Against Me (Cedar Tree Book 3) (15 page)

"I have an admission to make," Naomi slurs next to me, "I'm on a dry spell that's going on–" She starts counting the fingers of both hands before she says, "four years now, and I get turned on in the produce section of the grocery store, imagining random shoppers doing me in the potato bin."

I'm laughing so hard, tears are running down my face and I'm pretty sure I peed my pants a little. Arlene just manages to catch Emma before she rolls off the bed in hysterics and with a loud snort and a shake of his head, Neil finally has enough and pulls the bedroom door shut on our raucous laughter. Of course this is only ‘cause for more hilarity. To think I didn't even have one sip to drink.

Not five minutes later I am grateful for that fact when Neil sticks his head back in the door.

"Need you in here for a minute, Katie. Business call," he says, giving me a pointed look that takes all the giddiness right out of me. I scramble to get off the bed and in my chair, and with the others barely noticing I'm leaving, I head into the other room.

"What's up," I question Neil when I notice his cell phone laying on the table.

"Gus just called. There was trouble in Shiprock."

At my panicked gasp Neil throws up his hands and adds quickly, "Caleb's fine, but his parent's house was burned down. Nothing's been confirmed but arson is suspected and his father was found unconscious just outside the door. He's in the hospital in Farmington."

I know there is more when he keeps looking at me with his solemn eyes.

"His mother?" I have to know.

"Remains were found inside the home and are en route to the coroner's office for positive identification, but the general consensus is that it's her."

My heart breaks for Caleb. I know his relationship with his parents has been non-existent for most of his adult life but there was a time when they were a happy family. I know he loves his family regardless. This must be killing him. I wheel myself into the other room to start packing my bag when Neil stops me.

"What are you doing?"

"Have to get to Farmington," I say without looking up from my task.

"We can't. Katie, think. I get it, I do, but things just got really serious and you and I are all that's between these three women in there and potential trouble."

He's right, I know he's right but I'm so fired up, I need to do something, I need to be with Caleb right now. Fuck, why is this so complicated! Any action impeded by circumstances, I have nothing left but to give in to my emotions. Big tears of sadness and frustration start rolling down my face and Neil looks on in shock, but soon is kneeling next to me, awkwardly wrapping his arms around me in comfort.

"I'll have you know I hate this feeling, shit. I just started and it's not working out so good right now," I mumble in his shirt, making him laugh quietly.

"You were always too much of a hard ass for a girl. Gotta say I like you better like this."

"What? Weepy and weak?"

"No. Beauty, balls and heart. You know; the whole package?"

He gets up to get a box of tissues from the bathroom and I observe him as he hands them over.

"You know you're gonna make some woman extremely lucky one day, don't you?"

"Whatever," he says with a smirk, "come on, wipe the slobber and let's wait for Gus's call. He was going to make some arrangements while I talked to you."

When we drive on to the parking lot of the San Juan Regional Medical Centre, it's near noon on Saturday.

Gus met us in Durango where we had a quick late breakfast before I transferred my stuff to his truck. Gus had his hands full trying to calm down a pissed off Emma and Arlene, who had wanted to come for support. Explaining to them they'd be walking into a potential dispute between a notorious Mexican cartel and a well-known gang, went a long way to calming them down. Finally tucked into Naomi's fancy car with Neil ready to follow them back home, Gus and I finally get on our way.

"So you never got through to him?" I ask again. I asked him last night too and tried calling myself a few times, but Caleb never answered.

"No, Manny Jordan, the lead detective, who was working with Caleb already, mentioned Caleb had very determinedly turned his phone off. I've been in touch with Manny a couple of times though and know Caleb's here waiting for his father to regain consciousness. He's been out this whole time."

"Is he gonna make it?"

"It would appear so, although with some serious third degree burns and they haven't been able to assess the damage from smoke inhalation. He was drunk out of his brain, which is the only reason they figure he hasn't woken up yet."

Gus walks up to a portly middle-aged Latino man who comes toward us in the lobby.

"Detective Jordan?"

"Manny. You must be Gus Flemming." They shake hands and Gus introduces me as his associate, immediately making me feel less awkward about being here.

I'd been having second thoughts about coming, the closer we got to Farmington. Starting to doubt whether he'd even want me here, thinking he would've called or at least answered my calls if he needs me. I hate the uncertainty eating at me.

"He's up on the third floor. Mr. Whitetail has still not woken up and they're keeping him in the ICU, but in a private room because of the police investigation. Let's go up." Manny indicates the elevators on the far side of the lobby.

"Actually," Gus suggests, "why don't we let Katie head up while we go over some things here. Okay with you, Katie?"

I'm eager to see Caleb, but nervous as hell about how he's going to react to having me here. I simply nod and make my way to the elevators.

There is no one stopping me on the third floor so I peek in the doors along the hallway until I see Caleb sitting beside a bed, his head in his hands. He must've heard something because his head shoots up and he looks straight at me.

I stumble over my words, "Hi. Sorry to barge in, but I... I needed to see you."

Without a word, Caleb gets up, walks over and grabs my chair, only to turn me out into the hallway again. That did not go well.

Been sitting in this damn hospital room for hours listening to the beep of the various machines my father is hooked up to, thinking about how detached I'm feeling compared to another time in recent memory when I was sitting by the side of a hospital bed, waiting for a sign of life. I felt like my heart was being ripped out then, but this time, I feel nothing but a deep anger and sadness.

The soft groan from the bed startles me. He blinks a few times before his eyes finally settle on me and without needing to hear the question, he answers it for me with the guilt that clouds his eyes and the hastily whispered, "Sorry."

Nothing left now. I only stayed because I needed to know for sure. Needed to hear from him how he could save himself and leave my mother, his wife, to burn.

I saw her body, or what was left of it. If there was any doubt, the horseshoe shaped picture frame clutched in her charred fingers confirmed it. She never went anywhere without that picture of my sister. Never. I hope it gave her some comfort in the end.

A small sound from the doorway alerts me and I can feel my hard resolve crumbling when I see Katie there.

"Hi," she says in a small voice, "Sorry to barge in but I... I needed to see you."

Unable to speak for the flood of emotions coming at me, I turn her chair around, away from my bastard of a father and roll her into the adjoining small waiting room, which luckily is empty. I don't think, just lift her out of her chair and on to my lap as I sit down on the single couch in the room. Wrapping my arms tightly around her I bury my face in her neck and feel a shudder go through my body. I'm holding my family in my arms.

Tentative hands slide over my shoulders and into my hair, holding my head close and I can't hold back the sob that's been trying to escape me. Fucking hell. How is it possible that a normal, happy family like ours got so destroyed? Wasn't it enough we lost Nascha? Times like these I really have trouble believing there is a God, or any other benign higher power for that matter. 

I don't exactly know how long we are sitting like that. At some point I could hear movement but I never bothered looking up. All I care about now is in my arms.

"Thank you," I manage to croak out my head still in her neck, breathing in her scent.

"I want to be here, no need for thanks," she whispers so softly I can barely feel the air moving.

She sits up and reaches over to grab a box of tissues of the side table. I notice her tearstained face and red eyes, and imagine I probably look about the same. She makes quick work of her own tears and the smudges of make up under her eyes, before she gently wipes my face. I let her. I'm raw, fully exposed and completely at her mercy. When she's done she takes my face in her hands and kisses me softly on the lips, sliding a hand over my head.

"I tried calling, to see if you even wanted me here," I open my mouth to interrupt, but she places two fingers on my lips to shut me down, "And I wasn't sure I was doing the right thing all the way up to the moment you took me on your lap. I'm so glad I followed my gut and came."

I take her hand away from my mouth after kissing her fingers, "I turned my phone off. My instincts were to run home to you as fast as I could get there and I knew that I would, if just heard your voice. I had to see this through―I needed to know why my father breathes when my mother was burning to death just a few feet away. And I needed to hear it from him."

"Shhhh, I get it."

"I
smell like a pot roast."

I almost choke on a sip of coffee when I hear Katie's comparison.

We just got back to the hotel room from my mother's combined Navajo and Christian funeral and Katie had been fascinated with the smudging ceremony. The side effects of the smoky sage are apparently less appealing to her.

Turning toward the choking sounds I was making, her eyes suddenly turn big as saucers.

"Oh no. That slipped out, that was terrible. I'm so sorry. I wasn't trying to be disrespectful."

A deep rumbling chuckle escapes me as I lean in and quickly kiss the worry off her lips.

"It's fine, little one."

Relief slides over her face as she says a bit sheepishly, "Phew, seriously. The more time I spend with you, the less control I seem to have over my filters."

"For your information, I'm considering that a compliment. Don't want any filters, just you is perfect."

A light blush creeps up from the V-neck of her long-sleeved t-shirt and slowly spreads over her cheeks under my scrutiny. I'm looking my fill, having kept myself a little distant the last few days leading up the funeral. With so much to sort through and organize, my father still in the hospital and my brother in the wind, there was only me. Gus stayed on to focus on the investigation while I have been dealing with the arrangements for my mother, and despite Katie's offers for help, I needed to do this myself. Honour my mother in a way I know would've pleased her.

No hiding my hunger for Katie now, and from the look on her face, she knows it.

"I... I’ve been wanting to show you something," she says almost shyly, immediately peaking my interest with visions of sexy underwear and soft naked skin. Instead she rolls her chair back from where I'm sitting on the edge of the bed and locks her wheels. Gripping the edge of her armrests, she pushes herself up to stand in front of me. Automatically my arms shoot out to grab hold of her but I pull back when she shakes her head.

"Yeah, I've been working pretty hard with Kendra while you were gone. It's not much, but progress for me," she says as she's about to sit back down in her chair, looking defeated because I haven't been able to say a damn thing.

Fuck me.

"Katie," I manage to get out before I grab her around the waist and twist her onto the bed, throwing myself over her with my elbows by her shoulders and my hands holding her face in place. I rub my nose along hers and kiss her lightly. "So fucking proud of you. You're incredible, and you can do whatever you put your mind to, my
Yázhí
. So fucking fierce."

"I missed you."

"I know. Me too. I'm sorry for not showing you how much it's meant to have you with me these past few days," I tell her, peppering her face and neck with kisses. "Sorry I haven't paid attention to this amazing body except to take comfort holding it at night. Sorry I..."