Aftershock (12 page)

Rick nodded his head, his face unreadable. “Yeah, Butch happened to mentioned that.”

Oh? Butch did?

“What did he say?”

Rick’s mouth curved in a crooked smile. “That you were a whiz with the media and I should listen to your tips.”

Sydney felt the tension in her body ease just a little.

Thank you, Butch
.

“Good. That’s nice to hear. Because we’ll be together a lot preparing for the media event, rehearsing how to handle and what to say. I’m expecting a really large turnout.”

He lifted an eyebrow. “You think we’ll make that kind of an impression?”

“I hope so.”

“Okay. I guess the ball’s in your court.”

The strain eased just a millimeter. “Does that mean you’re good with this logo? I want to be able to show it to Butch and tell him you’re happy with it.”

He nodded. “Much better than the other ones.” His expression was dead serious now. “All I meant was for you to understand that our music has depth and emotion to it. It tells a story. We want that to be the focus.”

“I understand what you’re saying.”

“Good. I’m glad.”

She looked up and caught him studying her with a very intent look on his face. A look she couldn’t decipher.

Say something
, she commanded silently.
Anything. Anything at all
.

“I’ll tell Linc and Butch so we can proceed with the merchandise order. We have to place it soon. We’ll have stuff for sale in the lobby of the concert venue opening night. First time for the public to buy it. We’ll tease it along with our media releases, so they’ll expect it.”

“Let’s hope for big sales, right?”

“Right. Now let’s talk about the upcoming interview.”

Sitting across from him, trying to pretend their night of unbelievable sex and emotional connection hadn’t happened was one of the hardest things she’d ever done. Somehow, though, she managed it as she went over every aspect of what he could expect when Butch introduced the group at the media conference.

“I’ll need to brief the rest of the band,” she told him, “but you’ll be the primary spokesman.”

Both their careers were riding on this, but she was comfortable enough with his smarts to feel he could handle things. With each passing minute though, disappointment flooded her veins. For the first time in what seemed forever she wanted to find a quiet corner and have herself a good cry. She had acted against her better judgment, so she’d just have to pay the price.

Their coffee was long gone when he finally leaned back in the booth.

“Enough. I’m done for today. We rehearsed for four hours earlier and I’m about wasted.”

“Oh.” She was instantly contrite. “I’m sorry. Maybe we should have picked a different time for this.”

When he didn’t say a word she looked up from her notes to see his gaze locked on her, his eyes like twin lasers.

“Is there a problem?” She was proud her voice was so steady.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”

She dropped her trembling hands into her lap. “About?”

“About Saturday night, goddamnit.” His words were clipped. “I was sure when I walked in here today you’d be ready to chew my ass. Or—” he spread his hands out “—or something.”

Now a thread of anger spiraled through her. Was that what he expected? That she’d verbally attack him the minute she saw him? For what? The night itself or not calling her? She might want to but she prided herself on her professionalism.

“I thought the message you sent was loud and clear. Or rather the lack of one.” Beneath the table, she clenched her fists. “You didn’t call so I guess I know where we stand. It’s apparent what we have is just a business arrangement.”

Much steadier, fueled by her growing anger, she picked up her folder to put it in her briefcase. Before she realized what he was doing his hands shot across the table and gripped both of hers. And oh, God. The instant he made contact with her jolts of electricity zinged through her. Heat wrapped itself around her like a warm blanket and her pussy throbbed with need. Her nipples ached and her throat was as dry as her cunt was suddenly wet.

She dropped the folder, the papers scattering on the surface.

I am such a loser
.

She tried to snatch her hands back but his grip was too strong. His gaze immobilized her, his eyes darkened to the color of bitter chocolate.

“I’m an ass, Sydney. Feel free to call me one.”

Her heartbeat raced at what she saw on his face. Heard in his tone. “And I would do that because?”

“Because I walked in here today acting like nothing had happened, when we both know it did. Because I didn’t call or even text you, although I wanted to every single minute since the other night.”

Her lungs felt squeezed and her throat tightened. She couldn’t seem to get enough air. “It’s okay. I understand.” Again she tried to pull away. And again he just held on more tightly.

“No. You don’t.” His eyes were still focused on her face. “I knew we had something brewing between us. More than just hot sex. You did, too. Don’t try to deny it.”

“I—”

He shook his head. “I’m not done. Saturday night totally blew my mind.
You
blew my mind.” He looked down at their joined hands. “And it scared the shit out of me.”

“Why? Now I
don’t
understand.”

“Sydney, my whole life has been wrapped up in my family and the band. There’s so much about me you don’t know. Falling for someone just isn’t on my to-do list for a long time.”

She wished he would let go. His touch was scorching her and it made it difficult to think. “It’s okay. It’s not on mine, either.”

“You hit me like a ton of bricks.” He went on as if she hadn’t spoken. “I thought if I ignored it, didn’t call you, text you, get in touch with you, see you, this feeling I don’t know what to do with would go away.”

“And did it?” She couldn’t stop herself from asking.

“Not for one second. I know this will sound nuts to you but I can’t get you out of my head. Out of my dreams. When I rehearse, I pretend I’m playing the music just for you. How crazy is that?” He blew out a breath. “I’m not good at stuff like this, Syd. I’ve never been good at relationships and never looked for them. Which is fine because no one ever came along and smacked me in the face the way you did.”

His fingers laced through hers, and now she was afraid to break the contact.

“And now?”

His gaze when he looked at her was burning and intent. But then he looked down at their joined hands. “Jesus, I’m making a mess out of this. Sydney, I have real feelings for you, stuff I’ve never felt for anyone before. It goes way, way beyond sex. And I’m embarrassed to tell you I don’t know how to handle this.”

Relief made her giddy and a tiny hysterical laugh burst from her mouth. “I’m glad to hear it.”

“What?” A flush crept up his cheeks. “Are you laughing at me?”

“No, at us.”

“Us.” He frowned. “What the hell does that mean?”

“Oh, Rick. You can’t imagine how I felt. There are so many reasons why I’ve never opened myself emotionally to anyone like this before. When you didn’t call, didn’t text, just ignored me, what was I supposed to think? Then, today, you show up for this meeting and act like nothing happened. I figured you saw this as a big mistake and wanted to pretend Saturday night never took place. I’m as much of an emotional mess as you are. What I feel for you scares the life out of me.”

The strain on his face eased, and his mouth curved in a crooked grin. “We’re a real pair.” He leaned toward her. “Syd, that was the best damn night of my entire life, and I want more of it. A lot more. And more of you.”

“Are you sure?” There was the insecure ten-year-old in her head again.

“Positive. But….”

“There’s always a but, isn’t there?”

He shook his head. “That was the wrong word. The reality is I wasn’t sure I could trust myself—what I felt. The past five days have been kind of a test for me, to see if this feeling went away or not.”

“And?” she prompted, almost afraid to hear what came next.

“And it not only didn’t go away, it got stronger.” He chuffed out a breath. “I want us to see if what we’ve got is solid, because it sure feels that way to me.”

She swallowed hard. How to say what was on her mind? “I’ll tell you first I feel the same way. And I’ve never said that to anyone else. Ever. I want to be sure you understand that.”

“Okay.” Tension seeped from his body. “Now
I
hear a but
coming
.
”

She looked up at him. “But we need to think carefully about what we do next.”

“Like what?” he growled.

“Like keeping this under wraps. Not letting anyone know about it.” She held her breath, waiting for his reply.

He scowled and released his hold on her. “Syd, are you ashamed of me?”

“No, no, no. Not at all.” She picked up her coffee mug to give herself something to do with her hands. “But this could affect both of us adversely. If word that we’re together gets out, how will the agency react? The band? Butch?” She waved a hand in the air. “The media.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “The media?”

“Yes, the damn media. Rick, this is an industry of rumors. You have no idea how easily tongues can wag. Pretty soon people will be talking about how long Rick Trajean will be fucking Sydney Alexander, instead of talking about the band.”

If she’d slapped him he couldn’t have looked more shocked. Or hurt.

“Are you kidding me? I mean, there’s always club gossip, but I figured at this level we’d be past that.”

She shook her head. “We’re never past it. Reputations can be ruined by vicious gossip. I don’t want that for you.”

“Me? What about you? Or is that really what you’re concerned about?”

“What?” Her eyes widened. “No. Please. That’s not it at all.”

“Listen to me, Sydney.” He took her hands in his again. “I don’t want to lose what we’ve got going here. I didn’t call you because I was afraid you’d just blow me off, but now I see how wrong I was. I want to move forward. To see what we’ve got here. Find out if it’s as real as I think it is.”

She swallowed. “We both have big goals, Rick. We can’t lose sight of them.”

“And we won’t. But at the end of the day, this is what counts. Let’s see where it goes. I can understand why you feel the way you do, about not letting it out in public. You’re probably right but I don’t have to like it.”

“Me, either. I want to tell everyone. But trust me. I know what I’m talking about here.” She blew out a breath. “Besides, you can’t promise me that it isn’t just a momentary thing. We need to be very sure of each other before we expose ourselves to all the gossip. And trust me, there’ll be plenty of it.”

“I am sure, and I’d like to think you are, but okay. I agree this is brand new. It seems neither of us has been willing to take a risk like this before. So we’ll take it in baby steps and keep it just between us. For now.” He pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “And I promise to text you so much you’ll shut off the damn phone.”

She laughed at his words. “Let’s not go overboard.” Then all traces of humor disappeared. “I’ve been so wound up since Saturday. And look at us. Two adults who haven’t a clue how to manage a relationship like this.”

“Because we haven’t allowed ourselves to have one before. Or met someone we wanted one with.”

“Yes.” She sighed. “I’ve been so focused on getting my career started, building my creds, getting the media to respect me so they respond to me. And establishing myself at Full Moon. I couldn’t afford to be distracted.”

“Me, too. With the band.”

The look he gave her made her tremble. Her pulse stuttered and the damn butterflies were back in her stomach.

“You know we won’t have a lot of private time to be together,” he pointed out. “Not yet, anyway. But, Syd?”

“Yes?”

“Listen to what I say. Whatever time we do have will be damn good quality time.” He turned her hand over and pressed a kiss to her palm.

Shivers skated along her spine.

“I was so afraid to believe this was actually happening,” he went on, “but I’m more afraid to miss out on something real and special. So what’s next?”

“We need to focus all our energy on the launch and the tour.”

“Agreed.”

“And you won’t continue to fight me on every little thing,” she added, smiling to take the edge off her words.

“As long as you’ll agree to be open-minded and listen to me.”

Relief surged through her. “Then we’re good to go. You’ve got the list of dates. The next big thing is media day.” She slipped out of the booth, taking her phone and briefcase.

Rick dropped some cash on the table and followed her. “Come on, I’ll walk you out.”

When they reached her car, she tossed her purse and briefcase inside and turned to face him. “Tell me again this is real.”

“It’s real,” he said in a soft voice. “And it’s going to get better. We can’t be scared of it, okay?”

“One day you’ll have to tell me why you’re as afraid as I am.”

“Only if we exchange stories.” He scanned the parking lot before cupping her face and placing a gentle kiss on her lips. “I’ll call you later.”

***

Rick watched her drive away. He could still taste her and feel her lips on his. The moment he’d walked into Coffee and More and seen her in the booth, he’d wanted to kiss her. Restraining himself to make it light and sweet had been a big battle. He was about to step off a cliff and didn’t know how deep the fall would be. For five days, he’d wrestled with the need to call Sydney, talk to her, hear her voice. Reassure himself that Saturday night hadn’t been a dream. That what happened between them was real and special.

The emotional devastation left by his father’s desertion had never completely gone away. His mother had finally moved on and Meredith seemed to be flourishing. But the young Rick never forgot his father’s abandonment, or his need at that young age to create stability in his life. The one lesson he thought he’d learned was never to open himself up emotionally to anyone.

Until now, he hadn’t had a problem, because he hadn’t met anyone who made him want to alter his decision. Sydney Alexander had blindsided him. Invaded every inch of his body and mind.