After the Storm: Clean Historical Western Cowboy Romance Novel (Dawson Chronicles Book 2) (13 page)

              “That’s a great idea, honey,” Joe said.

              By the end of the meal, all of them felt more optimistic about the fate of the Watering Hole.

              Horrific screaming made Switch and Hope bolt up in bed that night.  It was Renee.  Switch sped from their room, followed closely by Hope.  They collided with Skip and Jethro in the hallway.  It would have been comical if it had been for any other reason.  In his haste to get to his daughter, Switch shoved the boys aside, rushing to Renee’s bed.  He sat down and gathered her to him.

              “It’s all right.  Pa’s got you, honey.  It’s ok,” he said, rocking her.

              Renee clung to him, her body shaking with terror.  “They were here.  Right by my bed.  I don’t know where they went, but they were here.”

              “It was just a dream,” Switch said.  “They’re not here.  You’re safe.  It was just a dream.”

              Hope also sat on the bed.  “You’ve got three strong men here with you, sweetie.  You’re completely safe.  Here, take a little of this.”

              Renee took the laudanum and rested back in the bed.  “I’ll be all right now.  I’m sorry for disturbing all of you.”

              Jethro said, “No need to be sorry, sis.  We’re here to help you.”

              Skip said, “That’s right.  Move over.”

              “What are you doing?” Renee said, smiling.

              “I’m gonna stay with you for the rest of the night.  We used to do this all the time,” Skip said.

              She giggled, but then shifted over so that he could climb in with her.  When he lay down, they looked at each other and laughed.  The others smiled and Switch said, “You’re a little big for that now, but I think we’ll make an exception.” 
Anything to chase the nightmares away.

              Jethro left the room and returned with the bedroll he’d been sleeping on in his old room, which had been converted into a costume room.  “Might as well make it a sleepover,” he said, spreading the bedroll out.

              Renee said, “You don’t have to do that.”

              “I want to.”

              When Renee yawned, Switch and Hope kissed her goodnight and left her in the care of her brothers.

              Switch and Hope lay awake in their bed, however, unable to sleep.

              “I’m really proud of the boys,” Hope said.

              “Yeah.  I’m glad that our kids have always gotten along for the most part, unlike other families,” Switch said.

              Hope laid her head on his chest and he held her.  “I’m so worried about her, Switch.  She’s been so brave, but I think it’s really starting to hit her now.”

              “I know.  I wondered when it would.  That’s not something you just recover from quickly.”

              Hope sighed.  “No, it’s not.  All we can do is what we’re doing.”  She chuckled.  “Skip is so funny, climbing in bed with Renee like that.  Did you see her face light up, though?  And I could tell that she was happy to have Jethro there, too.”

              “Yeah.  They’re good brothers.”

              “Mmm hmm,” she mumbled.

              Switch smiled at her sleepy response and fell silent, letting her get some sleep since she had to work the next day.  He was wide awake now, which wasn’t unusual for him, but he didn’t get up the way he usually did.  He stayed there, holding his wife and remaining vigilant in case Renee needed him.

*****

              Renee not only had nightmares, flashbacks often took her by surprise.  She was afraid to leave the house and only went on short walks with one or more other people.  Black Fox came to see her almost every day and he’d brought her a dream catcher for over her bed.  She already had one that he’d made for her a number of years ago, but he said that an extra one couldn’t hurt.

              Jethro had had to return to New York even though he hated to go.  She’d insisted, saying that she wasn’t going to be the cause of his career suffering.  Someone also stayed with her at night, including Tim, who used Jethro’s bedroll.  Switch and Hope didn’t object because they completely trusted him and they knew that nothing untoward would occur between him and Renee.

              Tim also urged Renee to do things during the day to keep herself occupied.  She was physically healed by the middle of May, but the emotional strain was taking a toll on her.  She was tired because of her sleep being disturbed so much and it was hard taking naps.

              Tim tried to do everything in his power to help her, but there was only so much he could do, which frustrated him.  He wished that he could reach into her mind and pluck out all of the terrible memories that tormented her. 

              Renee had unexpected visitors one day.  Emily and Minx, Reckless’ sister, came to see her.

              Once they were seated in the parlor, Emily said, “Tim’s told us what a hard time you’re having and we want to help you.  We both know what you’re going through.  Now, in my case, it wasn’t as bad for me as it was for you, but it was still traumatic and I suffered terrible nightmares the same way you are.”

              Minx said, “I was raped by a soldier when I was eighteen winters old.  It is not an easy thing to deal with.  We wanted you to know that you are not alone and that you can talk to us whenever you need to.  Sometimes talking with someone who has had the same thing happen to you helps a great deal.”

              Renee’s eyes filled with tears.  “I didn’t know that you’d been raped, Minx.  I’ve heard the story about your experience, Emily, and I’m sorry that all three of us have this in common.”

              Renee hadn’t been able to relate the whole experience in detail before, but she felt safe enough in the presence of the other women that she told them the complete story of what had happened.  Minx and Emily moved over to the sofa with her, each holding one of her hands while she spoke.  She shook and cried as the words poured forth.  By the time she’d finished, she was exhausted, but she felt lighter. 

              Skip came home from school, bringing Joey and Snow Song with them, and the two women left then, promising to come see Renee again soon.  Renee was glad that her other friends weren’t awkward around her and they had a lively conversation about the upcoming school graduation.  As long as she had people around, Renee was able to fight off the intense fear and horrible memories, but as soon as she was alone, the terror returned. 

              That night, Tim stayed with her and the nightmare came to her, waking her with a start.  Looking towards the window, she saw them standing there and let out a whimper.  Thankfully, they faded away and there was only the window once again.

              “Renee?”

              Tim’s voice startled her and she jumped.

              “Hey, it’s ok.  It’s just me,” he said, sitting up.

              Fury gripped her, searing through Renee like a white-hot flame.  “Go home, Tim.”

              “Huh?  Why?”

              “Because you can’t keep staying with me.  Everyone needs to get on with their lives, including me.  I can’t keep hiding away like this, expecting people to sleep on my floor or in my chair!  People can’t stay home with me and I need to go back to work.  It’s been long enough,” she said.

              Tim said, “Honey, you’ll get back to all of that, but—”

              “No, Tim.  This ends now.  I won’t have it.  I won’t give them the satisfaction of cowering any longer.  I’m going back to work tomorrow and you need to sleep in your own bed from now on.  Everyone does,” she said, her voice rising.

              “Easy, Renee.  How about we just see how you do with staying by yourself before you go back to work?” Tim suggested.  “I understand—”

              “You
don’t
understand, Tim.  I love you and you’ve been nothing but kind, loving, and supportive, but you’ll never understand what I’ve been through,” she said.  “I’m not
me
, Tim, and I miss me.  You don’t know what it’s like to lose yourself.  I need to find that woman again.  So, after tonight, no more sleepovers, and I’m going back to work and going back to my apartment,” she said.

              “You can’t,” Tim said.

              “Yes, I can.  You watch me.  I’ll be all right,” she said.

              Tim shook his head.  “You can’t because Mrs. Bissinger rented it to someone else.  She needed the money, so she rented it again.  I offered to pay your rent and so did your pa, but she wants someone living in the apartment and we didn’t know when you’d be able to go back.”

              “See!” she shouted.  “They took that from me, too!”

              “Shh!  We’ll find you another place when the time is right,” Tim said.

              “I will not be quiet!  No one will keep me silent!  When Mitch finds them, I’m going to testify and tell the whole world what they did to me.  Every ghastly, vile thing,” Renee said, sitting up.

              The rest of her family came to her room.

              Renee grew angrier.  “Go back to bed!  And you need to leave,” she said to Tim.  “I can stay on my own now.  I’ll be fine.  I’m going to work in the morning, too.  I’m going to get my life back.  I’ll go back to work and find a little place again.”

              Hope said, “Honey, I don’t think you should be so hasty.”

              “I need to.  I’ll be in at my usual time,” Renee announced.  The room fell silent and she looked around at them all as understanding dawned.  “My job is gone, isn’t it?  You hired someone else?  How could you do that?”

              “I didn’t want to, Renee, but we had to.  We’ve been so busy lately and we needed someone to do the work,” Hope said.  Guilt and anguish filled her eyes.

              Renee’s hands fisted in her nightgown and she looked down at it.  Sudden hatred for the garment rose up.  “They’ve taken my apartment, which I loved.  They’ve taken my job, which I loved, but they won’t take anything else.  I swear to God, they won’t take anything else.  And I will never wear another nightgown again.  Do you know why?  I couldn’t get away because my legs got tangled up in it.  If I hadn’t been wearing it, I could have made it to the kitchen.  I could have reached the knives.  Maybe I wouldn’t have killed them, but I could have wounded them.  At least my chances would have been better.”

              Switch said, “Renee, let’s not discuss that right now.”

              “And you,” she said, fixing him with a glare filled with loathing.  “You accused me of being a whore.”

              “I did not,” Switch said.

              “Oh, yes, you did.  You warned men away from me because you thought I was sleeping with anything in pants.  I guess you found out otherwise, didn’t you?  I’m sure Marcus told you that I was a virgin until the night those animals raped me,” Renee said.

              Switch stepped closer.  “Renee, I’ve apologized for that, but I never thought you were a whore.  I was overprotective, but—”

              Renee launched herself off the bed at him, but Tim interceded, wrapping his arms around her from behind to prevent her from attacking Switch.

              “Get out of my sight,” she hurled at Switch.  “Get away from me!  You probably think this was my fault.  That’s what people think.  I did something to encourage them.  I deserved what I got.  Isn’t that right?”

              “No!  Never!  I would never think anything like that!” Switch said.

              “Yes, you did!”

              “Renee, you have to calm down,” Tim said.

              Hope tugged on Switch’s arm.  “Switch, just leave for now.  It’ll be all right.”

              “But I can’t have her thinking such a thing about me.”

              Skip said, “Pa, c’mon.”

              Switch looked at his son and then back at Renee.  The hate in her eyes broke his heart and he knew it was useless to talk to her any more.  He’d lost her.  Numbly, he walked from the room, going to his own.  He stood there for a moment before going back out into the hallway.  He heard the other three trying to calm Renee down.

              He went downstairs, put on his shoes and jacket, and went out into the cool night in only his long underwear.

*****

              Black Fox looked at the lone figure in the distance and sighed in relief and sadness.  He walked across the canyon where his tribe had stayed for a couple of years before the military had found them and forced them onto the reservation.  It was also where his first wife, Wind Spirit, had been laid to rest when she’d succumbed to meningitis. 

              He felt the spirits of many of his departed loved ones here in the canyon, where they’d been buried, including his brother He Who Runs’ and sister-in-law, Eagle Woman’s.  They’d been killed in the bloody battle that night.  Thrusting those memories away, the chief instead concentrated on the reason he’d come.

              Sitting down by Switch, he put a hand on his shoulder.  “You have been here for the past two days?”

              “Yeah.  I can’t go home and I knew if I went anywhere else, people would just try to make me,” Switch said.  “She hates me, Black Fox.  My little girl hates me.”