After the Fall (43 page)

“Thanks, Kevin—” Tim would have said more, but Kevin cut him off.

“Hey, what are we going to call you after you and Mom get married? ‘Uncle Tim' sounds odd, but familiar. ‘Dad'? I don't know.”

“Just Tim will be fine,” Tim said as Patrick stepped into the room.

Her youngest son hurried to her bedside, carrying a huge bouquet of yellow roses, her favorite.

“Shit, Patrick,” Kevin said. “Just like you to show us all up with the flowers. How do you think that makes the rest of us look?”

“Just so you all know, I sent flowers to Mom's room already,” Mike said with a big-brother grin.

Tim took the yellow roses from Patrick, and set them on the credenza that held the tray of sandwiches. Laura made a mental note to ask for a vase.

Patrick did not sit. Rather, he stood behind Laura. She couldn't see his face, wondered if his stance was protective or defiant.

Then he spoke in a master-of-ceremony voice. “Bet you all want to know why we're gathered here tonight?” Laura realized that as the youngest of five, he'd had little opportunity to preside over family matters.

“I think it's a bit dramatic for a wedding planning session,” said Nicole, “but, hey, I'll go along with it.”

“Wrong,” Patrick said. He put his hand on Laura's good
shoulder. “Mom, let's get right to it. Do you want to tell them or should I? I don't mind—really.”

Since her decision to confess to the kids, Laura had watched this moment in her mind, tried to foresee how this would play out, but now, with Patrick offering himself as spokesperson, she was stunned, speechless.

Laura didn't know how much time passed in silence—seconds? minutes?—before Patrick spoke.

“Okay, I'll handle this. Siblings, this communiqué is for you. Tim and I already know.”

Laura couldn't breathe. Her soul left her body, she knew it did.

“I am an illegitimate child.”

“Aren't we all, in one way or another,” Kevin said, loosening his tie.

“Bro, I'm not kidding. Your dad, Steve Nelson, is not my biological father. So there! Back me up on this, Mom.”

Again, a room full of silence. No one seemed to breathe. Laura still wasn't sure she could inhale.

Patrick still stood behind her. She felt his fingers tighten on her right shoulder, but she couldn't see his face. Still no one spoke. With a tiny pan of her eyes right and left, she could see four stricken faces.

Nicole, the first to speak, “Patrick, what are you f-ing talking about? Our dad, your dad, died fourteen years ago. You were young. You had just had heart surgery. You must have weird memories. Anesthesia can do that to you. But why are you bringing this up now? My God, Mom's just been injured, almost killed—”

“Because she wanted me to,” Patrick said, voice calm, tightly controlled. “And be assured, my brain hasn't suffered any after effects from the drugs you doctors use to put kids under.”

Laura heard strength in Patrick's response. She had to jump in and take over the narrative. If only she could see his face, read his emotions, but he still stood solidly behind her.

She'd avoided looking directly at any of her children.
When she ventured a glance, she felt weak, woozy, like maybe she was having a stroke. If she were ever to be struck down by a catastrophic illness, this would be the time.
I have to speak to them, make them understand
.

“Mom, we know something happened regarding Patrick when he had that emergency heart surgery,” Mike prompted. “Dad never told us the details, but something—”

“Yes,” Laura finally breathed. She looked at Mike, over to Kevin, then at her twin daughters. “I had always intended to tell you, but there never was a good time. And Patrick—” Laura shifted in her chair, turning as best she could to face him, “I needed to explain everything to Patrick first.”

“Mom, are you sure you want to go on? You don't look good. You're in the hospital. You were
shot
today. Couldn't we hear this later—whatever you want to say? You know, like when you're out of the hospital?” So like Natalie, wanting to avoid emotional trauma.

“No,” Nicole said. “Patrick, could you come sit down with us? You're making me nervous standing over Mom like you're going to take her into custody if she doesn't say what you want.”

“You okay, Mom?” Patrick asked as he complied, and came around to sit next to Nicole.

Laura looked at Tim. When he gave an almost imperceptible nod, she shifted a little to sit up straighter. “Here's what happened,” she said. “Your Dad and I had a pretty good marriage until we moved to Detroit. After that, not so good. And by the time we moved to Tampa, we stuck together mostly because of you kids. And then he was… Well, he was killed.” Laura hesitated. No one came to her rescue so she continued. “There was a time, a very short time, when I became involved with another man. He was on the faculty.” She did not divulge that she and David had spent only one night together. A very fateful night. A night she would never regret.

All but Patrick and Tim stared at her. Big eyes. Open mouths. An audible gasp from Nicole.

“There, I've said it,” Laura paused. Her eyes were dry, she'd
always feared she'd cry when she revealed her transgression, her unfaithfulness to Steve.

“Oh, my God,” Nicole turned to stare at Tim. “Is Uncle Tim…the one?”

Tim's redhead complexion turned pink. Laura could see him shake his head just slightly.

“No,” she said, “not Tim. The man's name was David Monroe. He died when Patrick was just a baby. He never knew he had a child.” Here, Laura was lying, but she could not bear to relate the tragic circumstances of David's death, how he'd been holding Patrick, how—she believed—he'd instinctively known Patrick was his son.

“Mom, how could you?” Natalie asked, tears starting to flow. “After all these years, we find out? I mean, Patrick? What about Patrick?”

“Natalie, I don't care,” Patrick said. “Sure, I was shocked and hurt at first, but the guy's dead, died many years before the death of the man I have, and always will, consider my dad. After that Mom was on her own, and we kids had a great life, right? Hey, just look at all you American success stories. And Mom's happy now that we have Tim in our lives. Let's just move on, okay?”

“If Patrick's okay with moving on, I am,” said Kevin. “Do the rest of you think we can just forget about this? That'd be my vote.”

“Sounds good to me,” Mike said. “I'm glad this all came out. Remember, Kevin, when Dad got all weird when Patrick got sick? He kept saying Mom had done something bad, but he refused to tell us what ‘until we were older,' and then he died soon after.”

“Vaguely,” said Kevin.

“He'd just found out,” Laura said.

“I can deal with this,” Nicole said. “Now we know Mom's not perfect. She's like one of us. I, for one, appreciate that. Natalie, stop crying. Let's give Mom a big hug. But watch the arms.”

All five kids jumped up, went to Laura and hugged her, gently, murmuring, “I love you, Mom. It's okay, Mom.”

“Okay, kids,” Tim said once they'd all settled down. “I'll get your mom back to her room with her new flowers. Sorry we won't
be having that big feast we promised you. Nicole, you look like you've got places to go. Any of you want to stay in the apartment, there's plenty of food and beer.”

They all stopped to give Laura one more kiss before they left, Natalie now dry-eyed.

Mike was the last one out and he turned at the door. “So that's the only bombshell you want to share, Mom?”

Laura forced a smile as she nodded, yes. Just the thought of her remaining secret sent her heart into triple-beat. That secret she would never reveal to her children. But she would tell Tim. Tonight.

After all her children had left, apparently in decent spirits, Tim stood behind her chair to help her up.

“Tim, would you mind sitting down, staying a little longer? I know you've had a few shocks today, but I have one more story I want to tell you.”

And Laura told him about that night that had hung over her life like a shadow of death.