Against The Darkness (Cimmerian Moon) (13 page)

“Who said we
were holding them back?” Wade asks, he’s whispering just as I am. “Jason?”

I shake my
head. “No, no one
said
that. But this morning, when everyone was still
sleep, Ken seemed to have an attitude.” I shrug. “I just figured he may have
been upset that everyone was still sleep. He and Jason are used to traveling so
fast.”

“He seemed
okay with me when I got up,” Wade says.

“Me too,” MJ
adds.

“I didn’t
notice an attitude,” Ian says. “But maybe he just doesn’t like you Sinta.”
There’s a hint of playfulness in his voice, but I still have a niggling feeling
on the back of my mind.

“I don’t see
why not,” I say defensively. “I haven’t done anything to him.”

“You know, not
everyone
has
to like you,” Ian adds.

I roll my eyes
on a “humph”. I don’t think everyone has to like me. I was just acting on an
observation. I want us to move as fast as Ken and Jason are used to moving and
I want to not be a burden to them. I’d do anything to make it home in twelve
days, like Jason predicted.

“Don’t let him
get you worked up,” Wade says. “He’s just messing with you. I’m sure there’s
nothing wrong with Ken.”

“Yeah,” I say.
“You’re probably right.”

“Time to roll
out,” Jason says just loud enough for us to hear.

Jason is
waiting for us with everyone else. Ken has got his map out, studying it, and
Mia, Shayla and Ms. Burgess are gathered around him.

“Let’s roll
out,” MJ says, as he gets to his feet.

“Roll out,” I
mimic, following the guys.

We start off
slower than we would have normally traveled. Although Ms. Burgess can walk, MJ
and Ian are at her side, holding her up and helping her. She seems more fragile
than I’ve ever seen her. She’s got black-and-blue bruises on her face, a
swollen eye and lip. Her sleeve is ripped from the armhole, revealing more
bruises and, from what I can tell, bite marks dotting her arm.

We pass the
first few hours in silence. Every now and then Mia gives me a sideways glance,
hurt and guilt shining in her eyes. I know she’s just as upset about seeing Ms.
Burgess in her current state as I am. But what else could we have done?

The Tanners
pretty much told us that they planned to make her their wife but, at the time,
I didn’t think forcing her was on their agenda. If we had any inkling of what
they were going to try to do, we would have fought, shotguns be damned. If Ken
and Jason hadn’t come along when they had, it would have turned out worse. I
know this. I can feel it in my bones. They could have killed Ms. Burgess. They
could have killed us all and gone to hunt for more wives and workers for their
land with no one wondering or even caring what the Tanners were doing.

I watch her as
she tries to walk, stumbling over her own feet, almost falling and having to
rely on her students to help her. Not once does she turn around to glance at
the rest of us, to give us the reassuring smiles I’m so used to seeing. By the
time we hit hour six, I stare at the back of her head, willing her to turn. I don’t
know why I need for her to look at me, but I do. I need someone to tell me that
she will be okay—that we will all be okay.

“I can’t
believe they tried to rape her,” Shayla whispers over my shoulder. She’s
walking behind Mia and I.

“Shh. I don’t
want her to hear us,” Mia warns in a low tone.

I nod my head
in agreement, although I don’t think she could hear us. Ian, MJ and Ms. Burgess
aren’t within reach. They’re about seven feet in front of us.

“I’m just
saying,” Shayla says, continuing in a whisper. “Mrs. Burgess is so sweet, she’d
never hurt a fly.”

“She’s one of
the nicest teachers I know,” I add. “But people like the Tanners aren’t
thinking about decency.”

If they were
they wouldn’t have been out hunting people. They would have offered us some
weapons, food or water.

“Maybe we
shouldn’t be talking about this,” Mia says. “I’m sure Ms. Burgess wouldn’t
appreciate us being back here talking about her and feeling sorry for her.”

“You don’t
want to talk about it? So we should just pretend like that didn’t happen?”
Shayla asks. “Like we don’t talk about losing our entire group and pretend like
that
shit didn’t happen too?” Shayla lets out a string of curses under
her breath.

“I don’t think
anyone is avoiding talking about what happened to our friends or to Ms.
Burgess, Shay. I just…” As Mia’s voice trails off, I slip my hand in hers. “I
just don’t know what to say about it. I mean…” Mia stops talking to sniffle. “I
left someone behind. I was holding Callie in my arms and I let her drop to the
floor and I left her there.”

“It’s okay,” I
say with a squeeze on her hand. “Ian said she was dying. There was nothing you
could have done. If you would’ve stayed you would’ve died too.” I shake my
head. “I don’t know what I would have done if I lost you. To not have my mom,
or you either… I don’t know.”

“She wasn’t
dying.”

I inhale
sharply, not wanting to believe what she just said. “Mia…was she…alive?”

She gives her
head a shake. “No, she was already dead. I felt her exhale her last breath. I
saw death in her eyes.”

“Oh, I’m so
sorry,” I say, letting go of her hand so that I can wrap my arm around her
waist. “Then you didn’t leave her behind. You saved yourself.”

“MJ and Eric
were running past me,” Shayla begins. “I started following them. I thought if
anyone could escape it would be them. I tripped over someone and fell to the
ground. When I called out to them, MJ came back for me and Eric was screaming
at him. I heard him so clearly, over all the cries and shouting, telling MJ to
leave me. I wanted someone to shut Eric up. I didn’t want MJ to hear him and
leave me.”

I glance back
at Shayla and she has tears flowing freely from her reddened eyes and down her
cheeks.

“Shay, you don’t
have to talk about it.”

She tries
wiping her tears away with the back of her hand, but they just keep flowing. “I
have to. I don’t want to keep it in any longer,” she says, with her lips
quivering.

I hold up my
arm to let Shayla come between us. When she does, we both wrap an arm around
her.

“When MJ
helped me up, the first thing I said to him was, ‘I hate your friend’. I couldn’t
stand Eric before and to see him telling MJ to leave me, to let the aliens have
me, I…I wanted him to die. And then—” a quiet sob catches in her throat.
“A blast. It hit him in his chest. There was this black hole in the middle of
his chest. And he just stood there, looking at us with this expression on his
face, like he knew I had wished that for him. I killed him,” she says,
whispering the last sentence. “He died because of me.”

“No, you didn’t,”
I say with my voice cracking. “The aliens did.”

“I know MJ
thinks it was because of me.”

“What?” Mia
says. “MJ doesn’t think that. He adores you. He’s taking care of you.”

“I think he’s
feeling some kind of guilt of his own. I think he was wondering if he had left
me, if Eric would still be alive. That was his best friend.”

“That’s not
true. But maybe this is a conversation that you and MJ should have.”

Shayla lets
out a humorless chuckle. “Yeah, right. MJ hasn’t mentioned what happened once.
I tried and he totally shut down.”

“Give him
time.”

“I am. I just
couldn’t hold it in any longer.” She puts her head on Mia’s shoulder. “I’m
sorry to unload on you guys.”

“That’s what
friends are for.”

She lifts her
head up to look at both of us, with a smile. “I like the sound of that. It’s
the end of the world and I could use some friends right about now.”

“There should
be a small lake coming up in about a mile or so,” Ken says, loud enough for us
all to hear. “We’ll rest there. We have soap for bathing. Sorry, but we don’t
have extra clothes for you.”

“Thank you,
God,” Ms. Burgess says. “I need to wash their filthy handprints off of me.” I
perk up, since this is the first thing I’ve heard her say since leaving the
Tanners. Maybe she’ll tell us she’s okay now?

Ms. Burgess’
vocalization is short lived.

As soon as we
make camp, she curls into a ball and goes to sleep. We thought she wanted to
bathe. She did, but just not with us. After we finish, feeling much better than
before, she wakes up and slowly makes her way to the lake. We try to go with
her but Ken holds us back, telling us that she wants to be alone for a while
longer.

I don’t understand
how he can know that. She hasn’t been in the talking mood, and she doesn’t know
him like she knows us. Mia and I don’t argue with him, but Shayla is adamant
about helping her. It’s only after Ken explains this will be the first time she’s
seen herself naked since the attack do we finally understand. There may be
bruises and sores she has to inspect, so we give her privacy.

Ken organizes
our sleeping arrangements and with the number of bodies he puts between Jason
and I, even if I wanted to continue our conversation from earlier, we couldn’t
have. By the time my head hits the ground I’m out like a light, so it doesn’t matter
anyway.

* * * * *

Maryville, Tennessee

April 21
^st
, 2012: Day 30

I wake up to a light drizzle
sprinkling my face. It’s not as cold as it was yesterday, but the rain still
makes me feel downright miserable. I hate being outside and, worse, I hate
being exposed to the elements.

I roll onto my back and slap my arm
on the hard ground. I glance up to see the dark clouds hovering over me. They
don’t look like they’ll pass by us anytime soon, so it’s safe to guess that it’ll
be raining all day.

Ugh.

“This sucks.” I say to no one but
myself.

A shadow settles over me first,
followed by Jason in the flesh. “Getting up, sleepy head?” He’s watching me
with a half-smile and only showing one dimple. I find one dimple has the same
effect as two would. He has on another t-shirt, this one tan, and matching
khakis that hang loosely off his legs. But from this angle I can see how
defined his thigh muscles are.

He reaches his hand out, offering me
help up. When I plant my hand in his, he uses a strong, firm grip and pulls me
to my feet.

“How did you sleep?”

I give him a wry look. I have so many
knots and kinks in my muscles that I’m afraid I’ll never return to normal.
“Just about as good as you did.”

He stretches while making a “argh”
sound, putting his hands high in the air and bending back. His shirt rises to just
above his belly-button.

Inny.

And muscles.

Perfect stomach muscles.

With sprinkles of light colored hair
just above his button…

He straightens and I flick my gaze to
the side, avoiding focusing on him. I know I’m blushing again because the weather
hadn’t gone from chilly to scorching in five seconds. Serves me right. I should
have turned away as soon as his shirt lifted. But it’s not like I’ve never seen
shirtless guys before. I’m in high school. Boys find any reason to peel off
their shirts, whether it’s playing tag football, soccer, or just because they
want attention.

But I’ve never seen a stomach like
that before. Never.

“It’s not bad if you don’t count the
rocks in your back, bugs trying to crawl into your ears or having nightmare
about being caught by aliens.”

“Same here,” I say, keeping my eyes
just off to the side of him.

“You ready, Sin?” Wade says, coming
up behind me.

“Yeah, Jason and I were just talking
about how good we slept.”

“Huh,” Wade says, planting himself a
little too closely at my side. “I had a horrible night.”

I snort and jab him playfully with my
elbow. “Joking.”

Jason lets out a chuckle and Wade
stiffens. I catch him watching Jason. “You okay?”

He turns his gaze from Jason to me.
“I’m fine. C’mon it’s time to go.” He thrusts his hand out to give me a piece
of jerky. “This is for you. We’ll have to eat while we walk.”

Taking it, I roll my eyes. “What else
is new?”

“Let me know when you run out,” Jason
says. “I have more.”

He begins to walk away to get his
backpack. “I have plenty for her,” Wade hollers at him.

“Keep your voice down,” I say to
Wade. “I don’t want the jerky if it’ll end up leading the aliens to us.”

“Right. Let’s get going.”

Ken and Wade lead the way with Jason,
Ian and MJ bringing up the rear. I don’t argue about the show of machismo, they
all have guns while Shayla and I are the only ones with knives.

My knife isn’t hanging from the
string of my sweats anymore since, thanks to Jason, I have a handy-dandy
carrying case for it. It didn’t take much to cut the bottom of my t-shirt off
and use the material to strap the case under my sweats and around my thigh. My
shirt is so long that no one will notice the missing material and my sweats are
so baggy that there’s not even a bulge where the knife is hidden. I almost giggle
out loud at the thought of another ambush. The very next time someone sneaks up
on me I’ll have a surprise of my own.

Score one for me.

There’s
something comforting in the feel of the case pressed against my thigh. Not the
same way I felt when Jason put his arm around me, but a different kind of
comfort. I feel as though I can take care of myself, I’m not a weakling.

This morning, Ms.
Burgess is walking on her own. I have hope that she’s going to be okay. She
still hasn’t talked much, except to mutter curses under her breath while she
sharpened a walking stick into a fine point this morning. Ken is still protecting
her, keeping her under his watch and everyone else away.

But somehow Shayla
had muscled her way to Ms. Burgess’ side. She ignored Ken when he tried to tell
her to go with Mia and me. Instead of listening to him, she puts an arm around
Ms. Burgess’ waist and helps her down the path. They lumber in front of Mia and
I, sometimes tripping over stones or tree roots and other times tripping over
each other’s feet.

After nearly
falling again, Ms. Burgess gives Shayla a light push away. “Good Lord. You’ll
make us both fall.”

“I’m trying to
help you walk, Ms. B.”

Ms. Burgess’
hand goes up, shooing Shayla’s outstretched hands away. “Thank you, but I can walk
on my own.”