After the Abduction (30 page)

The instant her face went cold, he knew he’d blundered. “I see. By then it won’t matter because you’ll merely have a wife to worry about. And perhaps a child or two, depending on when Morgan returns.” She shimmied into her drawers. “Apparently, it hasn’t occurred to you that if you wait to tell Griff, he’ll be twice as angry when he realizes you deceived him all that time.”

No, it hadn’t occurred to him. Why the devil should Knighton’s opinion have any effect whatsoever on his life? Juliet had forgiven him; who cared what the rest of them thought? “Let him be angry. I don’t care what he does to me once Morgan is safe.”

“He could bring you to trial!”

“He could do that now.”

“But he won’t. Because he won’t risk dragging me through a scandal as long as there’s some chance I might marry somebody respectable. Once you and I marry, however, that chance is gone. So he’ll weigh the risk of scandal versus the risk of my being ‘enslaved’ to my kidnapper all my life, and he’ll choose to ‘save’ me from you. Daniel and Helena and Rosalind will be right there with him, prodding him on.”

“And this is the man you want me to confess to,” Sebastian said, unable to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

“It’ll be different after we marry, don’t you see?” Nimbly, she buttoned up her chemise. “They’ll think you deceived me to gain my hand. Or they’ll think you wed me to keep me silent or some nonsense like that. You’ll never convince them that I knew who you were all along.” She set her shoulders stubbornly. “If you don’t squelch it now, they’ll have you carted off in chains, if only to separate us. It’s just the sort of idiotic thing they might do to ‘protect’ me from myself. They still believe me to be the most featherbrained, half-witted—”

“No, they don’t.” It tore at him to see how she considered her family’s admittedly overprotective instincts as a reflection of their opinion of her. “They only want what’s best for you, sweeting,” he murmured, reaching for her again. “As do I.”

She shoved him away. “Do you? You want me to lie to my family about you. You want me to live in fear that I’ll let the truth slip at some inopportune moment. And once your brother returns, you want me to convince them that it’s all right, when they’re sure to think anything but that. You want me to begin our marriage with a lie!”

“I refuse to risk my brother’s future just so you won’t have to lie to your family!” he snapped. “Don’t ask it of me.”

Her tone turned pleading. “Griff won’t harm you or Morgan, I swear. He won’t try to stop your negotiations for Morgan’s return. I won’t allow it.”

“We both know you can’t promise that.”

She stiffened. “My brother-in-law, hot-tempered as he might be, is an honorable man. When faced with the facts and my earnest pleading of your case, he’ll understand. I know Griff hasn’t made a good impression on you, but once he and the rest of my family are as convinced of your fine and noble character as I am—and your remorse for
what you did—they’ll close ranks around you. They’ll even try to help.”

“You mean, help save my rapscallion of a brother? Now why in God’s name should they care enough to do that?”

“Because
I
care. Because it matters to you, and I want to marry you. Because I intend to convince them that it’s important to me. But the longer you deceive them, the less inclined they’ll be to listen. Which is why you simply
must
tell them everything now. You must trust me to know what my family will do. If you can’t trust me—”

“This isn’t about trusting you. I trust you. I just don’t trust them.”

“It’s the same thing!”

“No, it’s not! Your affection for them has blinded you to their faults. But it hasn’t blinded me. I won’t let you dictate the terms of our marriage when you can’t see the enormity of what you ask. You’ll have to accept that I’m doing what’s best for us both.”

“As you did when you kidnapped me?” she said dryly.

That sent his temper over the edge. “This is absurd. I’m not going to tell your blasted family a blasted thing until Morgan returns, so that’s that. And we
will
marry as soon as possible. Don’t think to sway me on this with your childish ultimatums.”

Her head shot up so fast, it was a miracle it didn’t go flying off. And as soon as he saw the fire in her gaze, he realized his mistake. Blast.

“Childish ultimatums?
Childish,
mind you?” Striding up to him with her gown in tow, she poked him in the chest. “You have the audacity to call
me
childish, when you’re the one who refuses to do the right thing!”

“Now see here, Juliet, I didn’t mean—”

“Oh yes, you did! You think I haven’t changed a bit in two years. You think you can just order me about in that
condescending tone, and I’ll do exactly as you say. And if I deign to disagree or want matters handled another way, you call me childish.”

“I didn’t call you childish!” But he could feel her slipping from his grasp.

She ignored his protest, that blasted finger of hers continuing to stab his chest. “If that’s what you think of me, you…you arrogant, pistol-shooting bully, then you are sadly mistaken. I was a fool the first time I let you tell me what to do. I let you convince me that eloping and sneaking about were better than going right to my father and telling him everything. Well, I’ll be damned if I let you convince me to do it again!”

She poked him again, and he grabbed her finger. “Juliet, be sensible. You don’t want to upset your family needlessly—”

“
That’s
what you said the last time.” Jerking her hand free, she snatched up her gown and shimmied into it.

Devil take her impeccable memory. “It isn’t the same, and you know it.”

“Only because this time you aren’t kidnapping me under the erroneous belief that you can maneuver everything to your satisfaction—”

“Erroneous!” he exploded. “I succeeded, didn’t I?”

“Except for putting my family in danger and destroying my reputation. I suppose you’re perfectly happy to see me maligned by every loose tongue while you wait for your precious brother to return!”

“If you marry me,” he bit out, “whatever small rumors there are won’t matter, will they? Unless you planned on our staying in London and becoming the cream of society.”

Her cold expression struck him hollow. “You seem to forget that my family will be hurt by gossip as much as I would. The least you can do is let them know why they’re suffering.”

She struggled to fasten her buttons. Swearing under his
breath, he circled around to stand behind her and seize the edges of her gown. Though she stood rigid as a post, she dropped her hands and allowed him to fasten her up.

It felt so comfortable and natural to help her dress. If she’d only be reasonable, he could soon do it whenever he wished. Which would undoubtedly be often, since he couldn’t keep his hands off her.

He leaned close and lowered his voice. “Why the devil do you care so much about
them
? It’s
me
you’re marrying.” She bent her head to give him access to the top buttons. He swept the gossamer strands of her hair aside, his gut clenching to think that she might postpone their marriage. Over this, for God’s sake! “I’d think you’d put my wishes ahead of your family’s welfare, since I’m to be your husband.”

Until he’d said the words, he hadn’t realized how much he resented her family’s influence in her life. How much he ached to be the one who mattered most to her. Not that he would ever let her know it. He wouldn’t beg, damn it.

“Why should I do otherwise when you’re doing exactly the same—putting Morgan’s welfare before
my
wishes?”

He gritted his teeth, wishing she hadn’t chosen this particular moment to be so blasted logical. “So your solution is to delay the wedding.”

She shrugged. “If you won’t tell them anything—”

“I won’t.” He had to keep silent about Morgan until matters were settled.

“Then I see no other solution.”

Leaving him, she hurried to the bed and sat down to draw her stockings up her gamine legs, making his mouth go dry. She couldn’t truly mean to delay the wedding. Could she?

“How long can you keep your family in Shropshire?” he asked, trying to sound nonchalant when inside he felt like a man slipping into a dangerous quagmire.

She wouldn’t look at him as she tied her garters, then
put on her half boots. “Actually, I was thinking that my family and I ought to return to London. The longer we stay away, the more chance there is for the gossip to take hold. Now that we know you didn’t start it, we should find out who did, and nip it in the bud before it becomes nasty.”

The quagmire deepened; he sank to his knees in it. “You won’t stay here?”

“It’s not as if we could stay until Morgan returns, you know. As you said, it might be ‘weeks, even months.’”

No doubt she took great delight in throwing his own words back in his teeth. “I can’t leave here until he returns.”

“Of course not,” she said tersely. “You stay and take care of your brother, and when you’ve got it all settled and you’re ready to speak to my family, come to London.” She added in a small voice, “That is, unless you change your mind about marrying me.”

“I won’t change my mind.” Now his chest was going under, now his neck. He couldn’t breathe for the thought of her actually leaving him. “At least tell your family we’re engaged to be married.”

Rising from the bed, she faced him with shoulders set. “But we’re not. And we won’t be until you tell them the truth.” Then she turned and strode toward the door.

In a panic, he crossed the room to grab her by the arm. “You promised you’d be my wife if I told
you
the truth, and I did. Your family doesn’t figure into the agreement.”

She lifted her clear-eyed gaze to him. “As I recall, the terms were that if I didn’t like what you had to say, I could do as I pleased.”

“Blast it, Juliet, I ruined you! And I take responsibility for my actions.”

“Except when it conflicts with your notions about your duty to your family.”

“I have a responsibility to my brother, too.”

“As I do to my family.”

Which was absurd. Her family wasn’t in danger. They deserved nothing from him. No matter what she claimed, this wasn’t about responsibility. It was another of her little tricks—meant to force him into doing what she wanted. Well, he had a few tricks of his own up his sleeve.

“What if I tell Knighton that I’ve taken your innocence? Then he’ll insist that you marry me at once.”

Anger and hurt mingled in her lovely features. “You’d really do that to me? Shame me before him?”

He squelched ruthlessly any twinges of guilt. “Better that you suffer a little shame now than a great deal of shame later if you should find yourself with child. So yes, I’ll tell him if I must.”

That stubborn little chin of hers shot up a notch. “Go ahead. Then I’ll tell him who you really are, and it will
all
be out in the open, won’t it?”

“You’re going to do that anyway,” he growled.

She flinched. “No, of course not. They deserve to hear it from you. If I tell them, they’ll think I’m trying to cover it up for you. They won’t believe you did it for a good reason, and they’ll want your head. So I’m not saying a word until you tell them, whenever
that
is.”

He gaped at her. “You expect me to believe that you’ll keep quiet, even though you have every reason not to?”

“I don’t give a farthing what you believe,” she whispered, wrenching free of his hold. Her lovely eyes shimmered with tears. “If you can’t see that I care about you enough to want to protect you, then that is your problem.”

She started for the door, and he stood there frozen. She cared as much as all the others who’d chosen to leave him. They, too, had always had what they thought were perfectly good reasons to go.

His mother’s reason had been love, that dubious emotion. His father’s had been freedom. His uncle’s reason
had been the glitter and excitement of London and Bath. Even Morgan had initially possessed a rational reason to ignore all familial ties—his duty to his country.

At least that one was noble. The rest were all as flimsy and self-serving as Juliet’s. And they all bore the same results—Sebastian was left alone with his responsibilities, left alone to take care of everything, eternally alone.

Fine. He always managed to get through it before, and this time was no different. The alternative was to dance to her tune—or beg—and he’d be damned if he did either. Not since he was a child had he begged anyone to stay. Grown men didn’t beg. And he sure as the devil wouldn’t beg
her.

She halted in the doorway and glanced back at him, suddenly uncertain. “You’ll be all right here?”

“I’ve done without you for most of my life, Juliet,” he bit out. “I think I can manage a few more weeks.”

She paled. “Yes, of course you can. How stupid of me to think you might miss me.” She turned to walk out the door.

Oh Christ, of course he’d miss her. How could she think otherwise?

“Juliet?” he said, on the verge of telling her that very thing.

Then she gazed back at him, her face hopeful, as if she half expected him to tell her he’d forget about his brother and his duty. And the words—too close to begging for his comfort—drained from him. He sighed. “You’ll send word if you find yourself with child, won’t you?”

The hope died in her face. “Of course.”

“Because I’ll come to London at once if you do.”

“Yes, I’m sure you will.” Her voice was laced with sarcasm. “That responsibility would be impossible for you to ignore, even for your brother’s sake.”

He nodded, not sure what to say.

“Well, I’d better go,” she said briskly, though her eyes looked suspiciously watery. “Whenever Morgan returns
and you’ve settled your ‘sticky negotiations,’ you’ll find me in London. Good-bye, Sebastian.”

She swept through the door, and suddenly he was thirteen again, hearing about his mother and how she’d abandoned him because his father didn’t love her and she preferred “love” with another man to caring for her eldest son.

A powerful rage came over him, propelling him to hurry to the top of the staircase. He watched Juliet descend the steps he’d carried her up only a few hours before. Devil take the stubborn wench! He wanted to race down the stairs, catch her in his arms, and kiss her until she agreed to marry him at once. But he’d be damned if he’d give in to her manipulations.