Afterlife (29 page)

Lucas’s face was a mask of rage, and yet her fmal words,
Jive again, made him shut his eyes tightly.

Her voice became lower, softer, sweet. “I see how you look
at the human students. I know your hunger — it’s something we share. I traded
my human life to a vampire for the sake of love, and revenge, and two centuries
later I remain trapped in the prison of my corpse. It’s so heavy, isn’t it?
Carrying around your own dead body? Knowing yourself to be a monster and hating
every urge you feel? But it’s almost over, Lucas. We’re almost free.”

He opened his eyes. They looked deeply at each other for a
long second, and I thought, in desperation, I’ve lost him. For real, this time.

“Join me,” she said, “and live again.”

Lucas flung her hands from his shoulders. “No.”

Mrs. Bethany stepped back, one hand to her throat. “Mr. Ross
— ”

“You threw that guy away like he was nothing,” Lucas said.
“You trashed him, and it doesn’t matter to you one bit. You’ll destroy the
wraiths like they
‘ re
nothing, including — including
the ones most like living things — and that doesn’t matter to you either. I can’t
do that, not ever, not even to..
. .
You know, I don’t
care what magic you work. Even if you pull it off, even if you give yourself a
heartbeat, you ‘II still be dead inside.”

Silence. They stood there, regarding each other as though
they were strangers. Mrs. Bethany looked — sad. Crushed. At last she said
quietly, “I had hoped you would be a part of this.”

“I had hopes,” Lucas said. “But I’d never be a part of this.’
He ran for the door and out onto the grounds.

How could I have doubted him, even for a second? Lucas had
stood by me. He had kept my secret. In the face of the ultimate temptation, he
had walked away without any doubts. Amid my astonishment and horror, I also
knew a deep, powerful joy. I raced after him, a breeze high above the grounds,
shaking down red and gold leaves from the trees so that they scattered behind
me.

Lucas ran into the forest, and at first I thought he must be
going after Samuel, though I couldn’t imagine what we could do to help him.
Instead, as 186 soon as the trees concealed him from the school — in a small
glade that I recognized as the place we’d first met — he collapsed to the
ground, on his hands and knees. His breaths came raggedly, and I realized he
was on the verge of tears.

I took form slowly, giving him time to tell me to go, if he
wanted to be alone. But he fumbled in his pocket, grabbing my brooch, and
handed it to me. As soon as I felt the jet, my body became entirely solid, and
Lucas clutched me to him with all his strength.

“There’s a way out,” he gasped. “There’s a way out, and I can
never take it.”

I held him tighter. Why hadn’ t I realized how much worse
this would be for him? He’d been promised a release from an existence he
considered worse than any jail — and it was true; every one of Mrs. Bethany’s
promises was true. It was the doorway out, and he would never walk through it.

Then I considered that. A small, scared feeling quivered
inside me, but I didn’t let it take me over.

I held Lucas as he buried his face in the curve of my
shoulder, his whole body shaking with suppressed emotion. Until I was sure, I
couldn’ t speak.

Finally I said, “We could do it.”

Lucas shifted back, enough to see my face. “Do what?”

“The ritual. What Mrs. Bethany did.” I steadied myself. “I
could bring you back to life.”

“No. You’d be giving up whatever life or existence you have
left, and then you ‘d be gone forever.”

“You offered to do the same for me,” I said. “Remember?”

“And you were brave enough to die in my place.” Lucas
brushed his thumbs across my cheeks and cradled my face in his hands. “I’m not
gonna give you anything less.”

I hugged him again, and he sank against me like he was
exhausted. Mrs. Bethany would never hold power over him again, I knew, and yet
his burden was heavier than ever. It would never get any easier. Neither of us
would ever die, or ever live again.

LATER THAT NIGHT, UP IN THE RECORDS ROOM, we told the others
what we’d seen. So, instead of just Lucas and I being in total shock, each of
us sat around mutely for about an hour. Mrs. Bethany’s feat — returning a
vampire to life — defied every physical and supernatural law any of us had ever
known, and yet there was no denying what we’d witnessed.

Balthazar repeated, for about the eighth time, “It’s still
so …
unreal to me. That there’s a way back to being
alive.”

“Doesn’t tempt me,” Patrice sniffed, as though she hadn’t
spent the first ten minutes after our revelation repeating “Oh, my God,” over
and over. “I found out the hard way — once someone’s dead, in whatever way they
happen to be dead, it’s best to leave things as they are.” She suddenly seemed
to be highly interested in her rings.
but
I knew she
was remembering her long — lost love, Amos, whom she had brought back as a
ghost. Although Patrice was too private to ever share the full details, it was clear
the results had been tragic.

Vic nodded. “Raising the dead brings up serious monkey’s paw
issues, definitely. What do you think, Ranulf?”

Ranulf, by far the calmest of the vampires in light of this
news, shook his head. “I was alive for seventeen years,” he said. “I have been
a vampire for approximately thirteen hundred years. This is truer to my nature,
now.”

“I’d do it,” Balthazar said. His eyes met mine
apologetically. “If it didn’t involve killing a sentient being, that is. If it were
anything else — I mean, anytllinrl’d go back in a second.”

“So we know what she’s after now,” Lucas said. His eyes had
an unearthly focus; he was strategizing, I realized, as a way of distracting
himself from pain. “And we know we want to stop her. So we need to find the
traps. Clear this place out and make it safe for Bianca, not to mention any
other wraiths Mrs. Bethany hasn’t already snared.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Balthazar said. He had taken the only
real chair in the room, while Vic and Patrice took the beanbags. Ranulf and
Lucas were both sitting on old crates, and I was levitating about halfway to
the ceiling. “Do we just want to divide the grounds up into sections, go
through 188 them when we can
?
”

Lucas shook his head. “I want to make one massive sweep. She’s
probably laying new traps all the time, but if we could get this place cleared
out for a little while, it might make it easier to track what she does from
here 0111 out.”

“When are we supposed to do that?” Patrice said. “Someone’s
going to notice.” Lucas began, “Late at night, maybe
— ”

“Hang on,” Vic interrupted. “I’m about to be brilliant. What
about the Autumn Ball?”

Evernight Academy’s biggest dance — the vampire version of
the prom — was only a week away. Ranulf had a date, but to the best of my
knowledge, nobody else did. As I rolled the idea around in my mind, I liked it
more. “Everyone will be out, be busy, and lots of people will go into different
rooms to make out or sneak a beer or whatever. That makes it good cover for
pretty much anything we would need to do.”

“There’s no we here,” Lucas said. “It’s too dangerous for
you.”

I wanted to argue, but in this particular case, Lucas wasn’t
being overprotective. Sending a ghost to find ghost traps would be a little
like sending a vampire to inspect a stake factory. “Well, then, it gives me
something to watch while you guys are busy. It’s a perfect distraction — Balthazar,
remember how you and I were able to go through the school records last year?”

After the words came out, I wished I could have pulled them
back; it was never a great idea to remind Lucas, or Balthazar, that Balthazar
and I had been on a date last year.

The silence that followed hung awkwardly in the room, until
Vic couldn’t take it anymore. “Okay!” he said, too cheerfuUy. “So we’re all
going to the Autumn Ball. Ranulf and I have dates — what about you guys?”

“Since when did you get a date
?
” I
asked, joining his effort to brighten the mood of the evening.

Vic looked sheepish. Ranulf said, “Upon questioning, my date
revealed that she has a friend lovely in visage yet unfortunate in matters of
romance. We have therefore arranged for Vic to accompany her to the ball. “

“You found him someone,” I said. “Hey, it works.” It
occurred to me that Maxie would probably be somewhat jealous about that.

““d planned to travel that weekend,” Patrice said, “but I
suppose if I stayed, I could wear my new Chane
!.
What
do you say, Balthazar? Let’s be partners in crime.”

Balthazar sighed. “Sure. But one of these years, I hope to
go to this party with somebody who actually wants to date me.”

“So that just leaves Lucas,” Vic said. Then his face fell.
“And that gets kinda awkward.”

Lucas shrugged. ‘Til be the guy who doesn’t go. I can just
dig around up in the dorms.”

“No,” I said. Although I hated this, I knew it was true:
“The people who go to the party are the ones who have the most freedom that
night. Otherwise, the teachers will think that if You’re not in your dorm, you’ve
got to be up to something.”

“You want me to ask some other girl out on a date
?
” His disbelief would’ve been funny, if it weren’t such
serious business.

“Uh, no. But is there someone you could maybe go with just
as a friend?” I hesitated, realizing that Lucas only had one other friend at
school — but maybe she would do. “Like Skye?”

“Would she understand it’s not a date
?
”
Patrice said.

“Sure,” I said. “She’d only be looking for a friend to go
with, because she’s got a boyfriend back home.”

“Actually, not so much, “Lucas said. “I heard her telling
Clementine earlier today — apparently her boyfriend just dumped her hard. But
she said she’d date a guy again ‘about six months after hell freezes over,’ so
I’m guessing she’d only want a friend right now. That’s not the real problem,
though.”

“You Wouldn’t attack her,” I said, trying to be soothing. “You’re
getting stronger. Besides, you’ll meet her downstairs and be in the center of a
crowd the whole time. If you did snap, which you won’t, somebody would be there
to stop you.”

Lucas shook his head. “Too risky. Let me go witl1 Patrice,
and Balthazar, maybe you could ask Skye.”

“I’ve never so much as spoken to her,” Balthazar said. “She
probably doesn’t know who I am.”

Patrice and I shared a look. Balthazar could be obtuse about
his own good looks. Maybe he and Skye had never spoken, but there was no way
any straight girl or gay guy at Evernight Academy didn’t know exactly who he
was.

“So ask somebody else,” Lucas said.

More firmly, Balthazar said, “I think spending some time
with a human would be a good idea for you.” He glanced at Vic. “An
.. .
undaubed
human. You can’t stay
at Evernight much longer, now that things are getting weird with Mrs. Bethany.
Eventually you’ve got to test yourself. Try to strengthen your self — control.
And like Bianca said, this is as good an opportunity as any.”

“I guess.” Lucas gave me an uneasy look. “Bianca, are you
sure about this?”

Honestly, I felt a little jealous. Not of anything happening
between Lucas and Skye — I had total faith in him. But Skye would get to dress up,
go to the ball, and dance with Lucas the whole night long, while I was stuck
watching from the ceiling in the spectral version of the pajamas I’d died in.
That was a pretty stupid reason to fret, though. “As long as she gets the whole
friends thing, yeah. It’s fme.”

From his place in the beanbag chair, Vic hung his head
backward and grinned at Lucas. “Okay, it’s slightly losery to have your best
friend find you a date,” he admitted. “But way less losery than having your
girlfriend find you one.”

Lucas scowled at him, though I could tell, despite his bleak
mood, he thought it was funny. “Shut it.”

The preparations for the dance took a fair bit of time;
since I wouldn’ t be able to take part in the search, I did what I could on the
prep work. We mapped out the different areas of the school and decided who
would slip out to which area, and when.

Lucas seemed possessed by a wild, desperate energy. He
strategized more than any of the rest of us, studied longer than before, and
made Balthazar practice fencing with him for hours. I thought that he was
trying to keep himself in a perpetual state of exhaustion — so that he would be
too tired to fully contemplate the fact that there was a way for him to live
again, but it was one he could never take advantage of. Even the dancing
lessons he took from Patrice were intense and joyless, with Lucas memorizing
the steps as though they were Black Cross battle moves.

As important as our plans were, though, I couldn’t spend all
my time preparing for the Autumn Ball search. At moments, I had trouble so much
as 191 thinking about it. Something else, just as important, was on my mind.
Finally, Wednesday night, the time came.

I waited in the forest grove with my coral bracelet nearby,
eager and yet nervous, until I saw my father coming toward me. Quickly I
slipped on my bracelet and ran forward for a hug. He gathered me into his arms,
so strong and warm that for a second it was as if I were a little girl again,
scared of thunderstorms and trusting my daddy to protect me from the lightning.

“Is she here?” I whispered.

“She’s coming.” Dad squeezed my hands. “I broke it to her a
couple hours ago.”

“Is she okay?” Despite my father’s reassurance, I couldn’t
stop worrying that my mother Wouldn’t be able to accept me as a wraith.