glanced furtively behind her at the door. He would be home any minute. She clicked the logout button and closed the window. The computer’s wallpaper picture appeared, a shot of Joanie at four weeks, but this time it failed to bring a smile to her face. She needed to book a lot more parties and hope the ladies bought stuff she had in inventory.

Besides, she didn’t need to worry about Eric’s reaction. She lifted her chin. This was
her
business. She could handle it on her own without having to answer to him.

A touch of alarm twisted her stomach as her gaze fell on all the products on her shelves. She forced her muscles to relax. She could handle this. So what if she had to make a partial payment to her credit card for a couple of months? Though she hadn’t planned on doing that, it wasn’t a total disaster. At least the interest was tax deductible. Wasn’t it?

15

Eric was pulling out of the parking lot after work on Wednesday evening when his cell phone rang. A group of costumed trick-or-treaters stood on the sidewalk, waiting to cross the street behind his truck. He didn’t take his gaze off the road to read the caller ID. Instead, he stuck the earpiece into his ear and punched the Talk button so he could shift gears safely as he talked.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Eric, it’s Ken Fletcher.”

Ken had become a fixture at Allie’s family dinners every Sunday afternoon for the past few months since he and Joan started going out. He was a doctor at the hospital emergency room, and seemed like a nice enough guy, but too religious for Eric’s taste. “Hey, Ken. What’s up?”