Against the Rules (5 page)

The familiar smells of hay and horses, liniment and leather greeted her as she entered the barn and walked the dark length of the aisle to the pool of light that revealed two men standing before the stall of the pregnant mare. Rule turned as she emerged into the light. “Cat, this is Floyd Stoddard, our foaling man. Floyd, meet Cathryn Ashe.”

Floyd was a compact, powerfully built man with leathery skin and thinning brown hair. He acknowledged the introduction by nodding his head and drawling, “Ma'am,” in a soft voice totally at odds with his appearance.

Cathryn made a more conventional greeting, but there was no chance for further conversation. Rule said briefly, “Tell me if anything happens,” and took her arm. She found herself being led away, out of the circle of light and into the darkness of the barn. She didn't have good night vision, and she stumbled uncertainly, not trusting her footing.

A low chuckle sounded above her head and she felt herself pulled closely against a hard, warm body. “Still can't see in the dark, can you? Don't worry, I won't let you run into anything. Just hold on to me.”

She didn't have to hold on to him. He was doing enough holding for the both of them. To make conversation she said, “Will the mare foal soon?”

“Probably tonight, after everything quiets down. Mares are usually shy. They wait until they think no one's around, so Travis will have to be really quiet and not let her hear him.” Amusement in his voice, he said, “Like all females, they're contrary.”

Resentment on behalf of her sex flared briefly, but she controlled it. She realized that he was teasing her, hoping to make her react hotly, thereby giving him a perfect reason for kissing her again—if he even needed a reason. When had he ever let a little thing like having a reason stop him from doing anything he wanted? Instead she said mildly, “You'd probably be contrary, too, if you were faced with labor and birth.”

“Honey, I'd be more than contrary. I'd be downright surprised!”

They laughed together as they left the barn and began the walk back to the house. She could see now by the faint light of the rising moon, but he kept his arm around her waist and she didn't protest. A silent moment went by before he murmured, “Are you very sore?”

“Sore enough. Got any liniment I can use?”

“I'll bring a bottle to your room,” he promised. “How long did you tough it out with Monica and Ricky?”

“Not long,” she admitted. “I didn't finish eating, either.”

Silence fell again and wasn't broken until they had neared the house. His hold on her tightened until his fingers bit into the soft skin at her waist.

“Cat.”

She stopped and looked up at him. His face was completely shadowed by his hat, but she could feel the intensity of his gaze. “Monica isn't my mistress,” he said on a softly exhaled breath. “She never has been, though not for lack of opportunity. Your father was too good a friend for me to jump into bed with his widow.”

Apparently the same restriction didn't apply to Ward's daughter, she thought, stunned into momentary speechlessness by his bold statement. For a moment she simply stared at him in the dim, silvery light as she stood there with her face tilted up to his. Finally she whispered, “Why bother to explain to me?”

“Because you believed it, damn you!”

Stunned again, she wondered if she had automatically accepted, without really thinking about it, that Rule had been Monica's lover. Certainly that was what Ricky had been getting at earlier, but something in Cathryn violently rejected the very thought. On the other hand, she instinctively shied away from handing him a vote of confidence. Torn between the two, she merely said, “Everything pointed to it. I can see why Ricky is so convinced. Whatever you wanted, you only had to mention it to Monica and she made sure you got the money to do it.”

“The only money I ever got from Monica was for the ranch!” he snapped. “Ward trusted me to run this ranch for him, and his death didn't change that.”

“I know that. You've worked for this ranch as hard—harder—than any man would for his own spread.” Obeying another instinct, she put her hand on his chest, spreading her fingers and feeling the warm, hard flesh beneath the material of his shirt. “I resented you, Rule. I admit it. When Dad first died it seemed like you were bulling in and taking over everything that had been his. You took the ranch, you moved into his house, you organized everything about our lives. Was it so impossible to think that you might have taken over his wife, too?” God, why had she said that? She didn't even believe it, yet she felt driven to somehow lash out at him.

He went rigid and his breath hissed between his teeth. “I'd like to turn you over my knee for that!”

“As you've said several times, I'm all grown up now, so I wouldn't advise it. I won't take being treated like a child,” she warned, her spine stiffening as she remembered that long-ago incident.

“So you want me to treat you like a woman, then?” he ground out.

“No. I want you to treat me like what I am...” She paused, then spat out, “Your employer!”

“You've been that for years,” he pointed out harshly. “But that didn't stop me from spanking you, and it didn't stop me from making love to you.”

Realizing the futility of standing there arguing with him, Cathryn jerked away and started for the house. She had taken only a few steps when long fingers closed over her arm and pulled her to a halt. “Are you always going to run when I mention making love?” His words were like blows to her nervous system, and she quivered in his grip, fighting the storm of mingled dread and anticipation that confused her.

“You didn't run that day by the river,” he reminded her cruelly. “You were ready and you liked it, despite it being your first time. You remind me of a mare that's nervous and not quite broken, kicking your heels at a stallion, but all you need is a little calming down.”

“Don't you compare me to a mare!” The furious words burst out of her throat and she was no longer confused; she was clearheaded and angry.

“That's what you've always brought to mind—a long-legged little filly with big dark eyes, too skittish to stand under a friendly hand. I don't think you've changed all that much. You're still long legged, you've still got big dark eyes, and you're still skittish. I've always liked chestnut horses,” he said, his voice sliding so low that it was almost a growl. “And I've always meant to have me a redheaded woman.”

Sheer rage vibrated through her slender body, and for a moment she was incapable of answering. When she was finally able to speak, her voice was hoarse and shaking with the force of her temper. “Well, it won't be me! I suggest you go find yourself a chestnut
mare
.... That's more your type!”

He was laughing at her. She could hear the low rumbling sound in his chest. She raised her clenched fist to hit him, and he moved with lightning reflexes, catching her delicate fist in his big, hard palm and holding it. She tried to jerk away, but he pulled her inexorably closer until she was close enough that their bodies just touched. He bent his head until his breath feathered warmly over her lips, and with the lightest of contacts he let his mouth move against hers as he said, “You're the one, all right. You're my redheaded woman. God knows I've waited long enough for you.”

“No—” she began, only to have her automatic protest cut short as he moved forward the tiny bit that was needed to firm the contact between their mouths. She shivered and stood still under his kiss. Since that morning when he had kissed her at the airport it seemed that she had done nothing but let him kiss her whenever he pleased, a situation that she had never even dreamed would develop. With a shock she realized that his behavior all day had been distinctly loverlike, and for the first time she wondered what lay behind his actions.

Her lack of response irritated him and he drew her roughly nearer, his mouth demanding more and more until she gave a muffled groan of pain as her muscles protested against the handling she was receiving. Immediately his arms relaxed and he raised his head. “I forgot,” he admitted huskily. “We'd better go in and get you taken care of before I forget again.”

Cathryn started to protest that she could take care of herself but bit the words back, afraid of prolonging the situation. With counterfeit docility she suffered the possessive arm that lay around her waist as they entered the house. There was no sign of either Monica or Ricky, for which she was profoundly grateful, as Rule went up the stairs with her, his arm still around her. She could imagine the comments either of them would have been likely to make and which she felt oddly incapable of handling just then.

Rule unsettled her; he always had. She had thought herself mature enough now to face him with calm indifference, only to find that where he was concerned she was far from indifferent. She hated him, she fiercely resented him, and underneath all of that lay the burning physical awareness that had haunted her during her marriage to David and made her feel as if she were being unfaithful...to Rule, not her own husband! It was stupid. She had sincerely loved David and suffered after his death, and yet... She had always been aware that, while David could take her to the moon, Rule had made her reach the stars.

To her surprise Rule left her at her bedroom door and continued down the hall to his own room. Not questioning her good luck, Cathryn quickly entered her room and closed the door. She longed for a soak in a tub of hot water to ease her protesting muscles, but the only bathroom with a full tub, instead of a shower stall, was down the hall between Rule's bedroom and Monica's, and she didn't want to risk an encounter with either of them. Sighing in regret, she began unbuttoning her dress. She had slipped three of the buttons loose when a brief hard knock on the door, a knock which preceded Rule by only a split second, had her whirling around in a startled movement that made her wince with pain.

“Sorry about that,” Rule muttered. “Here's the liniment.”

She reached out for the bottle of clear liquid and saw his eyes drop to the unbuttoned neckline of her dress. In instantaneous reaction she felt her breasts tighten and grow heated in that bitter, uncontrolled response she had to him. She drew a ragged, protesting breath, and his eyes lifted slowly to her face. His pupils were dilated, his skin taut as he sensed, like a wild animal, the way it was with her. For a moment she thought that he was going to heed the primal call; then, with a stifled curse, he shoved the bottle into her hand.

“I can wait,” he said, and left as abruptly as he had entered.

Cathryn felt as if her legs were going to collapse beneath her and she moved to the bed, sinking gratefully onto the white chenille bedspread. If that wasn't a close call, she didn't know what was!

After carefully rubbing her legs and buttocks with the pungent liniment, she put on her nightgown and crawled stiffly into bed, but despite her weariness she was unable to sleep. Everything that had been said that day drifted through her tired mind with maddening persistence.

Rule. Everything came back to him. Cathryn thought she knew enough about men in general, and Rule in particular, to recognize passion, and Rule did nothing to hide his arousal when he kissed her. But Rule was a complicated man, and she didn't feel that he was motivated solely by simple lust. He was like an iceberg only allowing a small bit to show. He kept most of himself submerged, hidden from view, and she could only guess at his motives. Was it the ranch? Was Ricky right after all in her assessment? Was he trying to make the ranch legally his by marrying the owner?

She drew her thoughts up sharply. Married! What made her think that Rule would ever consider marriage? She was beginning to understand that he could control her easily enough by other means, and the realization was sharply humiliating. Unless he did want the ranch legally...? He was a man with a dark past; who could guess at the importance of the ranch to him? She could well imagine that to him it represented his salvation, both physically and emotionally.

Whatever happened, she didn't want to let herself become embroiled with him. And whatever his motive, she was certain that she wouldn't be able to shield herself from harm. She was so frighteningly vulnerable to him....

CHAPTER 3

Cathryn had intended to get up early, but her intentions weren't strong enough to do the job and it was after ten when she rolled over groggily and pushed her hair out of her face to peer at the clock. She yawned and stretched, cutting the motion short with a wince of pain. Easing gingerly out of the bed, she decided that she wasn't as sore as she had feared she would be, but she was still sore enough. As Rule would have been out of the house for hours by now, she felt safely able to have that hot bath, and she gathered up her clothes, then beat a path to the bathroom.

An hour later she felt considerably better, though still stiff. She rubbed the liniment into her muscles again, then decided to ignore the pain. Despite the night's uncomfortable beginning, the long sleep had completely refreshed her and her dark eyes were sparkling, her cheeks delicately pink. Her hair was pulled back on each side with a matching pair of tortoiseshell combs, giving her the look of a teenager. For a moment as she looked in the mirror she had a disturbing sense of looking into the past, as if the reflection she saw was that of the young girl she had been on a hot summer day, gleefully planning on a ride to the river. Had she smiled that way? she wondered as her lips curved in a faint smile of secret anticipation. Anticipation of what?

She studied the face in the mirror, searching for an answer. The delicate features revealed nothing; she saw only the elusive smile, a certain mystery in the dark eyes. Her coloring was unusual, inherited directly from her father; dark fire in her hair, a shade neither red nor brown but with the sheen of mahogany; dark eyes, not as dark as Rule's, but a soft deep brown. Her skin, thankfully, had no freckles. She could tan lightly, but had never been able to acquire a deep tan. What else was there? What else would attract a man's attention? Her nose was straight and dainty, but not classical. Her mouth looked vulnerable, sensitive; her facial bones were delicate, finely drawn. Fairly tall, slender and long-legged, with narrow hips, a slim waist and rather nice, round breasts. She didn't have voluptuous curves, but she did have the long, clean lines of good breeding and a certain grace of movement. Rule had compared her to a long-legged filly. And Rule had always wanted a red-haired woman.

No great beauty, the young woman in the mirror, but passable.

Passable enough to hold Rule Jackson's interest?

Stop it! she told herself fiercely, turning away from the mirror. She didn't want to hold his interest! She couldn't handle him and she knew it. If she had any sense at all she'd take herself back to Chicago, continue her rather boring job and forget the nagging, incessant ache for the home where she had grown up. But this was her home, and perhaps she didn't have any sense. She knew every plank in this old house, had never forgotten anything about it, and she wanted to stay there.

She went downstairs to the kitchen. Lorna turned from the stove as she entered and gave her a friendly smile. “Have a good sleep?”

“Marvelous,” Cathryn sighed. “I haven't slept this late in years.”

“Rule said you were worn out,” said Lorna comfortably. “You've lost some weight, too, since your last visit. Are you ready for breakfast?”

“It's almost lunchtime, so I think I'll wait. Where is everyone?”

“Monica is still asleep; Ricky went out with the men today.”

Cathryn lifted her eyebrows questioningly, and Lorna shrugged. She was a big-boned woman in her late forties or early fifties, her brown hair showing no trace of gray, and her pleasantly unremarkable features revealed only contentment with her life. Acceptance was in her eyes as she said slowly, “Ricky's having a rough time right now.”

“In what way?” Cathryn asked. It was true that Ricky seemed even more highly strung than before, as if she were only barely under control.

Again Lorna shrugged. “I expect she woke up one day and realized that she doesn't have what she wanted, and she panicked. What has she done with her life? Wasted it. She has no husband, no children, nothing of any importance that she can say belongs to her. The only thing she's ever really had is her looks, and they haven't gotten her the man she wanted.”

“She's been married twice,” said Cathryn.

“But not to Rule.”

Shocked, Cathryn sat silently, trying to follow Lorna's reasoning. Rule? And Ricky? Ricky had always alternated wildly between rebelling against Rule and following him with slavish devotion, while Rule had always treated her with stoic tolerance. Was that the basis for Ricky's sudden outbreak of hostility? Was that why she didn't want Cathryn to stay? Once again Cathryn had the uneasy thought that somehow Ricky knew that Rule had made love to her when she was seventeen. It was impossible, but yet...

It was all impossible. Ricky couldn't be in love with Rule. Cathryn had known what it was to love, and she could see none of the signs in Ricky, no gentling, no caring. Her reactions to Rule were a mixture of fear and hostility that bordered on actual hate; that, too, Cathryn understood all too well. How many years had she stayed away because of those same feelings?

Agitated, she felt a sudden, powerful need to be alone for a while, so she said, “Does Wallace's Drugstore still stay open on Sundays?”

Lorna nodded. “Are you thinking of driving into town?”

“If no one else needs the car, I will.”

“Nobody that I know of, and even if they did there's other means of going,” Lorna said practically. “Would you mind picking up a few things?”

“I'll be glad to,” Cathryn replied. “But to be on the safe side, write everything down. No matter how careful I try to be, I always forget one item unless I have a list, and it's usually the most-needed thing that I forget.”

With a chuckle Lorna pulled open a drawer and extracted a notepad from which she tore the top sheet. She handed it to Cathryn. “It's already done. I'm guilty of the same thing, so I always write things down as I think of them. Let me get some money from Rule's desk.”

“No, I have enough,” Cathryn protested, looking at the list of items. It was mostly first-aid things such as alcohol and bandages, nothing very expensive. Besides, anything bought for the ranch was her responsibility.

“All right, but keep the sales receipt. Taxes.”

Cathryn nodded. “Do you know where the keys to the station wagon are?”

“Usually in the ignition, unless Rule took them out this morning to keep Ricky from disappearing as she sometimes does. If he did, then they'll be in his pocket, but since Ricky went with them he wouldn't have had any reason for taking the keys.”

Cathryn made a face at that information and went upstairs to get her purse. Was Ricky so bad that it was necessary to hide the car keys from her? And what if someone else needed the car? But then, Lorna and Monica would make arrangements beforehand if they needed the car, and in any medical emergency Rule could be located quickly enough. The plane would be faster than a car anyway.

She was in luck. The keys were still dangling from the ignition. She opened the door and slid behind the wheel, looking forward to her little trip.

The station wagon wasn't a new model and it had a rather battered appearance, but the engine caught immediately and hummed with steady precision. Like everything else on the ranch, it was kept in good mechanical condition, another indication of Rule's excellent management. There was no way she could fault him on that score.

She felt pride in the way the ranch looked as she drove down the dusty road that led to the highway. It wasn't a huge ranch or a rich one, though it had done well enough. She knew that Rule had brought new life into it with his horses, though it had been a comfortable place before that. But now the land had the well-tended look that only devotion and hard work could bring.

The town was small, but Cathryn supposed it had everything required by civilization. It was as familiar to her as her own face, never changing much despite the passage of time. San Antonio was the nearest large city, almost eighty miles distant, but to someone used to Texas distances, that didn't seem like a long trip. No one felt denied by the undemanding tenor of life in Uvalde County.

Probably the last scandal in memory was the last one Rule had figured in, Cathryn thought absently as she parked the station wagon against the curb, joining the lineup of dusty pickups and assorted cars. She could hear the jukebox inside, and a smile lit her face as memories washed over her. How many Sunday afternoons had she spent here as a teenager? The pharmacy was located in the back of the building. The front was occupied by a booming hamburger business. Red-topped stools lined the counter and several booths marched down the opposite wall, while a few small tables were scattered about the remaining space. The stools and booths were crowded, while the tables remained empty, always the last to be filled. A quick glance around told her that the majority of the customers were teenagers, just as it had always been, though there were enough adults on hand to keep youthful enthusiasms under control.

She went back to the pharmacy and began gathering the items on Lorna's list, wanting to do that first; then she intended to reward herself with a huge milk shake. The pile in her arms kept growing and became unmanageable; she looked around for a shopping basket and her gaze was met by a young woman her own age who was studying her curiously.

“Cathryn? Cathryn Donahue?” the woman asked hesitantly.

As soon as she spoke Cathryn placed her voice. “Wanda Gifford!”

“Wanda Wallace now. I married Rick Wallace.”

Cathryn remembered him. He was the son of the owner of the drugstore and a year or so older than she and Wanda. “And I'm Cathryn Ashe.”

“Yes. I heard about your husband's death. I'm sorry, Cathryn.”

Cathryn murmured an acknowledgement of the polite phrase as Wanda moved to take some of the precariously balanced things out of her arms, then swiftly changed the subject, still feeling unable to discuss David's death calmly. “Do you have any children?”

“Two, and that's enough. Both boys, and both monsters.” Wanda smiled wryly. “Rick asked me if I wanted to try for a girl next time, and I told him that if there was a next time we'd have a parting of the ways. Good Lord, what if I had another boy?” But in spite of her words she was laughing, and Cathryn had a moment of gentle envy. She and David had discussed having children, but put it off in favor of a few years alone; then they had learned of David's illness and he had refused to burden her with a child to raise alone. She didn't understand how he could have imagined that his child would ever be a burden to her, but she had always thought that making a baby should be a mutual decision, so she hadn't pressured him. He had been under enough pressure, knowing that his life was slipping away.

Wanda led the way to the nearest table and dumped everything onto the shiny surface. “Have a seat and let me buy you a soft drink to welcome you home. Rule told us that you're home to stay this time.”

Slowly Cathryn sank into an empty chair. “When did he say that?” she asked, wondering if she looked as cornered as she felt.

“Two weeks ago. He said you'd be home for Memorial Day weekend.” Wanda went behind the counter to get two glasses brimming with ice and fill them with fountain cola from the machine installed there.

So Rule had let it be known two weeks ago that she was coming home to stay? Cathryn mused. That was when she had called to let Monica know that she was coming home for a visit. Just like that, Rule had decided that she'd stay this time and had spread the news. Wouldn't he be surprised when she got on that plane tomorrow?

“Here you go,” said Wanda, sliding the frosted glass in front of her.

Cathryn leaned over to take an appreciative sip of the strong, icy drink, sharp as only fountain cola could be. “Rule's changed a lot over the years,” she murmured, not certain just why she said it, but wanting for some reason to hear someone else's opinion of him. Perhaps he wasn't out of the ordinary; perhaps it was her own perception of him that was at fault.

“In some ways he has, in some he hasn't,” said Wanda. “He's not wild anymore, but you get the feeling he's just as dangerous as he always was. He's more controlled now. But the way most folks think about him has changed. Rule knows ranching and he's a fair boss. He's president of the Local C.A., you know. Of course, to some people he'll always be as wild as a mink.”

Cathryn managed to hide her surprise at that information. In some parts of the West, the Cattlemen's Association was the inner circle of the elite; in other parts, such as here, it was a working group of not-so-big ranchers who tried to help each other. Still, she was stunned that Rule had been elected president, because he wasn't even a ranch owner. That, more than anything, was a measure of his move from scandalousness to respectability.

She gossiped with Wanda for the better part of an hour and noticed that Ricky's name wasn't mentioned at all, an indication of how completely Ricky had alienated the local people. Had Wanda been on friendly terms with the other young woman, she would have asked after her, even if it had been only a day or two since she had seen her.

Cathryn finally noticed the time and began gathering up the items she had scattered over the table. Wanda helped her manage them and walked with her back to the cash register, where her father-in-law checked Cathryn out. “We still have a dance every Saturday night,” Wanda said, her friendly eyes smiling. “Why don't you come next time? Rule will bring you if you don't feel like coming on your own, but there's plenty of men who'd like to see you walk in without an escort, especially without Rule.”

Cathryn laughed, remembering the Saturday night dances that were such an integral part of the county social life. Most of the marriages and at least a few of the pregnancies of the last fifteen years had gotten their start at the Saturday night dances. “Thanks for reminding me. I'll think about it, though I don't think Rule would thank you for volunteering him for escort duty.”