Against the Odds: A Love Story (19 page)

“Hayden,” I said, pressing a hand to his face. “Look at me.” When he finally did I said, “You didn't do anything wrong. It was just a reflexive action that made you shove her. I know the situation is different, but I had the same reaction with Chris when he kissed me.” I caressed his face. “I know you well enough to know you would never purposely hurt anyone, especially not a woman. In fact, you champion women more than any man I've ever seen. She was trying to provoke you and you handled it the best you could. You didn't do anything wrong.”

“Baby, please tell me you don't think any less of me for . . .”

I quickly took his mouth with mine, silencing his words, trying to take his pain into myself and his response was immediate. He pressed me close and hungrily accepted my comfort.

“I love you more than anything else in this world,” I finally whispered against his lips “Don't ever doubt that.”

He sighed. “I'm just sorry to bring this on you now when stress is the last thing you need. I'm supposed to be taking care of you, not making things worse.”

“Shhh,” I whispered. “You are taking care of me. No one has ever loved and cared for me the way you do. You're the best man I've ever known.”

He held onto me tightly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Hayden finally loosened his embrace enough to wipe his eyes and turn off the lamp. Then he wrapped me securely in his arms again.

I lay awake for a long while and mentally went over all he had shared with me. If surreal could be used to describe what had happened, that's the word I would pick. It was all unreal in a way, like it happened to two other people.

Once Hayden's breathing had become deep and I was sure he was asleep, I let the tears of gratitude come. And in that moment, I was truly able to let go of the painful memories of the past, because I knew without a doubt that Hayden would always be there for me. He would never let anything come between us. Not Debra. Not Jerome, nor anything the world threw at us. He was stronger than the world, and he would always guard my heart.

Anticipation makes one day seem like forever. But   passing time always brings the unexpected.

Twenty-seven

F
or the remainder of my pregnancy, my days consisted of television, rented movies, crossword puzzles, books, magazines, and knitting baby booties and sweaters. Caroline taught me how to make them. I caught on easier than I thought I would and got pretty fast at it. Since we now knew we were having a boy, everything I knitted was blue. I never knew there were so many shades of blue. Caroline managed to find them all.

During the first few weeks, Caroline came to check on me twice a day, bringing me meals from her home. She always visited for a few minutes. While she was there, she checked the house and made sure things were done.

While Hayden appreciated his sister-in-law for helping, I knew he felt a little frustrated that he couldn't be home with me more. And after what happened with Debra, I think his need to be with me was even greater. He was still having a hard time with it all.

Hayden told David how he felt. After discussing the options, they decided to hire another worker to take a lot of the work Hayden normally did, including any hay deliveries that had to be made, and Hayden was able to be home with me for most of the day. I couldn't believe he did that for me. I was so tempted to feel like a burden again, but Hayden knew me, and he would have none of that. He assured me that his place was by my side. He wanted to be there for me. He was truly the most amazing man I had ever known.

By the time I finally hit the eight month mark, I felt as big as a house. I was completely miserable, and despite applying a little makeup in the mornings after I showered, I had never felt so unattractive in my life. I was sure that if I had been able to be up and active, it would have made a huge difference in how I felt.

I think one of the worst things for me for the past month was the restriction of physical intimacy. I missed that part of our marriage more than I could say. Hayden assured me he was fine and it didn't matter, but  sometimes I couldn't help wondering if he just said that for me. Each time I started to feel that way, I immediately kicked myself for it. Hayden had never been anything but honest with me, and I knew deep down nothing would ever change his love for me.

All in all, it seemed that each new day was an emotional roller coaster ride. But I also kept reminding myself every day that it wouldn't be much longer, and I would soon have our precious little boy in my arms. I knew when that day finally came, all of the discomfort and emotional trials would be worth it.

Life is filled with both joy and sorrow, and we are meant to experience both. This is something I've always known. But Hayden would tell me sometime in the future that this particular day, and the week that followed, was the happiest and the most painful time he had ever experienced.

“Come on, baby,” Hayden said, sauntering into the bedroom that evening. “I've got a surprise for you.”

“Really?” I needed something to perk me up. I'd had a particularly down day. I had also been feeling slight contractions throughout the day, which Dr. Salem said was normal. He did tell Hayden to call or bring me in if they got any worse. Since I was only two weeks away from my due date, the doctor didn't see any complications with the baby if he came early. The prospect of going into labor was exciting, but I still had my moments.

Hayden lifted me effortlessly in his arms. “I'm taking my wife out for a romantic evening.”

“Really?” I repeated again, excited about what he had planned. He nodded and smiled. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.

He carried me down to the family room in the basement. I gasped in surprise as we entered the candle-lit room. My tear filled eyes were drawn to the floor where there was a large, thick feather bed in front of the sofa, facing the warm fireplace. It was covered with a white down comforter, and the two king-sized pillows were housed in white satin pillowcases.

To the left of the sofa sat a tray of Mexican takeout that he'd dished onto our good china. And there was a ballad playing softly on the CD player in the corner.

I finally looked into his eyes. “Boy, you sure have been busy,” I said, my voice cracking with emotion.

“Yes, ma'am.”

Mentally blaming it on hormones, I became so emotional, I couldn't speak. The little buggers were now working overtime. I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead to his as tears flowed down my face. He lovingly cradled me against his warm chest. I couldn't believe how wonderful he had been through my entire pregnancy. He had always made me feel so loved, and now this.

I buried my face against his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you, baby,” he murmured into my hair. “I just wanted you to have a special night.”

I drew back and caressed his beard. “Every night I'm with you is special, Hayden. Every moment. But thank you for being so thoughtful.”

“You're welcome, darlin'.” He stared into my eyes a moment before kissing me warmly. He gently placed me on the feather bed and propped the pillows up against the sofa so I could lean back comfortably. He then grabbed the tray of food and placed it between us.

As we ate, we laughed and talked about what life would be like when our son was finally here. And by the time we'd almost finished eating, we had finally decided on a name for him. Dane Hayden McKade. Hayden chose Dane because it was his father's middle name, and of course, I chose Hayden because I wanted to name our son after his father.

“I can't eat another bite,” I finally said, placing my plate on the tray. Hayden added his plate and moved the tray to the side of the feather bed. I scooted farther down, fluffed the pillow under my head, and turned on my side to face him. He lay down and pulled me into his arms.

“Thank you,” I said, looking into his eyes and resting a hand against his warm chest. “That was wonderful.”

“You're welcome.” He pressed a gentle hand to my face and softly caressed my lips. “You know I would do anything for you.”

I smiled, my lips trembling slightly from his touch. “I know.”

We lay quietly gazing at one another and I literally felt his love radiating through my very soul. I was sure there wasn't a more blessed woman in the world. His thumb lingered on my lips a moment before he lowered his head and teased the corner of my mouth with his. I let out a breathy sigh just before his moist mouth completely descended on mine. I tangled my fingers in his hair and pressed him even tighter to me as his heated kisses melted through the very core of me. Each touch of his mouth on mine stoked the fires of longing inside me, igniting a roaring heat that seared me all over. His passionate affections went on and on. His breathing was heavy with desire.

After a while, my need for him was so great, I couldn't stop the painful whimper that escaped. When he pulled back slightly, I said, “I'm sorry, Hayden. It's just I . . .”

He put a finger to my lips. “It's all right, baby,” he said as tears filled his eyes. “We'll have our day again. But for right now, I'll be content to just hold you and kiss you.”

I sighed. “Me, too.” I smiled and pulled his head down, and his kiss was mine again. I never tired of his kisses, and they never grew old, because each time he kissed me, the love and passion I felt for him was renewed. That fact always amazed me.

I was completely immersed in the fire between us when a sudden sharp pain caused me to pull back with a gasp. I closed my eyes and moaned.

“Raine? Raine, honey, what is it?” Hayden sat up slightly and leaned over me, pressing his hand to my face.

It took me a moment to answer, the pain was so intense. “They're getting worse,” I finally said.

He completely sat up. “I'm gonna call the doctor.” He started to stand but hesitated and squeezed my hand. “Just lie here and I'll be right back, all right?”

I nodded, not able to speak as another pain suddenly came right behind the other. I gripped his hand tightly and tried to breathe.

“Forget calling. I'm taking you to the hospital.”

He quickly ran upstairs and got my slippers. He also grabbed a shirt and jacket for himself, and the
Escalade
keys. When he came back down, he took the quilt from the arm of the sofa and wrapped it snugly around me. “Everything is gonna be all right, baby,” he said as he lifted me in his arms. I fisted his shirt in my hand and moaned as another pain came. He quickly took me out and put me in the SUV. After getting me settled, he ran back into the house and grabbed the small suitcase I had packed a couple of weeks before. By the time we were on our way, I was crying, the pain was so bad. I think Hayden must have exceeded the speed limit a couple of times over, because we arrived at the hospital a lot sooner than I expected.