Aftershocks (28 page)

He nodded. “Yeah, so my mom quit drinking but she started popping painkilers she’d gotten when she’d hurt her back in the accident.

She got addicted pretty quickly. Then she started chasing them with vodka. After a while, she sort of lost interest in me and Jordan, who was just a kid at the time, so I started picking up the slack. We learned to function without her, making ourselves dinner, bumming rides to and from footbal practice with our friends’ parents. I even sat with Jordan every night and helped him with his homework since my mom was usualy passed out by the time we got home. The only times she didn’t drink were when my dad was in town, but then she was so irritable that they fought the whole time, so he started to spend more and more time traveling. He had no idea what Jordan and I were dealing with when he was away.”

I fought back the urge to cry as I realized Connor had been leading a very adult life for years. When had he ever had a chance to just be a kid?

“Did she eventualy get sober?” I asked, knowing that if he was this rattled that his mother was drinking again, at some point she had stopped.

He nodded. “Yeah, but it wasn’t until after the divorce. My dad finaly realized what was happening, so they caled it quits five years ago. She moved here, and we stayed in Austin. She got sober, convinced my dad that she could handle taking care of us, and we started spending summers with her. But after the third time I caught her in bed, asleep with a half-empty bottle of vodka, I got us on the next plane home. I told my dad we were just homesick, but I think he knew the truth because we never went back to visit her.”

He came to sit next to me on the adjoining bean bag. He seemed to have calmed down a little which was a relief. It seemed talking about this was helping him to process whatever was going on.

“Then my dad was faced with a layoff at work. His office was closing, and he was lucky enough that they offered him a transfer instead of letting him go. He had options of Boston, Chicago and LA. So we ended up here. I think he wanted us to have a chance to reconnect with our mom, but for me at least, our relationship was too far gone. My mom begged to see me when we moved. She promised she was sober, so I let her back in. I told her I wouldn’t spend weekends with her like Jordan, but we could stil see each other. After everything that happened, we don’t always get along very wel, so I figured it’d be better if I kept my distance.”

I nodded, knowing then that he had been arguing with her the night they’d moved in – the first time I’d seen him. Snippets of his conversation came back to me, and I could put the pieces together.

“It’s just my mom’s been having a hard time lately. I can tel she’s been drinking again, and she has a new boyfriend who’s not the best influence. There have been a few weekends when she couldn’t take Jordan because she was on a bender, but each time she promised my dad it was the last time. She tries to stay sober, but it’s hard for her. She’s been an alcoholic for at least ten years and on the pils for just a few years less than that.”

I reached over and took his hand, thinking he probably needed something to hold onto in that moment. “Does Jordan know?”

He nodded. “He does now. He kept texting me tonight to let me know she was acting strange. I figured it wasn’t a big deal because, wel, my mom is strange, but when he caled me in a panic because she started screaming at him and throwing things around the kitchen, I knew she’d lost it. I was already on my way to get him, so I figured I could deal with her when I got there, but by the time I got to the house, she was gone. Her boyfriend had picked her up, and Jordan was there by himself. He had an ice pack on his head from where she’d hit him and he’d slammed his head into the kitchen wal when he’d tried to keep her from leaving.”

I gasped. I couldn’t believe she’d hit Jordan.

He shook his head, looking down at his lap. “I tried so hard to shield him from it al, but he knew. He knew everything. I guess she’s been drinking ever since we moved here, but Jordan was too afraid to tel me. He was trying to protect her, but after tonight, I could tel he was done. He didn’t talk the whole way home and then went right to bed as soon as we got in the house. I just, I tried, but I couldn’t protect him from this.”

He looked up at me again. “Abby, I should have done something. I should have kept him from seeing her. Al of this is my fault. I was supposed to be taking care of him.”

I realized then how much he had truly dealt with in eighteen years, and I was so grateful for my sometimes overly involved parents who occasionaly drove me nuts. At least Aaron and I had had a great childhood surrounded by love. I couldn’t imagine having one parent who was out of it al the time and another parent who preferred working to dealing with his family problems.

“Connor, it’s not your fault,” I said, knowing it wouldn’t do any good. He’d shoulder this burden because it was what he did. Knowing this, I just put my arms around him and puled him to me.

“Thank you,” he said, his words muffled against my chest. “I swear I don’t mean to put any of this on you, Abby, but thank you for being my friend. I don’t have anyone else I can talk to about this stuff.”

I kissed his forehead. “You don’t have to thank me. I told you, I do anything for someone I care about.”

He puled away and looked up at me. “You said you do anything for someone you love.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that. We were in such a precarious place. I didn’t want to say anything that might scare him away or let him know how I truly felt, because at the end of the day, I loved him. It was that simple.

Instead I gave him a smal smile. “I did say that, didn’t I?”

“Hey mom,” I said, as I headed into the kitchen the next morning, yawning as I said it.

I had been up late the night before with Connor, so I hadn’t gotten much sleep. He’d finaly headed home, shoulders slumped and head down, around three in the morning. As hard as I tried, there wasn’t much I’d been able to do to help ease his mind about everything with his mom and he hadn’t been any more convinced of a solution than he had been when he’d caled me.

“Hey sweetie,” my mom said, as I grabbed a bagel and popped it into the toaster.

It was my mom’s day off, so she was stil in her robe, sipping a cup of coffee and watching a map of New England on the TV. There were swirling colors al over it.

“It’s snowing pretty hard out there,” I said, as I looked out into the backyard.

The snow had started to come down the night before and there had been a thin layer on the ground as I’d walked back across the yard. I was a little worried about my tracks showing in the morning. My parents wouldn’t have been happy that I was up so late, in my tree house, with a boy, even if we were just talking. But as I looked outside, I could see my footprints had been covered up by a few inches of snow.

“There’s a nor’easter on its way here,” she said. “Aaron’s flight’s canceled. He’s not going to make it home for Thanksgiving.” I could hear the sadness in her voice.

“What’s he going to do?” I asked, as my bagel popped up.

“He’s going to the coach’s house,” she said, as my dad came into the kitchen wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. He was apparently working from home that day. “I guess there are some guys who are staying in town, so Coach is hosting a big dinner.”

“At least he won’t be alone,” I said, knowing it wouldn’t be an option for him to go home with Leah since her family basicaly hated him. They stil hadn’t gotten used to their daughter dating a black guy, and Aaron wasn’t sure they ever would.

“I know,” she said, ringing her hands. “I just hate that he’s not here.”

“He’l be fine, Anna,” my dad said, smiling at my mother as he poured himself a cup of coffee. “But if you want, we can set my laptop at his place at the table, so he can sit with us at dinner.”

That got my mother laughing. “I like that idea.”

“At least Wyatt got in,” I said. “I talked to him last night when he was getting his rental car.”

My mom’s face broke into a warm smile. “I can’t wait to see him,” she said, and I knew I could never thank my parents enough for loving Wyatt like a son.

When they invited him in, I don’t think they planned on him staying until he left for colege, but his parents never asked him to come back home, so he didn’t realy have a choice. Thankfuly my parents are two people who don’t judge and were more than wiling to support him in any way they could.

“Have you talked to him recently?” I asked, not sure how long it had been since my mom had connected with her step-son, as she liked to cal him.

“We talked last week,” she said. “He told me al about Jeremy. He seems like a great guy.”

“He also thinks he’s going to make the dean’s list this semester,” my father said, and I could hear the pride in his voice.

I smiled. “You guys, he’s doing so good. I can’t even tel you, and Jeremy’s a realy sweet guy.”

“Wel,” my mom said, getting up to pour herself another cup of coffee. “It seems al my kids have someone special in their lives.”

I got confused for a second, and then remembered that I was dating Jack. I guess I sort of had a boyfriend.

“Is school canceled?” I asked, changing the subject, as I leaned against the counter smearing copious amounts of veggie cream cheese on my bagel.

“Not yet, but it probably wil be.”

A half hour later, my mom came into my bathroom where I was putting on make-up to let me know that school had officialy been canceled. I did a little jig as I headed back to my room, changing into jeans and a long-sleeve tee. There was no use dressing up if I was just going to be hanging out at home al day. Maybe I’d let Jack and Wyatt have some guy bonding time together, since they didn’t get much of that when we were in Michigan, and then cal them later to see if they wanted to hang out.

My cel phone rang as I was puling on a hoodie. I grabbed it off my dresser and looked at the caler ID.

“How are you?” I asked immediately, not bothering with a greeting. “How’s Jordan?”

“Hang on,” Connor said, and I could hear him walking out of the room he was in. “We’re okay. It’s fine. She let us down. It wasn’t the first time, and I won’t be the last, but she’s our mom, so I guess we’re sort of stuck with her.”

“I guess,” I said, wondering if I could be so forgiving if it was my mom who’d acted that way. She’d hit Jordan after al.

“I realy have half a mind to cal Child Protective Services, but quite honestly, I’m not sure they’d be too thriled to learn Jordan and I live alone the majority of the time. Even if I am eighteen, I’m not his legal guardian, so they probably would frown on our situation just a bit.

It’s not worth it anyway. She’l be more hurt when Jordan and I refuse to see her for a while which is punishment enough in my eyes.”

Again, I had no response. He was talking about Child Protective Services and legal guardians. It was way more than I’d ever dealt with.

“So on the bright side, school’s canceled,” I said, looking for a subject change.

“Why?” he asked, and I wondered if he’d bothered to look out the window at al that morning.

“Nor’easter. It’s supposed to come in this afternoon, so they’re taking precautions.”

“A nor-what?” Connor asked, sounding thoroughly confused, and I had to remind myself that he was from a place where it didn’t snow. So began the conversation where I enlightened him on what it meant to live in New England in the winter.

“I’m guessing you don’t have snow tires on your car, do you?”

“Uh, that would be a no. Do I need them?”

“Yeah, they might be a good idea if you don’t want to skid off the road,” I said, trying to keep the sarcasm out of my tone but failing miserably.

“Okay, good to know,” he said, and then I heard Jordan in the background. “Hang on a sec. Hey J, school’s canceled. Free day! Give me a few minutes, and I’l make pancakes.”

He was being extra nice and cheerful which I wished he wouldn’t do. Jordan was a smart kid. He’d see right through the façade.

“I’m talking to Abby,” he said then. “Sure. That sounds like fun.”

I wasn’t sure what they were talking about, so I just stayed quiet, letting Connor handle his brother in his own way.

“Do you want to come over?” he asked then. “Jordan’s complaining that it’s been forever since you’ve been here, so he wanted to see if you could hang out today. We’re just going to stay in since I apparently don’t the right tires on my car to drive anywhere.”

“You probably won’t want to drive anywhere once the storm hits anyway, and most everything wil be closed. Are you sure your girlfriend wil be okay with me coming over?”

“Oh,” he said, and I could tel he hadn’t thought about what she might think. His mind was on his brother. Jordan had asked for me, and it was me he would get. “I don’t know.”

I could tel he was pondering what her reaction would be if he said he couldn’t hang out with her because he was with me.

“Wil your boyfriend care?”

“Ha, ha,” I said, sticking my tongue out at the phone since he’d said it in a playful way. I didn’t think it was a dig at me like his comments the night before. He more so sounded like he was curious. “For the record, Jack isn’t technicaly my boyfriend, and anyway I don’t have plans with him today. I’m free.”

“Oh, that’s too bad,” Connor said, and I could sense the sarcasm in his tone.

“Connor,” I said, warning him.

“Okay, okay,” he said, going on the defensive. “I’l stop.”

“Good. I’l come over, but I’m only staying if you promise to keep things clean. No digs at Jack, okay? He’s your friend.”

“No digs,” he said, and I could tel he felt bad. Jack had been a good friend to him.

An hour later, I layered up to walk the fifty feet to Connor’s backyard. The wind was picking up, and there was at least a foot of snow on the ground already.

I trudged through the backyard, the walk taking twice as long, but Connor met me at the back door with a steaming cup of hot chocolate, so it was worth it. He took a long look outside before, shivering and closing the door to keep the snow out and the warmth in.