After We Collided (The After Series) (58 page)

“Between leaving here and going back home to England to ensure that Tessa has the life that she deserves, and driving over to Zed’s and fucking murdering him.”

“Where does she fit into the latter of those?”

I look at him and shrug. “I would make her come with me after I murder him.”

“That’s the problem here. You think you can make her do whatever you want, and look where that got you.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. I just mean . . .” I know he’s right, so I don’t even try to finish that thought. “But she’s with Zed—I mean, how did that even happen? I can’t fucking see straight thinking about it.” I groan, rubbing my temples.

“Well, maybe I should drive, then?”

Landon is so fucking annoying.

“Hardin, she stayed the night with him Friday and hung out with him all day Saturday.”

My vision literally goes black. “What? So . . . she’s just . . . so she’s dating him?”

Landon traces a pattern on the window. “I don’t know if she’s dating him . . . but I do know that when I talked to her Saturday she said she’d laughed for the first time since you deserted her.”

I scoff. “She doesn’t even
know
him.” I can’t believe this shit’s happening.

“Not to be a jerk, but you can’t ignore the irony of the fact that you were so obsessed with her being with someone like her, but she ends up seeing someone just like you,” Landon says.

“He’s nothing like me,” I say and try to focus on the road before I end up breaking down in front of Landon. I stay quiet the rest of the ride to my father’s house.

“Did she cry at all?” I finally ask when I pull up to the driveway.

Landon looks at me incredulously. “Yes, for a week straight.” Then he shakes his head. “Man, you have no idea what you’ve done to her, and you didn’t even care. You’re still only thinking about yourself.”

“How can you say that when I’ve done this for her? I’ve kept myself away so that she can move on. I don’t deserve her, you told me that yourself, remember?”

“I do, and I still mean it. But I also think she should be the one to decide what she deserves,” he says with a huff and gets out of my car.

JACE TAKES A PUFF
from his joint, then looks at it intensely. “I haven’t really been doing shit lately, just hanging out. Tristan barely comes around anymore; he’s stuck up Steph’s ass.”

“Hmm,” I murmur. I take a sip from my beer and look around his shit apartment. I don’t even know why I came here in the first place, but I didn’t know where else to go. I’m sure as hell not going back to that apartment tonight. I can’t believe Tessa is with Zed—
what the actual fuck.

And Landon wouldn’t call Tessa and trick her into coming back to my father’s house no matter how many times I tried to force him to. He’s a dick.

Still, I have to admit I admire his loyalty, but not when it stands in the way of what I want. Landon said I should allow Tessa to make the choice whether she wants to be with me or not, but I know what she’d choose. Well, I thought I did.

I was completely blindsided by Zed picking her up and having spent almost the entire weekend with her.

“What’s going on with you?” Jace asks me, his pot smoke blowing right in my face.

“Nothing.”

“I must say I was pretty surprised to have you show up at my door tonight after what happened the last time I saw you,” he reminds me.

“You know why I’m here.”

“Do I?” he taunts.

“Tessa and Zed. I know you know about it.”

“Tessa? Tessa Young and Zed Evans?” He smiles. “Tell me.”

He needs to wipe that goddamned smile off his face.

After I meet him with silence, he shrugs. “I don’t know anything about it, honest.” He takes another drag, and small flakes of the white paper fall onto his lap, not that he seems to notice.

“You’re never honest.” I take another sip.

“Yes, I am. So they’re fucking?” He raises a brow.

I nearly choke on my breath from his question. “Don’t fucking go there. Have you seen them together?” I breathe in and out slowly.

“Nope, I don’t know anything about them.” Jace puts his joint in the ashtray. “I thought he was dating some high school chick.”

I stare at a pile of dirty laundry in the corner of the room. “So did I.”

“So she ditched you for Zed?”

“Don’t mock me, I’m not in the mood.”

“You came here asking questions. I’m not mocking you,” Jace sneers.

“I heard they were together on Friday, and I wanted to know who was there.”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t, though. Don’t you two live together or some shit?” He takes his wannabe-hipster glasses off and places them on the table.

“Yes. Why do you think I’m so pissed about this shit with Zed.”

“Well, you know how he’s after what you—”

“I
know
.” I hate Jace, I really do. And Zed. Couldn’t Tessa have chosen Trevor to move on with? Holy shit, I never thought I would consider her being with Trevor a positive.

I roll my eyes and fight the urge to knock Jace through his coffee table. This is getting me nowhere, none of this is—the drinking, the anger, none of it.

“You’re sure you don’t know shit, because if I find out you do, I will kill you. You know that, don’t you?” I threaten, meaning every word.

“Yes, dude, we all know how psychotic you are over this chick. Stop being such a dick.”

“I’m just warning you,” I tell him, and he rolls his eyes.

Why did I start hanging out with him in the first place? He’s
a fucking slime ball, and I should have let our so-called friendship end with me beating his ass.

Jace gets up and does a slow stretch. “Well, man, I’m going to bed now. It’s four a.m. You can crash on the couch if you want.”

“No, I’m good,” I say and head for the door.

It’s four in the morning, and it’s cold outside, but I’ll never be able to sleep knowing she’s with Zed. At his apartment. What if he’s touching her? What if he spent this entire weekend touching her?

Would she fuck him to spite me?

No, I know her better than that. This is a girl who still blushes each time I slide her panties down her thighs. However, Zed can be pretty convincing, and he could have her drinking. I know she can’t handle alcohol—two drinks and she starts cursing like a sailor and trying to unfasten my belt.

Fuck, if he gets her drunk and touches her . . .

I make a U-turn right in the middle of the intersection and hope there are no cops around, especially since they’ll smell the beer on my breath.

Fuck this staying-away-from-her shit.
I may have been a dick to her, and I have treated her like shit—but Zed is far worse than me. I love her more than he, or any other man, possibly could. I know what I had now. I know what the fuck I had to lose—and now that I’ve lost it, I need it back. He can’t have her, no one can. No one except me.

Goddammit. Why didn’t I just apologize to her at the party? That’s what I should have done. I should have dropped to my knees in front of everyone and begged for her to forgive me, and we could be in our bed together right now. Instead I argued with her, and accidentally knocked her over when I was so mad I couldn’t tell who was who.

Zed is a fucking prick. Who the fuck does he think he is, picking her up from that party? Is he serious?

My anger is getting the best of me again. I need to calm down before I get there. If I stay calm she’ll speak to me, I hope.

By the time I get to Zed’s door, it’s four thirty in the morning. I stop and stand still for a few minutes in an attempt to calm myself down. Finally, I knock and wait impatiently.

Just as I’m about to turn my knocking into pounding, the door swings open, revealing Tyler, Zed’s roommate, who I’ve spoken to a few times when they had parties here.

“Scott? What’s up, man?” he slurs.

“Where’s Zed?” I push past him, not wasting any time.

He rubs his eyes. “Dude, you know it’s like five in the morning, right?”

“Nope, only four thirty. Where . . .” But then I notice the folded-up blanket on the couch. Neatly folded: a Tessa indicator. It takes a moment for my brain to connect to the fact that the couch is empty.

Where is she if she’s not on the couch?

Bile rises in my throat, and I lose the ability to breathe for the hundredth time tonight. I storm across the apartment, leaving a confused Tyler in my wake.

When I open Zed’s bedroom, it’s dark, near pitch black. I pull my phone from my pocket and switch on its flashlight. Tessa’s blond hair is sprawled out on the pillow under her, and Zed is shirtless.

Oh my fucking God.

When I find the light switch and flip it on, Tessa stirs and rolls over onto her side. My boot hits the edge of a desk with a loud thud. She scrunches her eyes shut and then opens them slightly to find the source of disruption.

I try to think of what to say as I process the scene in front of me. Tess and Zed in bed, together.

“Hardin?” she whines, and a frown takes over as she appears to wake up. She looks over to Zed before she looks up at me,
clearly shocked. “What . . . what are you doing here?” she asks frantically.

“No, no. What are
you
doing here! In bed with him?” I try my best not to shout, my fingernails digging into my palm.

If she fucked him, I’m done, completely and utterly fucking done with her.

“How did you get in here?” she asks, her face full of sadness.

“Tyler let me in. You’re in his bed? How could you be in his bed?”

Zed rolls over onto his back and wipes his eyes, then he pops up and sits ready, eyeing me where I stand in the doorway. “What the hell are you doing in my room?” he demands.

Don’t, Hardin. Stay still.
I have to stay fucking still or someone will end up in the hospital. That someone is Zed, but if I’m going to get her away from him, I have to stay as calm as possible.

“I came to get you, Tessa. Let’s go,” I say and reach my hand out, even though I’m across the room.

Her brow furrows. “Excuse me?”

Here comes the infamous Tessa attitude . . .

“You can’t just come to my apartment and tell her to leave.” Zed moves to get out of bed, and I see he’s only in loose gym shorts that sag down to show his boxers.

I don’t think I can stay calm.

“I can, and I just did. Tessa . . .” I wait for her to get off the bed, but she doesn’t move.

“I’m not going anywhere with you, Hardin,” she tells me.

“You heard her, man. She’s not coming with you,” Zed taunts me.

“I wouldn’t start that shit right now. I’m trying with every fucking fiber of my being not to do anything that I’ll regret, so just shut the fuck up,” I growl.

He throws his arms wide in challenge to me. “It’s my apartment, my bedroom at that—and she doesn’t want to go with you,
so she’s not. If you want to fight me, then go ahead. But I’m not going to force her to go if she doesn’t want to.” When he finishes, he gives her the fakest concerned expression I’ve ever seen.

I let out an evil laugh. “That’s the plan, though, isn’t it? You get me mad enough so I beat your ass, and she’ll feel bad for you, and I’ll be the monster who everyone is afraid of? Don’t buy into this shit, Tessa!” I shout.

I can’t stand the fact that she’s still sitting in his bed, and even more I can’t stand the fact that I can’t beat the shit out of him for it because that’s exactly what he wants.

Tessa sighs. “Just go.”

“Tessa, listen to me. He isn’t who you think he is, he’s not Mr. Fucking Innocent.”

“And how’s that?” she challenges.

“Because . . . well, I don’t know—
yet.
But I know he’s using you for something. He just wants to fuck you—you
know
this,” I tell her, struggling to keep hold of my emotions.

“No, he doesn’t.” She says it flatly, but I can see she’s getting angry.

“Dude, you should just go—she doesn’t want to leave. You’re making a fool out of yourself.”

When the words leave his busted lip, my body starts to shake. I have way too much anger that I need to let out.

“I warned you—to
shut the fuck up.
Tessa, stop being difficult and let’s go. We need to talk.”

“It’s the middle of the night, and you—” she begins, but I cut her off.

“Please, Tessa.”

Her expression changes as she hears my words, and I have no idea why. “No, Hardin, you can’t just come here and demand that I leave with you!”

Zed shrugs and nonchalantly says, “Don’t make me call the cops, Hardin.”

And that’s it. I take a step toward him, but Tessa jumps up off the bed and steps between us. “Don’t. Not again,” she begs, her eyes staring directly into mine.

“Then come with me. You can’t trust him,” I tell her.

Zed scoffs. “And she can trust
you
? You blew it, just face it. She deserves better than you, and if you would just let her be happy—”

“Let her be happy? With you? As if you actually want a relationship with her? I know you only want to get in her pants!”

“That’s not true! I care about her and I could treat her better than you ever did!” he shouts back in my face, and Tessa presses her palms against my chest.

I know it’s stupid, but I can’t help but revel in her touch, the way her hands feel against me. I haven’t felt her touch in so long.

“Both of you stop, please! Hardin, you have to go.”

“I’m not leaving, Tessa. You’re too naïve, he could give a shit about you!” I yell in her face.

She doesn’t even blink. “And you do? You were ‘too busy’ to call me for eleven days! He was there when you weren’t, and if . . .” she shouts, and continues shouting something at me, but right then I notice her clothing.

Is she? She isn’t . . .

I take a step back to find out for sure. “Are those . . . what the hell are you wearing?” I stammer and begin to pace back and forth.

She looks down, seeming to have forgotten her attire.

“Are those his fucking
clothes
?!” I nearly scream. My voice cracks and I tug at my hair.

“Hardin . . .” She tries to speak.

“Indeed they are,” Zed answers for her.