After It's Over (20 page)

Ben nodded. “Well?”

“I heard you talking to Bianca about the dance. It wasn’t hard to figure out which high school it was at,” Beth replied.

Ben tugged on Paige’s hand; he pulled her to his side. The color drained from his face. His hand felt clammy against hers.

“I don’t understand.” Paige looked from Beth to her husband and back again. “What’s going on here?”

A couple of teenage girls that were walking towards the gym stopped and stared. Paige gave them a look and motioned for them to keep moving.

“You need to leave, Beth,” Ben said. “If you’re going to hurt yourself—”

“I was going to. That was the plan, but then I realized that I had other options.” Beth looked at Paige.

“Could someone please tell me what’s going on?” Paige demanded. She took her hand out of Ben’s and folded her arms across her chest.

“I’ve been sleeping with your husband,” Beth said. She tucked a few strands of her short hair behind her ear and sniffled.

“Ben?” Paige’s heart sank. She stepped away from him.

I knew it. Deep down I just knew it.

“Paige, it’s not like—” Ben reached out for her.

“You’ve been cheating on me this whole time.” Paige’s voice was soft. “You lied to me over and over again. How could you do that to me?”

“Paige, I love you. Don’t you see that?” Ben’s eyes plead his case.

Paige shook her head and looked away.
I’m so humiliated.

“I didn’t come here to watch you two work things out,” Beth said. She reached into the pocket of her coat and pulled out something dark.

Ben stared at her hand; Paige’s followed his eyes. She didn’t see what the woman was holding until Beth stepped out of the shadows and into the light of a lamp post. Paige gasped and recoiled.

“She’s got a gun, Ben.”

“Yeah, I know.” Ben cleared his throat. “Beth, no one needs to get hurt. You can just walk away now and this will all be over.”

Beth laughed—a shrill, ear-piercing cackle that made Paige’s skin crawl. A knot formed in the pit of her stomach.

Beth serves in the military like Ben, which means she spent weeks in basic training learning how to shoot a gun. When she points that thing, she’s not going to miss.

“I’ve invested five years in you. Do you really expect me to just up and walk away from that kind of an investment when I can simply take out the competition?” Beth’s voice was steady.

“What do you mean?” Ben asked.

I know exactly what she means.

Paige glanced over her shoulder at the security guards that were standing near the entrance to the gym. One of them nodded in their direction.

“I think it’s time I took out little Ms. Whiny Homemaker over there so I’m finally number one,” Beth replied. She grinned.

Paige cringed. “Beth, there’s no need to shoot me. You can have him. In fact, take my ring.” She yanked off her wedding ring and tossed it on the ground in front of Beth. “I’m done with him.”

“Paige, you don’t mean that,” Ben muttered.

Paige gave him a look that meant she clearly did.

“No thanks. No more leftovers for me.” Beth’s cheery voice rang out in the night.

“Beth, you need to leave now.” Ben’s voice was calm, but forceful.

Paige wanted to scream; she looked back at the security guards and gestured to them behind her back, but they didn’t move.

“You and I are going to be leaving together, sweetie. Paige is going to find her own way home.” Beth raised the gun and pointed the gun at Paige.

“Please don’t.” Paige held her hands up high, hoping the security guards would see them.

“Beth, don’t! I’ll go with you! Just don’t shoot my wife!” Ben yelled.

Paige knew the security guards could hear Ben, but it would be too late for them to save her. Time slowed as Beth aimed the gun at her chest. She closed her eyes. Running would be pointless. At this distance, Beth wouldn’t miss. There was a cracking sound as Beth pulled the trigger, then came a boom as the bullet left the chamber and surged through the barrel. Paige waited for the bullet to hit her; she braced herself for the pain.

So this is how my story ends. I’m going to be one of those bodies in a black and white photo on someone’s desk.

Ben yelled something she couldn’t understand. From the corner of her eye, Paige saw him dive in her direction. He hit her with the full weight of his body. They tumbled to the ground; she landed on her back, striking her head on the rough cement. She closed her eyes and moaned. Her skull felt as if it had been split in two. When Paige opened her eyes, Ben was lying on top of her. Blood trickled out of his mouth.

“Ben? Ben?” Paige shifted her body so that he fell into her arms. She cradled his head.

The security guards ran past them. Beth screamed as they tackled her to the ground.

“I’m really screwed up,” Ben gasped and clutched at his chest. There was blood on his fingers and his entire body was draining of color.

“I need to call 9-1-1.” Paige reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone.

“Tell the girls I love them.” Ben’s eyes filled with tears that spilled onto his cheeks.

“No! No! Don’t talk to me like you’re dying!” Paige sobbed.

This can’t be happening, not now.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so…” His eyes rolled back in his head and his body went limp in her arms. Paige looked at his chest; he wasn’t breathing.

“No! No! Please, Ben! No!” Paige cried out into the night. The sirens of police cars and an ambulance drowned her sobs out. She screamed until she had no voice left.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Paige stood in front of Ben’s grave, cradling yellow roses in one arm. The first snow of the season had fallen; a layer of it covered his tombstone. She bent down and ran a gloved hand along the letters of his name, clearing away the snow and leaves. Drew stood several feet away, shivering.

“You could have borrowed one of Ben’s coats,” she said.

“I’m okay. This sports jacket is plenty warm,” he replied.

Paige shook her head. “You are so stubborn.”

Her brother shrugged. “I think I’ll take a walk for a minute. Try to get the blood flowing.”

Paige nodded; her brother walked carefully through the snow toward the other end of the cemetery. She set the roses on Ben’s grave. The cold wind tangled her hair and nipped at her cheeks. Her eyes watered; she tried to clear the lump in her throat.

“I don’t think you had a favorite flower, so I thought I’d bring you my mom’s favorite. She always said they were symbolic of joy and hope.” Paige sniffed and took a deep breath. “The girls are okay. They miss you. I miss you, Ben. More than I thought I would.”

She removed her glove and touched Ben’s marble tombstone. The stone was ice on her fingertips. “Thank you for saving me. I hope wherever you are, you’ve found peace.”

Paige bowed her head, closed her eyes, and made the sign of the cross.

Please God, give me the strength to keep going. Please watch over the girls. Please help them to heal.

She’d been praying ever since Ben’s death, which proved to be the lowest and most difficult point in her life. Bianca had been one of the first people to reach her and Ben. She saw her father’s dead body and Paige covered in his blood. The young girl, who had seemed so tough, crumbled into a hysterical mess. Paige couldn’t comfort her; she tried to calm her down, but couldn’t. The paramedics had to sedate Bianca. She was admitted to the psychiatric wing of a nearby hospital for three days where a psychiatrist put her on a course of anti-depressants and talk therapy. Paige had met Evelyn, the girls’ mother, and together they decided it would be best for the girls if she moved in. While it had been awkward at first, having their mom around proved to be the best thing for everyone. It took both of them to watch over Bianca and her sisters.

The funeral had been simple—a non-denominational chaplain from the Air Force had presided. They held it in the chapel where Ben and Paige were married. The chaplain said kind things about Ben, most of which weren’t really true. Bev and Billie had appreciated it and laughed at the anecdotes about their father. Paige had watched Bianca during the service; her stepdaughter listened, but said nothing. Her stoic behavior had become the norm. Ben’s co-worker, Aidleman, found guys in their squadron to be pallbearers. Ben was laid to rest in the cemetery not far from their home. Paige wanted him to be close to the girls.

Drew returned from his walk. He came up to her and put his arm around her shoulders. Paige leaned into him.

“How are you holding up?” he asked.

“Everyday, it gets a little easier.”

“Well, it’s only been a month since Ben died. I would imagine that in another month it’ll be a little easier, until one day this all doesn’t seem so…”

“Fresh? It feels like an open wound that’s just starting to heal.”

How exactly does one cope with their husband being murdered by his mistress? Someday I’m going to yell at Ben for adding to my already Lifetime-movie-of-the-week life.

“Yes, the wound will fully heal.” Drew cleared his throat. “On the plus side, the girls are doing better.” He blew into his hands to warm them. “Sometimes, I think the part right after the tragedy is actually the easiest bit.”

“What do you mean?” Paige took one last look at the grave. There were moments like this when she still couldn’t believe Ben was gone.

“I mean there’s always so much to do – bury the body, settle the estate, and plan for the future. But when the dust has settled, the work is done and things get quiet – what do we do? What do we do after it’s over? How do we fill the gaping hole they left behind?” His voice cracked a little at the end.

“I guess we start over,” she replied. Paige wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. “Things are going to get better.”

I have to believe that in order to keep going.

“They already have, Paige,” Drew coughed. “Geez, it’s cold.”

Paige shrugged. “Since you won’t wear one of Ben’s, we could have bought you a warmer jacket.” She nudged her brother in the arm. They walked away from Ben’s grave and toward the parking lot.

“Since we’re not staying, I didn’t see the point in buying a winter coat.”

“Fair enough.”

They walked in silence for a minute. There weren’t many plots left in the local cemetery, so Ben had been placed on the outskirts by two oak trees. Paige wanted to look back again, but figured it was better to keep moving forward.

“You know, you have every right to hate him. He did cheat on you and everything,” Drew said.

“I don’t hate him. I don’t know what I feel, but it isn’t hate.” Paige studied the impressions her boots left in the snow. “We talked a little about Mom and Dad before you went into rehab. There are some things we should talk about.”

“We don’t have to go there now.” Her brother smiled sympathetically at her.

“We do, because the past is dictating the present. I’ve spent the last fourteen years punishing myself for something that wasn’t my fault.”

“I’m glad you finally see that you had nothing to do with their deaths.”

“It took Beth murdering Ben for me to realize that. When I saw how completely unhinged she was, I just knew that there was nothing that anyone else did to make Mom shoot Dad. That was her choice.” Paige continued walking. “Besides, the why doesn’t matter. The end result is always the same.”

“So you’re ready to let the past go?”

“I am. I’m really sad about what happened with Ben, but I’m also really hopeful that there might finally be more to life than just enduring whatever situation I’m in. I think I could actually be happy someday—you know after this wound has healed.”

“Good.” Drew shivered. “That’s progress.”

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to run by you.” Paige drew a deep breath.

I wonder if he’ll go for it.

“What’s that?”

“It’s the law firm. You could replace me and take my shares in the practice. It would be a fresh start in a new place.”

Drew stopped abruptly. “You’re offering me your practice?”

Paige nodded. “I don’t think you should go back with me. I think sometimes that starting over in a new place, without old temptations—it’s the easiest way to move forward. Plus, Deidra always had a crush on you and she’d
love
to work with you.”

Drew laughed. “That woman is more than I can handle, but it’s not a bad idea.”

“So, you’ll think about it?”

“Yeah, I will.”

“Good.” Paige breathed a sigh of relief as they reached the parking lot. She unlocked Ben’s Jeep; she’d been driving it ever since he died.

“And what about you?” Drew asked, buckling himself in.

“It’s time I find out why Kade never showed up.”

“What if he’s moved on?”

“Then I close that door and move on too. Who knows, maybe I’ll head to Ireland for a while. Aunt Aida still has the bar.”

Drew laughed. “I can just see the drama now.”

“Hey, I had fun tending bar. Just because you suck at mixing drinks—”

“I don’t suck at it. I’m just better at drinking than mixing.” He took a deep breath. “If I stay, I won’t have to miss the girls. It’s been a lot of fun being Uncle Drew this past month.”

“They can use all the family they can get.” Paige patted him on the arm. “I better put this thing in drive; they’re expecting us.”

***

Paige stood outside the house that she had shared with Ben and the girls. It looked different to her somehow, though nothing had physically changed.

Maybe it’s me. Maybe it’s because I’ve changed. Okay, this isn’t goodbye, so suck it up and go inside already.

“Come on, Evelyn said she’d make dinner,” Drew said. He gave her a light shove in the direction of the front door.

“Right. Do you have the papers for her?” Paige chewed on her nails.

“Yeah, I’ve got them right here.” He pulled a thick envelope out of the inside pocket of his jacket and handed them to her.

“Great. We’re all set. Let’s do this.” Paige forced herself to go into their home for the last time.

***

“Are you sure about this?” Evelyn looked at the papers Paige gave her. She couldn’t seem to believe what she was reading.

“Yeah, I took the life insurance money that Ben left me and paid off the house. You and the girls can live here until Billie graduates. Then I’ll sell the house and we’ll divide up the proceeds for the girls. There should be enough to put them through college, maybe even grad school.” Paige looked past Evelyn into the kitchen to see Drew playing board games with the girls.

It’s nice to see him so happy.

“That’s very generous of you. I don’t know how to thank you,” Evelyn said.

“Let me see them from time to time? I’m really going to miss them.” Tears came again; she took several deep breaths.

I don’t want the girls to see me cry again. It’s just going to be happy memories from here on out.

“I couldn’t keep the girls away from you even if I wanted to.” Evelyn hugged her. “Thank you for everything. For what it’s worth, you were the one that Ben really loved. He saw something special in you.”

“Thank you.” Paige pulled back. She couldn’t think about Ben and still do what she needed to. “I need to get going.”

“Girls, it’s time to say goodbye to Paige,” Evelyn said.

“It’s not goodbye. It’s just see you later,” Paige said.

Bev and Billie walked out of the kitchen and tackled Paige, who landed on her butt with the two small girls squealing on top of her. Bianca held back and leaned against a wall. She stared into space.

Once they get her off the meds, feisty Bianca will come back to us. I just know she will.

Paige hugged Bev and Billie as hard as she could. “I am going to miss you so much. Will you remember that I love you?”

“Of course,” Bev replied. “I’ll Facebook you as soon as I’m old enough to have an account.”

Paige kissed her cheeks. “Okay.”

“Mommy says I can text you whenever I want,” Billie said.

“Do you even know what texting is?” Bev asked.

“Well, yeah. It’s not like I’m new,” Billie retorted.

Those two fight like an old married couple. I think I’m going to miss that.

Paige walked over to Bianca.

“I don’t see why you have to go,” Bianca said.

“There’s something I have to do.” Paige tucked a stray strand of Bianca’s hair behind her ear.

“What? What do you have to do?” Bianca asked.

“There’s a friend of mine that I’ve missed for a really long time. I need to see him.”

“Will you come back?” Bianca frowned. Tears slid down her cheeks.

“If you need me, I’ll be here.” Paige hugged her oldest stepdaughter.

“Okay,” Bianca wiped her tears with the back of her sleeve.

“We love you, Paige,” Billie said, hugging her again.

“I love you all, too.” Paige cleared her throat and wiped her eyes. “I better get going or I’ll miss my flight.”

Paige handed Evelyn the house keys and the keys to her mini-van. She got in Ben’s Jeep and headed for the airport. She planned to leave it there; Drew had found a buyer. Paige sat in her husband’s seat one last time. She thought only about the good memories they had shared.

***

The weather in Washington State was cool, but not cold like Utah. The sun was shining as Paige turned on to Ruston Way. Some of Kade’s neighbors were outside, raking fallen leaves into piles. A couple stopped to look at her curiously as she slowly drove up the street. She’d only been that way once before and couldn’t remember exactly which house belonged to Kade. When she spotted it, her heart fluttered in her chest and she hit the brakes. An anxious driver behind her honked and went around.

I guess I better get out of the way.

Paige pulled in front of Kade’s house. She sat in her rental car and stared at the house.

What if he has a girlfriend or a wife? What if he never showed because he just didn’t want me? Maybe he’s not even home.

Paige gripped the steering wheel. She looked at the house, half-hoping he wasn’t home.

Nope, his truck is parked right there.
He’s home. I just hope he’s alone.
What do I say? Why did you stand me up? Do you still love me?

Paige checked her reflection in the mirror and got out of the car. Slamming the car door shut, she studied the house. The yard had been landscaped; there were freshly planted flowers near the front door and the grass had just been cut.