After We Collided (The After Series) (35 page)

“You can ride with me if you want. I’m going to Panera, but I can run you by Firehouse first. You shouldn’t walk in the snow,” he offers politely.

“You know? Panera’s good. I’ll just come with.” I smile, and we head to his car.

The heated seats in his BMW warm me up before we’re even out of the parking lot. At the eatery, Trevor and I stay mostly silent while we order our lunch and sit down at a small table toward the back.

“I’m thinking about moving to Seattle,” Trevor tells me as I dip a cracker into my broccoli soup.

“Really? When?” I ask loudly, trying to speak over the many voices of the lunch crowd.

“March. Christian has offered me a job there—a promotion to head of finance at the new branch—and I’m strongly considering taking it.”

“That’s really great news—congratulations, Trevor!”

He wipes the corners of his mouth with a napkin. “Thank you. I would love to run the entire finance department, and even more, I’d love to move to Seattle.”

We talk about Seattle for the rest of the meal, and by the time we finish, all I can think is
Why can’t Hardin feel the same about Seattle?

When we get back to Vance, the snow has turned to freezing rain and the two of us rush into the building. I’m shivering by the time we reach the elevator. Trevor offers me his suit jacket, but I quickly decline.

“So you and Hardin are seeing each other again?” he finally asks, a question I had been waiting for.

“Yeah . . . we are working through things.” I chew on my cheek.

“Oh . . . you’re happy, then?” He looks down at me.

I look up at him. “Yeah.”

“Well, I’m happy for you.” He runs his hands over his black hair and I know he’s lying, but I appreciate him not making this any more awkward than it already is. That’s part of his goodness, too.

When we step off of the elevator, Kimberly’s face holds a strange expression. I’m confused by the way she’s looking at Trevor, until I follow her eyes to where Hardin is leaning against the wall.

R
eally?
Really?
” I ask, my hands flying into the air dramatically.

Tessa’s mouth falls open, but no words come out as she looks at fucking Trevor, then back to me.
Goddammit, Tessa
. Anger courses through me and I begin to envision the multiple ways I want to beat the shit out of this boy.

“Thanks for lunch, Tessa. See you later,” Trevor calmly says before walking away.

When I look at Kimberly, she shakes her head in disapproval before grabbing a folder off her desk and leaving us alone. Tessa glares at her friend, and I almost laugh.

Tessa defends herself and walks toward her office. “We just got lunch, Hardin. I can have lunch with whoever I want to. So do not start with me,” she warns.

As soon as we’re both inside, I close and lock her door. “You know how I feel about him.” I lean against the wall.

“You need to be quiet. This is my job.”

“Internship,” I correct her.

“What?” Her eyes open wide.

“You’re not an actual employee, just an intern,” I say.

“So we’re back to this, then?”

“No, I was just stating a fact.” I’m an asshole: another fact.

“Really?” she challenges.

I clench my jaw and stare at my stubborn girl.

“Why are you even here?” she asks me and sits down in her chair behind her desk.

“I came to take you to lunch so you didn’t have to go out in the snow,” I say. “But it seems like you know how to get other guys to help you out.”

“It’s not that big of a deal. We went to eat and came right back. You need to calm down with the jealousy.”

“It’s not jealousy.” Of course it’s jealousy. And fear. But I’m not admitting that.

“We are friends, Hardin. Let it go and come here.”

“No,” I whine.

“Please?” she begs, and I roll my eyes at my lack of self-control as I walk over to her. She leans against her desk and pulls me to stand in front of her. “I only want you, Hardin. I love you and I do not want to be with anyone else, only you.” She stares at me with such intensity that I look away.

“I’m sorry that you don’t like him, but you can’t tell me who I can be friends with.” When she smiles at me, I try to hold on to my anger, but feel it slowly slipping.
Damn, is she good.

“I can’t stand him.”

“He’s harmless. Really. Besides, he’s moving to Seattle in March.”

Ice fills my veins, but I try to remain neutral. “He is?” Of course fucking Trevor is moving to Seattle—the place Tessa wants to be. The place I am not moving to and never will. I wonder if she’s thought about going with him?
No, she wouldn’t. Would she?

Fuck, I don’t know.

“Yeah, so he won’t be around. Please just leave him alone.” She squeezes my hands.

I look down at her. “Fine; fuck, fine. I won’t touch him.” I sigh.
I can’t believe I just agreed to let him get away with trying to kiss her.

“Thank you. I love you so much,” she tells me, her blue-gray eyes staring into mine.

“I’m still mad at him for trying to seduce you. And you for not listening to me.”

“I know, now be quiet . . .” She licks her bottom lip. “Let me set you at ease?” she asks with a shaky voice.

What?

“I . . . I want to show you that I love only you.” Her cheeks flush deep crimson, and her hands move to my belt as she stands on her toes to kiss me.

I am confused, angry—and incredibly turned on. She runs her tongue over my bottom lip. I groan immediately and lift her onto the desk. Her trembling hands fumble with my belt again, this time removing it. I lift the bottom of her ridiculously long skirt up to the tops of her thighs, thankful that she didn’t wear tights today.

“I want
you
, babe,” she breathes against my neck, wrapping her legs around my waist.

I moan at the way those words sound coming from her full lips, and I’m loving her sudden dominance as she takes control, tugging my jeans down my legs.

“Aren’t you?” I ask, referring to her period. “Yeah . . . you aren’t.”

She blushes and takes my length into her hand. I hiss, and she smiles while pumping slowly, too slowly.

“Don’t tease me.” I groan and she works her hand faster as she sucks the skin on my neck. If this is her way of making amends to me, I welcome her to fuck up more often. As long as it doesn’t involve her and another guy.

I pull her head back by her hair to look at me. “I want to fuck you.”

She shakes her head no, and a shy smile plays on her lips.

“Yes.”

“We can’t.” She looks toward the door.

“We have before.”

“I mean . . . because of . . . you know.”

“It’s not so bad.” I shrug. It really isn’t as bad as people assume it is.

“Is that . . . normal?”

“Yes. It’s normal,” I decree, and her eyes widen. Despite how shy she’s acting, her pupils are blown out, letting me know how bad she wants it, too. Her hand remains on me, slowly moving, and I spread her legs farther. I tug on the string of her tampon and dispose of it in the trash, then, moving her hand away, roll the condom on.

She climbs down, then bends over the desk, lifting her skirt up over her ass.

Fuck if this isn’t the hottest thing I’ve seen in my entire life, despite the circumstances.

A
nticipation builds as Hardin pushes the thick material of my skirt farther up my waist.

“Relax, Tess. Shut your mind off—it’s not going to be any different than it usually is,” Hardin promises.

I’m trying to hide my embarrassment as he slides into me; it doesn’t feel any different. Well, if anything, it actually feels better. More daring. Doing something so out of my norm, so taboo, makes it all the more exciting. Hardin’s hand runs down my spine, making me shiver in anticipation. His mood has totally shifted. Given his stance when I came out of the elevator, I had expected him to cause a much bigger scene.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

I nod, moaning in answer.

One of his hands digs into my hip as the other grips my hair, holding me in place. “You feel so good, so good, baby.” His voice is tight as he slowly drags himself in and out of me.

Hardin’s hand moves from my hair down to my breasts. He tugs at the neckline of my blouse, exposing my chest. His hand finds my nipple, tugging at it gently before he rolls it between his fingers. I gasp and arch my back as he repeats the action over and over.

“Oh God,” I utter, then clamp my mouth shut. I’m aware that we are in my office, but I can’t seem to worry in the way that I normally would. My thoughts begin with Hardin and end with
pleasure. The reality of this and the taboo around our act isn’t relevant to me right now.

“Feels good, doesn’t it, baby? I told you, nothing different . . . well, nothing different-bad, at least.” He moans and wraps his arm around my waist. I nearly slip from the edge of the desk as he changes positions, resting my back against the hard wood of my desk. “I fucking love you, you know that, don’t you?” Hardin pants into my ear.

I nod, but I know that he needs more.

“Say it,” he insists.

“I know you love me,” I assure him. My body is tightening and he straightens his back, bringing his fingers to rub over my clit. I lean up, trying to watch his fingers work their magic on my body, but the sensation is too much.

“Come, baby, go on.” Hardin picks up the pace and lifts one of my legs higher into the air.

His eyes roll back in his head. My release is so close, so intense, and so overpowering that I can’t see anything but stars as I grip his inked arms. I press my lips together, hard, to keep from calling out his name as I come undone. Hardin’s release isn’t as composed: he leans down, burying his head in my neck, calling my name once before pressing his mouth into my skin to silence his voice.

Hardin pulls out, places a kiss on my ear. I stand up and adjust my clothes, figuring I should get to the restroom soon.
God, this is weird
. I can’t deny that I enjoyed it, but it’s hard to get past the idea that has been so ingrained in my mind.

“Ready?” he asks.

“For what?” I say, my breathing ragged.

“To go home.”

“I can’t go home. It’s only two.” I gesture to the clock on the wall.

“Call Vance’s office on our way out. Come home with me,” Hardin instructs and grabs my purse from my desk.

“Though you may want to replug yourself before we go.” He pulls a tampon from my purse and taps me on the nose with it.

I swat his arm. “Stop saying that!” I groan, stuffing it back into my bag as he laughs.

THREE DAYS LATER,
I’m waiting patiently for Hardin to pick me up, staring out the large glass windows in the lobby, thankful that it hasn’t snowed of late. The only evidence of the snowfall from days before is the black sludge littering the dips in the sidewalk.

Much to my annoyance, Hardin has insisted on driving me to work every day since our fight over Trevor. I’m still surprised that I was able to calm him down the way that I did. I don’t know what I would have done if he’d assaulted Trevor in the office; Kimberly would have been forced to call security, and Hardin surely would have been arrested.

Hardin was supposed to be here at four thirty and it’s now five fifteen. Nearly everyone has left for the day, and multiple people have offered to give me a ride home, including Trevor, though he did say it from about ten dozen feet away. I don’t want things to be awkward between us, and I would still like to be friends, despite Hardin’s “orders.”

Finally Hardin’s car pulls into the lot, and I step outside into the chilling wind. It is warmer today than it has been, the bright sun adding a small amount of warmth, but not enough. “Sorry for being late, I fell asleep,” he tells me as I climb into the warm car.

“It’s okay,” I assure him and stare out the window.

I’m slightly nervous about New Year’s Eve tonight and don’t want to add fighting with Hardin to my list of stressors today. We haven’t decided what we are actually doing yet, which drives
me insane—I want to know the details and have the entire night planned.

I’ve been debating whether or not to reply to the text messages that Steph sent me a couple days ago. Part of me really wants to see her, to show her and everyone that they did not break me—though they humiliated me, yes—and that I’m stronger than they think. That being said, the other half of me thinks it will be incredibly awkward to see Hardin’s friends. I know they’ll probably think I’m an idiot for being with him again.

I won’t know how to act around them, and honestly I’m afraid that everything will be different when Hardin and I are not in our own small bubble. What if he ignores me the entire time, or what if Molly’s there? My blood boils at the thought.

“Where do you want to go?” he asks.

I had earlier mentioned that I needed something to wear tonight, so I say, “The mall is fine. We need to decide where we’re going so I know what to get.”

“Do you really want to hang out with everyone, or just go out, the two of us? I’m still rooting for staying in.”

“I don’t want to stay in, we stay in all the time.” I smile. I love staying in with Hardin, but he used to be out all the time, and sometimes I worry if I keep him in the house too much, he’ll get bored with me.

When we arrive at the mall, Hardin drops me off at the entrance to Macy’s and I hurry inside. By the time he joins me, I already have three dresses draped over my arms.

“What is that?” Hardin scrunches his nose at the canary-yellow dress on top. “That color is hideous,” he says.

“You find every color hideous, apart from black, of course.”

He shrugs at my truthful statement and runs his finger along the fabric of the gold dress underneath. “I like this one,” he says.

“Really? That was the one I was unsure about. I don’t want to stand out, you know?”

He arches his brow. “And you wouldn’t be standing out in yellow?”

He has a point. I place the yellow dress back on the rack and hold up a white strapless, then ask, “What about this one?”