Aflame (Fall Away #4) (21 page)

“Wow.” I brought my hand to my mouth, covering my whisper. “Holy—”

“Shit?” I heard Jax finish and looked up to see him stepping into the room.

I smiled at him through the happy tears in my eyes. “Are you asking her to marry you?” I inquired. “Or have you already asked her?”

I was so excited for Juliet.

He looked away, the words caught in his throat. “Yes, actually,” he stammered. “But that’s not the ring I’m using.”

At my confused look, he shut the door behind him and spoke low.

“That’s Jared’s,” he told me. “He left it here when he came home a year and a half ago.”

Jared’s . . . ? What?

“He left it here when he came home to propose to you,” he finished, the solemn look on his face clearly waiting for my reaction.

My lungs emptied, and I just stood there. I couldn’t move.

Jared came home more than a year ago to propose to me?

I dropped the bag, leaning against the dresser, and closed my eyes, walking myself through what he must’ve felt when he saw me with someone else. Buying a ring, coming home still as in love with me as when he left, and seeing . . .

Jax grabbed my face, turning me to look at him. “Look at me, Tate.” Our eyes locked. “Stop, okay? You did nothing wrong. As with everything, it was bad timing.” His hands cupped my face firmly, and I breathed in and out, trying to move past the ache of regret. I’d never wanted to hurt Jared. But he’d hurt me when he left, and I’d had to push him away.

“You are the love of his life,” Jax continued, “and there was never any question that he was going to make his way back to you and fight for you sooner or later. What’s important is that you both move on. You’ve got a life to live, memories to make with each other, and babies to have.” He shook my face with his last words, bringing me back. “Don’t waste another minute.”

He was right. He was always right.

I could spend hours or days feeling bad about Jared wanting to marry me long ago, but I hadn’t meant to break his heart. I was simply trying to protect mine.

Now he was here. He loved me, and I loved him. And we were happy. Case closed, and no looking back.

“Jax!” Juliet yelled from downstairs.

He dropped his hands, running into the hallway.

“What’s wrong?” He peered over the railing.

“Check your phone! Madoc just texted,” she said, sounding worried. “Katherine just went into labor. She’s having the baby now!”

Jared

We dove into the elevator, Jax and I with the girls at our sides, and my phone about to crack under the pressure of my fist.

After Madoc’s text, Tate had come through the backdoor carrying my duffel, and I had her go start the car while I slipped on some clothes. Jax and Juliet had sped off right away, while I swung by Madoc’s house and picked up Pasha. She’d been keeping pretty busy, hanging out with Jax at the Loop and hiking with Madoc, Fallon, and Lucas—their little brother from the Big Brothers Big Sisters program—this past week, but for some reason, I didn’t want to leave her out of things.

So I took a small detour, picked her up, and hit the road.

And of all the fucking inconveniences, my mother was in Chicago for the weekend with Jason, since her city friends had convinced her to go to some baby exposition bullshit when she should’ve been resting.

We sped the entire drive and caught up with Jax.

Once inside the hospital, I sent Pasha to the gift shop to buy flowers. I considered making sure my mom and sister were all right more important than personally picking out her floral arrangement. So while she did that, the rest of us raced up to the third floor.

My muscles tightened in anticipation, and I could feel a trickle of sweat trail down my back. I didn’t know why I was so nervous.

It wasn’t worry or discomfort. It was definitely nervousness. I rubbed my mouth over my T-shirt on my shoulder, wiping away the thin layer of sweat.

What was I supposed to do with a baby? It was doubtful there would be any connection. Our differences in age would most likely prevent us from bonding.

And it was a girl. What was I supposed to do with a girl?

Luckily, she was little, and it would be a long time before she really interacted with anyone.

But part of me was also depressed by that fact, too.

Madoc, and even Jax, would no doubt catch on very quickly how to play with her and talk to her, but entertaining, much less tolerating, people was never my strong suit.

But I did want her to be close to me. I just had no idea what the hell to do to make that happen.

Madoc had texted that my mom was in suite seven, and since it took us nearly an hour to get to Chicago, navigate traffic to the hospital, and park, the baby was already here and so were Madoc and Fallon, since they’d left before us.

I didn’t knock. Barging into the room, though, I slowed, seeing Madoc standing by my mom’s bed with the baby already in his arms.

“I got her first,” he teased. “Sorry.”

He wasn’t at all sorry, judging by the shitty-ass grin on his face, but it was okay. I stared at the tightly wrapped pink bundle in Madoc’s big arms, looking like nothing more than a little loaf of bread, and I tried to wrap my brain around the fact that that was my sister.

I couldn’t even see her, she was so buried in blankets.

Tate stayed at my side, and I could feel my mom watching me as Jax veered around to go to Madoc’s side.

“Hey, Quinn Caruthers,” he sang, putting a gentle hand on her head.

Madoc looked at her with awe, already in love, while Jax loomed at his side, and I could tell he was itching to get her into his arms.

I didn’t know why I felt like a third wheel. I glanced at my mom, who was watching me with patience.

“All of her brothers.” She reminded me, urging me with her eyes to go get a closer look at the baby.

I inhaled a deep breath and walked over, flanking Madoc’s other side as I dropped my eyes and took in the little bit. The little bit of nothing who was already succeeding in making my knees buckle.

“Isn’t she perfect?” Madoc said holding her up on his forearms in front of his body, so we all could see.

And everything inside of me gave way.

My chest splintered in a hundred different cracks, my hands tingled, and what I felt was almost a craving to hold her.

Her glistening eyelids covered her eyes in sleep, so I couldn’t tell their color, but the rest of her had a reddish tint that made her look like she’d been through the ringer today.

Her plump new cheeks looked soft and fragile, her nose was no bigger than my pinky nail, and the little triangle gap between her lips as she breathed—every little thing—felt like it was digging its way into my heart. I reached out, unable to resist slipping my finger into her fist.

How could anything be so little?

The tiny fingers—as frail as matchsticks—wrapped around my finger, and my throat swelled, and I tried to swallow against the painful ache, but it was too much.

“We’re your brothers, little girl,” Jax cooed.

“Yeah.” Madoc laughed. “You’re so screwed.”

Everyone laughed, high off the rush of a new baby, but I was falling. The blanket shifted, and I looked down to see her little feet nudge their way out.

“Jesus, she’s little,” I breathed out, amazed. I looked up. “Mom, I . . .”

But my mom was crying, tears streaming down her face, and I immediately felt like shit that I hadn’t gone to her first.

“Are you okay?” I asked, trying to slip away from Quinn’s little fist, but it was no use.

She shook her head clear, smiling. “I’m on top of the world,” she assured me. “The picture I’m looking at right now couldn’t be more perfect.” And she started crying again, looking at Madoc, Jax, and me. Jason brought her head into his chest, looking completely disheveled himself.

“She’s going to be a blonde,” he pointed out, referring to his new daughter.

“How do you know?” Jax asked, curious.

“Because she’s practically bald. Just like Madoc was.”

Madoc snorted and shot his dad an annoyed look.

I put my hand on top of her head, amazed at how it fit in my palm. I felt Tate watching me and looked up to see a smile in her eyes.

“You want to hold her, Jared?” my mom spoke up.

I shook my head. “I don’t think—”

But Madoc was already on me, handing her off. I brought my arms up, feeling them shake under the weight of her weightlessness.

“Oh, shit.” I breathed hard.

“Language.” I heard my mom’s faint mumble.

Madoc took his arms away, slowly lowering her head into the crook of my arm, and even though she weighed nothing, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to hang on to her.

Different from any other feeling I’d ever had.

I pinched my eyebrows together, studying every little inch of her sweet face.

“She’s so small,” I said more to myself than to the others.

“She’ll grow,” Jax commented, peering over my shoulder.

I shook my head, not believing that I was once that little. “So helpless . . .”

Tate finally appeared at my side and kissed her forehead. “A girl with you three as her brothers will be anything but helpless.” She laughed.

My chest suddenly shook, watching as her mouth opened in a little oval as she yawned, and—
holy shit
—I was going to die. Could she get any cuter?

I laughed so I wouldn’t cry. “I feel like my heart is breaking, and I don’t know why. What the hell?”

“It’s love,” I heard my mother say. “Your heart isn’t breaking. It’s growing.”

Tate wrapped her arm around my waist and leaned her head on my arm, both of us watching Quinn.

I leaned down, brushing a kiss on her cheek and inhaling her baby scent.

Jesus
, I was pathetic.

“My turn,” Jax shot out, nudging in.

Reluctantly, I handed her off, careful to support her head. I was unnerved by how much I didn’t want to give her up.

Hell, I even hated the thought of ever having to leave Shelburne Falls again.

“Oh, God!”

We all turned, stunned out of our baby trance as Juliet dove for the wastebasket and vomited, turning away from us to hide her display.

“Juliet!” Jax shouted, handing the baby off to our mom as he and Tate rushed over to help.

“Baby, are you okay?” he asked as Tate pulled back her hair.

“Oh, my God,” she groaned, dry heaving over the garbage. “I’m so sorry. I don’t want to make the baby sick if I caught something.”

“Here.” Jax handed her some Kleenex to wipe her mouth and supported her body with his arm.

She pushed him away, lurching again and emptying just about everything else she had in her stomach.

“Oh, no.” A nurse walked in, shoving the water pitcher at me as she rushed to Juliet’s side.

“I’m sorry,” Juliet mumbled, holding her hand over her mouth, a pink blush settling on her skin.

I put the pitcher down on my mom’s little dinner table and poured some water for both her and Juliet.

“No harm done,” the nurse soothed. “Come with me.” And she placed a hand on her back, guiding her out.

Jax and Tate made a move to follow, but Juliet stopped them. “No, you stay. Both of you,” she ordered. “I’ll be fine. Stay with Quinn. I’ll see you in the waiting room.”

“You’re not fine,” Jax shot out.

“Stay,” she commanded. “Please, I’ll feel bad. I’m just going to the bathroom, anyway. I’ll see you in a minute.”

Jax stood at the doorway, watching her go, and the rest of us took seats on the couch, laughing at Madoc taking selfies with Quinn.

***

“Looks like the cruise is shot,” I commented, noticing that the time on my phone already read after four in the afternoon.

By the time we’d gotten to the hospital and visited with my mom, Jason, and Quinn, it was nearly time to head home for Tate’s race tonight.

Thankfully, the weather had cleared up, so Jax was expecting a full crowd.

“It’s okay.” Tate nuzzled in under my arm, wrapping her arm around my waist. “This was a much better day anyway.”

She looked over at Jax on her other side and then up at me. “Your sister is a very lucky girl. You both know that, right?”

Jax and I shared a look, laughing to ourselves.

“What?” Tate looked back and forth between us.

I shook my head, knowing what she meant, but . . .

“Well,” I started, “my first thought was that she needs other kids to grow up with. She’ll be lonely.”

“Yeah,” Jax chimed in, lifting his water bottle to his lips and agreeing with me.

“Well,” Tate argued, “you may be surprised at how much you’ll all make sure she’s
not
lonely.”

“Good point,” I added. And she was probably right. My mother was spot on about our roles with our sister.

As soon as I held her fragile, helpless body, I’d known that I would run into the middle of a stampede for her.

“Hey.” Jax approached the nurse’s station. “My girlfriend was sick. A nurse took her somewhere, but I haven’t seen her or heard anything.”

“Juliet Carter?” she said right away. “Yeah, she’s in room two.”

“They put her in a room?” he asked, confused, and Tate shot me a worried look.

The nurse nodded and gestured to the left with her hand.

I dug in my eyebrows, a little worried.

Even though I’d grown pretty fond of Juliet, she was still normally off my radar. Her interests, hobbies, and well-being weren’t high on my list of priorities, so I’d never paid her much mind. But I had to admit she was head over heels for my brother, as well as loyal and nurturing. And she worked hard, never expecting things to be handed to her.

She deserved him, and he deserved her.

Jax barreled for room two, pushing open the door, while Tate and I quickly followed.

“Jesus,” Jax cursed as soon as he entered the room. “Is she okay?”

We rushed in, seeing her asleep on top of the covers, looking peaceful and still wearing the same clothes as before.

He rushed to her side, looking her up and down. “What the hell?” he whispered, turning to the nurse who had trailed in behind us.

She stopped, a stunned look on her face. “I’m sorry, sir?”

“What’s wrong with her?” I said softly, careful not to wake Juliet.

Tate had stepped up next to Jax, looking down at her friend.

“I just came on duty,” she explained. “As far as I know, though, she’s fine. They just wanted her to rest and get hydrated.” She looked around to all of us. “She’ll be fine to leave in a bit. No worries.”

“Well, is something wrong? She’s my girlfriend.” Jax’s worried eyes were trying to connect the dots just like the rest of us. But with no luck.

“Not at all.” Her voice sounded light. “It’s very common to have a hard time holding anything down in the first trimester. She’ll be fine. Just make sure she drinks as much water as possible.”

Jax’s eyes nearly bugged out of his goddamn head, and I almost choked on my breath.

“Tri-what?” I forced out.

“Jax,” Tate gasped, looking between us, smiling with her hand over her mouth.

“I’m sorry.” Jax shook his head, zoning in on the poor young nurse. “What the hell did you just say?”

Realization dawned, and she straightened. “Oh,” she said, looking caught. “I’m sorry. I thought a doctor spoke to you.” She inched up to the bed, embarrassment warming her face.

“She’s pregnant?” Jax blurted.

The nurse nodded, checking the water pitcher on the table. “Yes, about five weeks. From what the other nurse said before she left, it doesn’t sound like your girlfriend was aware, either.” She turned to leave and then faced Jax again. “And I am sorry again. I thought you were informed.”

She left the room, and Jax leaned down on the bed, staring at Juliet. Tate squeezed my hand, and I felt a sudden need to get her alone. It had been a crazy day.

Jax brought up his hand, caressing Juliet’s face, and then placed it on her stomach, looking like he was trying to wrap his head around the news.

“Let’s go,” I whispered to Tate. My brother needed to be alone with his girl right now.

Keeping hold of Tate’s hand, I led her out of the room and walked down the hall, finding the single-person restroom. With all the chaos today, not to mention that we still had her race tonight, I needed to steal a few minutes with her.

Pulling her inside, I backed her up to the door and took her by the neck, crashing my mouth down on hers.

She moaned, surprised as she slipped her hands under my T-shirt to hold on to my back. Her mouth was so warm, and I nibbled her lips, too damn hungry to get my mouth on the rest of her body.