Aftermath (8 page)

She
picked up the photograph
again and stared into her husband's deep blue eyes. That photo was one of her most treasured possessions. He was laughing in the picture, his big white Hollywood smile and his blue eyes twinkling. She'd snapped the photo of him when they were at their friend
Gary
's wedding dinner.
Ivor,
Gary
's b
est man,
leaned over to Hope during the meal and whispered; “he's got the most incredible blu
e eyes, even I could go for him!
” Niall's appeal was so strong that it was difficult for anyone to resist him. Hope had noticed his bright blue eyes the moment she'd bumped into him in the park. They were the most amazing pure and deep blue she'd ever seen in her entire life and she doubted she'd ever see more beautiful ones again.

They were all sitting at a long table outside on the terrace and having a cracking good time; eating, drinking, chatting and being merry. They'd gotten very silly at the dinner and quite naughty too.
Gary
, one of Niall's friends, suggested they play some games, as if the evening wasn't lively enough already!
Gary
picked up his napkin and folded
it
into a shape which everyone else had to guess. Then he passed the napkin on to the person sitting next to him, who fashioned it into a set of headphones. The next person created a bow-tie. After that there was a priest's collar, a flower, the funnier the better. Finally, it was Niall's turn. He made a garter similar to what a bride wears o
n her wedding day and slipped it
on Hope's leg, much to her mortification. Everyone had gotten such a
laugh from the simple game. She
couldn't help smiling at the happy memory.

Hope gazed unseeingly out the window. “Where are you? What are you doing?” She often spoke aloud to Niall as if he was still with her. She didn't believe he was dead, she couldn't believe it. Somehow, she felt that she would be able to sense if he had gone. Talking to him helped to keep him alive and gave her a feeling of comfort. She knew it was a bit peculiar and that most people would regard it as just plain talking to herself, but she didn't care. It would be her little secret.

The haunting tones of Sinead O' Conor's ethereal voice broke through her thoughts. “Nothing Compares to You” was playing on the radio. The emotion of the song went straight through her, as it always did. It was her and Niall's favourite song and it was the first song they'd danced to at their wedding. It had also been playing in the coffee shop where they'd had their first date. Listening to it was the first moment that Hope had begun to realise that something special was happening. There was such a strong connection between them.

Hope was a skilled masseuse. On set, if anyone had an ache in their shoulders, back or neck she would massage them. Her mother had tried to convince her on numerous occasions that she should start her own business. One day she saw that Niall was moving his head back and forth in awkward movements.

“What's wrong?” she'd asked.

“My neck’s aching,” he'd replied.

“Sit down,” she'd ordered him. “I'll sort you out.”

So he'd sat on the chair in front of her and she'd gotten to work rubbing and kneading his neck and shoulders with her fingers. She could feel such a force in her hands, easing the tension and stress that he tended to store in his neck.

When she'd finished, Niall had stood up, turned around and gotten down on one knee. He'd looked up at her.

“Will you marry me?” he'd asked, with a serious expression on his handsome face.

Hope hadn't answered. She went silent, not knowing quite what to say. The chemistry of that moment sizzled between them.

“Oh, well, at least you didn't say no,” he'd smiled eventually, kissing her hand before releasing her.

Hope had been a little scared by the way she was feeling about Niall Gilligan. She could control her actions, but she couldn't control her thoughts and he was constantly on her mind. He'd become her new obsession, which she'd known was dangerous, but she hadn't cared. She was so enthralled with him. She'd found herself manufacturing ways of bumping into him “accidentally.”

She loved his dare devil, adventure-loving nature and was very excited when she'd discovered he rode motorbikes. He owned a BMW K1200LT and she fell in love with the machine from the first moment she'd set eyes on it! Hope had been crazy about motorbikes for years and had meant to get her licence years ago, but never seemed to get around to sitting the test. The sound of a motorbike gave her goosebumps. She thought they were sexy and dangerous too. When she heard the whirr of Niall's BMW, her heart would race. When she told him how much she loved motorbikes he said, “I promise, one day, I'm going to take you for a ride.”

She waited for that day and it finally happened on their fourth date. She got on the bike and sat behind him. It was her first time being on one and she was a little nervous; nervous and excited. Niall told her to hold on tight. She drew nearer to him. It was amazing to be so close to him. She did nothing, just rode with her arms around his trim waist, her chest against his muscular back. It felt as if they were flying. She had butterflies in her stomach and when they stopped outside the restaurant she was sad that the ride had been so short.

“You're a natural on the bike,” Niall told her as she got off. “I couldn't even feel you.” He gently pushed a stray strand of hair out of her eyes. She knew she wanted him then and there. She wanted him to come to her, to be with her, to feel his gentle touch. She was delighted and couldn't stop beaming with smiles as they made their way into the r
estaurant. He was
too. They were falling in love.

They were having dinner at The Old Boot which was a superb restaurant in a fairly unsavoury part of the city, but they'd heard such rave reviews about the food that they'd wanted to try it. The food was sensational and the décor was amusing to say the least. There were stuffed animals wearing jewellery lining the walls and antique handbags hung from the windows. They were sitting side by side in a quiet booth, with just some simple glowing candles lighting the room. Hope was leaning into Niall but he didn't lean back. He didn't seem to notice what she was doing and she started to think that he wasn't as besotted with her as she was with him. Later, Niall told her that part of him couldn't quite believe that someone like her was attracted to him. He really put her on a pedestal. They talked about many things. He had such a positive outlook on life and she loved hearing his stories about what interested him and what made him happy. He was full of life and understanding and, of course, laughter. She missed his laugh so much; his deep, belly-laugh that made you laugh in response.

Eventually, the evening came to an end and Niall walked her to a taxi which would take her home. She got into the cab and sat down and Niall looked through the open window to say goodbye. Hope looked into his eyes. The entire evening she'd been looking into his eyes. She couldn't find an end to them. When the cab drove off, his eyes stayed with her. It was like he was in front of her all the time. She was shaking and her eyes filled with tears. What was happening? The energy between them was so electric and they hadn't even done anything. She had never experienced anything like this before.
I have to see him again
, she thou
ght.
I have to see him soon.

When she woke up the following morning, he was her first thought. She decid
ed to call him. It was tiresome
playing hard to get. She wanted to tell him how she felt about him and hoped he felt the same. Less than an hour later she heard the roar of his motorbike. She was trembling with joy and could hardly contain herself. They went to a nearby cafe, sat next to each other and drank cappucinos. She was looking into his eyes, being completely hypnotised. At one point she reached over and took his hand in her own. “You are such a wonderful man. I am so happy we met.”

Later, Niall told her that it was then that he realised that she felt the same about him as he felt about her. How funny; they both thought the other wasn't interested. They finished their drinks and said goodbye. Hope was flying to see her mother in South Africa that afternoon and she'd wanted to see Niall before she left. She went back to her apartment to pack. Her feelings were a lot different than they had been the previous night. Now she knew for sure that he f
elt the same way about her. Last
night she had been heartbroken but today her heart was bursting with joy.

Hope couldn't stop thinking about Niall. Her days were spent going through her photo albums, reliving the many happy memories that they'd shared. She'd never forget meeting Niall at the airport when she returned home from visiting her mother in South Africa.

“Would you like to meet me at the airport?” she'd telephoned him before boarding her flight.

“Would I?” he asked. She could hear the beaming smile in his voice. “I'll pick you up on the bike.”

Hope remembered the butterfli
es she had in her stomach during the entire
flight. The second the plane landed she went to the bathroom to freshen up. She wanted to look her best for Niall.

How many times had she been to Cork airport? So many times that she couldn't even count them. There are three separate terminal buildings, and this time, this most important of times, she got mixed up and told Niall the wrong terminal! Eventually, realising her mistake, she called him on
his mobile and redirected him.
When she approached the exit, she saw him outside standing beside his motorbike.

What do we do? Do we just say hello? Do we hug? Do we kiss?
She was overcome with nerves.

The sun was shining brightly as she walked through the doors and reached him.

“Hello,” she smiled shyly, kissing him on the cheek. “Thank you for coming to get me.”

Then she got on the back of his bike and the
y flew down the road together. She wrapped
her arms tight around him, pulling her body as close to him as possible and rested her head on his strong shoulder. The energy floating between them was overwhelming. She couldn't think. Her head was full of the sound of the motorbike and her arms were full of the sweetness and strength of Niall. She never wanted to let him go and wished they could stay like that, lost in that precious moment, forever.

Even at that early stage in their relationship Niall had to travel a lot on business so they didn't get to spend much time together. She was completely infatuated and besotted with him and longed to hear from him. His first business trip away from her lasted a month and du
ring that time she was
hysterically crying and laughing. She was overcome with emotions. She cried over the phone. It wa
s impossible to control the way she felt about him.
She had never felt anything like it before and was helpless before their amazing passion. Niall made her laugh. It was the funniest thing; she was crying and laughing. The vain part of her couldn't help thinking how all her laughing and crying was going to make her look in front of the camera. Her emotions were wild; high, low, high, low, everything was so intense. It was like being on a roller-coaster!

Niall texted her non-stop and she couldn't wait to receive his messages. She kept escaping from the set and rushing to the ladies' room to see what he
had sent and to text him back.
She had saved those first texts and still treasured them.
They gave her hope in the dark days after the tsunami.

I'm acting like a teenager. My feelings are so intense. I'm under your magical spell. My heart is full of love for you. You are making me jump so high, so very, very high. I feel like I'm on a trampoline of love.

His texts were full of his wonderful intelligence, thoughtfulness and humour. Hope loved learning about him; about his personality, his passion, his life. He made her a huge scrapbook during their first year together which he filled with clippings about her television shows, diary entries o
f their special moments
, copies of her texts to him, photographs and drawings. Niall was a gifted artist and cartoonist as well as being clever with words. She was so grateful that he had taken the time to make the scrapbook for her. It was all she had left of him now.

She was full of energy and passion on set, even more so than usual. Work was hard; long hours, early starts and late nights, yet she was happy an
d excited and madly in love. Her head
was all over the place and her colleagues looked at her like she was a crazy woman. She
was
a crazy woman, but she didn't care! At first, she didn't tell
the team about Niall, but soon
she couldn't keep it a secret
any longer. Anyway, she had to tell them because she was afraid
they wou
ld think she was going mental!
Once she'd told her work colleagues she had to tell everyone. Soon she was calling her friends and asking their advice.

“What should I do? I'm so in love. What do I do?”
she’d ask them.

They were worried about her, knowing her obsessive and addictive nature. They didn't want her to be let down and fall into the darkness which s
he'd fought so hard to escape.
Everyone was giving her the same advice. “You're overworked and exhausted. You need rest, time alone. It's been too much on you with work and so many emotions. Don't make any decisions now. Go to a spa for a few days. Clear your mind and then you'll have a better perspective about Niall.”