Afraid (19 page)

“What's the matter? Don't I look good enough to suit you?” Julie did her best to act nonchalant. Paul was still staring at her, and his frown was deepening by the second. He didn't have to be so disapproving. She certainly wouldn't have chosen this costume if there'd been anything else left.

Paul dropped his eyes, but not before he'd given her a very critical glance. “Why don't you change into something else? I don't want you to wear that!”

“Why not?” Julie challenged him. “I happen to think I look good.”

“Wear something else. Just take my word for it, okay? You're only going to cause trouble if you go to the party dressed like that!”

Julie gave an exasperated sigh. What in the world was wrong with him? He looked angry, and sad at the same time. “Grow up, Paul. I'm not going to cause trouble. And I can't wear something else. You're just going to have to put up with me the way I am!”

“Please?” Paul's voice was hoarse with emotion. “Trust me, Julie. Don't go down to the party like that.”

“Why not?”

Paul winced, and Julie knew he didn't want to tell her. They stared at each other for a long moment, and then Paul sighed and gave in. “You shouldn't wear that because . . . Vicki wore it last year.”

“Oh.” Julie's voice immediately lost its challenging tone. She noticed that Paul looked really upset, and she reached out to put her hand on his arm. “Thanks for telling me, Paul. I never would have picked it, if I'd known. But what am I going to do? I got to the costume shop late, and this was the only thing they had left in my size.”

Paul nodded and Julie noticed that he looked very relieved. “Is there any way you could . . . uh . . . remodel it? Change it into something else?”

“Change what? There isn't enough here to change!”

Paul laughed and the tension between them was broken. “You're right. Do you have anything else you can use as a costume?”

“I don't know. Come on and help me look.”

When Paul first entered Julie's room, she noticed that he was a little nervous. Julie assumed it was because the room had belonged to Vicki, and his memories of her cousin were bound to be painful. But they had a common problem, and Paul seemed to relax as they tried to fashion a costume out of the contents of Julie's closet.

“How about this?” Paul pulled out a denim skirt, and a red and white checked blouse. “If you have boots, you can go as a cowgirl.”

Julie nodded, and found a pair of fringed buckskin boots. “Will these do?”

“Sure. Put your hair in braids and I'll see what else I can scrounge up.”

When Paul left, Julie got dressed and braided her hair. She'd barely finished before he was back.

“Here's a cowboy hat. I borrowed it from Red. The Larkins sent you this string tie, and Donna came up with a bandanna you can tie around your neck.”

“Thanks, Paul.” Julie smiled at him. “Did you find a mask?”

“Right here. The costume shop had a couple of extras. I thought the red would be nice. It'll match your blouse. And you can keep this denim vest. It's a present.”

Julie's eyes widened as she picked up the vest. It was hand embroidered with red roses and it was gorgeous. “It's beautiful! Where did you get it, Paul?”

“Mrs. Larkin made it. She does custom work.”

Julie was confused. “But why would Mrs. Larkin give me a present?”

“It's not from her. It's from me. I ordered it last year for Vicki. And then we broke up, and . . . well . . . I just never got around to picking it up. Until tonight.”

“But won't it bother you if I wear it?” Julie was concerned.

Paul shook his head. “Take it, Julie. Vicki probably wouldn't have liked it anyway.”

“Thank you, Paul.” Julie didn't know what else to say. She was beginning to have serious doubts about her cousin. From the comments she'd heard, Vicki sounded as if she'd been a very ungrateful person.

“Go ahead. Try it on.”

Julie nodded and slipped into the vest. It fit her perfectly, and she smiled. She'd always admired the embroidered shirts and vests of the American West.

Paul's voice shook slightly as she turned to face him. “It looks great on you, Julie.”

Suddenly, Julie felt very sorry for Paul. He was smiling, but the sad look was back in his eyes. She stood on tiptoe and put her arms around his neck. And then she kissed him to thank him for the present.

The kiss took Paul by surprise. His arms slipped around her waist, but he held her stiffly, as if he wasn't quite sure what was expected of him. There was a tense moment when neither of them moved. Then Paul groaned softly, and his arms tightened around her waist.

Julie gasped as their kiss deepened. Her knees began to tremble, and her mind spun in dizzy circles from the unexpected passion of his embrace. She'd never dreamed that being in Paul's arms would be this wonderful. She was trembling so hard, she could barely think.

Paul sighed, and Julie's sigh echoed his. Her lips parted, and she snuggled even closer into his arms. Paul's blustery, hard-boiled act was a sham. Buried beneath that prickly exterior was a sweet, tender, and caring guy.

She could feel his fingers moving, slipping under the vest to massage her back. Then her fingers moved, too, as if they had a will of their own, rubbing the back of his neck and moving up to brush through his thick, curly hair.

She could smell his cologne, a hint of musk that made their caress even more exciting. Had he worn that cologne with Vicki? And had her cousin's knees gone weak when he'd wrapped her in his arms? His tongue was like liquid fire, sending her senses reeling as he tasted the secrets of her lips. Had he taught Vicki to kiss this passionately? Or had she taught him?

There was no way that Julie could think while his tongue was moving and his lips were claiming hers. She just sighed again, and met his passion with her own, nibbling his lower lip with sharp little biting caresses until he groaned, deep in his throat.

His hands moved over her back, and his fingers spread out to almost touch her breasts. She heard herself whimper at the exquisite pleasure, and a flush of heat rose to her cheeks. She wanted him to go further, to love her as much as he'd loved Vicki.

Then she remembered that whispery voice, and her passion ebbed as quickly as it had risen.
I saw you flirting with him. You've adopted her wicked ways . . .

Paul must have sensed her withdrawal, because his arms dropped to his sides. His lips lifted from hers, and he stared down at her in consternation. He looked just as surprised by his reaction to her as she'd been by her response to him.

Julie pulled back and refused to meet his eyes. She was suddenly cautious, and more than a little perplexed. She'd lost her head for a brief moment, and so had he.

“I . . . I think you'd better go.” Julie's legs were shaking as she turned from him and began to gather up the accessories to her costume.

Paul nodded. He swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and did his best to apologize. “I'm sorry, Julie. I don't know what got into me. But don't worry. I promise, it'll never happen again. Are we still friends?”

“Of course.” Julie nodded, and tried to smile, but her smile was wobbly and she knew she was blushing. “Don't forget Aunt Caroline's camera.”

“Right.” Paul's voice was brisk as he headed for the door. But when he got there, he stopped and turned toward her again. “Uh . . . Julie?”

“Yes, Paul?”

He frowned. It was clear he wanted to say something, but he couldn't seem to find the words. “I'll . . . uh . . . I'll see you at the party, okay?”

“Sure.” Julie tried to be casual, but that was difficult when her knees were still shaking and she felt weak all over. Ryan's kiss on the mountain had been exciting, but Paul's was pure dynamite !

Paul nodded and gave her a little wave. Then he opened the door and went out, forgetting entirely about closing it behind him. Julie waited until she was sure he was gone, and then she crossed the room to shut the door. Her emotions were in a turmoil, and she wasn't sure whether she felt like laughing, or crying, or groaning in frustration. Since she didn't seem to be capable of deciding on any one reaction, she just sank down on the bed and sighed.

Paul had been a real gentleman. He could easily have taken full advantage of her, but he hadn't. And she almost wished he had! She was disappointed and relieved at the same time, a very uncomfortable state of mind to be in.

Julie sighed again. Maybe the whispery voice had been right. She'd enjoyed Ryan's kiss on the ski slope. She wouldn't deny that. And she had initiated the kiss with Paul. Of course, it was only meant to be a friendly kiss. She'd had no idea things would get so out of hand!

A slow smile spread across Julie's face as she remembered the delightful sensations Paul's kiss had evoked. It had been totally wonderful, losing her head and finding herself wrapped tightly in his warm, strong arms. Perhaps the whispery voice on the phone had been right. Perhaps she was wicked . . . especially because she really hoped that Paul would break his promise and kiss her again!

J
ulie was having the time of her life. She'd never known costume parties could be so much fun. She'd danced with a prince, a Southern gentleman in a white suit, a scuba diver, a skeleton, Dracula, and three harlequins. And she'd only been at the party for an hour.

“Julie?” A Gypsy fortune teller tapped her on the shoulder and Julie whirled around. “It's you, isn't it?”

Julie laughed as she recognized Donna's voice. “It's me. Is your pirate here?”

“No.” Donna sounded very disappointed. “At least, I don't
think
he's here. He could be wearing something else this year.”

“Check out the prince. He's a great dancer. Maybe he's your pirate.”

Donna shook her head. “No, that's Larry Berman. He's one of the weekend ski instructors. Have you danced with the ghost?”

“Not yet. But the night's young and so am I. Be careful of that green-and-black harlequin, though. He's got two left feet.”

“Dave.” Donna nodded. “I saw him putting on his mask.”

“How about the one in pink and black? He's very fast on his feet . . . and I say that deliberately.”

“I don't know who that is. We've got over a dozen harlequins here tonight, and they're all wearing different colors.”

Julie stared at the pink-and-black harlequin, but she had no clue to which employee was under the mask. Then the color rose to her cheeks as she realized that she could have been dancing with Paul. “Which one is Paul? He's wearing a harlequin costume, isn't he?”

“Sure, but I don't know which color he picked. The yellow-and-black is Ryan. He's helping out tonight.”

“How can you tell?” Julie was puzzled. The harlequins were wearing full-face masks.

“I danced with him, and nobody but Ryan would have the nerve to put his hands where he did! Take my word for it. Avoid him like the plague.”

“Thanks. I will.” Julie nodded, and tried not to blush. It was a good thing Donna didn't know about the way Ryan had kissed her on Dead Man's Run, and the two times he'd tried to get her to meet him at the old stone archway that marked the driveway to Saddlepeak Lodge.

“I think that's Paul in the red, over there by the fireplace. Or maybe he's the one in blue. That looks like him, too. Or the orange. They're all tall enough to be Paul.“

“How about the one in purple? Do you think that's Ross?” Julie's heart beat a little faster. She knew that purple was Ross's favorite color.

“Search me.” Donna shrugged. “I can't tell, once they put on their masks. And they love to confuse us. It's fun, isn't it?”

Julie nodded, but her eyes lingered on the purple-and-black harlequin, trying to will him over to her side. She'd been watching him all evening as he'd danced and mingled with the guests. He was an excellent dancer, and he never seemed to miss a step. He'd been attentive to every partner, even when he'd danced with several very elderly ladies. It just had to be Ross. His eyes met hers briefly and she saw him smile. Then he nodded to a turquoise-and-black harlequin, and they started to move across the crowded dance floor.

“Here they come!” Donna grinned as the two harlequins approached them. “I think the one in the turquoise is John Jaeger. He went to high school with Ross.”

Julie's heart beat faster as the two harlequins approached them. The one in purple-and-black bowed in front of her and held out his hand. The other harlequin dipped his head toward Donna.

“You want to dance, right?” Donna laughed as her harlequin nodded. “Okay, I'd love to. Just whirl me past that refreshment table, so I can grab a cookie on the way.”

Julie's heart beat a rapid tattoo as the purple-and-black harlequin took her in his arms. She was almost sure it was Ross. He was the right height and weight, and she could feel the muscles ripple in his arms as he held her. Yes, it was Ross.

The song ended, and Julie turned to leave the dance floor. But her harlequin shook his head and held her arm, so she couldn't back away. Then the band started playing again, a slow, dreamy love song, and the harlequin pulled her into his arms and held her close as they moved around the crowded floor.

Julie felt as if she were floating in the strong circle of Ross's arms. It had to be Ross. Her heart pounded wildly as he reached out to fondle a lock of her hair. But the memory of Paul's kiss intruded, the way he'd stroked her hair, the expression of caring in his eyes. Deliberately she put that memory out of her mind. She was dancing with Ross, and that was exactly what she'd wanted, wasn't it?

They approached the open doors to the terrace, and he moved her smoothly through them. And then they were dancing on the smooth stone floor, embracing in the velvety darkness illuminated by thousands of brilliant stars.

The dance ended on a clear, sweet note, fading away into breathless silence. Julie waited for the moment he would release her, but he didn't seem to want to let her out of his arms. She looked up with a question in her eyes. And then his lips came down to meet hers.

His kiss was bold, a confident declaration of his passion for her. Julie felt a jolt of surprise. It was a man's kiss, the blazing caress of an experienced lover who was aware of his power to seduce an attractive woman. But that shouldn't really surprise her. Ross was almost four years older than she was, and he'd obviously had experience.

Julie's mind spun in dizzy circles. How far should she let him go, now that she'd gotten his attention at last? Would Ross be satisfied with one kiss, a single caress in the shadows, when he was obviously used to much more?

Her mind spun in crazy circles. She'd done everything she could to attract Ross, hoping for this very moment. And now that the moment was here, she found she really didn't like it. His kiss was expert, and she should have been enjoying it, but she couldn't help thinking about Paul and how disappointed he'd be if he knew that Ross was kissing her.

Julie pulled back, stepping out of his embrace. “I . . . I think we should go inside now.” The harlequin nodded, and Julie saw the flash of his smile in the darkness. Then he inclined his head, and offered his arm.

Julie stared at him for a moment, and then she took his arm to let him escort her back inside. But suddenly, she felt that curious prickling at the back of her neck. Was someone watching them? She turned to look back at the dark shadows where he had kissed her, but it was too dark to see. And then they were inside, under the lights, where people were laughing and talking.

The purple-and-black harlequin led her to the refreshment table where Donna was waiting. Then he bent one knee in a sweeping bow, and left her.

“Was that Ross?” Donna's voice was eager.

“What?”

“The purple-and-black harlequin . . . was it Ross?”

Julie nodded, barely registering Donna's question. His kiss had been so intense, her legs were shaking.

“You look weird. What did he do, try to hit on you?”

Julie hesitated. She trusted Donna not to spread gossip, but she didn't want anyone to know about the kiss. Not yet. Not now. Not until she'd sorted out the strange feelings she'd experienced.

“Well?” Donna grinned as she waited for Julie's answer. “Did he?”

“No. Of course not. We just went out for a breath of air, that's all.”

“Oh, sure.” Donna raised her eyebrows, and gave Julie a knowing grin. “And Santa Claus is alive and well at the North Pole. But I think I should warn you. You had an audience. I saw another harlequin follow you out there.”

“What color was he?”

“I didn't notice. Is it important?”

“No . . . not really. I was just curious, that's all.” Julie took a glass of punch and followed Donna to an empty table. They'd only been sitting for a moment when a skeleton and a scarecrow came to ask them to dance. The skeleton was an excellent dancer, and Julie did her best to concentrate as he whirled her around the floor. But all she could think about was the other harlequin who'd seen her kissing Ross, and hope that he hadn't been Paul.

The rest of the dance passed in a fog. Julie was sure she'd danced with every single one of the two hundred male guests. And then it was midnight, time for the unmasking and the awards for the best costumes.

There was a drum roll, and Aunt Caroline stepped up on the bandstand. Donna came over to stand beside Julie, and they listened as Aunt Caroline explained the prizes. There were three trophies, one for the best-dressed woman, another for the best-dressed man, and a third for the best-dressed couple. The first runners-up in each category would receive season ski passes, and the second runners-up would be entitled to free dinners in the lodge restaurant.

As Aunt Caroline awarded the prizes, Julie's eyes scanned the crowd for the purple-and-black harlequin. It was almost time, and she wanted to see Ross pull off his mask. But the purple-and-black harlequin wasn't mingling with the crowd. He'd disappeared right before the unmasking.

There was another drum roll and everyone unmasked. Julie gasped as Donna pointed toward Ross. He was wearing a black-and-white harlequin costume!

“But who was in the purple?” Julie's voice shook slightly as she remembered the kiss with the harlequin she'd thought was Ross.

Donna grinned. “All I can say is, it's a good thing you didn't kiss him. I saw him drive off in his car.”

“Who was he?”

“There's only one Rolls Royce Silver Ghost in town, and it belongs to Dick Stratford.”

 

The Halloween costume party was over and the guests had left. Julie helped to clear the tables, and as she was carrying the last tray of dishes into the kitchen, she spotted Donna putting away the leftovers from the party platters.

“Hi, Julie.” Donna finished covering a platter with plastic wrap, and set it on the counter.

“Donna? I know you have to help clean up, but I really need to talk to you.”

“No problem. I'm due for a break.” Donna shoved the tray to the back of the counter. “What's the matter?”

Julie glanced around. There were several other people in the kitchen. “Can we go somewhere private?”

“Sure. Let's go into the lobby. We can talk there.”

A moment later, both girls were seated on one of the overstuffed leather couches. Julie took a deep breath and blurted out her confession.

“You were right, Donna. I kissed the purple-and-black harlequin. But I really thought he was Ross.”

Donna started to laugh. “You kissed Dick Stratford?”

“Yes. I never would have done it, if I'd known who he was. And now I feel so . . . so cheap.”

“You just kissed him? That's all?” Donna looked puzzled when Julie nodded. “I don't see why you're so upset. It was just a harmless kiss at a party.”

“I know. But I don't want to be like Vicki. I heard she was . . . uh . . . a little wild.”

“Forget it, Julie.” Donna reached out to pat her on the shoulder. “There's no way you could be like Vicki. She used guys, and then she dumped them. You're not like that at all.”

“But . . . I've kissed three different guys since I moved here. And I liked it, Donna! All except for Dick Stratford. He was so good at it, he scared me.”

“I'll bet! Dick Stratford's had plenty of practice.” Donna laughed, and then she turned serious. “You're really worried, Julie?”

Julie nodded. “Aunt Caroline and Uncle Bob have been great, but I miss my parents. And I keep remembering all the happy times we had. I'm afraid that I'm going to throw myself at some guy because I miss the love and affection my parents gave me.”

“Thank you, Miss Freud.” Donna grinned at her. “Look, Julie . . . I don't think that the fact you kissed three guys has anything to do with missing your parents. Did you date a lot at your school in Switzerland?”

“No. It was a girls' school, and we were supervised almost every minute. I only went out on my own a couple of times, and I never really had a boyfriend. It was just friends of friends, that sort of thing. And I never met anyone I was serious about.”

“So you never had this much freedom before?”

Julie shook her head. “No.”

“Well, that's it, then!” Donna grinned at her. “There's absolutely nothing to worry about.” Julie frowned.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I'm sure.” Donna laughed. “You're just making up for lost time. If I'd been locked up in a girls' school for almost five years, I'd go absolutely wild when I got out. And kissing three guys isn't exactly wild, especially when you thought one of them was someone else.”

Julie breathed a big sigh of relief. “Thanks, Donna. I was really worried, and you helped a lot. If there's ever anything I can do for you, all you have to do is ask.”

“Well . . . there is one thing.”

“What is it?”

“Tell me who else you kissed. I'm dying to know.”

Julie sighed. She was trapped. She had to tell Donna, now. “I kissed Ryan. He took me by surprise up on the ski slope.”

“Ryan?” Donna began to grin, and she leaned forward. “Was he as good as his father?”

“Almost.”

“And you liked it?”

“Yes.” Julie could feel herself blushing again. “I liked the kiss, but I'm not sure I like Ryan. And I'm not going to kiss him again.”

“That's good. Ryan's not right for you. Who's the third?”

Julie took a deep breath. She had to tell, and she didn't really want to. “You've got to promise not to say anything to anybody.”

“Okay. I promise. Who was it?”

“Paul.”

“My brother, Paul?”

Donna looked shocked, and Julie winced. Perhaps she shouldn't have told her. “I'm sorry, Donna. It just sort of happened.”

“Don't be sorry. I think it's fantastic! Did you like it?”