After All (34 page)

With Michelle in tow, Shantae and Laree
rounded up a wide selection of comfort foods at the grocery store.
They cajoled her into their game of finding things to lift their
spirits. Microwave popcorn, hot chocolate, marshmallows, and
tabloids with outrageous headlines were thrown into the shopping
cart. When they got to Shantae's house, they put on fuzzy slippers
and over-sized tee shirts. But the playful chatter quickly changed
as the evening progressed. Hours of talking out anger, fears, and
frustration left the three women drained. Michelle did most of the
talking. She grappled with her conflicting feelings about
Anthony.

“
Chelle, I've got to agree
with Shantae for once.” Laree wrapped both arms around her knees.
They sat around Shantae's living room on big, fluffy pillows.
“Anthony couldn't have done what they're accusing him
of.”

“
He's just not like that,”
Shantae put in looking at Michelle. “Deep down, you don't think so
either.”

“
Deep down I don't want to
believe it. But what I want and the truth could be two very
different things.”Michelle bit her bottom lip.

“
The truth is Anthony isn't
the kind of person who would hurt anyone, Chelle,” Shantae
insisted.

“
Maybe not. But he still
stands up for Ike,” Michelle said with a grimace.

“
Now wait--” Shantae
began.

“
No, Shantae. He defends Ike
no matter what. That makes Anthony an accessory to every horrible
thing Ike's ever done as far as I'm concerned. Now I don't want to
discuss it anymore. What's important to me now is that Dominic get
better.” Michelle breathed deeply.”That's all I care
about.”

The women fell silent for several
minutes, lost in their own thoughts. Bundling themselves in
blankets, they remained curled up on the pillows watching
television and talking until they fell asleep sometime after three
in the morning. Michelle was the first to wake up. She smiled at
the sight of her friends sprawled on the floor. Their support and
caring helped to blunt the pain but not banish it. A now familiar
grip of sorrow took hold as thoughts of Anthony pushed through.
Somehow she must find a way to banish him from her mind. To forget
the sensation of his warm lips on hers or the sweet, tangy smell
his skin. Despite her bitter pledge, Michelle knew forgetting
Anthony was her biggest challenge. One that would test her beyond
anything else she had to face. The picture of Dominic lying
unconscious in intensive care came to her and she felt ashamed. How
could she sit here longing for Anthony? How could she feel anything
but loathing for a man who may well taken part in the brutal
beating of her brother? She would do well to remember that Anthony
was first and foremost, Ike's devoted nephew. That alone should
help destroy any feelings she had for him. Michelle could almost
laugh at the bitter irony that she at last could agree with Anthony
on one thing, family should come first. Never again would she let
emotion rule. Michelle stood and began preparing for a new
day.

***

“
Anthony was down talking to
the police yesterday.” Buster chewed on the stump of a cigar. He
took it out of his mouth and dropped it into a large ceramic ash
tray on the bar.

“
Yeah, I know. So what? The
boy don't know nothin'.” Ike swallowed the last drop of whiskey in
the glass he held. He sat on the sofa in his den.

“
I told you that damn Lonnie
is too dangerous to mess with. Didn't I tell you that when you put
him over all them other ex-cons?” Buster stabbed a finger in the
air between them.

“
They ain't gonna be able to
trace anything back to him.” Ike stared into the empty glass. “He
knows how to cover himself.”

“
I ain't goin' to prison,
Ike. We been through a lot together, but this is too much. Things
done got way outta hand. You know what I'm talkin' 'bout.” Buster
scanned the room nervously.

“
What's wrong with you,
Buster? Think we bein' bugged? You been watchin' too many of them
cop shows.” Ike barked a harsh laugh devoid of humor. He tapped his
fingers rapidly on the arm of the sofa.

“
This ain't no joke, Ike. We
talkin' 'bout a killin',” Buster said in a hoarse
whisper.

“
Stop actin' like a scared
old woman,” Ike bellowed.

“
Look here, not a damn thing
Lonnie does can be connected to me. I made sure of that. He ain't
never told me details of what he's been up to; thinks he's slick.
But that's suited me just fine. He's on his own if the police ever
catch up to him. And if you had any sense, you been stayin' away
from him much as possible, too.” Ike glanced sharply at Buster who
squirmed in his chair.

“
I-I only talked to him a
few times,” Buster exclaimed. “We just talked about maintenance on
some apartments, that's all.” He rubbed his chin with a shaky
hand.

“
You better practice that
story so you can sound more convincing when some sharp detective is
questioning you,” Ike snorted in disdain. He poured himself another
drink.

“
What about that Toussaint
boy? Lonnie must a been clean crazy pickin' on him.” Buster began
pacing the floor.

“
Go home, Buster. You
startin' to get on my nerves.” Ike had his back to him.

“
But what we gonna do, Ike?
We can't sit around waitin'--”

“
I said go home!” Ike's
voice boomed menacingly. He threw his head back and closed his
eyes. He spoke in a more composed voice. “I'll call you
later.”

Buster started to speak but stopped
seeing the look on Ike's face. Buster left without saying goodbye.
Ike sat alone staring at nothing in particular. A deep frown ceased
his features.

***

“
Has the doctor said
anything lately? Is he the same?” Michelle rushed through the
doors. The sight of Brian coming through the hospital lobby with
heavy steps sent a spike of dread through her stomach.

“
No change. They still don't
know if he'll come out of it. At least he's survived the first
twenty-four hours.” Brian's face was haggard. His usually unruffled
look gone.

“
What about
T’aneka?”

“
She’s bruised up, but okay.
They let her Mama take her home a few hours ago.”

Michelle let out a long breath. “Thank
God for that at least.”

“
Let's sit over here. I
couldn't take Mama and Dad another minute. I needed some fresh
air.”

“
What do you mean?” Michelle
sat on the edge of a bright blue vinyl bench next to her
brother.

“
For a while they barely
spoke to each other. That was bad enough. Now they're sniping at
each other over the least little thing.” Brian kneaded his temples
with both hands.

“
God, they could at least
put aside their differences at a time like this. I'm sure Daddy is
doing his best to blame Mama somehow.” Michelle said in a weary
tone. “This is especially hard on her. She and Dom are so
close.”

“
Michelle, Dad is suffering
just as much. He shows it differently. Mama isn't exactly the
victim you seem to think she is,” Brian said in a cutting
voice.

“
What are you talking about,
Brian?” Michelle leaned towards him. She studied his face
intently.

“
Nothing.”

“
No, there's something
else,” Michelle persisted.

“
All I'm saying is Mama can
take equal blame when it comes to how bad things have gotten
between them. She does her share of taking pot shots at him, too.”
Brian avoided meeting her gaze.

“
You're not telling the
truth, at least not all of it.” Michelle grasped his wrist. “What
do you know?”

“
Nothing, really.” Brian
shook her hand loose. He glanced at his wrist watch. “I better get
to the office for my meeting. I'll be back tonight.”

The anxiety in his face made Michelle
back away from forcing the issue. “Okay.”

“
Dom is going to make it,
'Chelle. He is.” He hugged her fiercely before striding
away.

Michelle rode the elevator to the fifth
floor. Stepping into the hall, she started towards the intensive
care unit when familiar voices raised in fury stopped her. She
whirled around and headed in the direction of the sound.

“
If you hadn't alienated him
all these years, he wouldn't have needed to go somewhere else for a
job. You pushed him to this!” Annette's voice was full of
resentment. She and Thomas were alone in the family waiting room
down and then hall away from the rooms and nurses station. A
television played softly in the background.

“
Stop it, Annette. One of
these days--” Thomas stood with his back to her.

“
Dominic is dying because
you wouldn't do one simple thing for him. You've been punishing him
for what you think I did.”

“
I don't think, I know what
you did!” Thomas spun around. “So did all our friends. Sneaking
around with Ike.”

“
Gossip made it more than
what it was, but you could never believe that.” Annette spoke with
resignation. “I don't care anymore. I'm sick of begging you to
forgive me. Think what you like. Just stop taking your anger out on
my son.”

“
Your son, eh?” Thomas
towered over her.

“
You never treated him like
he was yours. Having you was worse than having no father at all. At
least Ike gave him a job.” Annette said in a level voice, her eyes
bright with animosity.

“
If you think Ike would have
been a better father, why didn't you leave me? I'll tell you why;
because Ike was through using you. He wouldn't have you, would he?”
Thomas snarled in a brutal tone.

“
He made me feel wanted,
something you don't seem capable of anymore.” Annette did not back
down under his attack.

“
Then go to him. You deserve
each other!”Thomas snatched up his overcoat and stormed past
Michelle in the hallway. In his anger and pain, he did not even see
her.

Annette eyes were round with alarm when
she saw Michelle standing in the doorway as though
paralyzed.

“
My Lord, Michelle! It's not
what you think.” Her hand flew to her mouth.

“
What should I think about
you and Ike Batiste, Mama?” Michelle said. She desperately wanted
to hear another explanation that would wipe away the ugly thoughts
racing through her mind. Yet the look of guilt and fear in her
mother's eyes said there no such assurance would come.

“
Michelle, baby.” Annette
went to her wringing her hands.

Michelle walked into the room slowly to
stand before Annette. “What did Daddy mean when he said you
deserved each other?”

“
Your father is a cold
unfeeling man. He says the most horrible things to me.” Annette
reverted to her familiar whining tone.

“
Tell me about you and Ike
Batiste, Mama. Tell me what that has to do with Dominic being in
this hospital.” Michelle brushed aside her attempts to blame
Thomas.

“
Dominic is in the hospital
because some thug beat him up, baby. It doesn't have anything to do
with--”

“
Stop lying, Mama. All these
years I blamed Daddy for treating you so badly. You taught me that.
But he had a reason, didn't he?” Michelle's eyes bored into her.
“Didn't he, Mama?”

Annette collapsed into a chair. “It's
not what you think. Thomas poisoned Brian against me. And now
you.”

“
You said Ike wanted you.
Your words, not Daddy's. It won't work, Mama. You can't make Daddy
the villain this time.”

Annette straightened her shoulders and
glared at Michelle. “This is between your father and me. How dare
you interrogate me! It's none of your business young lady.”She
tried to rally and assert her parental authority.

“
You made it my business
when you deliberately tried to turn me against Daddy. So don't say
it doesn't involve me. You owe me more than an explanation, you owe
me the truth.

“
What does it matter?”
Annette pleaded with her.”It won't help any of us now. Leave it
alone.”

“
If you want any chance at
saving our relationship, you'll tell me,” Michelle said
softly.

Annette hung her head and shuddered.
“How can I? You'll despise me as much as I despise myself.” She
covered her mouth to muffle a moan of despair.

“
Hiding from it won't help.
I can't pretend nothing happened, Mama.” Michelle sat next to
Annette. She stared ahead with a face of stone, not wanting to look
at her mother. “I'm listening.”

Chapter 14

Michelle moved woodenly around the news
room going through the motions of preparing her reports for the six
o'clock broadcast. Outwardly, she was the same; a competent
professional editing copy, contacting sources, and making notes.
Inside, she felt disoriented. The world now seemed a strange
combination of foreign and familiar. Even the most common objects
seemed to have changed just enough to make her wonder if she was in
the right place. Layered onto the pain of losing Anthony was the
new awful knowledge of her mother's deceit.