After We Fall (6 page)

“I know, but…I'm out of sorts. Lately, and I mean like in the past two or three days, I've been laughing again. Smiling, making friends, I think. I've been hugged and touched, and, for the most part, I didn't want to run away screaming.”

“That's wonderful.” Piper's eyes light up. “It means you're getting healthy and not letting the past control your life.”

“The guy?” Piper nods. “He asked me to dinner, but I said no and that I wasn't looking to get involved with anyone.”

“Nothing wrong with establishing your boundaries.”

Grabbing the napkin in front of me, I begin to knead it. “Except I wanted to say yes.”

“Nothing wrong with that, either.”

Frustrated, I blow out a breath. “You're not helping.”

“You asked me to listen, not tell you what to do,” she points out, calm as ever.

“What would you do?”

She smiles. “If you want to be around this guy, then do it in a place that's very public and casual. So casual that it's almost a non-date, you know? No pressure, no expectations.”

“But what if I'm wrong about him?” My lower lip trembles and it feels as though the room is closing in on me. “What if the next guy I pick is worse than Penn?”

Piper's forehead wrinkles, then smooths out as she tentatively touches my hand. Her skin is so hot…or maybe it's that mine is so cold. “What if he's not?” she asks gently. “What if he's a man who is deserving of your time and attention?”

“That's a lot of what-ifs.” I take a sip of my tea while trying not to cry.

“I wish I could say for sure what kind of man this guy is and ease your mind.”

“You already know him,” I whisper, tears on the verge of falling.

“Who?”

“Hunter Sloan.”

Her eyes close as she gives my hand a small squeeze. “Oh, honey, he's a good man. Hunter helps people; it's his job.”

I laugh, but it's bitter. “That was Penn's job, too.”

“I'm sorry, Evangeline.”

“For what? You didn't pick a loser like I did.” I sit back in my chair. “That was all me. After I fell for him, there was nothing wrong he could do in my eyes.”

“That's normal. That's called falling in love.”

“I'm not in love with Hunter.”

“Who said you had to be?”

I shrug. “I don't know.”

Piper brushes a strand of hair behind her ear. “I know you don't trust yourself right now, but the only way you'll learn to trust yourself again is by attempting to do the things that terrify you.”

“Like going out on a date?” I ask, my voice all watery.

“Or even holding hands with a sympathetic friend.” She gazes at where our hands are still joined.

Five months ago, I wouldn't let
anyone
near me, much less comfort me by touching any part of my body. Yet, here I am…I want to have a life again. I want to be normal.

Most of all, I don't want Penn to win.

Lifting my gaze to Piper's, I say, “If I get another opportunity, I'll
consider
something…casual.”

My next on-duty shift keeps me busy for three days straight. I was so slammed with casework that I actually paid the college kid in apartment A to let Jake stay with him. No damn wonder I can't have an actual pet, or a relationship, for that matter. With my work schedule, by the time I see Evangeline again, it'll be the back of her head as she drives away.

Or something equally as bad.

“Ready to go?” I ask Jake, scratching his head. There is nothing I'd like to do more than crash, but I made Jake a promise to go see his honey at the dog park. While I can't guarantee the little blond cocker spaniel will be there, I can, at least, deliver on my promise.

Jake's tail wags like crazy as we make our way to the dog park. Another thing I like about Rose Haven's location, it's close to everything. Things have really changed in this part of Forrestville, and for the better.

Growing up, this section of Forrestville was considered the absolute wrong side of the tracks. A lot of the houses were abandoned; there was lots of crime and no jobs—hence, the lots of crime. People were afraid to let their kids play in the backyard, much less the front yard, but developers came in, worked with the locals, and have made amazing changes. I think the place looks like it did when it was first built out—all craftsman-style houses and neighborhood stores.

It's a great place to raise a family now.

A kid darts out in front of me, catching a football and trampling flowers as he goes to avoid falling into the street. “Sorry, Dad. Sorry!”

My gut clenches. Apologizing to my dad only got me a worse beating.

His dad jogs to the edge of the yard and takes the football. “Not your fault. Threw it too hard.”

The boy looks up at him and you can see that he's relieved. “But Mom will be mad.”

“Not if we make things right. Go get the garden supplies and we'll see what we can come up with.”

“She's gonna love what we come up with,” the boy shouts, taking off.

The dad looks at me and shrugs. “Kids, gotta love 'em.”

I nod, but inside I'm overwhelmed at the memories their interaction evoked.

My dad shoving me against the wall for wanting to sit with him while he watched the game. My dad smacking me for trying to get him to stop hitting my mom. My dad yelling at me for being a no-good piece of half-Mexican shit for singing with my mom while I helped her do laundry…before he turned on her, hitting her over and over with a wire hanger for encouraging me to do women's work.

My mother screams, her face pale and her eyes huge as she looks down. The blood. All the blood pouring from my father's head. He was heavy, so heavy.

Sweat pours off me, down my back and face. The trees seem ominous, dark, and their branches reach for me, oddly shaped like claws.

“Fuck,” I breathe, wiping at my sweaty forehead. “Fuck.”

Jake whimpers a little, jumping up to lay his paws against me, and I rub his head. He licks my hand. I take a deep breath, then another one and another, until the sounds of violence and the smell of blood fade away.

Finally, Jake tugs on his leash and I start walking again.

“Sorry, buddy.” Then I realize why the dad and son affected me so quickly and so deeply. Their house is built on the lot where mine used to stand. Usually, I don't walk on this side of the street, but the shade was calling me.

Next time, I sure as hell won't listen.

The dog park comes into view, as does a familiar face.

Evangeline.

She's playing with other dogs in the fenced-in area, with a huge grin on her face. I've never seen her like this before, so open and carefree. This has to be her before her asshole ex put his hands on her.

Jake tugs harder. “Spot your honey, huh? So did I.”

We enter the dog park through a side entrance that's not easily seen from Evangeline's vantage point. I don't want to ruin her good time, but I don't want to ruin Jake's, either. Plus, I want to be near her again, even if it's from a distance.

Right after I remove Jake's leash, he takes off for the cocker spaniel that's currently being petted by Evangeline. As soon as Jake joins in, she kneels and rubs his head, too. Of course that greedy attention seeker revels in her touch. Never in my life did I think I'd
ever
be jealous of a dog.

But I am.

As I step around the hedge of bushes, our gazes collide. Her smile falters a little. I fully expect her to run away, but she stands her ground, ready to do battle. If I thought it would help, I would shout it out to the world to hear that I don't want to hurt her, but I doubt Evangeline would want that kind of attention.

Hell, based on the way things ended the last time we were together, she doesn't want any kind of attention at all from me. If I were a smarter man, I'd cut my losses and move on, but, like I said, I would have to be a smarter man.

A light breeze stirs the loose pieces of hair around her face as I draw closer. There is so much wariness in her eyes, but with that, I find determination, which means she's ready to put me in my place for good or—who am I kidding? Of course she's going to put me in my place for good, but I'm not going to give her additional reasons to do it.

“Hey there. Sorry about Jake interrupting playtime,” I say, keeping my voice friendly. “He was pumped to finally get out here.”

Jake and his lady friend jump around us.

I glance around for the cocker spaniel's owners. Two men sitting at a park bench at the edge of the park wave and I tip up my chin in acknowledgment.

“That's John and Carl,” Evangeline says. “John's recovering from pancreatic cancer, so he can't play with Brandi like she wants and needs. Carl is his home nurse.”

“Congrats to John on coming back from that. One of the guys down at the station battled with it—not pretty at all. I'll be sure to speak to him before I leave.” I turn my attention back to the dogs, instead of to Evangeline, like I want, and get down on their level. “Brandi, huh? Jake sure knows how to pick them.”

Brandi licks the side of my face while Jake shoves her out of the way to do the same. Apparently, there are some things Jake won't allow.

I can't help but grin.

“He picked her?” Evangeline asks.

I lift my gaze, careful not to linger on her legs or breasts. “They've played together a few times, and he doesn't like it when we have to leave. Usually, it's crowded when we come and I have to keep a close eye on him, so I never got a chance to speak with her owner.”

“Oh.” She licks her lips, a nervous habit and not one meant to get me going, but damn, it's hard not to be attracted to her. “Um…I guess I'll go, now that Brandi has a playmate.”

“Why?”

She shrugs. “I don't have a dog. The only reason I'm here is because Brandi got away—saw a squirrel or cat, according to John—and ran into me while I was on my walk.”

“They had to appreciate that.”

“Yeah, Carl was not happy. He was in the middle of chasing after her when she literally ran into me and wrapped her leash around my legs.” She rubs her thigh. “I hit the ground pretty hard, but luckily I was on the grass and not the sidewalk.”

I fight back the urge to assess her injury. “Good thing the two parks basically circle each other.”

Evangeline nods. “Which is why I'm not needed anymore.”

“I don't know about that.”

Her gaze flies to mine. “Why else would I stay?”

“Maybe you need someone to play with.” Before she can get outraged, I continue on. “I have a couple of balls—”

She frowns, but her gaze slides down my body. “I bet you do.”

Digging my hand into a pocket, I pull out two tennis balls. “What else could that bulge in my pants be?”

Her cheeks flame, then her lips twist, but she's not mad. I can see it in her pretty eyes, but the look is fleeting.

“I have no idea.”

“How to work these?” I hold out a ball to her. “Jake tends to like it when I throw one for him to fetch. Bet Brandi feels the same way.”

Her jaw works a little, like she's dying to tell me off, but what can she say without assigning a deeper meaning to my words. She grabs the ball and calls Brandi's name. The dog stops and waits. Evangeline throws, and when I mean throws, she throws, clear to the other side. Brandi goes racing after it, Jake hot on her heels.

I whistle through my teeth in a show of appreciation. “Damn, girl, you almost hit the fence.”

A proud smile slips on her face. “Thanks.”

“Not sure if I should bother throwing mine. Jake's going to be mighty disappointed when it doesn't go as far as yours.”

“Try it anyway,” she says as the dogs come racing back.

Brandi drops the ball in front of Evangeline and sits, her tail wagging. Evangeline praises her while scratching behind the dog's ears.

“Fetch, Jake,” I say, throwing the ball.

Once again, both dogs take off and come back. Evangeline and I take turns throwing, then start tossing the balls at the same time.

“You're good with dogs,” I say.

“I grew up on a farm.”

“Have you ever considered fostering a dog?” I ask.

“No.” She shakes her head, her light brown ponytail swinging. The sun highlights the blond streaks in it, turning her hair the color of honey. “Is Jake a foster?”

“Yeah. I've had him for a couple of months, but there's a forever family who's interested in adopting him, so…”

Tossing Brandi another ball, she says, “You'll miss him, won't you?”

“More than I thought I would. He grew on me.”

“Is that your plan with me?” she asks, and the ball I'm holding slips out of my grasp.

“I don't have a plan for you.” Bending over, I grab the ball and throw it. Jake races away. “In fact, the only plan I have is to grab some tacos from Domingo's truck when Jake finally has enough.”

“There's a taco truck?”

I nod. “On the perimeter of the park. He doesn't get too close so the dogs won't go
loco
…crazy over the smell.”

Jake runs back to me and flops down. Brandi joins him, and soon it's a lick-everything-they-can-reach fest.

“I like tacos,” Evangeline says, so quietly that I almost miss it.

“Who doesn't?” I don't want to assume anything. I can't assume anything with her. For all I know, conversation with me is all she can do right now.

“Some people don't.”

Her ex, I'm sure of it. “When's the last time you had a good taco?”

“Five years and six months,” she says, then looks away, but I don't miss the shame on her face.

The bastard.
“Must have been one hell of a bad taco to wait for so long, huh?”

Her chin jerks up. She stares at me for a minute. “The worst ever.”

“If you're willing to take a chance on the best taco you've ever had, then I'll introduce you to Domingo. He'll fix you right up.”

“Brandi,” one of the guys calls out, and I turn in time to see the little cocker spaniel run to the fence.

Evangeline strides toward them and I follow her. “Thanks for letting me play with her,” she says.

“You're welcome, but Brandi needed the exercise. We try to come at least every other day. She's helping me as I recuperate, but technically she's not a therapy dog,” John tells me.

Carl adjusts his grip on the top handles of John's wheelchair. “She's a handful, but when I'm off, she's a godsend.”

“Jake enjoys playing with her,” I say, grabbing his collar to prevent him from going with Brandi as Carl opens the gate. “Looks for her every time we come. Hopefully, we can have another fetch session soon.”

“That would be wonderful,” John says, a grin on his gaunt face.

Evangeline is mostly quiet as she stands a couple of feet away from all of us. My gut tightens. I want her by my side, but I can't force this.

As they walk away, I turn to her. “Ready to meet Domingo?”

She takes a step back and my heart sinks. I lost my chance.

“Are you sure the tacos will be the best I've ever had?”

Oh, hell yes, baby. They will be so good, you'll keep coming back for more. “Fairly certain,” I say evenly.

“And it's right over there?” She points to the opposite side of the park.

“Yeah. All out in the open and everything.” Letting go of Jake, I head to the south entrance. “Ready, boy?”

Evangeline falls into step beside me, sending my body on high alert for all the right reasons. “Jake eats tacos, too?”

“Nah. Domingo always gives him a special treat.”

Pulling Jake's leash out of my pocket, I attach it to his collar. “Mind grabbing my balls?”
Oh shit.
I shouldn't have said that, but Evangeline is nodding and not commenting on my thoughtless request.

Wordlessly, she scoops them up as we pass by and hands them to me.

“Thanks.”

“You're welcome.”

Once we're out of the dog park, it's a quick walk to Domingo's truck. Fortunately, we arrive before a line has formed for dinner.

The smell of chilies, cumin, and garlic fills my senses, reminding me of my mother's cooking. Funny enough, while my father always had an insult to throw my momma's way, he sure as hell devoured everything she made and even praised her for the meals. She would live off those compliments for days, and sometimes my dad would give her peace for days, too.

But not often.

“
Hola,
Hunter. Who is this beautiful woman you brought to me today?” he calls out.

Domingo is barely five feet tall with salt-and-pepper hair and an easy smile. He's also a huge flirt, and most women love the attention. However, Evangeline isn't most women.

“
Hola,
Domingo. This is my special friend, Evangeline. I told her all about your tacos. Please don't let me down.”