Agatha Raisin: As The Pig Turns (17 page)

‘Why?’

‘My father doesn’t believe in stag parties, and we had a small party last night for the family and relatives. I was teasing Sue about names for the baby and telling her she
shouldn’t drink so much. She said she’d had an abortion because otherwise she wouldn’t have fitted into her wedding dress. Look, the reason I proposed was because she said she was
pregnant.’

‘So why didn’t you just put a stop to everything there and then?’

‘I hadn’t the courage. So many arrangements.’

Toni could hear someone banging and shouting, ‘Come out of there immediately!’

‘Got to go,’ he said, and rang off.

Toni returned to her colleagues and told them what Simon had said. ‘Of all the wimps!’ exclaimed Agatha.

‘You got him into this,’ said Toni. ‘If it hadn’t been for your interference, he’d never have joined the army.’

‘That’s unfair,’ said Charles quietly. ‘Next thing you’ll be telling us that Agatha got Sue pregnant.’

‘Sorry,’ Toni mumbled.

‘Well, I’m going back home to get out of this hot clobber. Oh, look. Here comes James.’

James, as impeccably dressed as Charles, came hurrying up. ‘Have I missed the wedding?’

They rapidly explained to him what had happened. ‘It was a bit of a dirty trick to tell him at the very last moment,’ said James roundly. ‘I would say he’s well out of
it. I’m hungry. Anyone want lunch?’

Aware of Agatha’s beady eyes on them, willing them to go away, they all muttered apologies. ‘I’m free,’ said Agatha cheerfully. ‘Let’s go.’

Over an Italian meal, Agatha told James what had been happening. ‘I feel it’s all to do with that factory of Staikov’s. I wish we could get in there. Patrick
says it’s well guarded. Now, that’s suspicious.’

‘Not necessarily,’ remarked James. ‘Lots of expensive leather to guard.’

‘I’d love to get in there and have a look.’

‘Agatha! I’m through with breaking and entering. What we could do . . .’

‘Yes?’ How Agatha loved the sound of that ‘we’.

‘If there’s any nefarious business going on, it would probably take place at night. We could go up there after midnight and have a look.’

‘Oh, James, thank you. When you just cleared off, I thought you’d lost interest.’

‘I have to make a living.’

‘But you have independent means.’

‘True, but I feel pretty useless when I’m not working, and I enjoy the travel. I’m about to do something new. Next month, I’m doing a documentary for the BBC on British
expats who sold up here and moved to Spain to start a new life.’

‘You’re going to be a television presenter! I could handle the publicity for you.’

‘No, Agatha. I prefer a quiet life.’

Agatha studied him, her mind a whirl of thoughts. He would have researchers, camera crew, make-up girl, all the usual circus. Some of the girls might be very pretty. She pulled herself together
and told herself not to be silly.

‘I’m thinking of closing down the agency for two weeks and giving everyone a holiday,’ said Agatha. ‘I don’t want to put any of them in danger.’

‘Good idea. Talking about danger, I hope Simon doesn’t start chasing after Toni again.’

‘He behaved disgracefully.’

‘Not quite. He should have called off the whole thing the night before, the minute he knew she wasn’t pregnant. Still, he’s very young. And would it be so very bad if he and
Toni got together?’

‘I think he’s unstable,’ said Agatha mulishly. ‘Let’s make plans for tonight.’

‘Where’s Charles?’

‘Gone off home. You know Charles. He flits in and out of my life and I never know when I am going to see him next.’

Toni heard her doorbell ring at nine that evening. Because Agatha was paying her a good wage, she had invested in an intercom.

‘Who is it?’ she asked.

‘Simon.’

Toni hesitated for a moment and then pressed the buzzer to let him in.

Then she opened the door and watched him mount the stairs. ‘I didn’t think they’d let you out after the mess you created,’ she said.

‘Don’t you start. I’ve had enough of it.’ Simon crossed the room and slumped into an armchair. With his odd jester features, he looked like a discarded puppet.

Toni shut the door and then sat down in an armchair facing him. ‘You could have had children once you were married.’

‘Fact is,’ said Simon, running a weary hand through his thick hair, ‘I’d begun to go off her. We drink a lot in the regiment, but once we got back to Mircester, she just
kept on drinking buckets. She’s pretty coarse when she’s drunk.’

‘So why wait until the last minute?’

‘I just panicked. I want out of the army.’

‘Why did you join up in the first place?’

Toni dreaded hearing him say, ‘It was because of you.’

But he sighed and shifted uneasily in his chair. ‘I’d begun to find the detective work boring. I don’t like working for women, and Agatha is not the most sympathetic of
creatures.’

‘So it wasn’t because of me?’

‘I’d like to flatter you, but no, it wasn’t. But now I’m free, we can start to see each other.’

‘I don’t want to any more,’ said Toni. ‘And don’t pretend to look miserable. Own up, Simon! You want a shoulder to cry on.’

He grinned suddenly. ‘You always were sharp. Anyway, Dad’s fixed up for me to see a shrink.’

‘Why? Because of Sue?’

‘No, I want out of the army, and a sympathetic family shrink friend is going to diagnose me with post-traumatic stress.’

‘But won’t the army want to examine you as well?’

‘They won’t get a chance. I’ll be in a loony bin run by this psychiatrist. Mum doesn’t want me to go back to Afghanistan.’

‘You’re thoroughly spoilt,’ said Toni.

‘I certainly am, and I plan to make the most of it.’

‘I think you’d better leave. I’m tired. I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow.’

Simon stood up. He tried to kiss her, but she ducked her head and then went and held the door open.

When she had closed it behind him, she sat down and wondered if Agatha had been right about him all along.

Agatha and James drove off after midnight through the sleeping village of Carsely. ‘If this hot weather goes on,’ said James, ‘there’ll be a hosepipe
ban. How’s your garden?’

‘Fine,’ said Agatha defensively, thinking of her wilting plants that she kept forgetting to water.

‘We’ll need to park somewhere well outside the estate and walk,’ said James.

‘It’s pretty open ground all round,’ said Agatha.

‘There is a bit of wood and scrub at the back. As far as I remember, not all the units are fenced off. I checked it out earlier after supper.’

They drove on in silence. ‘Oh, look,’ said James as they neared the industrial estate. ‘There are clouds building up in the west.’

‘I hope there’s not going to be another storm like there was on the night Roy was kidnapped,’ said Agatha, thinking all the while, What if James is a success as a television
personality? He’ll be famous. There will be beautiful women after him. Look at the way he nearly married that airhead. But does it matter any more? She felt that old obsession she once had
for him was being aroused by the competitive streak in her nature. But then she remembered all the hurt and jealousy and sheer misery that obsession had brought her, and she gave a dry little
sob.

James stopped the car abruptly. ‘Are you all right? Severed heads and murders are enough to shake the strongest person.’

‘I’m fine,’ said Agatha defiantly. ‘Press on.’

James took a small earthy track leading round to the back of the industrial site. He switched off the headlights and parked just inside.

The site had once been a camp for Polish refugees during the Second World War. Old people remembered when the Poles had their own shops and even a cinema. Most of the businesses were now in old
Nissen huts. But Country Fashions was a large, square brick building with a staff entrance at the side and a loading bay at the back.

‘You see that mound of grass and earth over there?’ whispered James. ‘We can lie behind it and get a good look at the loading bay.’

‘It’s clouding over,’ Agatha whispered back.

‘I brought a couple of night-vision binoculars,’ said James, opening a travel bag. He handed a pair to Agatha. ‘Now, we wait.’

The night dragged on. Clouds covered the moon, and then a light rain began to fall. ‘Let’s give up,’ moaned Agatha.

‘Keep your voice down. I can hear something coming. Here comes the security guard.’

The rumble of a vehicle drew nearer. The guard opened the gates to the loading bay. A thickset man came out of the building. ‘Evening, Mr Staikov,’ said the guard.

‘That must be the son,’ whispered Agatha. ‘He’s taken over the business.’

The truck rumbled to a stop. The back doors were opened and two men jumped out. The driver and another man who had been in the front seat came to join them.

They began to unload rolls of leather from the back and carry them into the building. Then they heard Staikov say clearly, ‘Bring the paperwork into the office and I’ll sign it. I
want to get to my bed. You were expected this afternoon.’

‘Bloody French,’ said one man. ‘Strike at Calais. Held us up for hours, it did.’

Agatha felt a sinking feeling of disappointment. The load should have arrived in broad daylight. Staikov was inside signing paperwork. The rain was coming down heavier.

She tried to get to her feet, but James pulled her down. ‘We can’t risk being seen. Wait until they drive off.’

To Agatha, it seemed to take ages. Her soaking hair was plastered to her head. Her clothes were drenched.

At long last, the truck drove off, the gates were closed, and James said they could move.

In the car, he turned on the heater. ‘This is awful,’ moaned Agatha.

‘It’s good for the gardens.’

‘I’m not a plant!’

Although she knew she was risking valuable business, Agatha told her assembled staff in the morning that she was closing down the agency for two weeks. She said they had been
under threat for too long and it would do them all good to get a break.

There were a few grumbles that she hadn’t really given them time to make holiday arrangements, yet each of them was secretly relieved. Ever since Agatha had been sent that severed head and
Roy kidnapped, they had all felt uneasy.

‘Where will you go?’ Toni asked Agatha.

‘Don’t know. I think I’d like to potter around, have tea with Mrs Bloxby, do village things.’

‘Doesn’t sound like you,’ remarked Phil.

‘Well, I’m weary of the whole business. Maybe if I just switch off from it all, something will occur to me.’

‘We have cases outstanding,’ Mrs Freedman pointed out.

‘Nothing that can’t be put on hold. Nothing really but nasty divorces. If we had an outstanding one about a missing child, then that would be different.’

Toni went to her computer and looked up a website that offered last-minute holidays. Last-minute or not, the prices seemed high. She went out to find a travel agent. The pavements were steaming
under the hot sun after last night’s rain. It’s almost tropical, thought Toni. She walked to a small travel agency at the corner of the street, pushed open the door and went in.

‘Hi, Tone,’ a voice greeted her.

Toni saw Chelsea Flitter, the girl she had last seen working as a receptionist at Mixden’s detective agency. ‘What are you doing here?’ asked Toni.

‘It’s better here. You get free trips. I’m off to Las Vegas.’

‘Oh, you lucky thing!’ exclaimed Toni. ‘I’ve always wanted to play the tables, just once.’

‘Here, you could do it!’ said Chelsea excitedly. ‘I’m off tonight. It’s a holiday agency called Summerflight. They’ve got their own planes. Leaves Gatwick
Airport. Only four days. You could share my room. All you’d need is the money for the ticket and I can book that now. It’ll be more fun with two of us. Come on, Tone. We may even meet a
couple of millionaires.’

‘I’ll do it,’ said Toni.

‘Attagirl!’

The flight was uncomfortable at first, the computer having crammed the passengers into all the seats at the front. Anything to eat or drink had to be purchased, and they even
had to put one pound in the slot to use the toilet. Fortunately, the plane was only half-full and they were able to find other seats and stretch out.

The hotel was called the Old Prairie Ranch and was on the outskirts of Las Vegas near the airport. The architecture could be described as Plastic Log Cabin. Their room opened out on to a dusty
outside corridor. It had a tired look. A cockroach lurked in the shower. Toni began to wish she had not come, but nothing seemed to dim Chelsea’s enthusiasm.

‘You know, I’ve always admired you, Tone,’ she said. ‘If I went a bit easier on the war paint and brushed my hair down, we could look like sisters.’

Toni was tired and suggested they should have a few hours’ sleep before setting off into town.

They ordered hamburgers and Cokes from room service, and then both fell into a heavy sleep.

Toni was awakened by Chelsea shaking her. ‘Show a leg, girl. Time to hit the town.’

Las Vegas
was
exciting as their taxi deposited them at the Rio Grande Hotel and Casino. There was a hectic buzz in the air. The whole city seemed a symphony of flashing neon lights.

Toni was wearing a simple black sheath with a row of pearls around her neck. Chelsea had also put on a black dress and had toned down her make-up. At first, as they entered, Toni felt almost
overdressed. Elderly men and women were crouched at the slot machines, their eyes glazed, pulling the levers.

‘I want to play roulette,’ said Toni.

But Chelsea had noticed that the people at the machines were not all old. A young man with a cowboy hat pushed back on his head winked at her. ‘You go play roulette,’ said Chelsea.
‘I’ll try my luck here.’

‘What if we lose each other?’ protested Toni.

‘I’ve got a mobile which can work here. What about you?’

‘Yes, I’ve got one of those.’

‘Good, we can text each other.’

Feeling very young and self-conscious, Toni made her way to the roulette tables after buying a modest amount of chips. Not knowing whether she was allowed to use a camera or not, she still
wanted a record of her visit. Agatha had given her a present of a ‘spy’ camera in the shape of a cigarette lighter. Toni had it inside a clutch handbag. She fished it out along with a
packet of cigarettes. No one seemed to be smoking. Was there a smoking ban? Never mind, she told herself, if someone thinks I’m going to light up, I’m sure they’ll stop me. She
rapidly clicked off a series of photographs of the people around the roulette tables. Then she saw a place at a table where she could push in.