Afterlife (Afterlife Saga) (43 page)

I sat down next to Sophia and she looked at me with a worried frown.

“Keira, are you all right, you’re very pale and you look tired, didn't you sleep well?” I couldn't help the reaction I gave as I let out an almighty laugh. I turned to look at her and she frowned like I was crazy. Maybe she was right, maybe I had finally lost it!

“I'm sorry that was rude of me, the truth is I don't really know if I slept last night.” Well if she didn't think I was crazy before she most certainly did now.

“What do you mean you don't know?” She said but her face held a hint of something more, as if she was worried and not just for me. Then she seemed to notice the red mark on my neck and I was sure I saw her shake her head. Maybe she thought I had turned to injecting drugs into my neck and this was the result. One dopey arse Keira!

“Never mind, I just had a bad dream, or a good one I can't really explain it but I'm fine. I’m ok, don't worry.” She looked sceptical but let it go as Reed entered the class.

At the end of the lecture Sophia asked me if I needed a lift home as she had noticed RJ wasn't in today.

“Thanks but its ok I have a lift, Jack picked me up this morning.”

“Oh Jack,
as in the ‘not’ boyfriend but wants to be, Jack?”
She said this as she looked round to a passing student and he stared back at her with a strange tint in his eye. I hadn't noticed the student before but he was coming out of our class so maybe it was someone she knew from there.

“Umm, yeah well I mean he's just a friend.”

“You really need a car don't you? I bet you would love to have the freedom and not to have to rely on other people all the time.” She said as we walked outside together.

“Yeah I would but I think I will need a few more pay packets before that happens, besides I'm just happy that I have a job and a good one at that, so it won't be long.” She smiled as though once again I had missed something important. She said something else that sounded like “We'll see” and left, waving as she got in the huge black beast of a Land Drover. I couldn't help but wonder if Draven was also in there, so I lowered my head in shame and memories of last night flooded back to me, making my waist feel warm again from where his arm had wrapped securely around me.

I had regained some normality on the drive home and Jack seemed happier about it. He asked if I was working tonight and when I replied yes, it was obviously not the answer he'd been hoping for. I told him thanks for the lift and waved goodbye as he pulled away.

While at work I remained quiet and most of the time unresponsive. I worked the hours that seemed more like minutes and Draven didn't approach me all night and for once I was happy about it. There was a new feeling I now held for him and I didn't
want it to show through. I was now a bit afraid of him. I know I was being stupid but I couldn't help it. He had been so powerful in my dream last night and I had been powerless and weak against him.

I saw his eyes find mine as I walked past his table to go home, but I lowered my face in what must have looked like disappointment. Of course I still felt as strongly for him, if not more so but I didn't know i
f my heart could take much more,
or
my mental health. I didn't feel like myself any more. Somewhere along the way I had lost control of my thoughts and it was ever since I had first laid eyes on Dominic Draven. 

I went outside to wait for Frank's car to come into view and I sat down out of sight of the doormen. The stone wall was cold and I could feel the wet soaking through the material of my trousers but I didn't care. I needed to get my head straight. I needed to feel like I was in control of my own thoughts and more importantly my own actions. This dream had been different. There was no one that was trying to steal it away from me making it blurry and I didn't know if this was a good thing. I went through so many different accounts of last night and it all kept boiling down to one thing I had said.

I was broken...

I knew that I could never be “Fixed” as he had called it. There was no hope and I couldn't do anything about it, so it was about time that I just accepted it. Surely then I could move on? Tears were slowly following others in its path and before long my cheeks were wet with salty water. I wiped them off with the back of my hand, angry at myself for being so soft.

“Pull yourself together Keira!” I said out loud. Frank would be here soon and I didn't want him seeing me upset. I was good at hiding my feelings. Hell I was a pro! I was a terrible liar but through lots of practice I could have won an Oscar for acting as though I was fine.

When Frank turned up I played my usual trick of asking him about a game I knew he had seen recently on the box. This lasted me all the way home with just having to nod and say the occasional “Umm,” and “Ah” when it was needed.

I don't know why but that night I cried myself to sleep.

I felt better the next day after a dreamless sleep and having a full day between my last one was a little bit comforting. My dreams were getting out of hand so I made the decision that I would make an appointment to speak to a doctor, in order to get some more pills. I was going to beat this obsession, it wasn't healthy and it had to stop! I kept that frame of mind all day as I helped Libby with housework and we both cooked a pie together for tonight's meal. Well I say “We” in the loosest sense of the word, as it was more like I cooked and she talked, keeping me company.

Every now again I did slip up and when Libby asked me what had happened to my neck I dropped the knife I held in my hand, nearly severing off a couple of toes. I told her what I had first thought it could have been.

“Bug bite!” I said passing it off as nothing, which was far from the truth.

For the whole two hours leading up to my next shift I tried to convince myself that I was a waitress and nothing more and I needed to get this sickness out of my head before it got me into even more trouble. Because primarily that was what
Draven was...Trouble. I had come here to get away from all of that and so I would have to try to remember that throughout the night.

Of course, as soon as I walked past his table for the first time on my shift, all my logic went out of my head as though someone had flicked a switch. I scorned myself for not being strong enough to not want him. Damn him! Why couldn't I find the strength, after all the things I had done and been through.... this I couldn't do!

I was fighting with my mind and my heart trying to get them to co-operate but they were rebelling and as a result I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing. I kept making mistakes, taking orders to the wrong tables and bumping into the other waitresses. In the end I told Karmun that I needed five minutes to sort my head out and he threw a bottle of water at me as though he knew this would be my cure.

Once outside I nearly downed the whole bottle, as I couldn't get rid of the thirst nagging at my throat like I’d swallowed barbed wire. I needed some sort of pain to bring me back to down to the earth I didn't feel part of. I let the anger course through my veins and build up and up until I broke. I punched one of the trees by the door making it shake under the pressure. I had hit it with everything I had, and a sharp twig scratched at my hand and knuckles.

It didn't bleed but it left a mark and I had accomplished my goal, as now I was fully alert to the pain. I knew it wasn't the best idea but it had worked, I now went back to my job without making a pig’s ear of it. I buzzed around as I was now
back
in the zone. I cleared all my tables and replenished them all with drinks again as though I had downed a few espressos. The throbbing in my hand only made me concentrate more and I pulled my glove over my hand to hide my blazing red skin. Ok, so it was going to leave a bruise but I didn't care.

My shift was soon over and I was saying goodbye to Karmun when my night changed back from bad to good and back to bad again. It was like being on a roller-coaster with a constant stream of up's and down's. Ok, so mostly downs at the moment but considering my foul mood this didn't surprise me!

I had turned too quickly and knocked straight into the blonde... Layla. She dropped her tray, which thankfully was empty, looked down at it and then up at me with fury in her eyes.

I held my hands up saying “Sorry.” But that would never be good enough for her so instead I started to walk way giving her space.

“Where do you think you’re going vermin?” She said spitting out her words. I wondered what it was about me that she hated so much. I turned round and said

“What did you say?” With my outrage brewing and showing its ugly head.

“You heard me, you parasite!” Her lips curved into a sadistic grin.

“Leave it Layla!” Karmun was now getting in on the act, trying to convert tension into peace.

“Stay out of this Kokabiel!”  I didn't understand what she called him but it had been effective. He left to stand at the other end of the bar leaving me alone with this nutty girl, who was gladly putting my crazy to shame. She looked down at the tray that was lay on the floor and she nodded to it saying,

“Pick it up!” Her words slithered through blood red lips and I half expected a snake's tongue to come out of her filthy mouth.

“NO!” I said folding my arms, determined that this would be one night that I wouldn't back down.

“Pick it up NOW!” Her eyes burned, turning red and blood shot.

“I said NO!” I now was about to walk away from this stupid girl's paddy but she grabbed my arm and dug in long fingernails and twisted them deeper into my skin. I squinted my eyes as the pain was making them water but I still couldn't bring myself to pick it up.

“Do it, I know this hurts.” She was sick! I tried to free my arm but she twisted more and I could feel her nail rip into my skin piercing the flesh. I couldn't help the moan of pain but I still managed to say,

“I have felt more pain than your little cat scratch.” I knew what was coming and waited for more pain to come as I could already feel little drops of blood on my arm soaking into my glove. She smiled at my reply and the sick Bitch looked happy about it. I tensed my face not wanting to give her the satisfaction of seeing me hurt when she suddenly dropped her hand to her side. Her face abruptly turned to stone.

“Is there a problem Layla?” Draven's strong authoritative voice boomed behind me, and it was quite clear he was not happy.

“
Nn
...
o
...no my lord.” She said as she lowered her head in respect. I rubbed my arm as you could see the imprints on my gloves where her nails had gone through the material. Damn it, another pair of gloves ruined. 

“Keira, would you like to add anything to this?” I turned to face him and looked at him with an over emotional face as the anger I felt for them both hadn't yet subsided.

“No, she dropped her tray and that's about the end of it.” I said not wanting to make an issue of it. Layla looked at me shocked why I hadn't given her up to Draven. I just figured that there wasn't much point as he didn't look a bit convinced. He soon turned back to her.

“Back to work
Lahash
,
Eu
vou
tratar
con
vostede
máis
tarde
!”
(Means “I will deal with you later” in Gaelic) He spoke the words so fluently but I didn't have a clue to what he had said or even what language he had used. She understood though, for what he must have said made her cringe and look frightened. I almost felt sorry for her, remembering never to get on the bad side of him. She was about to leave as she backed up lowering her face like he was some kind of sultan. And what was with the “My Lord” bit?

She was about to turn when he pointed to the floor at the tray saying,

“Pick it up!” And this time she did without hesitation. I didn't blame her because compared to Draven her anger looked like a kitten next to a sabre tooth tiger.

Once we were alone he pulled me to one side grabbing the arm that she had dug her nails into, so I couldn't help moaning at the feel of pressure. It was also the hand that I hit the tree with so it didn't look good for me. He let go of my arm once he heard the groan that slipped out. He didn't ask me what was wrong he just lifted my arm and examined it.  I pulled it away from him and said,

“
It’s
fine,” and held my hand behind my back.