After Tex (4 page)

“I can't make her, no, but she will, honey. I know she will.” If he had to hog-tie her and explain a few facts of life, Megan O'Rourke would do right by this
child. Just as Tex had predicted, Jake would enjoy every single minute of seeing to it.

 

If it had been up to Megan, Tex's funeral would have been private. It was Jake who handed her a letter with Tex's wishes spelled out. He wanted something lavish, even though he hadn't set foot inside of a church in years.

“The service isn't for me. I'll already be wherever I'm heading,” he'd written. “It's for you, Megan. I want you to be surrounded by the steady, solid folks around here. Maybe it'll help you to remember what it's like to have friends who can share your grief, who'll be there for you and expect nothing in return. Seems to me like you've accumulated enough of the other kind in New York.”

She sighed at his words. Leave it to Tex to take a dig at her life-style while laying out his own funeral arrangements. She forced herself to read on.

“After all the hoopla's over, bury me quietly on that rise overlooking the creek,” he'd instructed. “I've already made arrangements for my tombstone. It's nothing fancy, so don't you go adding any flowery sentiments to it. Plain and simple will do me just fine.”

When she'd finished reading, she folded the letter precisely and tucked it back into the plain white envelope with her name scrawled across the front in Tex's careless script.

“I suppose you know what it says,” she said to Jake, irritated that he'd been taken into her grandfather's confidence when she had not.

“The gist of it,” he agreed. “Obviously, the details are up to you, but he made his feelings known.”

“And, of course, I'll do as he asked,” she said wearily.

Jake studied her intently. “About everything?”

“You're talking about Tess, aren't you?”

“Of course.”

“Jake, I can't think about that now. I really can't. I'm feeling…” Her voice trailed off and she held up her hands in a rare gesture of helplessness.

“Lost? Overwhelmed? Angry?” he supplied.

She caught herself wanting to smile at the litany, which was eerily accurate, reminiscent of a time when Jake had read her mind with ease. “Pretty much,” she admitted.

“Some of this you'll have to handle yourself, but in terms of the funeral, if you're agreeable to what Tex wanted, you can sit back and leave the rest to me,” Jake offered. “I'll make the arrangements for the service and the burial.”

She balked at letting him take on that task. Duty came to mind again. “It's my responsibility.”

He shook his head and grinned. “Ah, Meggie, you never did know when to let go, did you? I'm surprised you haven't gone up in flames with all that's on your plate in New York. Do you trust anyone to handle even the tiniest detail?”

She thought of Todd and his incredible efficiency. “Of course,” she snapped.

Jake's steady gaze was skeptical. “Really?”

Okay, she admitted to herself, the truth was that not much got past without her final approval. Her staff sometimes chafed at the lack of faith, but she re
minded them repeatedly that it was her name on the magazine, her image on the television screen, her reputation on the line. Admitting any of that to Jake, though, was not an option.

“It's a funeral, not a presidential inauguration. I can handle it,” she informed him. “I'll be sure and call your office when the time is set.”

He grinned and settled back in the easy chair opposite her—Tex's chair, the leather one that was oversize to fit a big man. Jake looked as at home in it as Tex ever had. The relief she felt at Jake's being there unnerved her. The house was too empty without Tex. She accepted the fact that it would have felt that way even if it had been crowded with people. She told herself that a cattle thief was a poor substitute for the honorable man her grandfather had been, but she was a little too grateful for the company just the same. That made it all the more important to see that he left.

“Didn't you hear what I said?” she asked testily.

“You trying to get rid of me, Meggie?”

“I was hoping to, yes,” she said bluntly. “I'm tired, Jake. It's been a long, grueling day.”

“I'm sure it has been,” he agreed. “But there are matters we have to discuss.”

“Tonight?”

“I think so.”

“Such as?”

“Tess.”

Her head pounded just thinking about Tess. “I told you I am not talking about Tess.”

“You can't ignore the subject, Megan. She's not going to vanish overnight.”

Megan closed her eyes as if to deny the truth of
what he was saying. Unfortunately, Tess was very real and apparently very much her responsibility. Megan didn't have to see the terms of Tex's will in black and white to prove it. She doubted that Jake, for all of his flaws, would have the audacity to lie about something so important.

“I can't deal with this now.”

“You have to,” he insisted.

“Aren't you the one who just finished saying that Tess wasn't going anywhere? I'll deal with that situation tomorrow.”

“Or the next day or the one after that,” he suggested sarcastically. “She's a kid. You can't just back-burner her until it's convenient. She needs some reassurance that things are going to work out, that you'll take care of her now. She's already convinced you don't want her. Can you imagine how insecure that makes her feel?”

The memory of another terrified, insecure little girl came back to haunt her. Megan tried to push it aside, bury it where it belonged, in the past. “Where did this show of concern come from?” she asked Jake. “I don't remember you being the fatherly type.”

“I'm talking common decency here. Tess is scared. Can you blame her? Of all people, you ought to know what it feels like to be dumped on someone's doorstep.”

Megan shuddered despite herself. The memories flooded back once more. It had been more than two decades ago and she still remembered how terrifyingly alone she had felt in a strange house, knowing that her mother had gone away, more than likely for good.

What was it about the women in Tex's life—his own daughter, Tess's mama, even Megan herself—that they all fled? Had they been overwhelmed by the sheer force of his personality? Had they needed to escape to find themselves?

“I'll check on Tess when I go upstairs,” she said, resigned to the fact that he wouldn't leave her in peace without such a promise.

“It'll take more than a kiss on the cheek and tucking the blankets around her to fix things,” Jake pointed out, still not satisfied.

“Dammit, I know that,” Megan said, frustrated by his persistence. “I'll do what I can. You've known about this for how long now? Weeks, maybe. Months. I've had less than a day. You'll have to excuse me if I'm inept at the maternal bit. As you just reminded me, I never had an example to go by.”

He looked vaguely guilty. “Sorry. I didn't mean to reopen old wounds.”

“Of course you did. And you were right,” she admitted with a sigh. “I should be more understanding, since I went through the exact same thing.” She thought of Tess's attitude. The child had deliberately done everything in her power to goad Megan all through dinner. “She's not making it easy, you know.”

Jake clearly wasn't persuaded. “Did you?”

She thought back. She'd pretty much challenged Tex every chance she got until the ground rules were laid out and had taken hold. “I suppose not.”

“You're the grown-up now, Meggie. Do what you wish had been done for you way back then.” That said, he finally seemed satisfied that he'd done what
he could. He stood up and headed for the door. “You need anything, call.”

“I'll manage.”

He shook his head. “Whatever.” At the door, he paused. “We'll go over the rest of Jake's will after the funeral, okay? That'll be soon enough.”

Megan doubted there were any more bombshells to be dropped. Just in case, though, she muttered, “I can't wait.”

As soon as Jake was gone, she slipped over to Tex's chair just as she had so many times in the past the instant her grandfather had left the room. The leather was still warm from Jake's heat. She could almost pretend that Tex himself had just been sitting there, but it was Jake's scent that surrounded her tonight. Despite her reluctance to accept anything at all from him, she curled up in the spot where he'd been and took comfort from the lingering traces of his presence.

She thought of the pushy, irritating man who'd just left, the angry little girl upstairs and the sneaky old coot who was gone forever.

“Oh, Tex,” she whispered, battling fresh tears. “What have you done to me?”

T
he slightly plump woman standing on the front porch with an armload of casserole dishes had a wary expression in her eyes, as if she were uncertain of her welcome. Her arrival had taken Megan by surprise. In New York she wasn't used to people dropping by, and even if they did, there was a whole layer of security built in before they ever reached her. Surprise didn't take away the pleasure, however. It had been way too long since she'd seen her onetime best friend.

“Megan, it's me, Peggy,” the woman announced in an insecure rush before Megan could acknowledge her. “I probably should have called first, but we don't stand on ceremony much around here. It's probably not like that in New York. What with all you do, you probably have a zillion secretaries to keep people from bothering you.” She thrust the food toward Megan. “I'll just leave this and run along.”

If she'd slowed down for even a second, Megan would have welcomed her with a hug, but Peggy had always chattered on without pausing for breath. Being ill at ease only made her worse. Megan snagged her friend's arm as she turned away.

“You get in here, Peggy. You're not going anywhere,” Megan insisted.

Peggy's expression brightened. “Are you sure? I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you. I don't want to be a bother.”

“How could you possibly be a bother? Now get in here. Let me take this into the other room and I'll be right with you.”

She waited until Peggy had come inside before carrying the still-warm casseroles toward the dining room table, which was already heaped with offerings from other neighbors. When she returned to the foyer, Peggy was still regarding her uncertainly.

“I wasn't sure you'd even remember me,” she confessed.

“And why wouldn't I?” Megan said, startled by the statement. “We grew up together. I slept over at your house whenever Tex would let me. You know more of my secrets than anyone else on earth. How could you possibly think I wouldn't remember you?”

Peggy shrugged. “It's been a long time.” She said it without judgment or rancor, just a statement of fact that spoke volumes about the way Megan had cut not only Whispering Wind, but everyone in it out of her life. There'd been no cards, no letters, not even a quick, occasional phone call to Peggy.

“I'm sorry,” Megan said sincerely. “I never meant for so much time to go by. Can you stay for a bit? We can make up for lost time.”

Even as she said the words, she realized just how much she had missed having a real confidante, someone who knew her inside out and never judged. She had hundreds of acquaintances now, but few good friends and absolutely no one who shared a lifelong history with her. Seeing Peggy and remembering mid
dle-of-the-night confidences, shared dreams and irrepressible giggles made her feel the absence in a way she never had before.

“Are you sure?” Peggy asked. “I know you must have a million and one things to do. We're all real sorry about Tex. If there's anything you need, you just have to ask. Wilma at the funeral home said you'd been in to arrange for the services. Everyone'll be there, of course. Tex touched a lot of lives around here. I never realized how many till I was grown and on my own. Kids never do, I guess.” She paused and grinned. “I guess you can tell I still go on and on. Just hush me up whenever you're tired of hearing my voice. Johnny says I could talk a man to death. He believes that's how I get my way so often.”

Megan searched her memory. The image of a freckle-faced blond boy with an untamable cowlick and a shy smile came to mind. “You married Johnny Barkley?”

“Who else?” Peggy said. “I mooned over him long enough. I guess I just wore him down. We have three children, two boys and a girl, which explains how I've managed to put on twenty pounds I don't need and turned most of my hair gray, though you can't tell it because of the blond rinse I've been using. I'll be darned if I'm going to look old before my time the way my mama did. Of course, she looks terrific now that she's down in Arizona. She had herself a facelift last year. I swear she looks almost as young as me.”

“Well, you certainly look wonderful,” Megan said with total sincerity. Despite the extra weight, Peggy looked healthy and happy—contented in a way that
Megan found herself envying without knowing why. Her green eyes sparkled with merriment, just as they had when she and Megan were children.

“Go on into the living room and have a seat,” Megan urged. “I'll have Mrs. Gomez fix us some tea. Or would you rather have coffee?”

“I'll have a soda if she has one. Any kind will do.”

“A Dr Pepper,” Megan said, suddenly remembering. They had gone through cases of the stuff. “I'll bet there are some in the fridge.”

In the kitchen, she found the housekeeper trying to stuff the already overloaded refrigerator with yet another casserole that had just been delivered to the back door by a neighbor who hadn't wanted to bother Megan.

“It's a good thing the funeral's tomorrow or all this food would go bad,” she said. “Not much of a loss, if you ask me. There's not an enchilada in the lot of them.”

“Maybe folks figure your spicy cooking is what put Tex in his grave and they're not taking any chances,” Megan teased, then regretted it when she saw the sheen of tears in the housekeeper's eyes. Megan wrapped her arms around her. “Don't you dare cry. If you do, you'll have me weeping.”

“Crying might do you some good. Better to let your emotions out than keep them all bottled up the way Tex made you do,” the housekeeper said with undisguised disapproval. “You remember when that boy—Bobby Temple,
Sí?
He shoved you down in the mud in your brand-new winter coat. You were crying and carrying on. Tex gave you one of those looks of
his and said, ‘Girl, an O'Rourke always holds his chin up high and we never, ever cry over things that are over and done.'”

Mrs. Gomez had captured Tex's words exactly. Megan had heard them often enough. She gave the housekeeper another hug. “Oh, I'll do my share of crying before this is over,” she assured her. “Right now, though, Peggy's here and we were wondering if there's any Dr Pepper around.”

Mrs. Gomez's expression brightened. “I believe there's some in the pantry. I'll fill some tall glasses with lots of ice the way you used to like it, and I'll bring it right along.”

“I'll get it. You have enough to do.” Megan found an entire case of the soft drink in the pantry. Emerging with a couple of cans, she regarded the housekeeper with a wry look. “I take it you were expecting Peggy to drop by.”

“Of course,
niña.
She is your best friend. Where else would she be at a time like this?”

Some friend I've been, Megan thought as she took the drinks into the living room. Peggy was married and had three children Megan had known nothing about until today. She'd never even asked after her friend when she'd talked to Tex, and he wasn't one to volunteer information.

In the living room she found Peggy perched on the edge of the sofa as if she still might take off at any second. Once she would have been curled up in a corner of that same overstuffed sofa with her shoes kicked off and a fat pillow hugged to her middle.

Megan handed a glass to her friend and sat at the
opposite end. “Okay, then. Married. Three kids. What else have you been up to?”

Peggy gave her an amused look. “I can tell you don't have kids, if you have to ask a question like that. Three of them, all under the age of ten, pretty much eliminates anything except sleeping six hours a night if I'm lucky.”

Megan thought of Tess and the disruptions she faced to her own life, and shuddered. “I imagine I'll be finding out for myself soon enough,” she said, testing the idea aloud for the first time.

Though she'd been praying for some other solution, Jake's words and a long night of restless tossing and turning had left her fully aware that she couldn't simply abandon the girl, no matter how much either of them would have preferred it. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she simply walked away.

Peggy gave her an understanding look. “Then you know about Tess? I'd wondered.”

“Oh, yes, I know. I found out when I got here.”

“Sweet heaven! Not before?” Peggy asked, clearly shocked. “It's been the talk of the town for months now. I thought surely Tex would have told you.”

“No one thought to tell me,” Megan said with undisguised bitterness. “Of course, Mrs. Gomez wouldn't think it was her place. And apparently Tex didn't think he should mention it in passing during one of his phone calls. Better to let the bomb drop when he's not around to see the fallout. According to his lawyer, I'm expected to rise to the occasion.”

“It'll be an adjustment, I'm sure, but it won't be that bad. She's a good kid,” Peggy said. “She's spent some time at our house. She and my girl are friends,
at least most days. Tess doesn't make it easy. Then, who can blame her? It can't have been easy having a mama walk out and getting left with a man she'd never even met before. That mama of hers ought to roast in hell for what she did.”

“Apparently that place in hell is going to be crowded with Tex's women,” Megan observed. “The habit goes all the way back to my mother—beyond if you consider the fact that Grandmother died when my mother was barely five.”

Peggy's cheeks turned bright pink. “Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. It's just that it was so long ago, what happened to you. You've done so well, I suppose I never think about the scars it might have left inside.”

“No scars,” Megan insisted staunchly. “You're right. My life is as close to perfect as anything I could ever have imagined.”

“Perfect, huh? That's certainly the impression you give on TV and in your magazine. Makes the rest of us downright envious. How's Tess going to fit into that?”

Megan sighed. “I wish to heaven I knew.”

“Well, if anyone can make it work, it's you,” Peggy said with absolute confidence. “After all, aren't you the woman who tells the whole world how to turn lemons into lemonade? I swear to goodness, I think you could take the rattiest old thing lying around and turn it into some fancy decorative accent. I watched that show of yours one day and dragged an old cradle out of the basement and turned it into a planter. Johnny thought at first I was hinting about having another baby, but then I stuck a couple of
ferns in there and he admitted it looked right nice. Said the watering's likely to rot the wood before the next generation comes along, but so what? I doubt they'll appreciate anything that doesn't come from some discount store, anyway. Plastic's practical. Even my mama says that, though it makes me shudder when she does. Last time I went down to Arizona to see her, I swear to goodness I was shocked. Her idea of decorating is picking up whatever's on sale at Wal-Mart. You should have seen the mishmash. It would have brought tears to your eyes.”

Megan chuckled. “Oh, Peggy, I have missed you. No one cuts through to the heart of things the way you do. Don't ever change.”

“I don't suppose I could if I wanted to. This is who I am and, thank goodness, Johnny loves me for it.” She paused and studied Megan carefully. “You've changed, though.”

“How?” Megan asked, expecting her to say something about the expensive highlights in the sophisticated, yet casually short hairstyle that had replaced the ponytails of her youth. Or maybe something about the elegant clothes that were a far cry from the worn-out blue jeans and frayed cotton shirts she had once favored.

“You're warier,” Peggy said thoughtfully. “Jake's responsible for that, I suppose. It must have come as a shock to find him here. I know everyone in town was certainly stunned when he came back. Then he and your grandfather got to be thick as thieves at the end, no pun intended, and no one knew what to make of it. To give the devil his due, Jake's still the handsomest thing walking around Whispering Wind.

“Not that I'd trade my Johnny,” she added hurriedly. “No, indeed. Johnny's a man you can rely on. No surprises. Jake Landers is the kind of man who can break a woman's heart, but who would know that better than you?”

“That was a long time ago. Jake Landers means nothing to me now,” Megan said firmly. “Nothing.”

Peggy looked startled by her vehemence, then a slow grin spread across her face. “Oh, my, so that's the way it is, is it?”

“I don't know what you're talking about,” Megan insisted, despite the heat she could feel climbing into her cheeks.

Peggy went on as if she hadn't spoken. “Of course, he's a respected lawyer now. I suppose it could work. And Tex isn't around to stand in your way—”

“Enough!” Megan interrupted. “I am not the least bit interested in Jake. That was over and done with a very long time ago. He stole Tex's cattle, for heaven's sake. How could I give two figs about a man who would betray my grandfather that way after Tex had brought him out here and given him work?”

Peggy regarded her oddly.

“What?” Megan asked.

“He didn't do it,” Peggy said. “Surely you knew that.”