After the Hurt (6 page)

She didn't need to turn around to know he was looking at her. She could feel it. The heat of his gaze burned between her shoulder blades like a fiery sun. Warmth radiated across her back, over her shoulders, and settled in her breasts. Being so close to him was lethal. It didn't matter how hard she tried to ignore her attraction for him; she couldn't. Their pheromones were perfectly harmonized. Could he sense it too?

She had to stop being so weak. Sucking in a soft breath, she faced him and stood. Pulling the duffel's strap over her head, it gave her a free hand to balance the bag on her hip and free up her other hand. The muscle at the corner of his mouth twitched. Was he trying not to laugh?

“I'll be back.”

“Thanks for the warning.”

Pepper flashed him a withering look and dragged the suitcase along the floor and in front of the only other door at the end of the hall. She bent over and let the strap fall from around her neck. Sliding the key into the lock, she pushed the door open and used the bag to prop it. Pepper trudged back down the hall for the wrapped sandwich, then picked up the remains of the other. Tank still lounged with his shoulder against the wall, legs crossed and the toe of one shoe balanced on the scarred wooden floor. He watched her with a half-smile on his lips.

She wanted to kick his smart-ass foot out from under him and watch him topple in a heap. “Hmph,” she muttered. “Thanks for the help.”

“Anytime.”

She nearly exploded out of her skin when his hand whipped out and grabbed her wrist, once again scattering food all over the floor. She flashed him a look of annoyance, and the next thing she knew he had her pulled against his wall of a chest. Her breath froze and his arms gripped her like iron bands.

“You need an attitude adjustment.” His voice was low, husky, and totally sexy. She melted. “And I know just how to do it.”

Tank lowered his face until she could see every flick of light reflected in his eyes. He was mere inches away and his clean, spicy scent washed over her. Pepper's eyelids fluttered with the impact of his closeness and she inhaled, taking in his essence and breathing him in until he seeped into every fiber of her being. Memories flooded back and Pepper opened her eyes to meet his gaze. Had she pushed him a little bit too far? No way would she ever be afraid of him, but she was troubled by what he thought of her.

She didn't want to pull away. Her fingertips rested on his biceps and she curled them into his corded muscles, hoping it hurt, like his grip was hurting her. His hold on her brought a rush of pleasure. And she didn't care if he marked her with purple dots of bruising. It would be like a brand, making her his. Again. Tank's lips tightened, but he didn't lessen the pressure, his gaze pinning her to the spot.

“You're hurting me.”

“You never complained before.” His voice was soft, totally belying the power exuding from him.

“Yes, but that was when we were together,” she whispered, pointing out the obvious and waiting to see what he would say. Good lord, how she wanted him back. She needed him, and the both wild and tender sex they used to have, in her life. He was the only man who had ever fully unwrapped her, delving deep down inside to discover who she really was. With no judgment. Until recently.

“Hmm, I see.”

His quiet words were enough to wet her panties for him and she moaned. He oozed confidence unlike anything she'd experienced before and her insides churned. She couldn't tell if he was mad, but she knew damn sure he was turned on. His cock pressed against her—hard, thick, and demanding—making her legs wobble. “That was then. This is now,” she peeped, feeling the urgent need to fill the quiet with useless talk.

“Really? Why don't we test it?”

After taking her hand in his, he snaked his arm behind her back, pushing it up until a flash of pain made her eyes widen. Desire rolled on top of itself until she was shaking. He dragged her closer. They were flush, shoulder to hip. Pepper felt every delicious muscle and bulge of him.

A small “Oh!” came from her parted lips seconds before his mouth crashed down on hers. When his tongue touched her lips she opened, letting him delve deep, probing and seeking, sweeping around her mouth as if he wanted to be inside her.

Pepper melted into him, opening wider so he could have his way. God help her, she couldn't stop herself. She wanted no barriers, to have him slide inside, fill her with his passion. Finally, he showed a glimmer of the Tank she knew and she received him. His fire rolled over her like a thunderclap. He plundered her, and any hesitation or reservation she may have had was stripped away.

The tips of her breasts ached and rose to tight buds, longing for his attention. Liquid flames licked from her center and crept along her tingling flesh to the ends of her fingers and toes.

Tank shuffled her backward until the doorjamb halted them. He let go of her arms and took hold of her face, holding her in place. Pepper wrapped her arms around him, never wanting to let him go again. His erection prodded her belly. How she wished he was shorter or she was taller. She throbbed and ached for him, humming to life between her thighs until she lost her sense of control. Thought fled and she had no willpower over the way her hips tipped, inviting him closer. Or the moan that came from deep in her throat. She wrapped her leg around his and pulled him toward her. His hard length seared her so intimately, her muscles quivered with delight.

Tank groaned into her mouth and increased the ferocity of his kiss, thrilling her. Their tongues tangled and danced. Their panted breath filled the hallway. She responded to him and he to her. She was born for this man and no one else.

Being back in his arms closed up the crack in time of their separation. It was like she'd never left. Her head fell back when he released her mouth to trace a fiery trail with his tongue along her cheek to the sweet hollow beneath her earlobe. When he pressed his lips there, her legs gave way and he held her, supporting her in his powerful arms.

“Ahh, Tank.”

A deep chuckle rumbled from his chest and she thrilled. Through the rushing sound of her blood in her ears, Pepper vaguely heard footsteps in the stairwell. It broke through her erotic haze and she opened her eyes just as Tank pulled back. His breath ragged and eyes heavy lidded, he watched her when she licked her lips so she could capture and retain his taste. His barely audible groan sent goose bumps along her arms.

The door creaked as it was pulled open, drawing their attention from each other. Tank stepped back, rubbing his palm over his head. The stairwell door opened and a petite, dark-haired woman walked into the hall.

Pepper narrowed her eyes and stared at her. It was the same woman in the photo that Tank had put away. So. He did have a girlfriend. She swung her gaze to him. His face had shuttered closed. She was unable to read his thoughts as he stared at the woman approaching them.

The woman stopped dead in her tracks, holding bags of groceries and staring at them without saying a word.

“Ah, shit.” Tank's voice was so low Pepper barely heard him. A moment ago she couldn't tell what he was thinking and then his face was thunderous. She looked back at the woman. Pale hazel eyes settled on Pepper. A flash of resentment was covered up by an impassive sweet smile.

The hair on the backs of Pepper's arms stood up. She'd learned quickly to assess people after traveling solo. It had been a matter of survival. Most of the time, she'd been correct and she learned to trust her instincts. Right now, they told her there was something not right about this woman.

“Tank, who's your friend?” the woman asked and jiggled a bag. “Can you help, please?”

Tank glanced at Pepper and sent her a warning look. He wanted her to keep quiet. Normally she wasn't one to obey on command, but this time she thought she'd ride it out and see what transpired. Raising her eyebrows, she lifted a shoulder in innocence. Pepper was interested in seeing Tank's mannerisms. He met the woman halfway and took the bags. He stiffened when she presented her cheek for a kiss and stepped away from her, not doing as she bid.

Seriously?
Pepper crossed her arms, cocking a hip. She gave this chick a good once-over. Pepper held her ground when the woman stopped in front of her and tipped back her head. They stared into each other's eyes. The smile on the other woman's face contradicted the cold look in their hazel depths.

“Are you coming or going?” Her voice was nasally and high-pitched.

Very annoying, Pepper decided.

“Coming, actually.” Pepper's lips curved into a smile and she held the bitter gaze. Tank had gone inside to deposit the bags but was back in a hurry. She reached out her hand to the woman. “I'm Pepper.”

The small, quick intake of breath from the other woman wasn't what Pepper expected.
She knows who I am.

“Nice to meet you, Pepper. I'm Olivia.”

They pressed fingers briefly. Olivia stepped to Tank's side, sliding her arm around his waist in a blatant show of possession. Pepper took an imperceptible step back. Just moments before, he was kissing her senseless and now this chick was hanging off him. She sent him a WTF glance.

He stepped from Olivia's grip and took Pepper's elbow. “Ladies, now that the intros are done,” he looked at Pepper, “I'll show you the loft.”

She waved him off. “I'm fine. You have company.”

She turned her back and the flesh between her shoulder blades tightened. She bet Olivia would love to bury a knife right between them. Pepper held her breath as she walked to the loft door, hoping to catch their conversation. Just before she stepped inside she heard Olivia's voice. “You can't be serious! You can't let her stay in here.”

Then their door closed, muffling any more of the possibly ensuing argument. Pepper pushed her stuff inside and shut the door. She leaned against it, closing her eyes. The hush around her was welcome. It calmed her tattered nerves and eased her upset over this new development. Only the low hum of the refrigerator broke the silence. Sucking in a deep, ragged breath, she willed her heart to settle back down into a regular beat. Tank had nicely wound her up thanks to that toe-curling kiss. How far would they have gone if Olivia hadn't arrived?

It had been less than twenty-four hours, and she'd been exposed to Tank only twice, and already she was unraveling. He was such a sweet temptation. For a moment she thought maybe…oh, forget it. His girlfriend showed up just in time. Now she couldn't let him continue to tempt her—she wouldn't be the other woman. God help her, she was just as responsible as he for letting things get carried away, even if he was the one who instigated the kiss. The pang of guilt was very unwelcome. He'd kissed her first! She'd never known him to be unfaithful when they were together and it made her sad to think he may have turned into a player. Pepper sighed and opened her eyes to look around, hoping for a diversion to keep her from thinking about Tank.

She gasped with delight.
Heaven.
He'd really done a good job with the little space. It was spectacular. Light from the midday winter sun bathed the room in a yellow-gold glow. She rushed to the windows and opened the California blinds. Turning around to view the room, she clapped her hands with pleasure. The room was small but stunning. Wooden furniture in a variety of styles, most painted white, and a few antiques carefully restored to a natural honey tone accented the room. Various shades of blue were the central theme. Periwinkle walls were set off with white baseboards and window trim. A series of rag rugs in blues, whites, and sands were scattered over the highly polished oak floor.

Even a fireplace tucked in the corner between the windows and wall looked like an outdoor beach fire pit ringed with boulders. And the kitchen. Pepper clapped her palms together again and bounced on her toes. It was wonderful.

She looked into the room beside the kitchen, a cozy little den decorated in a seaside theme as well, with more antiques and a desk. The far wall held a huge painting of a pelican buzzing over the waves. Had he hung that for her, knowing how much she loved pelicans?

She turned around and walked across the living room to a large bedroom. The king-size bed looked so inviting that she wanted to jump in. Double-slatted wood pocket doors opened to a wonderful to-die-for walk-through closet to a stunning en-suite bathroom. Everything took her breath away.

“Wow. What a place,” Pepper marveled. “I might never want to leave.” She wandered back to the living room and down the hall, discovering a second bedroom, a bathroom, and an office.

Back in the living room, Pepper flopped into a jumble of multicolored pillows on the overstuffed sofa. She ran her hands over the heavy, cotton, seashell-white fabric and smiled. Here, in the midst of a snowy Canadian winter, this room transported her to a seaside oasis. Exactly what the doctor ordered. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard to get used to the frigid Northern Hemisphere if she stayed in this apartment. Pepper looked around and smiled. She'd fallen in love with it. Just like that.

Sighing with contentment, she felt as if she'd traveled back in time to when they'd rented a beach house on Long Island, one of the outer islands in the Bahamas. It had been idyllic. They'd wanted to stay there and leave the crazy world behind them. To never come back. But of course they'd had to, and that's when everything changed.

Tank had copied the decor from that beach house. For the first time since she landed yesterday, she relaxed and let herself melt into the pillows. Memories washed over her and she zoned out, bringing the trip to the Bahamas back in delicious detail.

Droning voices interrupted her musing. Was it coming from the restaurant downstairs or Tank's apartment? She sat up and cocked her head to listen. It had to be Tank and Olivia talking next door. No matter how hard she strained, their voices were too muffled through the ancient thick walls to hear exactly what they were saying.
Are they talking about me?

“I don't know why you're letting her stay there.” Olivia faced Tank and stuck her hands on her hips.

“Olivia, what is your problem? I made it clear last night you were not to come back. Ever. Yet, here you are. And I don't want you texting me, either.” He couldn't believe it when she'd sent him a heart a little while ago when he was with Pepper. He was at the end of his rope. He'd had about enough of being told what to do and being thrown into situations he wanted no part of. The only highlight was the interrupted kiss. He was burning for Pepper, and Olivia turning up, while most unwelcome in the heat of passion, was likely the best thing. It helped to chill his desire for Pepper.

Olivia blew out an exasperated breath and waved her arm in the direction of the loft. “It's—I—I don't…she just shouldn't be there.”

She kept pacing and he was unmoved. She had to accept that they were done, and had never started to begin with! “Olivia. Understand—there was never an
us.
I'm done, finished; leave me alone now and forever.”

She stopped mid-pace and looked at him, but her gaze seemed way out in space, almost like she wasn't seeing him at all. “Well, you shouldn't have a strange person staying there—”

“She's not a strange person.”

“She is to me!” She started to chew on her nail with the vacant look still in her eyes.

He shook his head, bewildered. “This is none of your concern, Olivia. Time for you to go. Again. You are the only one who shouldn't be here—ever, do you understand?” He ushered her to the door.

She was even more wild-eyed and crazy looking. Holy shit, was she going psycho on him? He regretted the day he met her. His buddies pushed him, after a few drinks, to ask her out, and from that first date he knew Olivia was too much drama. Their third date had been a huge mistake. He'd taken her to a charity dinner and she'd hung all over him. It had been an embarrassment. It was that night he'd ended it and the night he knew he was not truly over Pepper even if he did tell himself he was.

“She's the one, isn't she? The one who left you? The one who ruined you for other women?”

Tank's eyebrows furrowed. “That's none of your business.” But it rang true. Yes, Pepper had left him and in this one clarifying moment he realized she
had
ruined him for any other woman. It was only her. Pepper. She was his first love, his only love, and she'd thrown it away. A shooting pain deep in his heart wasn't what he wanted to feel. Not now or ever, and it depressed him to think that he might never find a love like theirs again.

“I see.” Olivia looked up at him. He couldn't read any expression in her eyes so her next words confused the hell out of him. “I'm so sorry, Tank. It simply took me by surprise to see her. I best get the groceries put away.”

She rose onto her tiptoes and gave him a peck on the cheek, but he gripped her arm and shoved her away. She repulsed him and made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

“You are leaving. Now.”

Time was crawling by and Pepper was close to bursting with boredom. Trying to occupy herself, she moved some pictures around, changed the furniture, and hauled a nice big piece from the den into the wonderfully large en-suite bathroom. The whole time she was on high alert for sounds from next door.

She'd also reorganized the kitchen cupboards and was surprised to find familiar pieces stashed in the back corner of a lower cupboard. Mismatched antique dishes they'd bought in St. Jacobs market a long time ago. Why had he squirreled them away like that? She placed them on the counter instead of leaving them in the dark corner.

By the time she was done making it a little homier, Pepper had found a few other things he'd stashed, including an old sweater she had bought for him and often worn herself. Tank had joked that she hadn't really bought it for him at all. He'd been right. She had bought it for herself. She smiled at the warm memory. She held the sweater up to her nose and balled her fists in its cozy warmth. The fleece still held a slight scent of his cologne. She couldn't help her hurt feelings when she found these items tucked away. It was like their history was disposable or something. She placed the sweater on her bed and smoothed the wrinkles with her palms. Pepper realized now that she hadn't thought how her leaving would impact their relationship. She'd given no consideration to whether it would be put on hold or if he'd wait for her while she worked out her issues. But then, not talking to him while she'd been away hadn't really helped the situation. God, if she could have a do-over! So many things she'd do differently.

After a long afternoon, she'd finally made the loft comfortable, though her bags were still unpacked in the bedroom. She wasn't ready to tackle that yet. It was a shock to see how late it was. No wonder she was starving and exhausted. When she caught a whiff now and then of food cooking, it nearly drove her mad with hunger. There was nothing she could make to eat until she went shopping. The sandwich long gone, she pined for the other part she'd dropped on the floor.

Pepper was tempted to knock on Tank's door and invite herself for dinner and, more important, ask why he had hid all those things she'd found. That would twist ol' Olivia's knickers in a knot to be sure. But she wasn't in the mood for conflict. There would be enough of that in the days to come.

She glanced out the window and shivered at the blowing snow. It would take her a while to get used to this weather. The thought of going out in it didn't appeal to her at all. But she would have to soon to get her ID replaced. That thought was totally depressing, which called for a glass of wine. Something from the restaurant downstairs would be just perfect. She was drawn like a magnet too, not just for the food, but to see how it operated. She'd seen the grand opening signs earlier. He must have had a soft opening a while ago and planned the big event for later. Excited about that, she smiled.
Perfect timing.
She would see if there was anything she could do to help out. It wasn't like her to be frivolous and waste time anymore. She nodded firmly. Yes, she'd find something.

She quickly freshened up, changed, and then dashed into the hall, pausing briefly at Tank's door to eavesdrop. Maybe she would hear something interesting. Strains of bluesy music came from behind the portal, and her heart clenched. Listening to blues together and seeing live bands had been a favorite pastime of theirs. Hearing the blues playing from inside his apartment sent a curl of jealousy snaking through her belly. She frowned and tried not to think of them together and alone in the apartment. Pepper knew exactly what she and Tank would be doing if it was just the two of them inside, listening to music and having wine. It made her sick to think of him and Little Miss Faker fucking.