After The Wedding (2 page)

Jessica is the only person I asked to help me select a beautiful wedding gown when the time came, not the traditional one but something suitable for an island nuptial near the ocean, and after trying several gowns, I found the perfect one, a soft white chiffon, off the shoulder, simple and elegant, floor length, that was tailored to fit by one of my staff designers.  I chose beautiful, tropical and exotic flowers forming a crown around my head, without a veil.  Something old was my mom’s pearl necklace that her mother wore, that was saved and given to her by her grandmother, something new would be a bracelet that my future husband would give me as a wedding gift; something borrowed were the beautiful shoes that Jessica would loan, just for the wedding, I picked them from her closet sometime back, she said they were here favorite, not to misplace them, and something blue would the garter around my thigh.  So, everything had been selected, except the right and deserving man.

CHAPTER 7

The wedding

I met the man of my dreams (Justin) sooner than later and could not help but think that my preplanning had something to do with it, not knowing what was lying ahead. Jessica was my maid of honor.  She said that she had hoped to be the matron of honor, but she would get there someday, even though it was not on my wedding day. It was a small but elegant wedding in Barbados, and included my parents, one of my sisters and Jessica.  Justin’s parents were afraid to fly, but sent their congratulations and love.  We celebrated until the wee hours of the morning, then everyone, except Justin and I, flew back home.  We wanted to stay a couple of days longer, to be completely alone without interruption.

I can’t remember eating a full meal during the last days on the island, only delicious fruits and cheeses, with champagne and lots of fine wines.  It was unbelievable, and at that time, I couldn’t imagine anything better.  I was truly completing my circle of happiness. Of course, I was happy all along, before marrying, but including someone you love to share your happiness is creating a beautiful new level in life.

CHAPTER 8

The
beginning of a new life together

Justin and I have just gotten back from our honeymoon in Barbados
after staying three beautiful days.  It was wonderful, just lying in bed after making wild and passionate love, with the wind blowing in from the perfectly blue ocean through the large open sliding door at the foot of our huge bed, that was surrounded with a soft white gauze type material that flowed back and forth, sending whispers in the wind, while lying there thinking about our late night walks on the beach, with a moon so bright, it seemed to sparkle, or were there just sparkles in my eyes for the love I felt for my new husband. I thought, “Can we make this last forever?”

Justin and I are truly meant for each other, we are actually husband and wife and I have no doubts about it; our marriage will last, because I will invest lots of love, time and effort to make sure that it does, because we love each other so very much, and I thought Justin would do the same, not knowing that I would be the only partner investing in our marriage. I never thought that I would meet someone who was not only a professional, but a well-known established, respected corporate and divorce attorney in private practice. What more could I want or ask for?  I knew I had the perfect man, in many ways. I thought to myself, I’m floating on pure love, and can’t come back down right now. I realized later that sometimes when you do come back down, reality can bite.

CHAPTER 9

Remembering when I met
Justin

When
Justin and I started dating, I remember thinking, what a match we make, which was a year and a half ago, a short time before I left my career to start my business. Even though we’ve been married only two weeks, I feel as though I’ve known him for most of my life, fitting like a hand in a glove. I know that it might seem a little crazy, but, it’s how I feel, and think it can only get better as time passes.

I met him when my friend Jessica and I decided to meet after work for a late dinner, after the happy hour crowd, and afterwards, continued for drinks to another favorite spot, to meet and mingle with other professionals. We thought it would be a new twist to an old song, which was for each of us to do the usual thing, work, go home and collapse. We would call each other and discuss what kind of dirt was circulating at work, if any, and what we had on our agenda for the next day, which was not very exciting for two young vibrant, available women, just waiting to be plucked by the right and deserving young man, somewhere out there.

CHAPTER 10

Meeting Jessica
& dating Justin

Jessica and I first
met when I moved to New York.  We work for the same manufacturer in different areas and departments.  She is a director in the production department. We often talked about marrying and having families, it was almost always our main topic after discussing work, which is what we were doing when a very handsome, very manly looking, in every way, over 6’2” tall, dressed in black slacks with a black silk tee that showed his firm biceps and broad upper body, with thick dark brown wavy hair, and from there, my eyes drifted to his lower half, and I could see clearly that he would not get jock itch, because he wasn’t a jockey man; it was boxers all the way for this one, seeing his private package sway back and forth as he walked in our direction. I closed my eyes tight for a moment and began to dream of the possibilities, and then he came up close in my personal space said, “hello, my name is Justin and I thought I heard you calling my name”, I opened my eyes, blushing, and said, “I didn’t think you could hear me, what took you so long”? All three of us began to laugh, showing his beautiful and perfect teeth. Then this perfectly, slightly tanned body, that had light hazel eyes, asked if he could pull up a chair and join us after apologizing to Jessica for what might have seemed like an intrusion of our privacy.  She smiled and said, “No problem”, and we enjoyed ourselves for the remainder of the evening without having to refresh my blush, because my cheeks were embarrassingly red throughout the night, as I constantly pinched myself.

However, before saying good night, Justin asked if he could give me a call sometime in the near future, I said yes before he finished, and had the number written down, just hoping that he would ask, but attempted to give me his number also, and I said it wasn’t necessary, “I’ll just wait patiently for your call”, we laughed again and said good night.  I dropped Jessica at her place and sat outside for a minute, to dream, then drove home. This is initially how our relationship began and it was a very good beginning that I did not want to end.

My life wasn’t routine anymore. I began leaving work and freshening up for a date with Justin.  I think my face had a new glow. He knew how to wine and dine, making me feel like the person I knew I always was, so deserving of the wonderful treatment.  We had picnics in the park, attended concerts, plays, movies, bike riding, canoeing , visiting from my place to his and lying in each other’s arms, just watching movies and sometimes enjoying quiet evenings; he joined me in church on several occasions, and no one had ever done this before. I never asked anyone and no one ever asked me. We could never keep our hands off each other. I suddenly found myself taking baths with a man I felt so comfortable with, lying in bed laughing and playing, even running around in his apartment in the nude, playing hide and seek me.  We even played strip poker and he won each time. I was finally enjoying my life the way I envisioned and felt almost full circle, with on minor detail missing that would happen, hopefully in the near future.

Since I had not allowed myself to unwind in the past, only having a few dates here and there and not devoting myself to a real relationship, I felt that I had been delivered and finally made it to where I wanted and needed to be (if only it could have remained in that special place).  It was like a fairy tale, but I was so full of stars in my eyes and the feeling of glitter surrounding me, that I was blinded, in another world and didn’t realize that, maybe fairy tales don’t last, or even exist. I am a highly intelligent person, but I’m constantly saying to myself, “Let this be true; I’m having the time of my life and have just let my hair down. I feel like dancing each and every day and not missing my workaholic lifestyle.

When we made love for the very first time, it wasn’t just plain old sex, to me; he made me feel like we had made a connection and that we were both in sync (if that makes sense) and in tune with each other, like, moving to the rhythm of our favorite song. It wasn’t as if we were making love for the first time, it was different, but it actually was the very first time. “So, is this what real, true love feels like?” He pressed his body so close to mine and his chest seemed to be glued to my breasts every time we made love. Over and over, I always repeated after Justin left, I’ve just been plucked!  I hit the mother lode! I couldn’t wait, I had to call Jessica and tell her that I had really, really found the perfect man. I never thought a man could be capable of making such love to a woman, as he did to me, or was I just sexually in need that I didn’t know the difference.

Anyway, I told her I had never felt like this before. We just laughed and laughed, until my stomach was full of cramps with tears streaming down my face, lying on the floor and Jessica was literally screaming and gasping for air over the phone. Oh, what a happy time in my life! We finally got off the phone, because neither of us could speak, just whining and laughing.  She and I saw each other the next morning and did the same thing, because Jessica said that she could not wait to meet someone like Justin, to give her the same feeling that I described, but said for right now, she would have to be satisfied using the shampoo that the girl in the TV commercial used, to get anywhere close to the same feeling, and quickly ran to our offices and closed the doors before someone heard us and the gossip began, starting with, “I thought they were professionals, where did it go?” My very calm response would immediately be, “Hello, but we were just individuals before becoming professionals.

Justin called regularly, but sometimes to ask if he could meet at my place and cook a small dinner for us. I thought I had met the best man on the planet, absolutely on the face of the earth, who could also cook very well (not knowing that this was all part of a plan). I wasn’t a push-over, but he knew he had me in the right place pushing all of the right buttons for what his ultimate plan was.  (Maybe he didn’t like independent women who could actually take care of themselves, but I didn’t know he had a plan, but eventually learned that he had a confidant who was involved also)   I had no idea that someone like me (a very caring and loving person) could be so disliked and ultimately be treated so cold and humiliated, for the sake of winning a bet. 

CHAPTER 11

Justin’s life

Justin said that his life as a child was nothing special or out of the ordinary.  His mom was an elementary school teacher, which made it easy for her to carry him to and from school. He wasn’t in his mother’s classroom, but in another, because, she felt if Justin was in her class, most or all of the entire school would know it, and the students in her class might think she showed favoritism toward him.  At the time, he said he thought he understood what she meant, because he might feel the same if another teacher taught her child in class.

His father was a laborer, who always told him to do better and always want and accomplish more.  Justin said he kept this in mind after finishing college and decided to attend law school.

I was surprised that
he confided in me very early during our dating period, I guess he felt the warmth and ease as I did, however, I didn’t confide in him so early, but it all worked out, so it seemed.

CHAPTER 12

At home, but something’s in the air

We are still unpacking and sorting out wedding gifts and what should go where. I’m taking my time, trying to find a place for every piece.  Justin is helping with the thank you cards that were custom printed before we left, to make it less stressful, a beautiful generic card with the exception of a blank line for handwriting in the type of gift received, to make it seem more personal.

I’ve observed, and noticed that within the past several days of getting home, (which is my place, because his was more of a bachelor pad and too small) he doesn’t have the same look that he had after we got married, during the honeymoon and when we first got home, or should I say when he carried me over the threshold (through the front door!).  I don’t know what happened during the week we got here.  I’ve just noticed that he’s coming home later than the usual time, which is about 6:00 pm, saying that he’s been working on a divorce client’s paperwork, or a corporate client’s contract.   I hope that my mind isn’t running away from me.  I’ll just give it the benefit of the doubt, at least for a while. After all, we’ve just gotten married, and I knew he was a very busy man before I said I do, the only difference was he actually made time for me, and seemed to put me first and foremost, and confided in me more about his business.  It seemed to have all changed in an instant and I’m really trying to make sense of it and the best of a seemingly not so good situation, hoping that it hasn’t taken a quick turn to the left, wondering, “Where is the man I married?” “Where is the man who couldn’t keep his hands off me?”