After The Snap (10 page)

The neighbors screamed, their voices audible over the TV he’d just turned on. A siren blared past on the interstate, adding to the noise. He sighed and dropped to the one chair he’d picked up with a rinky-dink little table he’d found at a thrift market, placing both to-go boxes on the flat surface. He opened the one with the food he’d ordered and then he opened Neil’s order. He took a bite of his pasta, then ate a bite from Neil’s food. A slow moan escaped his lips and he smiled. Not only did he have a delicious meal, he’d not succumbed to Neil’s charm, or actually lack of charm. He took another bite of the spaghetti and closed his eyes. He wanted sex, but he’d have to go out and brave the bars, finding someone to hook up with. That type of atmosphere wasn’t his favorite, but he’d do it because love wasn’t something he ever wanted to do again.

Chapter Six

Seth’s focus changed, no longer did he think about Channing. Everything was football. He became the guy on the team everyone wanted to be. It was like everything he touched turned to gold. Every pass connected. Every run was good. In practice he could do no wrong. In the preseason games, he was magic. If they gave him field time, he either threw a pass and the Chargers scored, or he handed the ball off to someone who scored. He was the guy. The one the coaches smiled at after practice. The hazing for being a rookie on the team lessened the better he played.

They were close to the start of regular season and everyone was getting antsy. They’d cut a couple of guys, but they still had more to cut. With his wins he felt good, but there was still a little fear. After practice, he took a quick shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. The locker room was a rowdy place, and he tried to stay out of the fray, acting in a more clinical manner so he didn’t get in trouble by staring at a guy a few seconds too long. He showered, got dressed, and left. Some of the guys hung out, sitting around in their underwear, scratching their balls, and shooting the shit as they wound down before going home, but that wasn’t his thing.

He was at his locker, facing away from the other guys while pulling on his underwear when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Panic flashed and he spun, finding Wayne with a huge grin on his face.

“Hey, Seth, how’s it been?”

“Good. I was just going to head out to—”

Wayne held up his hand, cutting him off. “No, listen, the guys on the offensive line want to grab some food. Come with us. We’ll hang out, get to know each other. It will be fun.”

Seth checked his phone, hesitating before answering. “I don’t know, I….”

“Come on, it’ll be great.”

He swallowed over his trepidation and smiled. He didn’t really have anything else to do, and he wanted to spend more time with the guys on the team. His old habit of hiding everything, his sexuality, his affair with Channing, had him avoiding every get-together with the guys. Seth shrugged, caving to their request. “Sure.”

“Okay, just real quick, could you go around the corner and tell Will you’re coming with us?” Wayne flashed his smile again and winked.

Seth nodded, and for some stupid reason, maybe the smile Wayne had shot him, he felt the need to please the man. Hell he’d always been a sucker for nice smiles so he moved away from his locker, turning the corner and walking into the area where the showers were located.

The guys jumped him, laughing as they held him against the wall. Thomas and Gus, both offensive linemen, had his arms, and there was a hand at his back. He glanced over his shoulder, seeing Adrian’s sexy smile. His running back was freaking hot, but he couldn’t think that way, not when he was nearly naked with guys holding him down. Seth stilled. Struggling under a bunch of guys, no matter how much he tried to ignore their muscles and their scent, it wouldn’t end well for him or his dick.

“Funny guys, now let me go,” Seth said.

“Not before we take away some of your beauty because you’re too pretty to be on the field with us,” Adrian said.

“Those curly black locks are going to get you in trouble out there so we’re going to help you,” Gus barked out on a laugh.

“Guys on the other team be thinking you were some chick with hair like that,” Wayne said.

Seth froze. Did they know? Could they possibly have any idea he was gay? “Hey, that’s not necessary.”

“Oh, but it is,” Will said.

Seth heard the buzzing of the clippers and knew he could struggle and possibly get a cut on his head, or he could just go with it. No one had said anything about him being gay, only that they were cutting his hair.

“Get me a chair so you can do a good job.”

“Damn it, Seth, you’re supposed to be putting up a fight and make us hold you down,” Wayne complained. The guys chuckled and he shrugged.

Will had already started on one stripe and Seth stared at the floor where his black curls lay twisted together on the ground. Channing had loved his hair, loved weaving his fingers in the strands as he fucked Seth’s face or rode him. He would tug at Seth’s hair, telling him how pretty he was. Yeah, it was better that it go. He could grow his hair out in the off season if he wanted, but he saw this as just another part of making a clean break from his past. In the rest of his life he was cleaning things up too, getting rid of the old and starting fresh. He only wished he’d been the one to think of this.

The buzzing of the clippers turned off and he spun around. “Aren’t you going to finish?”

“What’s the point?” Will shrugged. “You want to get your hair cut.”

“Just give them to me,” Seth tried to take the clippers from Will but Wayne grabbed them instead.

“I’ll finish it out and then we can go to dinner, though you’re probably going to need another shower.”

Wayne buzzed his head, getting rid of the rest of his hair. After Seth showered again, washing away the little flecks of hair that dotted his shoulders and back, he dressed quickly, then moved to the sink to wash his hands. The reflection caught him off guard. With his hair gone, he didn’t look like himself.

Will came up behind him and saluted. “You look like a jarhead.”

He rolled his eyes. “I like it.”

“Dammit, you’re no fun. You’re supposed to be angry and hate it.”

This time Seth laughed and turned to face Will. “Thanks.”

“God, you are impossible. You aren’t supposed to thank me. Come on, we’re hungry.”

They razzed him terribly throughout the meal about his lack of hair. Adrian started calling him buzzy. Gus laid it on strong, teasing him about women, and Seth let him, because now was not the time to tell this group of men that he was gay. When the waitress came into the private room they were dining in and took their orders, they made a big deal about Seth being single. His face heated and he knew he was blushing, the waitress was a good sport, but he was terribly embarrassed.

The other guys ordered the most expensive things on the menu, along with appetizers. He wasn’t used to ordering big and chose a moderately priced steak and no appetizer. He also ordered a cheap beer, not wine or the expensive liquor the other guys were tossing back.

As the dinner went on, even more expensive wine was poured and drinks were consumed like tea. He liked this group of guys, but they were wild. The private dining room with solid doors blocking their noise from the rest of the restaurant saved them from being kicked out. At the end of the meal, after they’d ordered dessert along with more drinks, Will came up to him and handed him the check.

“Here you go, it’s yours to pay.” The gleam in Will’s eyes was enough to make him pause.

He’d heard of guys doing this type of crap on other teams, but he hadn’t expected it today. Maybe he should have put up more of a fight about the hair. Part of him wanted to tell them to fuck off, but he kept his cool. Seth opened the leather check holder and stifled the gasp that threatened to erupt.
Thirty-eight thousand dollars.
He didn’t have that kind of money, not in any one place, and he sure as hell didn’t have a credit card to charge the tab to. Sure, he’d been paid a bonus, but he’d used that money to pay off his parents’ mortgage and to replace his mom’s old car that barely got her across the city. Maybe it had been stupid of him to spend most of his cash, but he’d wanted to take care of his parents and he wasn’t used to spending big so he wasn’t really giving up anything by helping them.

Gus, Thomas, and Edmond, his linemen, stood and started to leave the private room. Adrian and Ben, one of his receivers, thanked him for dinner then left the room. Pete, and Will patted him on the back before exiting. Will and Wayne left after smoothing their hands over his now shaved head.

Blake, the starting quarterback, stopped and shook his hand. “In a few years, you’ll be responsible for this group. It’s time you start taking care of them now.”

He smiled and nodded, all the while holding back his anger. Seth thought he was going to have to go to the manager and tell him a sad story so he could figure out a way to pay the bill. He didn’t have this type of money yet. Eventually all of the bonuses and mid season paychecks would come in, but with taking care of his parents’ bills, closing on his condo, and buying furniture for his new place, he didn’t have the money.

Seth held it together. He wasn’t going to crack and act like an ass, not right now, not at this point in his football career. This wasn’t high school, and it wasn’t college, this was a job. The guys were just doing the rookie treatment, but he wouldn’t break. As the last of his teammates walked out, his heart sank.

The waitress came in, eyeing him skeptically. He bit his lower lip, wondering what the fuck he was going to tell her when Wayne, one of the receivers, stepped back in to the room, a huge smile on his face. Ben, Blake, and Will leaned into the room, laughing like crazy. Then everyone was there, laughing and slapping him on the back, or rubbing his head. Turned out, they’d asked the waitress to pad the bill. It wasn’t thirty-eight thousand, only eleven thousand dollars owed for the meal. The amount of money they’d spent still freaked him out, but all of the guys tossed cash in a pile in the center of the table, making it so he didn’t even have to pay the tip. He gained a new understanding of his team that night. These guys liked to joke around, but they weren’t assholes.

Seth went home that evening, wondering what they’d all say if they knew he was gay. Dating wasn’t even on his radar, and he hadn’t even contemplated talking to Channing. The man had screwed him over and he couldn’t go back to being treated that way. Maybe he’d be one of those gays who didn’t ever date. He entered the lobby for the high rise he lived in and sighed. He loved this place. It wasn’t too ritzy and he didn’t have a doorman who would see his comings and goings. There was video surveillance, and if he ever chose to bring a guy home, they would have to be careful, but this place was good. Though he was alone, it wasn’t too bad. Football took up much of his time, and for now, he was okay with that.

During the first regular season game he didn’t see any time on the field. It was maddening watching the team fall behind again and again only to score, then have the lead taken away. He wanted to be out there helping the guys, but he wasn’t the starting quarterback. The Chargers won by a miracle and three points.

Over the next few weeks he ate, slept, and played football, nothing else. Once during the week, maybe Wednesday, or Thursday, he would jack off, but otherwise he ignored his dick. No more pranks were played on him, but he did go out and purchase a razor to keep his hair trimmed short. It turned out that he really liked having the near military cut.

The fourth game of the regular season he suited up, getting ready like he would be on the field but knowing he wouldn’t see any play. It was tough keeping a positive attitude when he saw no field time. Ten minutes into play his team had the ball but were already down by seven. His palms were sweating and his heart racing. Excitement coursed through him though he was lining the field with the rest of the team. Blake caught the ball from the center and ran back three paces before cocking his arm for a pass. It would have been beautiful, but the guys on the offensive line didn’t hold the defensive players. One of the opposing team’s players broke through and rushed Blake, taking him down with a solid hit. It was clean, but somehow Blake fell wrong, landing on his shoulder. Seth swore the snap was audible.

The crowd groaned.

Players groaned.

Seth groaned.

All eyes on the sideline turned to Seth. Time stood still as realization dawned. His heart was thudding so hard he thought everyone could see it beating under his pads and uniform. Blake had broken his arm and now it was up to him to get out there and win this thing. The head coach caught his gaze and nodded once before running onto the field to meet with the medics.

Play had stopped, the crowd quieted, and he was going to have to go in. He couldn’t focus on Blake, couldn’t think about the pain the guy had to be going through as he screamed and rolled, kicking his feet up in the air as people tried to calm him. The break was bad, but if Seth concentrated on Blake’s injuries, he would fail. The best thing he could do for Blake was win the game.

Every thought from here on out had to be about being on the field and in the game. There wasn’t another backup quarterback, he was it, and they were playing against the Packers, one of the best teams in the league. He was on, and he had to play well.

Cameras clicked as they followed him. People would either cheer or jeer based on what he did. The pressure was on since the Chargers were behind. He would have to be amazing to pull them out of this hole. No question, Seth knew winning this game would set the tone for the rest of the season—hell, maybe even for the rest of his career, and so would losing.

Blood roared in his ears and his heart pounded. He tried to draw in a breath, but the air seemed to disappear from the stadium. Could he actually breathe, or was this as good as it would get?

His offensive coach, Maddox, stood in front of him and put his hand on Seth’s chest, thumping his pads. Seth held Maddox’s gaze, searching for something that would anchor him. He couldn’t think about Blake’s injury, or the fans who loved Blake. He needed to concentrate on what he was going to do, how he would deal with this situation. Seth had played enough preseason action to know what was needed, but this wasn’t preseason. This was the real deal for the Packers and for him. He had to get this right.